


Distance Makes the Heart Pissed Off

by readwriteandavengers



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Chaptered, Coming Out, Crushing, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sex, Idiots in Love, M/M, Masturbation, Military Inaccuracies, NO DEATH, Other COD characters wil be featured but not all tagged, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Wet Dream, doesn't follow mw2, lack of military knowledge, strong family, using a lot of creative freedom here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:01:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 98,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24685006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readwriteandavengers/pseuds/readwriteandavengers
Summary: A "forced vacation" is what Ghost called it when Gary told him that he wasn't going home - that he was going to stay with Ghost and Soap. Gary didn't make it easy on Ghost. He fought it at every angle he could.. but Ghost is too good.So now Gary's home with his large, caring, compassionate, understanding family, working on their apple orchard. It's the easiest work he's dealt with since he turned 18 and joined the military. But his family life is proving difficult when he realizes how much he's missed since he's been gone. He's learning about his family, their lives, their struggles, and secrets they hold.And much to Gary's dismay, he's learning things about himself that he's not sure he's ready to know yet. He liked it much better when he was too busy with the task force to think about himself.
Relationships: Simon "Ghost" Riley/Gary "Roach" Sanderson
Comments: 224
Kudos: 262





	1. The Return

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! This is a really. really long slow burn fic. I've got mostly original characters in here, so I hope you like them! This is the first fic I've posted in quite some time, and I've been working on this for over two years now! I apologize for any errors. Thanks for reading,
> 
> I'd also like to add that I've taken a lot of liberty with these characters - and obviously not everything may be correct! Again, thanks for reading!

Gary throws his work gloves on top of the pile, where his siblings have disposed of theirs. He’s the last one in; he usually is, but he doesn’t mind. The hard work keeps his mind busy, so there’s little time for him to overthink, or reflect on old missions, or what went wrong on those missions. The hard work also makes him feel useful, which he found is quite hard to do since it was decided he needed a break from the 141. 

It wasn’t a choice he made, and it wasn’t a choice that was made _just_ for him. Others were sent home, which wasn’t a punishment but… it was hard to not feel like it was. 

He was assured that when he’s needed they’ll call him, but as the days go on with no contact, Gary’s not so sure he believes that anymore. 

His fingers wrap around the handle on the screen door, pulling it open and walking inside. It cracks against the doorframe behind him, which causes the others to look up.

Gary’s three sisters sit around the table, each with a lemonade out in front of them. Two are dressed in business casual attire, since they’ve got lovely, air-conditioned office jobs. While that may sound bitter, Gary doesn’t mean it to in the slightest. He’s glad that his sisters are working, getting paid, and happy with their jobs. 

His other sister has her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail with dirt streaked on her forehead and arms. She works on the farm, with Gary and their two brothers… who are nowhere to be found. 

“Hey, Gar-bear,” Madilyn, the one who works with Gary out in the field, greets. “Grab a glass and sit down.”

Gary does as he’s told. After all, he’d much rather spend time with his sisters than his rowdy brothers. It doesn’t matter how old they get, they’re always wrestling and bouncing off one another as if they’re teenage boys. That might be a funny claim considering Gary’s on a taskforce with a bunch of men that act the same way, but it doesn’t make it any less true. 

“Where’s Mom?” Gary asks after a swig of lemonade; which is just sweet enough for Gary.

“Right here,” comes his mother’s reply. 

She comes down from the steps, rounding the corner and offering her kids a big grin. 

“Oh, how lovely it is to have all my children back home.” She comments, taking a moment to wrap her arms around Gary and squeeze him close to her stomach. The comment is pointed at him, since he was the only one that left their small town.

Becca rolls her eyes but she’s grinning so there’s no heat behind it. 

“Mom, leave him alone, for God’s sake.” Becca says, giving Gary a sympathetic look. 

“Becca, I will pull the hot sauce out of the cabinet if you take the Lord’s name one more time.” Their mother warns, lifting one brow at her daughter. 

The threat of hot sauce means little now that they’re full grown and hot sauce is nothing more than a bother, but Becca doesn’t fight back out of respect for their mom. She only shakes her head with a smile, letting the threat go. 

“So how was the orchard today, you two?” Emma questions, turning herself towards her two younger siblings with interest. 

“Hot.” Madilyn and Gary offer at the same time. Their shared sentiment causes the room to giggle. 

There’s a moment of silence before Becca’s eyes land on Gary again. This time he can tell she’s going to ask something she’s been holding in for awhile. He knows his sisters after all. 

“How’ve you been adjusting?” Becca says as nonchalantly as she can manage, but Gary can see the concern in her eyes. The rest of the room looks at him as well, and he knows they’ve all been wanting to ask him this since he got back home three weeks ago. 

“Alright,” Gary says with a shrug. “It’s definitely different.” 

Becca nods, taking a sip of lemonade since she doesn’t want to push too far. It’s obvious that Gary can’t share too much of what he does, nor does he really want to. If his family knew half of the shit that he actually does… they wouldn’t look at him the same. 

“It’s nice,” Gary tacks on as an after thought. He means that. He doesn’t want to sound ungrateful, especially since he’s staying with his parents. In his old bedroom. And they gave him a job.

His mom gives him a smile from where she stands near the sink, but Gary can tell it doesn’t meet her eyes. Part of him wants to ask why. Maybe he said the wrong thing… 

But then the screen door swings wide open and in comes Emma’s two boys, Michael and Garrison. Michael runs right up to his mom, while Garrison, the younger of the two, runs right up to Gary. 

“Uncle Gary!” Garrison exclaims, coming forward to wrap his arms around him. The five-year old buries his face into Gary’s side, so Gary hugs back with his free hand as tightly as he can without hurting the boy. 

“Hey, Garrison!” Gary greets. “You sure are excited to see me.” 

“I missed you!” Garrison exclaims as he pulls back to smile up at his uncle. He’s got soft brown eyes with sandy brown hair, that sticks straight up in the back. 

“I missed you, too!” Gary says just as excitedly.

“You just saw him last weekend, Garrison!” Emma chuckles through her accusation and Michael, the nine-year-old, laughs with her. 

“I know!” Garrison laughs as he gives Gary another squeeze. 

The room laughs, and Gary does too as he rustles his nephews hair. When the laughter dies down, Michael takes a step forward and rests one hand timidly on Gary’s shoulder.

“Uncle Gary?” Michael’s voice is soft, but Gary turns to look at the older boy. Gary missed most of Michael’s childhood. He actually left before Michael turned three, so to see how much he’s grown always amazes Gary.

“Yeah, Mikey?”

“Were in you a war?” Michael asks shyly, ducking his eyes to the ground. 

“Kind of,” Gary responds lightly, giving a small shrug. “But war can be different for everyone. I travelled a lot. Got to see a lot of cool places and some not so cool places.” 

“Mommy says you can’t tell us what you do.” Michael admits, catching Gary’s eye innocently. 

“Yeah, Mom’s right. But if that changes, you’ll be the first one I’ll tell. How about that?” Gary sends a crooked smile at his nephew, then reaches out to wrap his other arm around Michael. 

Michael grins at the promise and leans in to hug Gary tightly. 

“You boys, I swear,” Emma snickers at the sight of her kids snuggled up to their uncle. 

“Yeah, tell me about it! They must not like me anymore.”

Everyone looks up to see Grant entering with his hands lifted as if he’s been betrayed. Graham, the other missing brother, enters behind him with a soft smile on his face. 

“Gary’s obviously their favorite, Grant.” Graham explains with a disappointed shake of his head. “We can’t beat that."

Gary rolls his eyes, but that causes Michael and Garrison to run away from Gary and right at their other two uncles. Grant takes Michael hostage, lifting him up and pinning him, while Graham takes a hold of Garrison and cradles him like a baby. 

“Be careful!” Gary's mom says. 

“Oh, they’re fine, Mom.” Emma says with a wave of her hand. “Let them burn off their energy now. Then they’ll hopefully sleep on the ride home.” 

The evening continues on like that, with a few more glasses of lemonade, and the siblings all catching up. Michael and Garrison relax on the couch, watching some cartoon on a TV that’s way too old. When the sky darkens, with the last light from the sun depleting, Emma stands. 

“I guess I better get these kids home.” Emma says, giving a slight nod in the direction of her boys. Garrison is mostly still awake, eyes plastered to the TV, whereas Michael’s head falls only for him to sit upright again as he awakens. 

“I’ll help you.” Their mom says as Emma walks over to the boys and tells them it’s time to leave. Garrison pouts but takes his grandmother’s hand as they walk out towards the cars. Michael stands up, using his mom as a crutch as she guides her sleepy son out. 

“Those boys are too funny.” Madilyn comments with a fond smile. “They’re smart too.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything else from Emma.” Grant adds. “She was always getting the best grades in school. There’s no doubt in my mind she’s the smartest out of all of us.” 

The siblings agree to that by tipping their glasses forward. 

“I better get going too,” Madilyn adds as she pushes her chair out. She grabs her keys and finishes the rest of her lemonade before waving. 

“Bye!” 

“See ya!” 

A round of goodbyes sound off as Madilyn exits, letting the screen door fall shut behind her. 

“Consider me gone too.” Becca’s the next to finish off her drink, then grabs her purse off the floor. “I’ve got an early shift tomorrow. Tell Dad I said hi.” 

The brothers give their goodbyes as Becca turns and leaves. 

A few minutes of silence pass before Graham walks over to the fridge. 

“I’m grabbing a beer. Anyone else want one?”

“Yeah,” Grant raises his hand. 

Gary shakes his head no when Graham spares him a look, motioning to the lemonade he’s still nursing.

“Dad better make it back in time for the game,” Grant comments as Graham works on taking the caps off the beers. 

Graham sits down, setting the beer in front of Grant with a sigh. “Dad’s always late.” 

“Don’t let your father hear that.” Their mom warns as she comes back in and walks around the table. “You boys better keep it down tonight. You were far too loud last weekend and I did not appreciate it. I’m sure Gary didn’t either.” 

Gary puts his hands up in a gesture that says ‘keep me out of it.’

From there, his brothers dissolve into a steady conversation, ranging from their day out on the farm, to their girlfriends, and some of their friends that Gary hasn’t seen since high school. Every now and then their mom will throw her opinion into the mix, which either the boys will agree with or groan when they don’t agree. 

Fifteen or so minutes pass before Gary decides to call it a night. He gets up from the table, prepared to clean his own glass but his mom takes it from him with a knowing smirk. 

“Thanks, Mom.” Gary smiles back as he begins to retreat to the stairs. 

“Sleep well, honey.” She calls as Gary makes his way to his bedroom. 

“Night, Gar-Bear!” His brothers yell in unison, which causes Gary to laugh under his breath. 

He steps inside his bedroom, shutting the door behind him with a gentle click. It’s a relief to be in the solitude of his own room, though he does like his family's company and wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s still nice to be able to shed his clothes and pad his way over to the bathroom he’s lucky enough to have attached to his room. 

He flicks the bathroom light on, suddenly basked in a gentle yellow glow. He starts the shower, waiting the few minutes it takes for the water to get hot before jumping in. 

He’s quick under the spray of the water, washing himself and his hair, and wasting no time doing anything else. He grabs the towel, running it over himself lazily before hanging it back up. 

Gary’s alone, so he walks out of the bathroom and into his room stark naked. He dresses himself in a pair of boxers and an old t-shirt, then throws his covers up and tucks himself into bed. 

He wishes he could go to bed just as effortlessly, but he can’t have everything. 

Gary shifts, then twists his torso so he can stare out his window. The night sky is cloudy, with a few clouds passing in front of the moon every few minutes. Gary thinks about the 141, then he wonders what Ghost and Soap are up to right now. He hasn’t heard from them since they sent him on leave, which was over three weeks ago. 

He wonders if they’re out on a mission; maybe they’re knee deep in mud. Or maybe they’re on a plane. Or-

Gary grumbles as he scrunches his eyes closed and tries to will the thoughts away. He won’t get _any_ sleep if he allows his mind to wander any further. 

Gary stays like that for another ten minutes before he gives up. Sleep’s not coming for him any time soon. 

Just one sleepless night on top of many. 

-

Gary stirs awake the next morning, the smell of bacon already in the air. He’s groggy and his room is stuffy since he left the window closed overnight. 

Gary turns, narrowing his eyes as he tries to focus on the clock.

7:12AM.

He’ll be expected to be out on the orchard at eight, so Gary kicks the covers off and grabs a nearby pair of jeans. They’re worn in and the color has faded since they’ve been washed so many times, but they’re comfortable. 

Once Gary slides on a pair of socks and an old t-shirt he opens his bedroom door and heads downstairs. 

“Morning!” His mom says, not even turning around to look at him. It reminds him of when she used to tell him and his siblings that she had eyes in the back of her head. 

Gary grabs his boots off the mat and takes them over to the kitchen table. He sits down, eying the food that’s out already. 

“Morning,” Gary’s voice is still raspy from sleep. He is thirsty too so he grabs an empty glass and the pitcher of water his mom put out. 

“Morning!” Madilyn’s voice comes first, then the crack of the screen door. 

Gary gives a wave as he gulps down his water.

Madilyn walks around him, taking a seat on the opposite side of the table. 

“Good morning, my youngest child.” Their mom says, finally turning around to bring a plate piled high with scrambled eggs over to the table. 

“Dig in!” She adds, waving towards the whole set up. There are eggs, bacon, toast, and oatmeal for their father. 

Gary and Madilyn start to fill their plates. Madilyn goes heavy on the bacon while Gary actually avoids it. He goes for some eggs, toast, and some fresh fruit his mom cut up that morning. 

Their mom sits down next, filling her own plate only after her children have helped themselves. 

It’s a nice morning, with the sun shining in through the windows and turning the dust into sparkles. Their conversation is mundane, but Gary doesn’t mind. And after they’re done, Gary picks up the three plates they dirtied and starts to wash them in the sink. 

By the time he’s done, it’s 7:45AM.

“Ready?” Madilyn asks, standing up from her chair. 

Gary gives her a nod as he reaches out and grabs an apple off the table. He bites into it as he follows Madilyn out the door. 

“Love you!” Their mom yells behind them.

“Love you, too!” The siblings say in unison just as they hop off the porch and into the grass. 

The two split off once they reach the orchard and begin their own work. There’s a lot of heavy lifting, and the sun only grows hotter. 

It’s nearly noon when Gary spots his father for the first time. He waves at him, and his father returns the gesture with a warm smile before disappearing among the trees again. 

Finally, work ends three hours later. 

Gary breaks through the orchard to see his sister sitting on the porch with their father and mother in a set of rocking chairs behind her. 

“‘Bout time!” Gary’s father says boisterously. “Come and join us, Gary.” 

Gary laughs lightly as he pulls his gloves off and takes a seat on the edge of the porch. 

“Feels good to be out there working, huh?” Gary’s father starts, rocking back and forth. “Nothing gives me more joy than this.”

Gary’s mom turns to look at him, her brow lifted expectantly. 

“Other than your mother, of course.” Gary’s father adds on, to which their mother nods proudly. 

Madilyn and Gary, on the other hand, can’t hold back their laughter. 

“Gary, I’m going out tonight. You should come with.” Madilyn crosses one ankle over the other.

Gary scrunches his mouth to one side as he looks over at Madilyn. “Not really my thing.” 

“I think it’d be good for you, Gary!” His dad adds loudly. His voice is always a notch or two louder than everyone else. 

“Yeah, you might meet a pretty lady.” His mom singsongs. 

It’s all Gary can do not to roll his eyes and groan in annoyance. 

“I told you and Emma to stop worrying about my lovelife.” Gary peeks over his shoulder at his mom. “Besides. I don’t want anyone left waiting for me when I leave.”

The family grows quiet at that, everyone thinking about the absence Gary will leave once he’s gone again. 

And Gary feels like shit for bringing it up. But part of him hopes the reminder will help. He doesn’t want them clinging to some hope that he’ll stick around. 

The 141 needs him. 

“Okay, fine. How about just a nice, quiet dinner out. You, me, and any of our other siblings that can swing it.” Madilyn breaks the silence and Gary is grateful.

In an attempt to make his mother and father happy, Gary gives her a nod. “Alright. I can agree to that.” 

Behind him, his mother and father share a smile. 

-

Turns out Madilyn had no intention of having a nice, quiet dinner. She stuck with her original plans of ‘going out.’ Which means she pulls up to one of the bars that are on the outskirts of town, with nothing but cornfields around it for miles. 

“You have to be shitting me.” Gary grumbles as Madilyn parks the car. He can see the neon Bud Light sign flashing from here. 

“Honestly, it’s your fault I have to kidnap you for a night of fun. Just humor me. I’ll buy the beer, introduce you to a few people. Then we can sit down in a corner and ignore the rest of the world.”

Gary glares at her for a while longer but his sister doesn’t crack. He sighs as he grabs the door handle and pushes it open. 

Behind him, Madilyn gives a small cheer. 

-

Gary’s face is flushed from the day he spent out in the sun and the four beers he’s had since Madilyn dragged him to the damn bar. He wouldn’t have came if he had known, but Madilyn was too sneaky and Gary had been too unsuspecting. 

All in all, he does have to give her credit. He’s been having an alright time. He’s met some new people, chuckled at the jokesters playing pool, and he knew the bartender from high school so they were able to catch up. 

It all felt too normal, but Gary couldn’t find himself to care. Tonight’s one of the first nights that Gary hasn’t felt the uncomfortable notion that he doesn’t belong here. 

Madilyn was able to convince the others to come out, and soon Grant and Becca walked through the door, followed lastly by Graham, who showed up with a tanned blonde hanging off the end of his arm. 

They chatted and had a few more beers. Becca complained about her day and Gary listened, grateful that he was _able_ to. Grant, Graham, and Madilyn took control of the pool table and were already placing their bets, so Becca and Gary grabbed the open table closest to them and watched on. Becca decided to cheer for Grant, Gary was cheering for Madilyn, and Graham stood off to the side with his girlfriend he introduced as Cherry, whispering things back and forth. 

The game is nearly over, and Madilyn’s winning. Becca already ordered a round of celebratory shots, which only Gary and Becca partook in. Though, Gary did promise to buy another round when someone actually won the game.

Gary feels so elated that he doesn’t even realize his phone is buzzing on the table. 

“Gary, your phone is ringing!” Becca calls over the music. 

Gary glimpses over, a smile still ghosting on his lips when she points down to his device. He sees an unknown number, which causes his smile to fall and his heart to skip a beat. 

He picks it up speedily, pressing one finger to his other ear so he can hear better. 

“Hello?” 

_“Roach. It’s Ghost.”_

Gary’s eyes flit up, realizing that all of his siblings, with the exception of Graham, are looking at him. Graham’s a bit distracted, so Gary understands.

“One second.” Gary says, sliding off the stool. He covers the phone with one hand as he turns back to his siblings. “Important! Have to take this!” 

“Gar-bear!” Grant shouts over the music, arms wide as Gary makes an escape. Much to Gary’s dismay, Becca and Madilyn join in on the teasing up until Gary’s out of earshot. 

Gary breaks through the doors and then keeps walking until he’s back at their parked car. This is the most privacy he can find, since everyone is inside, too busy drinking. He lets out a sigh, pressing his backside to the car. 

_“Gar-bear, huh?”_ Ghost is the first to break the silence, his voice soft and amused. 

Gary sighs, head falling back to rest on the car as well. “Yeah,” Gary concedes. “I’m kind of…” he trails off, trying to think through his next few words. “My siblings tricked me into coming to the bar. And, uh… if you can’t fight ‘em, join ‘em.” 

Ghost’s deep laugh sounds through the phone and all Gary can do is close his eyes and soak it in. It’s been too long since he’s heard that laugh. Nearly a month. The realization causes Gary’s chest to grow tight. 

_“I’m checking in on everyone,”_ Ghost explains, shuffling through something on his end. _“How are things?”_

Gary opens his mouth, prepared to answer too honestly. He wants to say it sucks. He misses the missions. He misses the guys. He misses Ghost. He’s been doing so much damn _missing_ lately and he’s sick of it. He wants to ask Ghost why the hell he wasn’t able to stay with him and Soap. Why did they have to send him off too?

“Things are…” Gary tries but sighs. “Drunk.” 

There’s a pause on the other end of the line, then a soft laugh.

“If I’m not careful,” Gary swallows, “I’m going to say things I shouldn’t.” 

_“Sounds like I caught you at the right time then, mate.”_

“I don’t drink,” Gary continues on.

_“I know.”_

“Becca had me taking shots. I haven’t had shots since I became legal.” Gary waves a hand in the air to display the absurdity of the situation. “And there were beers before that. I don’t even like beer.” Gary scoffs at that. 

_“I know.”_

“The only reason I’m here is because I wanted to make my parents happy. And Madilyn tricked me. We were supposed to get dinner. Not come to this bar. Which, by the way, is as hick as you can imagine. I’m literally surrounded by fields and fields of corn. 

"Oh, and Emma keeps trying to hook me up with the women she works with because for some reason she thinks I should settle down and start a family. Has she tried setting up my other two brothers? No. So I think she thinks she’s helping but she’s not. And my mom’s in on it too. She always drops hints about the ladies Emma works with. No matter how many times I tell her that I’m not interested.” 

There’s a hum from Ghost. _“You seem to be putting up a helluva fight. Who wouldn’t want a pretty lady on their arm?”_

“Me!” Gary exclaims. “Me.” 

There’s a pause as Gary tries to figure out if he just came out to his superior officer or not. Then again, Gary’s not sure if he can come out if he doesn’t even understand his own sexuality. He never did have a large sex drive, and he found deeper connections more appealing, and often any sexual desires he discovered were results of those deeper connections.

Gary decides to glide over that, mostly because his thoughts are racing just as fast as his mouth is moving. 

“My mom also looks at me like I’m a ticking time bomb. My dad doesn’t know what to say around me so he usually doesn’t say anything at all. It’s like I’m that piece of furniture that someone decided to move two inches to the left. I’m out of place.”

Gary sighs again, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead. He’s not surprised to find his skin hot to the touch. 

_“I’m going to give you some advice, Roach.”_ Ghost begins. There’s some more shuffling, which has Gary’s eyes narrowing. 

“Are you in bed right now?” Gary suggests, his voice rising in surprise. 

_“I might be. Listen to me, Roach.”_

“Yes, sir.” 

There’s a pause before Ghost continues. _“You need to not take this time for granted. Drink. Have some fun with your family. Tell them what you can so they understand. But most importantly, you need to stop overthinking. I know how you get. This is a mandatory vacation, so make use of it before you’re back here and I’m making you do push ups.”_

Gary’s sighing again, and even kicks the heel of his boot into the dirt petulantly. “Yes, sir.” 

_“I’ll call you again soon. Be safe tonight.”_

“Yes, sir.” Gary can’t control the disappointment that leeches into his voice. He’d much rather talk to Ghost than go back into that bar, but there’s a click on the other line and the call ends. 

Gary grumbles as he tilts his head back and looks up at the night sky with a scowl. 

“Damn it.” Gary curses, rolling his eyes at the stars. He can’t believe he’s able to be so bitter when the stars are gorgeous, and the weather is warm, and Gary’s actually having a good time. 

He can’t help but think he’d be having a better time if Ghost were here. 

Gary takes a few more minutes to himself before he pushes off the car and heads back inside. His mood has decreased significantly. He’s only annoyed by the loud music and the loud conversation, and he can tell Becca picks up on it as Gary takes his seat across from her. 

“Everything okay?” She leans across the table so Gary can hear her better. Her eyes are soft, and Gary knows she’s not trying to be intrusive. 

“Yeah, just…” Gary trails off as he tries to think of something to say. “Just an update from work.”

Becca purses her lips together in a sympathetic smile, reaching out to lay a hand on Gary’s forearm. 

“I’m really glad you’re here.” Becca tells him, her hazel eyes holding his. “I’ve missed you so much.” 

The corner of Gary’s mouth quirks up as he huffs out a kind laugh. “You’re just being nice because you want me to buy the next round.” He jokes.

Becca snorts at that but leans back in her chair, releasing his arm. “That might be true!” 

Gary shakes his head as he grabs his beer, finding it much lighter than when he left. He catches Becca’s eye, and she holds her hands up innocently. 

“It was Madilyn!” Becca explains quickly. 

“Hey!” Madilyn says from the pool table, where they’ve already reset and are beginning another game. “You weren’t supposed to rat me out!” 

The siblings break into a mock argument about Becca always being the tattletail while Gary watches on fondly.

He’ll take Ghost’s advice, and follow it as best he can.

-

Three days later, Gary and Madilyn are sent on an early morning mission by their father to get a set of new tools from the local hardware store. Local usually means that it's close, but it’s forty-five minutes away from the farm, so they grab the keys to the old truck and hop in. 

Madilyn, despite her height, hoists herself into the truck and smirks once she’s behind the wheel. 

Gary yawns as he shuts the door behind him and lazily pulls his seatbelt over himself. 

“I think we should grab some coffee once we’re in town too.” Madilyn suggests as she starts the engine and pulls the gear shift into drive. 

“I won’t argue.” Gary adds as he settles back into the bench seat. 

A good five minutes of the drive is just getting out of the farm, taking it slow down the dirt path that causes the truck to bounce. Madilyn can’t help but laugh at Gary when he lets out a groan. 

“I can see the paved road,” Madilyn says through a smile. 

“Thank goodness,” Gary jokes, already rolling down his window. The morning heat is too much for the small truck. 

As promised, Madilyn gets them on the paved road a minute later. She takes a left, headed straight for town. 

The siblings enjoy the first few minutes in silence. Madilyn rolls her window down too, then lays one arm out into the breeze and drives with the other. The sun is cast in her eyes, despite her putting the visor down. She’s just too short. 

Gary leans forward, opening up the glove box and finding the old pair of sunglasses their father always keeps handy. He unfolds them and then hands them to Madilyn. 

“Thanks,” she says, sliding them on to her face. She then wears a goofy grin as she turns to Gary to show him the glasses. “How do I look?” 

Gary laughs at the sight. The glasses are a bit too big for her face, and they’re crooked since they’re father has bent them for his head. 

“Like Dad.” Gary teases, which Madilyn rolls her eyes at. 

Another minute of silence passes with Madilyn tapping her thumb on the wheel. She’s starting to make Gary think she’s nervous, but he can’t imagine what for. 

“Gary. I’m gay.” 

Oh. 

Gary’s brows shoot up to his hairline and his head twists in Madilyn’s direction. She glances at him with a frown on her face, then sighs as she turns back to the road. 

“You’re the only one I could bring myself to tell.” Madilyn exhales, now keeping her eyes resolutely forward. 

“Thank you.” Gary’s earnest as he says this, offering a crooked smile when Madilyn glimpses over to him. “For telling me.” 

Madilyn gives a small nod to her head, then turns back to the road with her shoulders more relaxed. She basks in Gary’s acceptance for a second, before continuing.

“In high school I tried dating guys but it just never felt right. They were always just friends to me.” 

Gary nods, making sure to listen. Madilyn needs this. Needs him.

“I’m still friends with almost every guy I dated in high school. Now, there were only, like, four. But you know what I mean.” 

Gary huffs out a laugh but nods again. 

“It was two-years ago, when I turned twenty-two. I was out of town, at a bar, and I met someone.” Madilyn scrunches her mouth to one side. “I’ve been dating someone for two years and no one in our family knows.”

Gary blinks again, then schools his features into understanding rather than surprised. His sister catches all of this, which she laughs lightly to.

“What’s her name?” Gary inquires, his tone soft as he glimpses at Madilyn. 

She smirks at that, and Gary can tell she’s thinking of her. Gary has no explanation as to why, but Ghost pops into his head before he forces that away. 

“Jasmine.” Madilyn responds, taking in a deep calming breath. She exhales and says her name again. “Jasmine.”

“I like that!” Gary praises, turning his head to look out the window at the rolling fields. 

Madilyn’s grin only blossoms further as she turns to look at her brother. He turns back, catching her eye and giving her a matching smile.

“Thank you, Gary.”

“What are you thanking _me_ for?” He teases, trying his best to look perplexed. “You told me about one of the most important people in your life before you told anyone else. I’m honored. And I hope to meet Jasmine before I leave.” 

Madilyn turns back to the road, happiness shining stronger than the warm sun on her face. 

-

Gary lifts his armful of shovels and deposits them in the bed of the truck. On the opposite side, Madilyn’s placing two hoes in the back. They’ve got everything else loaded up, which consists of four extra bags of soil for their mom’s garden and five sets of new gloves. 

“Let’s get going!” Madilyn waggles her brows at Gary as she smacks her hands against the body of the truck. 

“Keys,” Gary demands, reaching out with a grabby hand. “I need to drive. It’s been too long.” 

Madilyn reaches and pulls the set out of the front pocket on her overalls. She tosses them over, and Gary catches them effortlessly. Now he’s the one that waggles his brows at her as they pass at the backside of the truck. 

“Let’s get going!’ Gary echoes as he hops into the truck.

“Let’s!” Madilyn agrees, reaching for the to-go cup of coffee they picked up before heading to the hardware store. 

Gary starts the truck, pulling out onto the main road. The town is small, and all centered around one main street, so they pass the other stores as they drive back to the farm. 

They’re about five minutes out of town when Madilyn speaks up. 

“So, you said you wanted to meet Jasmine before you leave…” She trails off, resting her head on the bench seat as she watches Gary. “When exactly will that be?” 

Gary smirks as he glimpses at his sister. “What? Are you eager to get rid of me?” 

“What? No!” Madilyn reaches out and slaps Gary’s upper arm at the question. “I just want to… y’know. Prepare myself.” 

That hurts. Gary sighs, glimpsing off to the side. 

“I don’t really know.” Gary admits. “I’m kind of… on call, I guess you could say.” 

“So that’s who you’re getting calls from now?” Madilyn smirks as she goes for another jab. “I was thinking that phone was going to be a waste.” 

Gary rolls his eyes. “Ha-ha. You’re funny.” He shifts in his seat. “But yes, it’s my lieutenant. He’s keeping me updated, and checking in on the rest of us.” 

Madilyn’s taking Gary’s roll, nodding as she tries to understand. “Please tell me you have friends.” 

Gary huffs out a laugh at his sister’s antics. “Yes, Madilyn. I have friends.”

“Okay…” Madilyn stretches the word out, patting her knee with one hand. She pauses, then shoots for another question. “Can you tell me more about your friends?”

“I talk mostly with my captain and lieutenant.” Gary offers. “We don’t really have time to ‘hang out’ though.” Gary puts air quotes around his words. “We’re usually… too busy.”

Madilyn hums. “Right. Saving the world.” 

“You said it, not me.”

Madilyn laughs at that, head falling back against the bench seat. 

They grow silent again, but Gary feels completely at ease. The music from the radio plays softly, and the wind passes through his window to keep him cool. Gary stretches one hand out into the wind, just to feel it.

Another minute passes before Madilyn adds on, “You’re not free of my questions, Gary. I might ask more later.” 

Gary laughs, tilting his head back against the headrest. “Sure thing, Mads.” 

-

They make it home, unload the haul, place everything according to their father’s preference, and call it a day.

  
  
Their mom makes a roast for dinner, complete with veggies and mashed potatoes. They nearly finish the whole dinner before Madilyn calls it quits, wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand, and her cheeks still full of dinner.

  
  
“I can’t eat anymore,” she comments, which makes her mom sigh.

  
  
“Madilyn, chew your food please.”

  
  
Gary snorts as he finishes chewing his own bite.

  
  
They say goodbye to Madilyn, Gary turns down the offer to watch the latest game with his parents, and heads upstairs for a shower. 


	2. Similar Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm posting this chapter quite soon after the first chapter. Some updates won't always be this fast! Thanks for reading :)

A few days pass, which marks it a week since Madilyn came out to Gary. He can already tell how much lighter his sister carries herself, how much more she smiles now that the weight of her secret has lessened. It’s as if some of the burden has been lifted now that Gary knows. 

He’s glad. And there’s part of him that feels rather guilty that he hadn’t noticed the weight she was carrying much sooner. 

They head inside for dinner; their parents, Gary, and Madilyn all centered around the feast that their mother prepared. They take their time eating, allowing the sun to fall and the sky to grow dark. They sit in the warm yellow light of the kitchen, beers open on the table and sweating from the humid climate. 

It grows so late that Madilyn decides she’ll stay the night.

  
  
Gary’s parents promise to clean up, despite their children heavily insisting on helping. Gary’s mom ends up laughing as she slaps their hands away from the dirty dishes. 

“Go sleep.” She says as she shoves her children gently out of the kitchen. “It is a Friday night and you both have worked all day. I can handle this.” 

They say their goodnight's and “I love you’s” before walking up the stairs together, bumping their elbows teasingly together. 

“Let’s have a sleepover,” Madilyn says as they come to stop outside their childhood bedrooms. “I’ll come stay in your room - or we can stay in mine. It doesn’t matter. We can just talk. Like we used to.” 

Gary grins at that, nodding. “Very well, _little sister_. Go get your pajamas on. Sleepover starts at nine o’clock sharp.”

“Yes, sir!” Madilyn jokes as she bounces into her room and shuts the door softly behind her. 

Gary shakes his head as he enters his bedroom, leaving the door cracked. He shucks off his pants, gets in a pair of plaid pajama bottoms, and changes into a worn sleep shirt - with the front logo worn down past the point of recognition. 

Madilyn pushes her way into his room, wearing a giant long-sleeve shirt with a pair of sleep shorts underneath. She’s got her phone, and phone charger, already plugging it in next to the bed. 

“I already told Jasmine goodnight, so you’ve got all of my attention.” Madilyn grins as she sits the phone on the bedside table and turns to her brother. 

“Good,” Gary bites out teasingly, watching as Madilyn rolls her eyes. “Get in bed, loser. We have tomorrow off. What should we do?” 

Madilyn crawls over to the other side that’s pushed up against the wall, shrugging as she slides under the covers. Gary’s getting in after her, pulling the covers so it’s up to their shoulders. 

“Maybe we could…” Madilyn trails off as she thinks. “I could always take you to meet Jasmine. If you’re ready for that.” Madilyn turns to look at Gary with nothing but curiosity in her eyes. No pressure on Gary. Just a simple suggestion. 

Gary nods, “We could do that. I’d like that.”

A slow smile crawls onto Madilyn’s face. “Me too.” 

They talk for over an hour. What it’s like to be back home, how Gary’s acclimating. He quickly turns the attention back on Madilyn; so she gladly tells him how she met Jasmine, how it’s been since he’s been gone… how she was worried that when he came back he wouldn’t be the same Gary that left. 

Gary opens his mouth, a retort and a promise hanging on the edge of his tongue when his phone buzzes on the bedside table.

“One sec,” Gary turns onto his side, swiping up the phone and laying down on his back again. 

Madilyn watches the screen. An unknown number. 

“It’s work,” Gary says, glimpsing at her curiously. 

Madilyn smiles, turning on her side so she can face him. “Answer it.” 

Gary swipes the green phone, and presses the device to his ear. 

“Hello?” 

_“Roach. You’re awake.”_

Gary laughs as he pulls the covers closer to his neck. He can feel his sister’s eyes on him, but it’s easy to ignore when he has Ghost’s voice in his ear. 

“It’s barely ten o’clock.” Gary retorts. 

There’s a smile in Ghost’s voice as he says, _“As long as I’m not disrupting your slumber, princess. I'm headed out for a run, so had some time to call.”_

Gary rolls his eyes, scoffing. 

“Gh-” he starts, and then freezes, “Lieu-” he pauses again. “Simon.” 

There’s laughter on the other end of the line immediately, low and rich. _“Simon, ay? Who do you have around you, bug?”_

Gary’s head turns to meet his sister’s curious, mirthful eyes. Gary rolls his eyes as he answers. “My little sister is listening to every word.”

Ghost laughs again, but Madilyn’s already perking up on her forearms as she says, “Tell him I said hi!” 

Gary snorts as he says, “She says hi.” 

_“Aren’t you two cute?”_ Ghost’s smirk is laced with his tone. _“Which one is this?”_

“Madilyn,” Gary answers, watching as his sister lifts her eyebrows in excitement. 

_“Hello, Madilyn.”_

Gary pulls back the phone, smiling as he says, “He says hello.” 

Madilyn scoots an inch closer as she whispers, “Is he one of your friends?” 

_“Yeah, Roach. Am I?”_

Gary rolls his eyes, his smile fond as he says, “You two are very annoying.” 

Ghost’s laughter mixes with Madilyn’s, and Gary feels content. His chest warm. He suddenly wishes Ghost was here with him. Here with his family. It would feel so right to have Ghost here… He would fit in so incredibly well with his family. And Gary would feel much more comfortable with Ghost at his side…

“Put it on speaker,” Madilyn whispers next. “Can I talk to him? I want to meet one of my brother’s friends.”

  
  
“No, you can’t speak to him,” Gary shakes his head fondly at his sister’s request. 

_“Don’t want to introduce me to the family, dear?”_

Gary groans, “Be quiet, _Simon_.” 

_“I’ll make sure to have you do some push-ups for that one,”_ Ghost retorts easily. 

Madilyn moves in closer, trying to hear Ghost’s voice, but Gary only retreats. He scoots back, glaring at Madilyn the closer she gets. Finally he fights back by putting his palm flat on her face and attempting to push her back. 

Gary gasps when Madilyn opens her mouth, turning her head in an attempt to bite his hand. 

Gary ends up dropping the phone, and it falls just behind his shoulder. 

“Madilyn, do _not_ bite me,” Gary holds back his laughter while trying his hardest to keep his voice down. His parents are probably in bed at this point, and the last thing they want to do is wake them up. 

_“Your sister sounds like a charming spitfire,”_ Ghost’s voice suddenly comes through the device, making Gary gasp again. He must have accidentally turned the speaker on when he dropped the phone. 

Gary spins, reaching for his phone and scrambling in the meantime. His fingers finally graze against the device, but the screen is locked and his fingers are pressing too many buttons at once. 

“Simon, call me again tomorrow, okay?” Gary says breathlessly as he tries to unlock his phone. “Having… phone problems.” 

_“Sure thing. Sleep well, princess.”_

Gary feels his cheeks turn red, huffing out a laugh at his lieutenant's term of endearment. “Enjoy your run, _Simon_. Now hang up on me. I locked myself out of my phone.” 

Ghost laughs again and Gary can’t help but smile at the sound. 

_“Yes, love. Whatever you say, love.”_

Gary rolls his eyes as he purposefully ignores Madilyn’s prying eyes. He places a hand over his eyes as he firmly replies, “Goodnight, Simon.” 

Ghost’s voice is much softer, suaver, as he says, _“Goodnight, Gary. Tell Madilyn I said goodnight.”_

Gary turns to give Madilyn a warning glare - not to say a word. So Madilyn purses her smiling lips together and stays quiet. 

“I will. Bye.” 

_“Bye.”_

Madilyn squeals the second the call ends, moving forward to hide her face in her brother’s arm. She comes out just for a second to stare at Gary with wide eyes and an open-mouthed smile. Then she’s squealing again and squeezing his arm.

“What?” Gary laughs, shaking his head at Madilyn’s minor breakdown. 

“ _Love?! Princess?!_ ” She stresses, giving Gary a look as if it should be obvious. 

Gary’s not putting the pieces together, so he shrugs while watching her with a confused yet fond smile. “That’s just how he is.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Madilyn scoffs. “Because I call all my friends princess in a tone so sweet it could catch flies.”

Gary’s laughing again as Madilyn settles back into the bed, her eyes wide with amazement.

“What are you trying to say?” Gary asks, watching her carefully. “You think I’ve got myself a little boyfriend back at work?”

Madilyn shrugs with a sly smirk. “I always wondered where you were _getting it_.” 

Gary snorts but brings his hands to cover his face. “Madilyn, please stop. I’m telling Simon.”

“Oh, yeah,” Madilyn wiggles her brows as she lets her eyes flutter shut. She’s starting to look sleepier as the seconds pass. “Have him defend your honor. He seems like the real protective type.” 

Gary hates how his cheeks flush red at Madilyn’s innocent assumption. It’s that simple word. Protective. It launches Gary’s mind into too many memories of how Ghost has taken care of him… has watched his back and has saved Gary’s ass way too many times to count. 

Gary rolls his eyes, hearing his sister snicker in victory. 

“Go to sleep, Madilyn.” 

“I will listen just this once. But now you know I’m even more curious about your _“friends”_ right?”

“I’m sure you are,” Gary retorts as he pulls the covers up and closes his eyes. “Suppose you’ll just have to keep being curious then.” 

Madilyn snorts but with shake of her head. She closes her eyes and minutes of silence pass. Gary’s almost drifted off to sleep, and thought Madilyn has by this point… but her voice brings him back from slumber. 

“He didn’t know my name…” Madilyn thinks aloud. “Do you not tell him about us?” 

“Of course I have,” Gary assures, sounding offended that Madilyn would think that. “He knows I’ve got two brothers and three sisters. He knows we live on an orchard. He knows… a lot about me and my family. Names are just…” Gary takes in a breath, then exhales as he searches for words. “We don’t even really call each other by our names.”

Madilyn hums, then turns her head in Gary’s direction innocently. “Is that why you kept saying his name all weird?” 

Gary’s frame shakes with a chuckle. “We’ve all got nicknames, I guess. It becomes more of a name than our actual names.” 

Madilyn hums again. “That's why you didn’t know what to call him when you picked up?” 

Gary turns to Madilyn, nodding. 

“So what’s your nickname?” 

Gary smirks, closing his eyes. “I can’t tell you that.” 

“Oh, come on!” 

Gary laughs but shushes his sister as best he can. 

“Maybe one day,” Gary tells her. “But for now be quiet before you wake Mom and Dad.” 

“I swear if you don’t tell me your cute little code names one of these days I’m going to be _very_ upset.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Gary waves her off, closing his eyes again. “Now sleep.” 

Silence falls again. Only to be interrupted a few minutes later.

“Can I get a nickname?”

Gary shakes again as he chuckles, but groans. “Madilyn. Sleep.” 

“Alright, alright.” Madilyn shifts until she’s comfortable. And of course has to get the last word in. “Loser.” 

Another huff of laughter escapes Gary’s nose, but this time the silence doesn’t get interrupted. He can tell from Madilyn’s even breathing that she falls asleep shortly after her rebuttal. So Gary takes in a few calming breaths and allows himself to drift off as well.

-

Saturday morning comes and Gary’s awake as the sun begins to rise. Madilyn, on the other hand, snores deeply into the pillow, lips parted, hair a mess and all ratty from turning and tossing in her sleep. It makes Gary smile as he’s struck with the sudden thought that he wants to keep this memory. He grabs his phone, snapping a quick picture before he locks the device and puts it back on the bedside table. 

Gary comes downstairs in his pjs, running a hand through his sandy hair. When his feet touch the ground floor, Gary hears some commotion from the kitchen. He pads his way in, watching his mom holding the fridge door open as his dad throws a few things in a cooler. 

“Going on a trip?” Gary asks, causing both of his parents to look over at him in surprise. 

His mother laughs, placing a hand over her heart. “We didn’t even hear you come down!” She says, then scrunches her mouth faux-sternly and says, “You can’t sneak up on old people like that, mister.”

Gary shakes his head with a smirk, giving his apology. “Won’t happen again, ma’am.”

  
  
“How’d we get so lucky to have such a polite kid?” His father asks the rhetorical question, glimpsing up at his wife to share a wink. 

“We sure are lucky,” she says, sharing a fond look with her husband. She then turns to her son to answer his question. 

“Your father and I are going up to the cabin. No one’s been up there in quite some time and we’d like to start repairing it. Who knows? Maybe we’ll retire there one day and leave you and Madilyn the farm.” His mother gives Gary a pointed look, as if that’s the truth and not a minor suggestion. 

“It would be a gorgeous place to retire,” Gary agrees.

He can tell his mother is pleased that Gary didn’t reject the idea of taking the farm. 

“You got any plans for the weekend, kid?” His father asks as he shuts the color, and starts to clamber to his feet. Gary’s mother helps but hooking a hand under his father’s arm. Gary has the same sinking feeling now as he did when he came home. They really are getting older…

Gary walks around the table, reaching down and picking up the cooler wordlessly. He brings it to the table and sets it down, gaining a pat on the shoulder from his thankful father. 

“Madilyn said something about taking me to the city,” Gary suggests. “Meet… some of her friends.” He gives a tight smile, realizing how annoying it must be for Madilyn to tell these little lies. 

“That’s a great idea!” Gary’s mother exclaims, her hands clapped together hopefully. “I’m so glad. I hope you both have fun.”

  
  
Gary smiles as she gives him a kiss on the cheek. “Madilyn won’t allow anything to happen if it isn’t fun.”

  
  
Gary’s mom huffs out a laugh, giving him a pointed look. “Which brings me to my next point. Please look after her! Be a good big brother.”

  
  
“Of course,” Gary agrees, and sees the happiness mix with the sadness in his mother’s hazel eyes. She clearly misses having Gary around, and misses these moments with her son. He hates that he can’t change that. He made his choice when he enlisted. 

Gary looks around the room, finding their luggage by the front door. “I’ll load you guys up, okay?” He says as he takes the cooler off the table.

“Thanks, Gar.” His father huffs out as he plops down in one of the kitchen chairs. He takes his ballcap off with a huff, revealing a balding head with sunspots. He wipes at his forehead with the back of his hand. “I’m not as tough as I once was.”

  
  
Gary laughs at that as he heads to the door. “Dad, everyone around here knows you’re the toughest out of us all. Who else could raise six bonehead kids except mom?”

  
  
Gary’s dad looks proud of that, Gary sees his smile as he slips out the front door, letting the screen door crack behind him. 

He gets all of his parents’ luggage in the truck in under ten minutes, coming back inside to see the pair enjoying some hot coffee. 

“All set to go,” Gary says, brushing his hands off on his pajamas. 

Gary’s mom gathers her both of their mugs, dumping them out in the sink and letting them sit. Gary’s father stands from his chair, and the two come around to meet at the end of the table. He places his hat back on top of his head, and offers his arm to his wife with a charming smile. 

They walk to Gary’s side, where he gets another kiss on the cheek from his mom.

“That one was for Madilyn. Tell her we love her. And we love you too,” Gary’s mom smiles as she pinches his cheek.

“Alright, dear, stop embarrassing my boy.” Gary’s dad gives him a wink as if to say ‘ _I’ve got your back’_. 

Gary holds the door open for them, walking out onto the porch to watch them drive away. Gary’s dad helps his mother into the truck before he walks around to the driver’s side. 

Gary makes sure to get a jest in as he says, “Drive safe, you crazy kids.”

Gary’s father gives him a thumbs up as he stands onto the lift of his truck. He points at Gary. “That goes for you and your sister too. Don’t make your mother and I worry. Got it?” 

“Got it.” Gary returns, amused with his father’s attempt at talking stern. 

“Good,” his father pats the top of the truck. “See you on Monday, Gary.”

Gary stands and waves, listening to the truck roar to life. Seconds later, the windows are being rolled down, and both of his parents stick their arms out to wave. They drive off, kicking up the gravel in their wake, leaving clouds of dust to shine in the morning sunlight. 

Gary pads back inside, heating up the stove top to fry up some eggs and bread. Madilyn makes her way downstairs just as the food is done, looking like she’s still half asleep. She plops down in one of the kitchen chairs, much like their father had, so Gary sets a plate in front of her, a fork, and piles some eggs and toast on her plate. 

She’s awake enough that she says thank you, but then spears her toast with a fork and chews at the corner of it. 

Gary stares at his odd sister before he shakes his head fondly and makes his own plate. He returns to the table with two glasses of apple juice and his own breakfast. They eat in silence, until Madilyn becomes more awake. 

Her food is done and Gary’s plate is mostly finished when he pushes it away. 

“Ready to meet the love of my life today?” Madilyn asks as she picks up their plates and carries them to the sink. She starts to rinse them down, looking over her shoulder at Gary. 

Gary grimaces, stretching his arms above his head. “I’m nervous that you’re making me the introduction to our family. You’ll have to let her know that the crazy skipped you and me."

Madilyn laughs as she gets the sponge soapy and begins to clean up. 

“Don’t worry, Jasmine knows you’re my favorite.” 

Gary gasps as he stands, moving to the other side of the sink to rinse and place the dishes on the drying rack. 

“You can’t say those things,” Gary warns through a smile. 

“Fine, it never happened,” Madilyn teases as she places the next dish on Gary’s side. She lifts a soapy hand to mime zipping her lips shut, and Gary just laughs. 

The two finish cleaning up, and then race back upstairs to their respective rooms to see who can take the quicker shower. Gary wins, of course, but Madilyn’s just seconds behind as she jogs down the stairs - looking hopeful - until she sees Gary fully dressed and sitting on the couch. 

He’s even got a bag packed already. 

Madilyn points at him with a frown. “Unfair. Military advantage. I’m sure they make you do this stuff all the time. I was set up to lose.” 

Gary’s head falls back as he laughs. “It was _your_ idea to race!” 

“Fair.” Madilyn holds her hands up. “I set myself up. Let’s get going. I have to pick some things up from my place before we head over.” 

It’s barely noon when Madilyn and Gary make it to Madilyn’s apartment. Gary has already been here a handful of times. It’s fun to stay with Madilyn every now and then, especially when Mom and Dad start hovering a little too much. 

Madilyn tells Gary to “wait here” so he stays seated in the passenger side of her gray Honda, watching as she jogs up the stairs and disappears inside. 

Gary gets himself lost in studying the surroundings; the old wood at the bottom corner of Madilyn’s apartment complex, the cracked sidewalk with weeds growing in between, the overcast sky, and the breeze that turns the leaves inside out. Gary thinks it’ll rain later… judging by the signs nature is providing him. 

Madilyn still isn’t back, so Gary’s eyes fall to his backpack. His phone is in there. The phone that only Ghost calls him on. Not his brothers or his sisters. And definitely not his parents. Gary starts to think that maybe he got this phone only for Ghost… 

Madilyn’s car door opens, so Gary turns to watch as she puts a few things in the backseat. 

She shuts the back door, and then comes around and plops herself down in the driver’s seat. She put her hair up into a ponytail at some point and has put a necklace on as well. 

She smiles at Gary toothily, hands on the wheel.

“Ready?!” She asks loudly. 

“Ready!!” Gary returns just as loudly, and the two laugh. 

Madilyn gets them on the road, and Gary watches the exit signs pass… wondering why he almost feels envious. He wishes he had someone he could introduce Madilyn too. Maybe Ghost… one day. Or Soap… It doesn’t seem possible though. So Gary watches the exit signs pass, and dreams about what it’d be like having Madilyn meet someone he spends his whole life with. 

Gary guesses he and Madilyn aren’t that different after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Busy Bug

Gary meets Jasmine and he’s immediately taking her under his big brother wing. Jasmine is a sweetheart and Gary’s so charmed by her, and Madilyn can’t stop _smiling_ that her big brother and girlfriend get along so well. 

Jasmine greeted them at her third floor apartment, waiting on the street side in a pair of jean shorts and a flowy blouse. She’s dark skinned, with her hair in two braids, and a _blinding_ smile. She’s a hugger, which Gary wouldn’t classify himself as one but definitely isn’t opposed to a good squeezing hug every now and then. 

Madilyn gets her backpack and Gary gets his, watching as his sister meets Jasmine on the sidewalk and gives her a peck. 

“Missed you,” Madilyn says softly, and Jasmine brushes a lock of hair that fell out of Madilyn’s ponytail behind her ear. 

Jasmine accepts the peck, but then laughs as she pats Madilyn’s shoulder as if she’s scolding her. “Stop with the PDA in front of your brother. I don’t want him to get sick of us.”

Madilyn looks at Gary before she turns back to Jasmine and says, “He hasn’t seen me in over five years. He can handle me being annoying with my girlfriend.” 

“Ouch,” Gary says with a smirk. 

Madilyn softens the blow with a smile and a pat to Gary’s arm. The two follow Jasmine up three flights of stairs, neither looking put out from the exercise. Madilyn’s used to making the trip and Gary… well, he’s used to a lot worse.

Jasmine offers to make them drinks. Gary asks for a water, and Jasmine laughs as she fills a glass with ice. She gets Gary his water, and then starts mixing drinks for herself and Madilyn.

Jasmine’s funny, and the way she riles up Madilyn is even funnier. She and Gary hit it off, and Madilyn’s happy to see how easily the two get along and are already teasing one another. It makes Madilyn hopeful… Gary can tell by the glint in her eye. Hopefully she’ll realize she can tell the rest of her family. When she’s ready of course…

Madilyn takes Gary around the apartment when Jasmine suggests she give him a tour. Madilyn tries to get Jasmine to do the tour, but Jasmine says she still has to get ready before they head to the club. The club that Jasmine has been giving nothing but praise since Gary showed up. 

“Okay,” Madilyn huffs out, waving for Gary to follower her. 

The tour goes well, and Gary’s mostly amazed by Jasmine’s sitting room. It’s warm, and cozy, and has a _huge_ television with gaming consoles that Gary doesn’t even know the name of. Madilyn’s telling him all about them, and then when Madilyn can’t talk anymore she turns to Gary with determination set in her gaze. 

“You should let me put makeup on you before we go to the club.”

“No.” Gary says resolutely. 

Madilyn’s at the point of comfortably buzzed from the drinks Jasmine had been making, so she argues back. Her hands are already in her bag, pulling out a tube of some sort. It's purple and curvy.

“Yes.” Madilyn returns, unscrewing the top of the tube. It's mascara.

“Madilyn!” Jasmine calls from the kitchen, “Your phone is ringing!”

  
  
“Pick it up!” Madilyn calls back, and then continues her drunken half-argument with Gary. 

“Madilyn, I don’t care. You’re not putting makeup on me.” Gary argues, his hand lifted to prevent his sister from moving any closer with the mascara wand. 

“Gary!” Madilyn argues, amusement shining in her eyes. “What are you afraid of?! It’s just mascara!”

  
  
“An eye infection!” Gary argues. “Or you ripping my eyelashes out with that curler! I still remember when Emma did that in tenth grade!” 

Madilyn’s head tilts back, laughing evilly at that. Even Gary can’t help but add in to the laughter, keeping a hold on to his sister’s wrist as they grow weak with each giggle. Madilyn plops down on the couch, putting the mascara wand back in the tube. 

“Fine!” Madilyn agrees. “No mascara. But let me put some lip gloss on you.” 

“NO!” Gary exclaims, his hands on his stomach from laughing so hard. 

Jasmine enters the room, sitting on Madilyn’s side. Madilyn wraps an arm around Jasmine’s shoulders with a smile, playing with her hair already.

  
  
Jasmine presents a phone which is distinctly _Gary’s_ phone and not Madilyn’s. 

“It’s John and Simon,” Jasmine says, before she lowers her voice and adds on, “Their accents are so hot that I can finally understand why some women are straight.” 

Madilyn hides her face in Jasmine’s shoulder as she dies of laughter, so Gary takes the phone from Jasmine’s hand. 

“I’m sure they’d be honored to hear that,” Gary says to both women as he takes the phone and stands from the couch. 

“Tell Simon I said hi!” Madilyn shouts after Gary, despite Gary being only two feet away. 

Gary puts a hand over the speaker, pointing both of his hands at Madilyn.

“Sober up, young one.” He instructs before he turns and leaves the room. He hears Madilyn call him a party-pooper before he steps out into the living room, and straight to the balcony. 

He has some privacy now as he shuts the glass door behind him and leans over the railing. 

“Hello?” 

“ _Hello, Roach._ ” Ghost’s voice brings a wash of relief over Gary, and he can’t help but smile out at the city lights. “ _I’m calling you back like you requested._ ” 

“You mean you actually did something I asked you to do?” Gary teases, one brow quirking when he hears Ghost take in a breath. 

“ _You know, Roach, I almost miss your nagging._ ” Ghost comments with an exasperated sigh. 

“Hm,” Gary tilts his head to the side with a playful smile. “And I miss your bad acting.” 

Ghost huffs out a laugh, but then his voice turns serious as he says, “ _Soap stepped away but he wanted me to ask if you opened up your gift yet.”_

“Gift?” Roach questions, standing up in confusion. “I’m not home… what did he send?” 

“ _Not sure, bug. He hasn’t told me.”_

“Oh,” Gary says shortly, blinking as he starts to wonder what it could be. “Well, I’m in the city with my sister and her girlfriend. I’ll be back home tomorrow and check.” 

There’s a pause on the line, and then Gary fills the silence with playful words. “Should I be hurt that I’m getting presents from Soap and not you?” 

Ghost huffs out another laugh. “ _Y_ _ou know I don’t play favorites.”_

“Sure,” Gary replies as the door to the balcony opens. Gary turns, finding Madilyn with her head around the door and waving him forward. “Hey, I have to go… Thanks for calling me back.”

“ _Anytime, Roach. I hope you have fun with Madilyn and Jasmine.”_

Gary knows he should say bye at this part, but he doesn’t want to. Not yet. 

“Somehow you’ve got them both charmed,” Gary jokes. 

“ _I heard,”_ Ghost chuckles. “ _I’m glad Jasmine likes our accents. You never appreciate them._ ”

Gary hears Madilyn say ‘hurry up!’ so he turns around and holds up a finger. He moves the phone a little closer, feeling his heart skip a beat and his face turn red as he responds. 

“I like your accent,” Gary admits, as if he’s offended Ghost would think Gary _didn’t_ like his accent. “It’s… nice.” Oh _God_ , Gary wants to hit himself. It’s nice?! That’s all he can think to say. What is he even getting at right now?

“Gary!” Madilyn harshly whispers. “Drinks are half off and the place gets busy quick. _Come on_.” 

Ghost’s voice is fond as he says, “ _You better listen to your sister, mate. We’ll talk again._ ”

Gary knows he can’t come up with any other excuses to keep Ghost on the line, and Madilyn might have a conniption if he tries, so Gary softly says, “Bye.” 

“ _Bye, bug.”_

Gary pulls the phone back, hanging up, and is immediately captured by his sister. She’s tugging him off the balcony and into the living room. Jasmine’s waiting for them at the door, shaking her head as Madilyn brings Gary over. 

“So impatient.” Jasmine scolds. 

Gary slips his shoes on, and says, “It’s my bad. Sorry for making you guys wait. I’m ready!”

-

Gary’s back at Jasmine’s, laying in the guest bed in a pair of loose fitting shorts and an old t-shirt. He showered when he got back home - and he’s pretty sure his sister got a little frisky with Jasmine when he was showering since they weren’t anywhere to be found when he came out to the living room. 

So now he sits in bed, knowing that there’s still glitter on his body since, apparently, that stuff _doesn’t_ wash off easily. And the club was basically full of it. 

Gary takes in a deep breath, his eyes tracing along the ceiling, making out shapes and patterns from the texture. His mind feels busy, but he’s not sure why. There’s nothing occupying his thoughts… but ever since he got off the phone with Ghost it’s like his brain is trying to find an explanation for a question Gary never asked. 

He feels confused… 

Gary thinks back to when they first arrived at the club. It was like walking into a movie, Gary thinks. The colors were all vibrant, and the people shined under the light, all smiling and dancing. It seemed like a scene Gary would only see sitting in the theaters. It hadn’t felt real… 

The trio had gotten a round of drinks before they found a comfortable booth to sit and talk. Another round was ordered, and, once that was completed, Jasmine was taking Madilyn to the dance floor. 

Gary watched from the booth, smiling at the couple fondly. It was obvious how happy they were in each other’s presence. 

Gary thinks how his family tends to have good luck finding their soulmate. His parents are a good example, and Emma and her husband… and Becca and her’s. Now Madilyn and Jasmine can be added to that list.  
  


Gary guesses he has the same bad luck as his brothers. The soulmate-less. The single Sanderson boys. 

Gary had pulled out his phone, snapping pictures of the two to keep for memories. He’ll take the phone back with him when he returns to the 141 and put these pictures on his encrypted work computer. He doesn’t want to lose these. 

Jasmine and Madilyn returned after two songs, and then Gary’s phone was stolen by Jasmine so she could take pictures of him and Madilyn, and then the three of them, and then just Gary. Who laughed and told her he didn’t know what to do. So she took them discreetly. 

Gary looked through them when they got home. 

They were all good pictures, even the candids. He almost looked like he had been photoshopped in. Gary doesn’t do bars, let alone clubs. So it was hard to believe, even for himself, that he was actually _there._

Gary takes in another breath, tucking an arm behind his head as he situates himself to get more comfortable. 

He wonders what it would have been like to be at the club with some of his soldiers… but he just can’t picture it. He thinks of them being too boisterous and rowdy. Even picturing his soldiers in the same club is like picturing the sky purple. It’s a daydream that’s too far from reality, so it doesn’t last long. 

Gary stares out the bedroom window, letting his ears focus on the sound of the city. There’s passersby every few minutes, talking and laughing. The sound of a car horn every now and then. All of it is just _noise_. 

Gary allows his eyes to flutter and close. His breathing evens out, and he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. Forgotten Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should apologize. All this time I thought Roach was American, but according to his wikia he's British. I hope me making Roach American won't stop you from enjoying the story : )

Madilyn and Gary leave the next morning, after an amazing breakfast that Jasmine and Madilyn put together. Gary gave the couple some time to say their goodbyes, so he made sure to tell Jasmine how grateful he was for the fun weekend, and that he’s glad they met. Jasmine returns the sentiment with a glimmer in her eye. 

Gary takes his and Madilyn’s things downstairs, then gets in the driver’s side and starts the car so he can get the air conditioning going. 

Madilyn’s jogging to the passenger side with a wide smile, jumping in and shutting the door behind her. 

“Where are we going?” Madilyn asks as she buckles in, sharing an excited smile with Gary. 

“For a drive,” Gary answers as he puts the car in drive and pulls out onto the road. 

Once they’re out of the city, and on the highway, Gary pulls off on an exit and takes the backway home. Full of cornfields, beanfields, cows out in the pasture. Just green on blue as the rolling grass meets the sky. It’s beautiful and brings both of the siblings peace. 

They make it home in the early afternoon, jumping out of the car only to jump onto a set of four wheelers. They drive around the spacious farm, checking the crops, the fence, the grass fields. Just making sure everything still okay since they left 

They return when the sky’s turning gray and angry, with a roll of thunder far off in the distance. A promise of a storm. 

And storm it does. 

Madilyn and Gary make dinner together, and then sit down in front of the TV while they eat. They’re already in their pajamas, leaving the windows open to hear the sound of the rain. 

Madilyn and Gary fall asleep in front of the TV, their plates abandoned on the ground and their blankets mostly kicked off since the rain is making it so humid inside. 

-

Gary’s parents return home on Monday, when Madilyn and Gary are already in the fields working. Their dad joins them in the orchard to say hi before he disappears to take care of his own chores. 

The rest of the week carries on like normal. Gary works. Gary eats. Gary showers. Gary sleeps. Repeat. 

Friday night rolls around and Grant and Graham _insist_ on going out. Becca and Emma already got out of it; Becca was spending a quiet night in with her husband after a busy week, and Emma wanted to spend a night with her kids. 

Gary, on the other hand, did not have kids nor a husband. So he was not allowed to get out of his brothers’ annoying persistence. So he offers to be the designated driver, and Madilyn says she’ll go for support. 

The problem is that Madilyn is easily egged on by Grant and Graham. They buy her drinks, and shots, and the three are loud and playing pool. 

Gary really got roped into a night of babysitting. 

Luckily, the night goes without any terrible accidents. Grant does fall in a bush when Gary’s trying to get him and Graham home. Graham laughs so hard that he falls in the opposite bush… and Gary has to get them both out. He manages to get them inside, on the couch, when their roommate comes out with a gaming headset on and a look of confusion. 

“Have fun,” Gary tells their exhausted roommate before he turns and leaves. 

Madilyn’s singing in the passenger seat the entire ride home, and then continues to sing even when the music stops. Gary gets her out of the car, and she slings an arm around his shoulders as he helps her up the steps and inside. 

Gary gets her to drink some water, and then she _mostly_ gets herself up the stairs. Gary gets her in her bedroom, and Madilyn plops down on the bed. 

Gary’s sure Madilyn’s going to fall asleep in a minute or two, so he shuts the door gently and heads back downstairs to clean their dishes. 

What Gary finds instead is a cardboard box with a few stamps and stickers on it from traveling through many countries. There’s a little post-it note on the box in his mom’s handwriting. 

_“Gary,_

_This came on Wednesday and I forgot to tell you. It’s been sitting on top of the fridge since._

_Sorry!_

_Love,_

_Mom”_

Gary scrunches the note up in his hand as he glimpses down at the box, truly inspecting it. 

He knows that’s Soap’s handwriting - and suddenly remembers Ghost telling him that Soap was sending him a gift. 

Gary’s heart is in his throat as he grabs a knife and starts to tear into the box. There’s tons of bubble wrap, which he throws up into the air in favor of getting to the gift. 

Gary’s hands are on it. It’s sleek, cold… It’s a laptop. 

He’s already racing up the stairs to his room, trying his best to keep his footsteps light since his parents are probably sleeping. He’ll be sure to come back down and clean up the mess he left. But he needs to open this laptop _now._ Gary’s fingers are already thrumming with his heartbeat and anticipation. 

He’s in his room, shutting the door silently before racing over to his desk. He sets the computer down, then himself.

Gary takes a pause, staring at the stark black laptop. He takes in a deep breath to try and calm his nerves… and then Gary can’t take it anymore.

Gary opens up the laptop carefully, unsure what to expect. The screen stays black, up until he runs his finger gently across the mousepad. The screen lights up, with a few icons on the screen and a generic black background. 

Gary clicks on a note that was saved to the desktop. 

_Turn on the hotspot on your phone. Connect the laptop to it._

Gary grabs his cellphone and does as he’s told. The second the computer is hooked up to the hotspot, a call comes through. 

Gary clicks on the green phone. 

It’s a video call, Gary realizes a moment too late. On the other end of the call is Soap and Ghost, who are already talking by the time things click into place for Gary. 

_“Roach. Glad to see you finally opened the computer.”_ Soap jokes, pulling up closer to the webcam. Ghost walks into frame, standing over Soap’s shoulder with his arms crossed over himself. 

“I just got home.” Gary explains, although his breath is caught in his throat. It’s been too long since he’s seen Ghost… he's only heard the other's voice for so long. Gary finds it hard to take his eyes off the man. 

_“Enjoying your vacation, I hope.”_ Soap grins with a dangerous glint in his eye. 

“Do I have any other choice?” Gary retorts, looking up at the two under his lashes. Perhaps he sounds a little too pointed but it _is_ past midnight. 

The others don’t have a chance to respond because Gary’s bedroom door flings open and in comes his sister. 

Gary jumps, one hand landing on the top of the laptop and ready to close it if he needs to.

“Madilyn! What are you doing?” 

Madilyn’s eyes land on Gary. She’s drunk, that much is clear from her glassy eyes and how long it takes her to make a conclusion as to what Gary’s up to. 

She smirks, then snorts. 

“Gary! Are you watching what I think you’re watching?” Madilyn’s voice is too loud in the dark so Gary quickly shushes her.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, so no.” Gary answers, his voice teetering on the edge of exhaustion and annoyance. “You’re supposed to be in bed-”

“You _know_.” Madilyn waggles her brows with each word, stressing them as she tries to get Gary to understand. “ _People_ _watch it when they’re alone_ ,” she whispers at a level that even Gary can barely hear. But when she sees that he’s still not understanding, she throws her arms up and sighs. “Porn, Gary!” 

Gary recoils at that, then shakes his head. “No! Why would I-” Gary cuts off as he hears Soap laughing loudly from the other end of the call. 

Madilyn gasps loudly, then covers her mouth a minute too late. “Did you hear that?” 

“Madilyn, go back to bed. You’re drunk.” Gary says firmly. 

“You’re drunk too!” She claims, stepping closer into the room. 

“No, I’m not. I was the _driver_. Remember? Now go to bed.” 

Madilyn glowers as she walks over to Gary’s bed and proceeds to throw herself down on top of the covers. 

“No, not my bed.” Gary sighs. 

“You told me to go to bed! You didn’t tell me _which_ bed!” Madilyn is practically shouting at this point. 

“Shh!” Gary insists. “You’re going to wake Mom and Dad.”

“Mom and Dad aren’t even here. They went to the cabin for the weekend.” Madilyn’s words are smushed together since she has her face pressed into Gary’s bed. 

_“Shall we call you back, Sanderson?”_

Madilyn gasps again as she turns her head to rest her cheek against the bed. “I swear I’m hearing something!” 

“It’s my-” Gary motions to his computer. “It’s work.” 

“Oh,” Madilyn says sleepily, then lets out a small yawn. Gary watches as ten seconds pass and Madilyn begins to snore. 

Gary sinks back into his seat, shaking his head as he readjusts the laptop. 

_“That was cute,”_ Soap chuckles. 

Gary rolls his eyes at his superior, who’s leaned back in his chair with his arms above his head. His eyes drift over Soap’s shoulder back to Ghost, who is leaning back against a desk, hands gripping the edge. Ghost’s sleeves are rolled up, revealing toned forearms and a thick waterproof watch. 

“She passed out on my bed, so we’re fine.” Gary answers with a growl still in his voice. 

_“Is this your childhood bedroom, Roach?”_ Soap leans in closer to look at whatever he can over Gary’s shoulders. _“Give us a look around.”_

Gary smirks, giving the man an odd look as he shakes his head. “Why?” 

_“I’m curious! I want to see where my darling, apple-pie sergeant grew up. See what kind of posters you have on your wall, all your little trophies. See where you sleep. That last request is so Ghost has something to wank to.”_

_“Oi,”_ Ghost reaches out to slap the back of Soap’s head.

Soap laughs at the assault, clearly thinking the little comment was worth it. 

Gary, on the other hand, is completely caught off guard. His lips are parted and his cheeks grow hot. 

Soap and Ghost begin to spat, and Gary sees Madilyn shift out of the corner of his eye. He decides it’s best _not_ to chance her possibly waking up from his squabbling officers, so he stands from the desk, bringing the laptop with him as he tiptoes out of the room. 

He makes it as far as the kitchen by the time Ghost and Soap realize he’s on the move. 

_“Where are you taking us, Roach?”_ Soap inquires. 

Gary sits the laptop down on the large table, then flicks the light on in the room. He motions towards the room, but realizes his head is out of frame. All they can see is his torso and groin. 

Gary bends down so he can look at them. 

“I didn’t want you two to wake my sister up and I’m hungry.” He then steps back, walking over to the fridge and pulling it open, all while in the view of the camera. 

Gary grabs the pie out of the fridge and a fork from the drawer before coming back to the table and taking a seat. 

_“Is that_ actually _apple pie? How American.”_ Soap teases, watching as Gary digs in. 

“I live on an apple orchard,” Gary says as he shoves a bite into his mouth. “What did you expect?” 

_“What?! I didn’t know that!”_ Soap glimpses over his shoulder at Ghost, pointing at the screen. _“Did you know that?”_

_“Yes.”_ Ghost replies, shaking his head. _“I pay attention.”_

Soap rolls his eyes as he turns back to the camera. _“Fuck off, mate.”_

“Glad to see you two still bicker like the old ladies you are.” Gary teases, then smiles at the camera as he chews his apple pie. 

_“He thinks he’s cute.”_ Ghost retorts, sliding his arms back around his frame. 

_“Oh, you mean to tell me you think he isn’t?”_ Soap shoots back, which gets him another smack to the back of his head from Ghost. 

“You two have been around each other too long.” Gary explains as he takes another bite of pie. 

_“You’re not wrong, Roach.”_ Ghost pushes off the desk and steps forward. He leans over Soap to get closer to the camera, with one hand on the back of Soap’s chair and the other on the desk. Gary has a brief pang in his heart, an odd feeling that goes along with the realization that Ghost looks… good. Mask and all. _“Now that you’ve got your pie, and I can see your lovely face, how about we get started on this briefing?”_

Gary hums in approval around his spoon, trying not to think too much on all the comments he’s getting tonight. At first they were just jests from Soap, but now Ghost is joining in…

Gary’s thinking too much on it. That’s what this damn mandatory leave has done to him. Given him too much time to think. 

He pays attention to Ghost’s words, wishing he could see the man’s eyes behind his glasses, but he’ll take what he can get. Thirty minutes in and Ghost passes the mantel on to Soap to conclude the intel. And then Soap’s going on for thirty minutes and Gary’s eyes are starting to feel quite heavy. 

_“Oi, you’re not falling asleep on us now, are you mate?”_

Ghost’s voice is like a beacon in the fog that gets Gary back from the brink of sleep. He sits upright, realizing he began to slouch on his right arm. 

He blinks, letting his eyes adjust to the kitchen light. 

“Shit, sorry.” Gary rubs at his eyes and then clears his throat. 

_“No need to be sorry, mate. It’s late. We’ll call you again soon.”_

Gary sighs, wishing he could stay longer but Ghost is right. It’s half past one in the morning and Gary is about to pass out from exhaustion. 

“Alright,” Gary agrees begrudgingly. “Talk to you later.” 

_“Sleep well, Roach.”_ Ghost says his farewell, which sends a thrill down Gary’s spine. And then the call ends. 

Gary collapses back against the chair with a heavy sigh, then stares at the ceiling for a while longer. God, it was nice to see Ghost. Soap too. 

Sleep. Gary decides he has to do some work to finally go to sleep. He puts the pie away, and sets the fork in the sink to be cleaned in the morning. He gets rid of the empty cardboard and bubble wrap before he finally seems the kitchen clean enough. He drags his feet over to the light, flicking it off and immediately being cast in darkness. 

He then makes his journey over to the couch, plopping down and passing out almost the exact second after his head hits the pillow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Funny Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a steamy one! The mature rating is finally valid with this chapter.

Gary dreams

Gary dreams about pleasure. 

_Gary feels good. He’s comfortable, he’s warm, he’s hard._

_His hips roll up on their own accord, meeting friction, and Gary can feel himself moan rather than hear it. His whole body feels wave after wave of this pleasure, amplified in this sleepy state._

_“Roach,”_

_Gary moans again. His name, in that voice and that accent causes Gary’s hips to roll forward again. Ghosts’ voice is close, right next to his ear, and hits him bone deep._

_Gary tries to say Ghost, but it’s hard, it’s difficult to speak, so Gary finds himself whining instead._

_“What’s wrong, princess?”_

_Fuck, that word. Gary’s whole body shivers .He can hear it so clearly in Ghost’s voice. It has to be Ghost… Who else could it be?_

_Gary has to see him. So he opens his eyes._

_Ghost is above him, wearing the same outfit in the video call. The video call… Gary’s brain tries to remember when that was, but it fails to come up with an answer. All he knows is that it happened, and now Ghost is here._

_Gary’s hands find the edges of Ghost’s mask, pushing it up to reveal his lieutenant's mouth. There’s stubble along his jaw, Gary can feel it under his fingertips as he glides his hands down Ghost’s chin._

_And then Ghost’s mouth is on his. Hot and warm. Insistent, with his tongue in Gary’s mouth and it feels fucking amazing. Gary’s hands scramble for Ghost’s waist, pulling him down onto Gary so their bodies can press hot together._

_Gary’s mind is just on Simon and getting more and more of him. He grinds up, his eyes closing as he feels Ghost’s lips on his neck. It feels so wonderful, Gary’s stomach is in knots, and his cock hurts with how hard he is._

_Simon, Simon, Simon, like a mantra in his mind as he ruts against his superior for more._

_And then Gary’s coming, and Ghost smashes his mouth to Gary’s-_

And then Gary's awake. 

On the couch. It’s _humid_ in the living room, and it’s hot, and the windows are open with the bugs outside already buzzing noisily. 

Gary’s mind is slow catching up, but he’s got a pillow on his lap, and cum in his underwear. 

Gary blushes _furiously_ as he starts to realize just what he dreamt about. And what came of that dream… well. He did. 

Gary throws the pillow off his lap and races up the stairs in embarrassment. He’s panicking, heart racing in his chest. But how could he not be? He just dreamt about him and his lieutenant grinding against each other like horny teenagers. 

Oh, _God._ Ghost had called him princess. 

Gary’s relieved to see that his bedroom door is wide open and Madilyn is no longer occupying his bed. He thinks he hears her shower running, so he pushes in, locks the door, and shamefully throws his underwear and pants in the hamper. 

Gary moves to his bathroom in just his t-shirt, starting the shower so he can get rid of this evidence as _quickly_ as humanly possible. 

The water’s not even hot yet by the time Gary jumps under the spray and washes his body down. 

He tries not to think about it. He tries _incredibly_ hard not to think about Ghost on top of him, or Ghost’s mouth on his neck, or his infuriatingly attractive stubble. Does Gary even think stubble is hot? Apparently he does because the thought of Ghost’s stubble on his neck, rough against his skin, makes Gary’s skin flush hot. 

Oh, Gary doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want these types of feelings. _Especially_ not for his superior. 

Gary’s fucked. There’s no easy way around this. 

Gary gets out of the shower, barely towels off before he’s slipping on some jeans and a t-shirt. He’s putting his socks on as he goes down the stairs, and isn’t surprised to see Madilyn in the kitchen. 

“Breakfast?” She asks as Gary puts on his boots. 

“I’m gonna walk around the farm,” Gary says, running his fingers through his hair to push his wet locks off his forehead. “Clear my mind a little.” 

Madilyn doesn’t ask. It’s not the first time Gary’s needed a break. They all do sometimes. Life can get overwhelming, the farm can get overwhelming… his family can be pretty overwhelming too. But this is the first time Gary’s needed to step back because off-

Feelings?

Gary holds back a groan. 

“I’ll put some in the microwave for you when you get back!” Madilyn calls as Gary moves to the front door. He lets the screen door clack shut behind him. 

-

Gary’s stretched out on the hill a good few miles from the house. He walked there, but Madilyn’s driving up in her car, with the window rolled down. There’s a back exit to the farm, so she can leave from here rather than driving all of the way back up to the house. 

“Hey!” She calls, getting Gary’s attention. 

Gary pushes up on his elbows, eyes narrowed from having them closed for the last half hour. He sits up further when he sees that Madilyn’s taking a picture. 

“What are you doing?” Gary asks as he stands, coming down to Madilyn’s car. 

“You look like a model!” Madilyn explains, turning down the music as Gary comes to her window. 

She searches her brother’s eyes, giving a soft smile. 

“You okay?” She asks, unable to find the answer in his eyes. 

He gives her a wink, patting the top of her car. 

“I will be,” he answers.

Madilyn relaxes at the answer, her shoulders visibly falling in relief. 

“Good,” she breathes. “Hey, Jasmine’s coming down. She’s staying all week with me. You’ll have to come over a few nights to hang out.” 

“Of course,” Gary promises. “Tell her I said hi. And if she gets sick of you to give me a call.” 

Madilyn laughs, head falling back against the headrest in her car. 

“No way!” Madilyn shoots down the idea. “I don’t need my girlfriend liking my cool older brother more than me. I already like you more than me!” 

Gary laughs deeply, reaching into the car to rustle his sister’s wavy auburn hair. 

“Get going already.” Gary dismisses her. He stands up, pointing at the end of the dirt road. “Don’t get stuck down there,” Gary says protectively. “It’s still really muddy.” 

“And you don’t get stuck in the rain!” Madilyn’s car starts to creep forward. “Another storm is coming. You better start walking.” 

Gary takes a few steps back, giving her two cheesy thumbs up. 

“See ya!” Madilyn waves out of the car as she rolls slowly down the path. 

Gary waves with his arm above his head, still taking slow steps back towards the house. Once Madilyn is far enough away - and can’t see Gary’s waves any longer - he turns and walks in the proper direction home. 

He takes the journey at his own pace, kicking at larger rocks in the gravel as he walks. 

Madilyn was right, the sky is getting darker and darker - and with it, the air grows horribly humid. Gary’s clothes cling to his skin uncomfortably, and he’s got sweat on his brow from how thick the air is. Every now and then, a cool breeze will come along that nearly makes Gary shiver. But the humidity is too quick and traps Gary in it.

  
  
He’s still got a ways to go when it starts to sprinkle. Just innocent, barely-there, drops at first. But Gary’s gotten stuck in the rain enough times to know that this is his warning. So he breaks into a jog. 

It seems like the faster he runs the heavier it rains. 

By the time he’s jogging up the porch and inside, it’s pouring down. 

Gary stops in the doorway, looking out the screen door at the water that spills to the ground, filling up puddles and running down the driveway. He’s got his hands on his hips, breathing heavy as a roll of thunder sounds in the distance. 

Even now, dressed in soaking wet clothes and feet sore from running in work boots, Gary feels at peace. 

The air is much cooler now that it’s actually rained, so Gary moves around the house, opening the windows to provide a good air flow. Right now it’s only raining, there’s no wind whipping it around, so Gary doesn’t have to worry about water getting inside. If the storm worsens, he’ll be sure to shut the windows. 

Once that’s done, Gary moves to the kitchen. He starts the microwave, seeing that his sister was kind enough to leave him a plate. 

It’s barely mid afternoon, but the storm makes the sky dark and imposing, so it feels much later. He rests back against the counter, fingers gripping the edge as he waits for his food. The microwave dings seconds later, so Gary brings it out, grabs a fork, and moves to the table. 

He passes his laptop on the way, seeing it has been moved and plugged into the charger. There’s a sticky note on top in his sister’s messy handwriting. 

“ _I plugged your laptop in!! Don’t forget the food in the microwave! LOVE YOU!!!!!”_

Gary smiles as he scrunches the note up and throws it at the garbage can. He places his food down on the table before he reaches for the hem of his shirt. He’s about to take it off since he’d rather not sit around eating dinner soaking wet. 

He only stops since his cell phone buzzes against the table. He stares at it - feeling the edges of embarrassment creep back in. He’s spent enough time outside that he’s mostly forgiven himself for the dream. He pushed it away as a natural phenomena that was a result of eating apple pie too soon before bed. 

But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s still... feeling things. 

Gary huffs out a breath, admitting defeat as he grabs his phone. This time it’s a text from the unknown number. 

_Unknown number - [3:23PM]_

_Get on computer. Need to call._

Gary’s not surprised at the shorthand, but he does turn to look at his food longingly… He supposes he could always warm it back up. 

He grabs the laptop, opening it. He follows the same steps as the night before. He turns on his hotspot and waits for the call to come through. 

It barely takes a minute. Gary clicks on the green phone, and then repositions the screen as the video loads. 

“ _There he is!”_ MacTavish says, his voice loud in the speakers. 

Gary flinches back, but laughs as he turns the volume down. 

“ _Mate, what happened to you?!”_ Soap exclaims once he has a good view of his sergeant. 

“It’s raining,” Gary answers with a chuckle. 

“ _Aren’t you a little heartthrob_ .” Soap waggles his brows as he teases Gary, and Gary just rolls his eyes fondly. Soap’s done with his teasing since he says, “ _Wait right here, Roach. I had Ghost text you but didn’t think you’d be so fast. I have to grab a few things._ ”

“Fine!” Gary says as Soap gets out of his chair and walks away. “I’m going to go change then!”

“ _D_ _o what you have to!_ ” Soap calls from somewhere in their office. 

Gary brings the laptop with him into the laundry room, which branches off from the kitchen. A gorgeous room with many windows and soft green paint on the walls. He props the laptop up on a shelf, not too concerned with the camera angle for the time being. 

What he doesn’t hear, while he lifts the lid on the washing machine, is Soap softly saying, “ _Ghost, keep an eye on our bug, aye?”_

Gary pulls his shirt up and off his frame while Ghost takes a seat in Soap’s chair, with a mug of coffee in one hand. He’s wearing his gear, and mask, and sunglasses, so his expression is unreadable. Not that Gary would know anyway. He’s oblivious as he begins to undress. 

He throws the shirt in the washing machine, and then undoes his pants, all while Ghost watches. Ghost leans forward to put his chin in his hand as Gary pushes his pants down to his ankles and steps out of them. There’s nothing showy about what’s going on, Gary even stumbles, but rights himself like it was nothing. He throws his pants into the washing machine next, unaware of the eyes on him.

There’s a few shirts hanging up on the line, next to the windows. None of them are his, but they’ll do until he can get upstairs and shower. He plucks a plaid button-up off the line when he hears Soap’s loud voice again. 

“ _Roach, I didn’t know we were getting a show. I would have stayed for that.”_

Gary laughs at Soap’s words, his eyes down at his buttons. He’s off one button, and the shirt is tight in some places, loose in others, but it will do. He comes back to the laptop, picking it up off the shelf and moving back into the kitchen. 

“I didn’t know anyone was watching,” Gary comments as he sits at the table and positions the laptop. He brings his food close and decides that it’s still warm enough that it’s edible. 

“ _Ghost’s eyes never left the screen._ ” Soap jokes, laughing when Ghost gives him a silent, pointed look behind his glasses. Soap doesn’t stop his teasing as his eyes flit down to Ghost’s groin and back up. “ _Do you want to go take care of that while Roach and I chat?_ ”

Ghost stands from Soap’s chair, his tone dry as he says, “ _Ha-ha. Always so witty, Captain._ ”

Soap looks pleased as he plops down into his chair. He grabs the coffee mug Ghost had brought, lifting it and taking a sip. 

Gary, on the other hand, has missed the joke entirely. He chews thoughtfully and says, “Take care of what?”

  
  
Gary gets two incredulous stares in response, so Gary goes wide-eyed and holds up his palms to show he’s innocent. “What?!” Gary laughs. 

Soap looks up at Ghost, _“How has he managed to stay so innocent? Honestly?_ ”

Ghost shakes his head, which just makes Roach laugh. 

“ _Alright, Roach. How long do we have you for before your sister breaks in on you again?_ ”

“All night,” Gary responds as he stands and gets a pitcher of iced tea out of the fridge. He pours himself a glass, then takes a sip before finishing his statement. “I’m home alone.” 

“ _Did you have fun last night?”_ Soap asks earnestly, straightening up a stack of papers on his desk. 

Ghost hovers over Soap’s shoulder, leaning against the desk in the back, just like the night before. Gary forces his eyes away and on Soap instead as he answers.

“I was the designated driver for my drunk brothers and sister.” Gary says dryly. “I had to carry my brothers inside - and then they both fell into the bushes outside their house. I babysat, is what I had to do. So no, it wasn’t very fun.” 

Soap’s laughing loudly, leaning back in his chair as he enjoys the story. “ _Are you the oldest?_ ” Soap asks next. 

“No!” Gary laughs, taking another bite of his food. 

“ _He’s the second youngest_.” Ghost explains. 

Gary would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little impressed that Ghost knew that.

“ _How adorable._ ” Soap smirks, his eyes flitting up to Ghost. Ghost’s expression is unreadable - no surprise there - but Soap seems to pick up on whatever it is Ghost is conveying behind the mask. Soap sits up, looking at Roach again. “ _We were talking about Ghost’s dick, by the way.”_

Gary chokes on his food while Ghost exclaims, “ _Jesus fucking Christ, Soap._ ”

“ _What?!”_ Soap says through his laughter. He knows what he’s done. 

“ _Roach, are you okay?”_ Ghost asks, ignoring the cackles from their superior. 

Gary’s downing his iced tea, and even then his throat is a little raw from inhaling the food down the wrong pipe. He clears his throat, then gives Ghost a thumbs up. 

“ _See,”_ Ghost says to Soap, “ _This is why I call him when you’re not around.”_

Soap only cackles again before he wipes at his eyes and tries to compose himself.

  
  
“ _Alright, sorry, Roach. I’ll be professional now. Here’s what we need to go over.”_ Soap spends the next forty-five minutes briefing Roach on a short mission Soap and Ghost will be going on. Roach gives a few good points, and some great suggestions on how the two can approach - which Ghost makes sure to write on the white board just behind Soap. 

Soap runs a hand through his hair before he throws up his hands. _“That’s all I had for you. You and Ghost can whisper sweet nothings to each other now. I’m going to bed. Night, lad._ ” 

Gary tells Soap goodnight. He hears the door to their shared office shut, and then Ghost sits down in MacTavish’s chair. 

_“Did you sleep okay last night?”_ Ghost asks, moving some of Soap’s things out of the way. 

Gary smiles, turning his head so he can rest his cheek in his hand. “I slept on the couch and my sister slept in my bed.” 

Gary can tell that Ghost is smiling behind the mask, so Gary says, “I’m glad you think it’s funny!” 

They tease each other back and forth, in between asking each other actually caring questions. Gary asks Ghost if his bed is still hurting his back, to which he gets a yes. And Ghost asks if Gary’s still having a hard time adjusting to the time zone change, to which Gary answers no.

Ghost asks how Gary’s parents are doing, so Gary sits back in the old kitchen chair and watches Ghost carefully. 

“They’re old, and tired, and want to retire,” Gary answers, watching as Ghost nods understandingly. “...They’d love you.”

Ghost huffs out a surprised laugh. “ _You think?_ ”

“Absolutely,” Gary says with a sleepy smile. He looks up at the kitchen light, watching the ceiling fan go round as he talks. “My mom would make you try all of her cooking, and my dad would talk to you all day about the farm.” The idea makes Gary laugh, and he continues. “Madilyn already thinks you’re super cool. Emma and Becca would fall in love with you-”

  
  
Ghost laughs and Gary joins in. 

“Grant and Graham would probably want to wrestle you.” Gary shakes his head and rolls his eyes at the thought of his brothers. Fondly, of course. 

“ _Think I could take them?”_ Ghost ponders, and that makes Gary’s nose scrunch up with a laugh.

  
  
“Definitely.” Gary tells him. “Without a doubt.” 

A roar of thunder catches Gary’s attention, eyes wide as he watches another flash of lightning in the distance. He sighs, and the thunder melds with it. Loud and annoying. 

_“Is it storming there?”_ Ghost asks. 

“Yeah,” Gary says with a frown. “I need to close the windows. Don’t go!” 

Gary hurries around the house as he shuts the front door, and moves to each window to push it down. It’s not easy, since the house always swells when it’s hot or humid, but Gary gets all windows closed, even if they fight him along the way. 

He comes back to the kitchen table, smiling when he sees that Ghost is still there. 

_“Your hair has gotten long,”_ Ghost tells him. 

Gary hums as he runs his hands through his shaggy blonde hair. It’s not that bad, but it is longer than it's been in years. Gary hasn’t had a chance to cut it, and hasn’t had any reason to. 

“Hey, I’m on vacation,” Gary jokes, then points at Ghost accusingly. “One that you made me go on. My hair might get a little long.” 

_“Is my sergeant pouting right now?”_ Ghost teases, closer to the camera. It seems they’ve both been drawn in the longer the call has gone on. _“I didn’t say it looked bad.”_

Gary laughs off the blush he feels rise up his neck. “I’m going to ask Emma to cut it for me. She used to go to beauty school.”

_“Send me pictures,”_ Ghost comments lightly. Like it’s nothing. 

“Really?” Gary feels like the thought is impossible. There were numerous times he saw something and thought how he wished Ghost was around to see. But something about sending pictures seemed like Gary was dangerously close to crossing an invisible line. Could he bother Ghost with things that weren’t work related? He would have if they were in person. He bothered Ghost all the time, talking about things that Ghost had no interest in. Yet Ghost still listened. 

_“Of course,”_ Ghost’s voice is light and easy. _“You’ve got yourself a fancy smartphone now.”_  
  


Gary feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He grins and asks, “Do you want to see what Madilyn looks like?” 

It spirals from there. Gary starts sending Ghost pictures, and Ghost sits on the other end of the call, with his boots up on Soap’s desk casually. Gary starts with the picture of Madilyn the morning after Ghost called them, and Ghost gets a good laugh out of it. And then Gary sends Ghost a picture of Madilyn and Jasmine at the club. 

_“Where are you?”_ Ghost inquires, his eyes still on the phone. 

“Behind the camera,” Gary answers, as if it’s obvious. He’s teasing because he doesn’t want to send Ghost pictures of him at the club. It’s not that Gary doesn’t like the pictures. He knows that he looks good… It's just that the idea of Ghost seeing that side of him makes Gary nervous. He can’t explain why he’s feeling this way. 

“ _Madilyn and Jasmine seem like the type to make sure you’d get your picture taken,_ ” Ghost looks up from the phone and straight at the screen. He’s hidden behind his mask and glasses, but Gary can see right through him. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Gary grumbles.

_“I want to see your pretty face,”_ Ghost returns with a flirty tone. Only to tease… surely.

“Oh?” Gary has used that tone before. It usually alludes to an argument about the mask. So Ghost’s head tips back, looking at Gary tiredly - something Gary can, again, decipher behind those sunglasses. 

_“Don’t make me pull rank, Roach.”_ Ghost doesn’t mean it. He’s said it before, and it’s always an empty threat. 

Gary’s eyes narrow, but he smiles. He wants to make Ghost ask. He knows that Ghost is curious. It’s not like Ghost has gotten to see Roach in civilian life, after all. Gary would be curious too, if the rolls were reversed. But Gary’s not going to make it easy on Ghost either. 

_“Come on,”_ Ghost kicks his feet down from the desk so that he can face the camera fully. _“I won’t be able to talk to you for awhile since Soap and I will be on this stupid mission. Give me something to get through it.”_

Gary’s head falls back as he laughs. 

“What am I? Your girlfriend back home?” Gary retorts. 

_“If I’m lucky.”_

Ghost is _smooth_. Regardless of how ridiculous that comment may be. 

Gary shakes his head with a blush high on his cheeks. He searches through the photos, deciding it’s best not to spend much time picking one. He chooses one of the candids Jasmine had taken - where Gary’s looking off to the side, illuminated by blues and pinks. 

“Fine.” Gary says firmly. “I’m sending you one picture. But I know it’s because you want to make sure I’m not miserable and lonely here. And I’m not _that_ miserable and lonely. So you should stop worrying.” 

Gary’s pretty sure Ghost is smiling. But his officer is distracted when his phone buzzes. 

Gary watches, tempted to bite on his thumbnail while he waits for Ghost’s reaction. 

Ghost unlocks his phone, clicks on the photo, and then there’s silence. Gary almost cracks and asks him _why_ he’s being so odd, but then Ghost hums. 

_“I’m making that my background.”_

“What?” Gary questions, only for Ghost to turn the phone around and show Gary that he is now _definitely_ the background on Ghost’s phone. “Simon!” Gary exclaims. “Change that right now.” 

“ _Oh!”_ Ghost laughs, happy and amused. _“I’ve got you so flustered you called me Simon. How cute.”_

Gary’s face is properly flushed. Ghost’s teasing has reached an all time high. Imagining being Ghost’s phone background makes Gary’s heart race in a way he’s never truly experienced before. 

_“I’m keeping it,”_ Ghost tells him, the tone alone leaves no room for argument. _“It's proof that you're actually having a good time. I'll wait for your unending gratitude for forcing you to go on this vacation.”_

“This is _not_ fair.” Gary grumbles. 

_“Good thing I don’t care about what’s fair or not.”_ Ghost’s voice is still light and playful. _“You need to go to bed already, mate. I’ve kept you up long enough.”_

“I kept myself up,” Gary corrects. He turns sheepish as he says, “Thanks for talking.” 

_“Anytime, bug. Sleep well, okay?”_

“You too,” Gary orders. “...and you stay safe. Okay?” 

_“I’ll be back to annoy you in a few weeks,”_ Ghost promises. _“Soap will be there too.”_

Gary smiles softly. “Okay. See you then.” 

_“Bye, Roach.”_

The video call ends, and Gary’s surrounded by the sound of an empty house. 

Gary plugs the computer back in, making a mental note to take it up to his room tomorrow. But for now, he grabs a blanket off the back of the couch, and sleeps there. 

He thinks about how long these next few days are going to be without hearing Ghost’s voice. Although he did make it through the first few weeks with getting a call from Ghost… He could make it that long again if he had to, right? 

The problem is that he doesn’t want to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	6. Thoughtful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! This is a pretty slow, short chapter, so the next one might come quicker.

The days and nights pass and Gary doesn’t receive a call. He’s thinking about Ghost and Soap almost every second of the day. Replaying the briefing in his mind, wondering if there was anything he missed. Maybe there was a flaw in the plan that he should have caught… 

Gary huffs out an annoyed breath, climbing down from his old wooden ladder to stare up at one of the hundreds of apple trees in the orchard. He’s been picking this one relatively bare since this morning, but he’s climbing down now to see if there’s any spots he missed. 

Even now, he’s thinking of Ghost and Soap as the sun peeks through the leaves and branches of the apple tree. 

Gary lifts a gloved hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he walks around the tree, scouting for more apples. He sees none that are ripe enough to pick, so he deems this tree good. He picks up a full bushel and starts to make a trek over to the trailer he has hooked to the back of the farm truck. It holds seven other barrels of apples that Gary’s been picking since this morning. 

Madilyn approaches noisily, kicking up small twigs and rocks hidden in the grass as she gets closer to the parked truck. She walks around, tucking her gloves into her back pocket. The breeze has rustled her auburn hair, some strands sticking to her temples from sweat. 

“Holy cow!” Madilyn exclaims as she pauses at the end of the trailer. She puts her hands on her hips, looking at the heavy bushels and then at Gary. Gary can see her turn on a gentle approach for her next question. “You’ve been working extra hard lately. Something on your mind?” 

“No,” Gary lies with a soft smile. He's not looking at her, since he knows she can see right through him, so he focuses on situating the bushels instead. Gary had gone through the interrogation training just like anyone else, and passed with flying colors. But with Madilyn? Gary doesn't stand a chance. 

“Sure,” Madilyn says with a knowing look. She does roll her eyes, but Gary knows there's no heat behind it. “Dad says to get you out of the orchard. You’ve been in here too long.” 

Gary takes his gloves off, motioning to the trailer with them. He turns in Madilyn's direction, eyes narrowed to against the sunlight. “I’m headed out.” 

“Good,” Madilyn looks pleased as she plops herself down onto the trailer. “I’ll help you unload and then I’m taking you to my place. Jasmine’s making dinner.”

Gary grins at the news. That should be good... Gary thinks. Jasmine and Madilyn will help get his mind off things. “Sounds like a plan. You riding back there or up front with me?” 

Madilyn hops off the trailer, “I _guess_ I’ll ride in the front.” 

The two share a grin as they part ways and move to the front of the truck. 

-

Gary was given a chance to shower and put on some clothes that didn’t have holes in them. Madilyn was still wearing her gray tanktop, her hair in a messy ponytail, and worn denim jeans by the time Gary came downstairs. 

“Let me put on my socks,” Gary says as he leans against the banister, lifting one foot at a time to slide his socks on.

Madilyn stands, watching, and then their mom walks out from the kitchen to watch too. 

“Gary,” his mom says curiously. “Why don’t you ever wear shorts? It has to be ungodly hot to wear those pants all the time.” 

“I can’t even picture you in shorts,” Madilyn says, and then pauses as she tries to think about it. She shakes her head and gives up. “No, it’s too weird.” 

Gary laughs as he gathers his shoes and slips those on.

“I guess it’s better than a uniform, right?” Madilyn smirks. 

Gary groans as he ties his laces on his last shoe. “So much better.” 

“I’m just worried you’re going to have heat stroke one day!” His mother explains with a huff. 

“Mom, Gary literally fights bad guys with his bare hands-” 

Gary snorts at that, “Not true.” 

Madilyn carries on as if Gary hadn’t spoken up. “He’s not worried about heat stroke!” 

“Madilyn, you’ve been hanging out with Grant and Graham too much.” Their mother says with a shake of her head. She comes over to give her kids a kiss on the cheek each. “Enjoy dinner. Call me if you need anything.”

The siblings say their goodbyes as they close the front door and jump down the porch to Madilyn's car. They hop in, and then Madilyn and Gary sing in her car on the way over to Madilyn’s apartment. They're being loud with their terrible singing and not caring that they keep getting the lyrics wrong. It only makes them laugh along the journey, Madilyn’s eyes on the road and Gary’s eyes on the passing landscape. 

They park outside, and Jasmine’s already coming out of Madilyn’s apartment, barefoot, to give Gary a hug. 

“Thank God,” Jasmine says, teasingly dramatic. “She’s been driving me crazy.” 

Gary’s loud laugh is genuine, and it deepens when he and Jasmine turn to a pouting Madilyn. 

They head upstairs, where Jasmine already has food on the stove sizzling and popping in pans. She’s giving a few instructions to Madilyn, who comes over to help, and then asks Gary if he’d like to sample what she’s making. 

Gary comes over, taking a taste of red sauce off the tip of a wooden spoon. His eyes widen, and he perks up as he’s overcome by the flavor. 

“Wow,” Gary’s voice is gentle and amazed. “That’s delicious.”

“That’s what you’re missing while you’re away doing your army things!” Madilyn tells him, grabbing a salad bowl and moving it to her small kitchen table. “You could be coming to my apartment every week for _amazing_ food made by my beautiful girlfriend instead of doing your secret soldier things.” 

Gary and Jasmine share a look, and then Jasmine mimes a punch, which makes Gary laugh. 

“Gary would never punch me,” Madilyn says matter-of-factly, making both her sibling and partner laugh. “He did it once when he was ten and I was eight and he’s regretted it ever since.” 

“That's true,” Gary tells Jasmine with a grimace. 

The three sit down for dinner and some drinks, and stay seated around the table talking even after their plates are empty. 

Madilyn gets up, excusing herself to the bathroom. 

“You know, Gary. I enlisted when I was eighteen,” Jasmine says, sitting back in her chair with a soft smile. “I was in the air force for six years. I’ve been out three years now.” 

“Did you like it?” Gary asks curiously. 

Jasmine laughs, somewhat dry and somewhat soft. She thinks on it, then says, “It was an experience. I was deployed. I didn’t like that. I missed home too much.” 

Gary nods understandingly. 

“I had a high-security position,” Jasmine continues on, her eyes watching Gary curiously. “I would have been in for about four years. Only twenty-two when I was right in the middle of my deployment. We were really in the thick of it. That was the first time in my life I thought _shit. I’m going to die._ ” 

Gary feels a prickling on his skin at the retelling. He knows that feeling, but he’s grown so numb to it that he can barely imagine it now. He knows the racing heart… the numb fingertips. The adrenaline. But he forgets the fear of dying. He’s too accustomed to it. 

“Even now, I’m not supposed to talk about it.” Jasmine says calmly, “And I’ve never told anyone this story... I’m sure you have to live by the same secrecy.” 

Gary finds himself nodding. 

“But I think you need to hear this story just as much as I have to tell it. I hope you don’t mind.” 

“Of course not,” Gary tells her. 

Jasmine nods, seeming to deflate at Gary’s reassurance. 

“We were stuck for eight days,” Jasmine continues her story, crossing her arms over herself. She seems tired as she talks about her experience, but it is late into the night and they’ve just finished a huge dinner. “Spent without food and water. Low on ammunition. And the only shelter we had was an old school that had been bombed a week before.

“We were able to stay hidden for a while, but the last three days were hell. Nothing but fighting. We used everything we had but they had the clear advantage. They had us surrounded. Our communications had been cut on day two... At this point we were just trying to survive.

“Then, somehow,” Jasmine’s eyes are distant, looking at the table. Gary knows that stare. She’s remembering, picturing it as if she was there yesterday. Those memories will always stay vivid in a soldier’s mind. “We were rescued. Some special ops group came and got us out of there.” 

Jasmine’s eyes flit up to meet Garys. And finally Gary knows why she’s telling this story. 

“It wasn’t easy,” Jasmine continues, leaning forward to put her elbows on the table. “We had three severely injured. Fourteen wounded… but we all made it.” 

Gary feels frozen. He can’t move as Jasmine continues her story. 

“There are some things I’ll never forget about that last day. When that task force showed up.” Jasmine holds Gary’s gaze cautiously. “I remember the field operators clear as day. I’d never seen such leadership, until then. The men worked like clockwork, the officers actually knew what they were doing… it was obvious that they were the best of the best.

“I remember them so vividly that I could draw a picture. I remember one had a mohawk,” Jasmine looks up at the ceiling contemplatively. “There was another guy, he had a big thick beard. And when he spoke his soldiers listened. He broke his unit up into three groups. He led one. One was led by the guy with the mohawk. One was led by a guy in a skull mask. That skull mask was intimidating,” Jasmine huffs out a laugh, lowering her gaze to smile at Gary. 

Gary wants to smile back, but all he can do is listen. There’s the creeping realization that Jasmine knows. Knows more than his family ever will. 

“I remember their voices.” Jasmine tacks on. “And never imagined I’d ever hear them again. But then I picked up your phone - only because I thought it was Madilyn's - but ever since that night I knew I recognized those voices…” 

Gary swallows, and then nods. 

“It took me a few days until I remembered _when_ I had heard those voices.” Jasmine pauses, and then asks, “Were you there too? All those years ago?” 

Gary nods, “Yeah. I was.”

Jasmine takes a moment to think, but then she nods in return. “Thanks, Gary.” 

Gary’s familiar with these sorts of thanks. Quick and simply said, but meaning more than anyone could imagine. Gary gives her a gentle smile and Jasmine returns it. 

Madilyn comes out from the bathroom moments later with a heavy sigh. “So, when’s dessert?”

Jasmine laughs, looking lighter now. She grabs Madilyn’s hand, pulling her into her lap and kissing her. 

And Gary just smiles. 

He can’t think of anyone else better for his sister than Jasmine. 

An hour later they've completed dessert and a movie. Gary’s moved to the guest bed, saying goodnight to the couple before swinging the bedroom door shut. He shucks off his pants, folding them and resting them on the bedside table for the following morning. 

He slides under the covers in his t-shirt and boxers, getting comfortable in the dark room. His mind is starting to drift away the sleepier he gets... He’s nearly consumed by slumber when his phone buzzes on the end table. 

Gary blinks blearily, seeing that his phone screen is alight. He reaches for it, already thinking that it’s too soon for Ghost to be reaching out to him… The mission would have taken two weeks tops, and it’s only been four days. 

Gary opens, finding a text message. 

_Unknown Number [11:47PM]_

_Image_

Gary clicks on the message. The picture takes a few seconds to load, but then his heart is full of relief. It’s a picture of the horizon. The sky is overcast, but the white dot of the sun is visible through the clouds. The gray sky mixes with rolling green hills and clumps of trees here and there. Gary can see a few empty railroad tracks stretched out in the distance. 

Another message comes through, taking a second to load before Gary can read it. 

_Unknown number [11:48PM]_

_I know you always appreciate the view. Stop worrying_.

Gary’s sleepy smile widens. There’s a swirl of emotions through him right now. Relief being the most prevalent. But he’s also sad. Sad that he’s not there with Ghost… sad that it will still be a few days before he can hear from his lieutenant. 

Ghost must have had a few moments of down time, apparently with enough service to send Gary a message. That thought makes Gary’s stomach twist in a knot too. Ghost thought about Gary in the middle of his mission. Thought about how Gary always takes his time to soak in their surroundings. Thought about how Gary would appreciate a picture… 

Ghost was thinking about Gary. 

Gary locks his phone, staring into the darkness. He lets himself fall into this feeling... trying to fully understand it. 

Gary’s mind has been occupied with Ghost since they last spoke… but Gary never thought that maybe he’d be on Ghost’s mind too. 

Gary hopes he is. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	7. Coming Out

Two weeks and five days. 

It takes two weeks and five days before Gary hears from Ghost and Soap again. It’s Friday night and the entire family is over. His mom is in the kitchen with Emma. Becca and Madilyn are sat across from Grant and Graham, arguing about something Gary frankly doesn’t care about. Emma’s boys are running around in the front yard while their dad, Beau, and Becca's husband Champ, sit on the front porch watching them. Gary’s dad is out there too, yelling encouragements at his grandkids as they play a game of two-person football. 

Gary watches everything move around him, consumed with an odd feeling. As if he’s there… but not really. 

“Gary,” Becca turns to look at her brother. “You’ve been quiet all night. You okay?” 

Gary blinks out of his reverie, meeting Becca’s hazel eyes.

“Yeah,” Gary breathes, then scratches at the back of his neck as he says, “I’m just - uh - thinking this must be what it’s like when I’m not here.” 

The rest of his siblings stop talking in favor of looking at him, while Emma and his mom continue to talk about some recipe by the stove. Gary feels scrutinized under their gazes, so he holds up his hands to show his innocence. 

“What did I say?” Gary asks.

  
  
“I’ll just have Beau run home and get it from our place, Mom.” Emma says with a shrug, grabbing her keys out of the pile on the nearby shelf. “It’ll be quicker than running to the store.” 

Emma walks past the table and to the front door, but notices the silence as she passes. She glimpses at Gary since everyone else is staring at him too. 

“Damn, Gar. I don’t know what you did to get them to shut up but good job.” Emma smirks at her younger brother as she moves on to the front door to give the chore to her husband. 

Grant gets the conversation going again, and Becca and Madilyn jump back in with the same heat as before. Gary still doesn’t know what they’re arguing about, but he’s fond of his siblings nonetheless. The fiery sides of his siblings come out during arguments, and Gary’s always amused at the funny things they say when these sides come out. 

Gary sits as a lone audience member, laughing at some of the jabs his sisters and brothers throw back and forth at each other. 

At some point during the argument, Madilyn peers over at Gary. She looks like she wants to say something, chewing on the inside of her cheek, but Madilyn puts it off. She turns back to Graham, cutting him off with her side of the argument. Gary's curious, but he knows that Madilyn would tell him if she needed to. She doesn't tend to keep things to herself for long. 

“Exactly!” Becca says, backing Madilyn up. 

Gary’s eyes fall to his phone, realizing that his screen is on and he’s getting a call. He knows who it is, since only one person calls him after all. Gary’s quick as he swipes up his phone, headed to the stairs. He sees Emma on the way, who pats his shoulder as they pass. He gives her a smile, taking the stairs two at a time. 

He answers his phone when he’s at the top, pressing it to his ear. 

“Hello?” Gary pushes his way into his bedroom, clicking the door shut behind him. The yellow light from the late afternoon sun shines into his room, reflecting against the dust particles that float gently in and out of the rays. A warm breeze from outside rustles his sheer curtains and a few pages from an old comic of Gary’s flips open. 

_“Roach,”_ Ghost’s voice fills his ears, raspier than usual. _“We’re back.”_

Gary sinks against his door in relief. He's choked by it, unable to say anything for a few seconds. Simon is okay... he's okay.

“How’d it go?” Gary pulls himself back together, pushing off his door and moving to the window. He stares out at the grass illuminated gold by the setting sun. 

_“Went well. We got what we needed. Soap will want to do a debriefing with you later.”_

Gary has a fleeting thought… wondering why Ghost is calling him now. Just to talk? It makes his heart skip a beat… and Gary huffs out in annoyance. Now that he has Simon's voice in his ear, Gary realizes how strong he truly missed his lieutenant. 

_“What’s the huffing and puffing for, mate? I thought you’d be happy to hear from me.”_

“I am, Ghost.” Gary breathes, allowing his eyes to close. Perhaps he answered too quickly… He pauses, listening to Ghost rustling around on the other end of the line. “What are you doing?” 

_“Getting ready to shower. We just got in.”_

Gary’s eyes widen. “You mean you _just_ got back?” 

_“Yes, love,”_ Ghost returns. 

Gary’s lost in his thoughts for a second longer. Ghost called him as soon as he could. Just to tell Gary that he’s okay. It means so much to Gary, but how is he supposed to know if this means anything to Ghost? 

Gary shakes his head to will the thought away. He’s thinking about this _far_ too much. He’s complicating something that’s not even there. He’s only fabricating this ludicrous notion that maybe Ghost is feeling like this too… longing for him like Gary’s longing for Ghost. 

Distance has made Gary’s brain turn to mush. That has to explain all of these feelings Gary has. Thousands of miles away from a man he's spent the last few years with is why Gary's confused. He's never had to miss someone like this before. It doesn't have to be romantic. It doesn't have to mean anything. Gary could just tell Ghost he missed him. They can joke about it and that should make Gary feel normal again.

“Ghost, I-” Gary begins, but he’s startled when his bedroom door opens and closes behind him. 

Madilyn enters, keeping her voice hushed as she says, “Gary, I’m going to come out to our family tonight.” 

Gary freezes. The two look at each other for a moment. 

“Gary, please say something,” Madilyn looks panicked.

Gary swallows. 

“Simon, can you call me back?” Gary asks, keeping his voice steady. 

_“You’ll hear from me later. Tell Madilyn I said good luck.”_

“Thanks. Don’t forget about me.” 

Ghost huffs out a laugh. _“Don’t worry, dear. I’ll be thinking of you while I shower.”_

Gary’s mind is a little distracted, so he says, “Good. Talk to you later.”

_“Bye, Roach.”_

“I’m sorry,” Madilyn grimaces when Gary lowers the phone and hangs up. “I didn’t mean to-” 

“Hey, it’s fine,” Gary says reassuringly. He walks over to his bed, plopping down on the edge. He pats the open space beside him, glad to see Madilyn deflate as she walks over. She throws herself down on Gary’s bed, belly first. 

“Am I crazy? I don’t want Jasmine to feel like I’m hiding her any longer. I need to tell mom and dad and if they don’t agree… then, well…” Madilyn trails off, then shakes her head. “I’m coming out to them tonight and I need you to be there for me.” 

Gary reaches over to pat his sister’s back. “I’ll be there,” he promises. 

There’s a beat of silence, so Gary falls onto his back, placing his arms behind his head. His eyes trace the wooden beams above him. This is Madilyn’s time, not his, so he’ll wait with her as long as he needs to. He can feel her breathing even out beside him, and he knows that she’s growing calmer the longer they wait. 

“I’m scared,” Madilyn says softly. 

Gary scoffs at that, his head turning to look at Madilyn. The blankets rustle underneath him.

“Sorry, you might _think_ you’re scared.” Gary says with a shake of his head. “But Madilyn Sanderson isn’t scared of anything.”

Madilyn snorts at Gary’s answer, but she nods along. “You’re right.” 

“Good,” Gary sits up and Madilyn situates herself so she can sit beside him. “Simon said good luck, by the way. So you have two of us on your team.” 

Madilyn grins up at Gary as she brushes a wavy lock behind her ear. 

“Sorry I interrupted your call with Simon,” she apologizes, her mouth scrunched to one side. 

“You interrupted nothing,” Gary assures her, slinging an arm around her shoulders. “He was getting in the shower.” 

Madilyn leans into Gary’s side, resting her hand on his knee and her head on his shoulder. They take refuge in each other’s presence for a few minutes longer before Madilyn looks back up at Gary. 

“So when am I going to get to meet Simon? He sounds cute. Is he cute? With a voice like that he’s got to be cute-” 

“Madilyn,” Gary’s teasing as he looks at her warningly. “You’re stalling.” 

Madilyn nods confidently, “Yes I am.”

“Let’s go downstairs. You can do this. Okay?” 

The two head out of Gary’s bedroom only after giving each other a reassuring fist bump. Gary makes sure to linger behind Madilyn as she takes the stairs one at a time. Slow. Careful. Taking her time before she approaches one of the most daunting tasks of her life. Something she’s had nightmares about… 

Telling her family she’s gay. 

They enter the kitchen, and Gary expects them to sit down for Madilyn to start gingerly broaching the topic. But, in classic Madilyn fashion, she blurts her words out. 

“I have something I need to say!”

Gary freezes at Madilyn’s side, watching as their entire family stops their conversation to look up at Madilyn. Okay... so they're doing this now. He hadn't expected it so soon, but he's ready to be there for Madilyn if anything goes south. It's hard to have confidence with the numerous stares. He’s not the one with all eyes on him, yet Gary still feels his skin prickle. He takes in a breath, looking at Madilyn. She looks back, so Gary gives her a nod. 

“I’ve been keeping something secret for way too long and I need to tell you before I die-” 

Their mom gasps, but Madilyn carries on.

“I’m gay.” 

The room is silent. They can hear the bugs buzzing outside of the window, the ice machine goes off inside the freezer, the fan whirs above their head. But the kitchen is devoid of any conversation. 

“Madilyn!” Their mother exclaims, “Start with that next time! My God, I thought you were going to tell us you were sick.” 

Their dad walks in with Beau and Champ in tow, along with Garrison and Michael, Emma’s two boys. Their father stops when he sees the state of everyone in the kitchen. He glimpses at Gary and Madilyn, then back at the rest of his children. 

“What did I miss?” He gruffs out, waddling his way forward.

“Madilyn’s gay,” Graham says, then adds on, “And Becca’s still arguing with me and Grant!” 

“Well, she was on the debate team, boys.” Their dad pats his twin boys on the shoulders. 

Madilyn looks at Gary and he looks at her. Madilyn gets a look of determination as she continues. 

“I have a girlfriend."

Their father takes off his hat and tucks it into the front pocket of his overalls. He glimpses at Madilyn and then nods. “Good, bring her over for dinner.”

Madilyn looks at Gary again, looking a little helpless, and Gary can’t do anything but laugh. While the rest of their family carries on, their mother comes over to Madilyn and encompasses her in a tight hug. 

“Thank you for telling us, dear.” She rubs at Madilyn’s back before she pulls away. “Now sit down so we can have dinner, please. And then after dinner I want to hear about your girlfriend.” 

Their mother walks away, grabbing plates out of the cabinet. Gary smirks at Madilyn when Madilyn takes a seat with a confused look on her face. It’s safe to say that Madilyn had expected a larger reaction, and now that she hasn’t been given one she’s thrown off her game. 

Gary helps his mom hand out plates and then helps hand out the silverware as his mother comes to set dishes throughout the table. Once everyone is seated and everyone has a drink, they finally dig in. 

Madilyn still hasn’t moved, looking like she’s trying to work out an equation in her head. It makes Gary chuckle, and he makes sure to plop a large heap of mashed potatoes on her plate. Madilyn breaks out of her reverie when she sees this, gasping at the ungodly serving Gary has gifted her. 

“Gary!” Madilyn exclaims with a laugh in her voice. 

“Eat dinner,” Gary tells her, mockingly stern. 

Everything’s… normal after that. 

They finish dinner, and then Gary’s dad starts a fire in the backyard with the help of Emma and Beau. Gary’s dad uses that moment to teach both Garrison and Michael on how to start a fire, how to properly put a fire out, and what they could use to create a fire if they need to. Gary’s dad makes sure to stress that they don’t play with fire - and then gives Grant a very pointed look. 

“Dad,” Grant says, putting his hands up. “I’m sorry I burnt the rug. But I was nine. You have to let it go. I’m thirty now.” 

Gary stands on the back porch, his elbows on the rough banister and his foot resting on the underside. He watches as Grant and Graham assault Madilyn with a hundred questions about her girlfriend, and watches as Madilyn answers each one with a loving smile. Becca throws a few empty threats out there; that she’s going to embarrass Madilyn when she meets Jasmine, and then Becca swears that she’s going to become Jasmine’s new best friend. 

“Too late,” Madilyn laughs as she sits beside her sister in the worn camping chair. “Gary has taken that roll.” 

Becca gasps, her head snapping in Gary’s direction. 

Gary laughs as he straightens up, lifting his arms with a shrug. “I would say I’d fight you for it, but you’re not much competition.” 

Gary’s response elicits most of his siblings to go “ooooooh!” while Becca just laughs. 

“You win this one, Gary!” Becca points at him before she returns to Madilyn. 

The sky has grown dark and Gary’s family grows comfortable around the fire. 

His phone buzzes in his back pocket, so Gary heads inside. He doesn’t even look, knowing that it’s already the same unknown number that’s been calling. 

“Hey,” Gary breathes, sounding nothing but happy. Relaxed. 

_“How’d it go?”_ Ghost inquires. Gary can hear the clicking of Ghost’s fingers against the keyboard, probably typing up a report on the mission he and Soap just got back on. 

“So well,” Gary smiles as he takes refuge in the laundry room. He can see his family from here, out of the large windows that makes up the laundry room. “Madilyn’s happy.” 

The typing stops, and Gary can hear Ghost pick up the phone and take it off of speaker. His voice is closer, clearer as he speaks to Gary. 

_“That’s great, Roach. I’m glad you could be there for her.”_

“Me too,” Gary agrees. 

There’s a pause before Ghost speaks again. 

_“Soap hasn’t woken up. He needs sleep so I’m not going to wake him up either,”_ Ghost is moving a few things around as he speaks. _“So the debriefing will happen tomorrow. Sound good?”_

“Yeah.” Gary’s relieved, to be honest. He’s not sure he has the mental or emotional energy to go through a debriefing right now. He’s been so consumed with his family today that a break is nice. “How long do I have you for?” 

_“As long as you want me,”_ Ghost answers easily. _“I’m just submitting some documents in the meantime.”_

Gary grins, leaning against the green painted wall. “I bet you wish I was there right now.” 

_“For many reasons,”_ Ghost says with a sigh. _“One reason is that you do this blasted paperwork far better than I do.”_

Gary’s beaming at Ghost’s words. He feels content with his answer… pleased more than he could explain. 

“I’d love to hear those other reasons,” Gary prods. The nuance in his voice doesn't go unnoticed, he's sure.

Ghost huffs out a laugh. _“Don’t want you getting a big head there, bug.”_

“Sorry,” Gary retorts. “I don’t have that quality. Only you and Soap do.” 

_“Good one,”_ Ghost’s voice is fond with his response. 

Gary runs his free hand through his hair before allowing it to fall at his side. He takes in a breath, then exhales. He's missed this banter, the back and forth that always came so easy when he and Ghost finally got to know each other. The same banter that they throw at each other after a hard mission, sitting at their respective desks as they tie the loose ends together. Gary misses Ghost...

And then Gary realizes what Ghost is telling him. That what Gary's been feeling is what Ghost has been feeling too - even if Ghost hasn't said it outright. 

Gary takes a breath and says what he meant to hours ago. “I miss you too, you know.” 

Ghost doesn’t have a chance to respond since the silence in the laundry room is broken by a loud whisper. 

“Gary!” His mother’s voice pierces through the dim room. “Are you talking to a girl?” His mom sounds excited, and then she lets out a little startled noise at her own words. “Or a boy? My goodness, I should have learned after Madilyn coming out that I shouldn’t assume.” 

Gary can hear Ghost laughing when he moves the phone away from his ear, partially covering the speaker as he whispers back.

  
  
“It’s work,” Gary says with an awkward smile. 

“Oh!” His mom waves her hands apologetically. “Honey, I’m sorry for interrupting. I hope I didn’t embarrass you.” 

“It’s okay, Mom!” Gary laughs airily. “You didn’t embarrass me.”

“Okay, honey, I love you. We’ll be outside when you’re done with work.” 

“Okay,” Gary tells her.

She walks away so Gary puts his phone back to his ear.

Gary’s sheepish as he says, “Sorry.”

_“What did you call yourself last time we talked? My girlfriend back home?”_

“Shut up,” Gary grumbles through a smile. A smile that only widens when he hears Ghost laugh. 

_“You’ve got a cute family, Roach.”_

Gary looks out at his family, sitting around the fire. They’ve started to sing now, and Graham’s waving his arm as if that’s helping them stay in tune. It’s not. They’re all too loud and offkey, but Gary loves it. 

“Yeah, they are pretty cute.” Gary agrees with fondness in his voice.

_“You’re not excluded from that, bug.”_

  
  
By the time that Gary realizes that Ghost just called him cute, Ghost is moving on. 

_“Go be with your family. Tomorrow’s Saturday, right? Soap and I will call you in the morning.”_

Gary knows there’s no arguing so he nods. “I’ll listen. Just this once.” 

_“I’m your lieutenant. You should be listening to me more often.”_

Gary holds back a laugh, but it’s clear in the tenseness of his voice that he’s amused. “Goodnight, Ghost.” 

_“Sleep tight, Roach.”_

Gary disconnects the call, glimpsing out at his family again to smile at their silliness. He pockets his phone and decides he should join them before the night grows too late. So he jogs outside, hopping down the deck steps and claiming the first empty chair at the fire. 

“There he is!” Emma announces. “We’re leaving, but the kids wanted to say goodbye.” 

Garrison and Michael run over and Gary wraps them in a hug with each arm. He squeezes them tight enough to make the kids giggle before he releases them. The kids run back to their parents after shouting their goodbyes to their Uncle Gary. Emma and her family gives their farewells as the remaining Sandersons wave them goodbye. 

“Mom said you were talking to work,” Madilyn butts in. She leans over to offer Gary a beer. “Was it Simon calling you back?” 

Gary pushes the tin in and the fizz of the beer settles. “Yes it was,” Gary says nonchalantly before he takes a sip of the bitter beer. 

Madilyn smiles at Gary like she knows something he doesn’t, but he doesn’t ask. He keeps his eyes on the fire, so Madilyn turns to her other side to talk to Becca and Champ. The couple are sharing a chair, with Becca in Champ’s lap, one arm around his shoulders. Gary’s parents are on the other side of the fire, sat in matching chairs, and holding hands. 

It’s peaceful, Gary thinks, tipping his head back to stare up at the sky. It’s dark enough that the stars are out, brighter than usual. 

Gary has that same thought that's been plaguing him for a while now. Ghost should be here for this. So he pulls out his phone, tips his head back, and snaps a picture of the night sky. It only takes a few seconds for Gary to attach it to a blank text and send it over to Ghost. 

An hour passes. At some point Gary’s parents throw in the towel and head inside to go to bed. Becca and Champ leave next. Making Madilyn and Gary the only two left. 

Madilyn hands Gary his third beer, and Gary takes it. He’s comfortable and buzzed, and will probably sleep like a rock tonight. He and Madilyn clink their cans together, finishing their beers in silence over the next half hour. Finally, the pair grow too tired and make their way inside. Neither want to fall asleep outside and be feasted on by mosquitoes. 

Madilyn makes it to the couch before she’s out, already snoring into the couch pillow. 

Gary treks up the stairs, making it into his room. He has just enough energy to kick his pants and shoes off, plug his phone into the charger, before he flops down onto his bed. 

He has one last thought before he falls asleep. 

He hopes Ghost liked his picture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! I've been trying to finish some future chapters but they've gotten long... So I'm going to go ahead and post this for some warm Sanderson family moments. Chapter 9 and 10 are in the works now : ) 
> 
> I'm not sure if anyone else does the same thing while writing, but I jump around a lot. So I have about the last two chapters of this fic finished... but have to write some more chapters in between before we get there. Thanks for your patience with me!
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting :D 
> 
> Also, look forward to next chapter!!


	8. Returning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Please check out this amazing art: https://twitter.com/mtfuji00/status/1278928844922089473?s=21.
> 
> I can't believe that this little story inspired something so beautiful. Thank you so much to the artist for this! I hold it near and dear to my heart, and I look at it every time I need inspiration! Thank you <3

Gary stirs the next morning, feeling the ray of sun warming up his feet. He tosses, and then turns, and then groans when he knows that he’s not going to be falling back asleep any time soon. Saturdays are _meant_ for sleeping in, yet Gary’s internal clock is so messed up that he can kiss that dream goodbye. 

Gary sits on the edge of his bed, toes touching the warm hardwood floor. Today is _hot._ His whole bedroom hangs with a heavy warmth. Gary turns to make sure his bedroom window is open - which it is - but it seems that there’s no cool breeze to help deal with today's hot weather. 

Gary checks the old digital clock beside his bed. 7:36AM. 

Ugh. Gary scrubs a hand down his face. He’s not sure what he’s going to do today, if anything. He could be lazy and lounge around… but he gets bored easily. 

He sees a blinking blue light on his phone so Gary picks it up to view the notification. 

A text. 

_Unknown number [6:30AM]_

_Call when you wake up._

Right. The debriefing. 

Gary moves to the small desk in the corner of his room, one that he’s had since he was in middle school. It used to be a nice wooden desk, but, like most children, Gary ruined it by putting stickers all over it and carving his name in it. 

He opens the computer, turns on his hotspot, and waits. 

It takes a minute or two before a call comes through, and when it does Gary’s in the middle of a yawn. 

He answers, face still scrunched through his yawn. He sighs contentedly once his yawn passes, and blinks through his teary eyes. 

Soap’s in his chair, leaning back, feet up on his desk and his hands interlocked over his stomach. He looks fairly tired himself, but he’s showered and dressed. Gary can’t say the same. 

_“Morning, Roach,”_ Soap greets, turning his head from side to side to crack his neck. _“Did you just wake up?”_

Gary’s shoulders shake with a small laugh. “Yes, sir.” 

_“Good. I’ll get this briefing done and then we can both go back to bed, how does that sound?”_

Gary opens his mouth to respond, but he’s interrupted by a knock on his door - gentle and barely there. 

“Gary, honey, are you awake?” His mom asks carefully. 

“Yeah, I’m awake, Mom.” 

“Okay, good. I just wanted to let you know that your father and I are leaving for the cabin again so you’ll have the place to yourself all weekend.” 

Gary stands from his chair, moving to his bedroom door and opening it. He’s in his sleep shirt and boxers, his hair still a mess, which makes his mom grin. 

“Looks like you slept well,” she jokes as Gary leans in for a hug. 

“I did,” Gary agrees, kissing his mom on the cheek. “Drive safe, okay?” 

“I’ll tell your father,” she jokes as she turns and heads down the stairs. “It’s going to get hot today. Turn on the AC, we don’t run that enough. Call me if you need me!” 

“Bye, Mom,” Gary says before he shuts the door and returns to his desk. 

He scoots closer in his chair, finding both Soap and Ghost on the other end of the video call now. Ghost appears to have rolled over to Soap’s desk in his chair, leaning back and taking on the same relaxed position. Gary knows it’s late for them over there, so that would explain why they both look ready to sleep. 

“Sorry,” Gary gives a little laugh. 

_“Mate, you were in your boxers last time we called. Are you usually this naked when we speak to you?”_

“I’ll keep the mystery open,” Gary jokes as he situates his screen. 

_“How salacious,”_ Soap purrs, waggling his brows to add to the joke. He then sits up straighter, wheeling closer to the webcam. He’s typing as he says, _“Now I know why you’re so good at taking care of my soldiers. You take after your mom.”_

Gary runs his fingers through his already mused hair, laughing at Soap’s words. “Hey, I don’t want to be the doting mother of the 141.” 

_“Too late,”_ Soap says as his eyes move around his computer screen. He’s clearly not looking at Gary. 

“Then what does that make you?” 

_“I’m obviously the fun drunk uncle and Ghost is the harsh father who shows his love by being mean.”_

_“Soap, you need to sleep,”_ Ghost grumbles from behind, and Soap just laughs. 

Gary spends the next hour and a half with Soap and Ghost, listening raptly as the two go over the details of how they spent their three weeks. It sounded rough, and cold… and Gary wishes he could have been there. It’s an odd war within his mind; that he’s glad he's home with his family, he’s _glad_ he’s here. It's not that he’s not taking this time for granted...

But he wants to be there with Ghost and Soap. 

Soap places his pen down on his desk at the end of his debriefing. 

_“Well, Roach, I’d start running laps again. I think we’ll have you back here within the next two months.”_ Soap says with a grin, scratching at the edge of his stubble. 

“I’ve been gone for four months,” Gary comments, crossing his arms over his chest and resting his elbows on the table. “I haven’t run laps for the last two of them. I think I’ve grown too soft to comeback.” 

_“Oi, don’t say those words,”_ Soap scolds teasingly. _“I need my sergeant back. And most importantly, my lieutenant needs his sergeant back.”_

Soap stands at the end of his statement, reaching over to clap Ghost on the shoulder. _“Alright, lads. I’m headed to bed. Have fun staring into each other’s eyes.”_

Ghost shakes his head at Soap’s ribbing. He grabs onto the desk and pulls himself forward. 

_“Good morning, princess,”_ Ghost’s voice is smooth and deep as always, and Gary feels his face flush at the term of endearment. He remembers his dream, although it’s been over a month now. He still remembers what it felt like to have Ghost’s mouth on his skin…

“Good evening, _Ghost,_ ” Gary says pointedly, glowering at Ghost on screen. 

His companion only laughs as he leans back in his chair, one arm up on the desk and the other resting on the arm chair.

_“You look lovely in sunlight, I should start calling you in the morning more often.”_ Ghost quips. He pulls the lower half of his mask up, folding it so his mouth is revealed for Gary’s viewing. Ghost grabs a water bottle that was just out of sight, and then brings it to his lips. 

Gary watches silently, waiting for Ghost to finish. Ghost caps the bottle, brushing off his chapped lips with the back of his hand. He doesn’t bother putting the mask back down. 

_“Have you eaten?”_

“Not yet,” Gary tugs at the neck of his shirt a few times to get some air flow between his body and the fabric. It’s starting to reach a new level of discomfort the longer the sun heats up his bedroom. “Did you?” 

_“Nothing remarkable, but yes.”_ Ghost scratches at the back of his neck, under his mask. _“I’ve been saving up all of those dry packaged brownies from the mess hall for you.”_

Gary’s laughing at the admission, looking at Ghost with uncertainty. “There’s no way you have a four month stash of those brownies.” 

_“Of course I do. It’s not that many… we only get one a week.”_

Gary shakes his head, looking at his lieutenant fondly. “That means you have almost twenty brownies.” 

Ghost shrugs coolly as he says, _“They say I’m a bad boy. I have to live up to it somehow.”_

“And stashing the mess hall brownies for me is the best way to do that?” 

_“Clearly.”_

Ghost smiles. A crooked smile, with sharp canines. It’s playful. And Gary’s heart skips a beat. Handsome comes to mind before Gary pushes the thought away. Sure, Ghost is handsome… Gary can recognize that. Gary always knew Ghost was a looker. But now Gary’s heart is doing funny things, and Gary feels the heat in his cheeks which means he’s blushing. 

Gary clears his throat and speaks, so he doesn’t have to hear his thoughts. 

“I thought you didn’t play favorites.” 

Ghost shrugs once more, slipping his gloves off his callused hands. He's teasing as he says, _“Every bad boy has a soft spot.”_

Gary’s face flushes hot, so he narrows his eyes and tries to hide how affected he is by Ghost’s words. 

Ghost’s head falls back against his chair as he laughs at Gary’s reaction. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Gary accuses. “Why don’t you start a hotline? You’d make a lot of money making women swoon.” 

Ghost is casual and quick as he grabs the base of his mask. He pulls it up, leaving it around his head like a beanie. Gary’s breath catches - how could it not? It’s been so long since he's seen Ghost’s face. A hot flash of arousal curls around Gary’s spine and spills down to his groin, making Gary shiver. 

Ghost has a scar on his right eyebrow, and dark brown eyes that make Gary feel weak when they’re on him. He has a few pink scratches along his cheek bone, most likely from the last mission, that are in the process of healing. Ghost’s stubble remains on his face, black to match the hair hidden under his mask.

_“Am I making you swoon, Roach?”_ His voice is low, with an underlying raspiness to it.

Gary’s lips part, feeling himself growing hard in his boxers. He averts his eyes to the side as he tries to regain his thoughts.

“Are you getting sick?” Gary avoids the question, eyes flitting back to the screen. Ghost is still smiling… infuriatingly smug. He seems amused by these turns of events. “Or have you been smoking again? 

Ghost lets the teasing go and answers honestly. _“No, Roach. I haven’t been smoking.”_

“Have some hot tea,” Gary instructs. “I think there’s some hidden in the cafeteria. In the back of the pantry. It’ll help you sleep too-” 

_“Roach, remember when you said you didn’t want to be the doting mother of the 141?”_

Gary looks down at the screen, his skin feeling overheated when he meets Ghost’s dark eyes. He swallows before he shifts in his seat, trying to will away his erection. It’s not getting any better, especially when Ghost keeps looking at him like that. 

God, it’s _so_ hot in his room right now. 

“I-” Gary starts, then frowns petulantly. “Yes.”

Ghost’s chuckle is soft and low, head ducking. He glimpses back up, his expression fond as he looks at Gary on his screen. 

Ghost takes in a breath through his nose, shoulders falling when he exhales. _“Alright, bug. I’ve got some sleep to catch up on.”_

Gary nods, but then his cock pulses between his legs. Gary bites the inside of his cheek to prevent a moan. His knees draw together, and he presses his thighs together to try and stop whatever is going on down south. 

“Yes you do,” Gary agrees, his voice sounding tense. 

Ghost seems to mistake Gary’s tone for sadness since he looks somber. _“I’ll bring you and the kids home soon, Roach. Goodnight, dear.”_

Gary’s hoping that he’s gotten enough sun these last few days that his blush is hidden under his sun kissed skin. Gary’s heart flutters in his chest, so he gives Ghost a sheepish nod and a wobbly smile. 

“Goodnight, Ghost.” Gary’s voice is shy, quiet even in the solace of his bedroom. 

Ghost winks at him before he stands, his face out of view of the webcam. His hands are on the desk, one moving the mouse around as he disconnects the call. That last frame is frozen on the screen, with Ghost’s sleeves rolled up, his chest and groin in view, but nothing else. 

Gary stares as long as it takes for the screen to unfreeze. There is text that says the call has been disconnected and shows the duration of the call. It doesn’t feel nearly as long as the system tells him it was. Talking with Ghost always goes too quickly..

Gary’s mind is brought back to the heat behind his legs, something he can no longer ignore. 

Cautiously, Gary looks up at the laptop and then back to the tent in his boxers. He closes his eyes, taking in a calming breath and coming to terms with the fact that… yes. He’s hard because of Ghost. Ghost’s voice, and his teasing, and his face. Just all of Ghost. 

Gary’s eyes roll to the back of his head, allowing a groan of frustration to leave him. 

He’s _annoyed._ With this whole situation. He’s mad that he was forced to go on vacation, he’s mad at himself that he still wants to be with Ghost and Soap on missions, he’s mad that he doesn’t see his family more often, he’s mad that his family are sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for Gary to tell them when he’s finally going to leave again. 

He’s mad for allowing himself to feel this way about Ghost. His lieutenant. 

He’s nothing but contradictions - and he can’t fix any of them.

“Fine,” Gary complains as he reaches for the hem of his shirt. He pulls it off, then throws it over the screen of his laptop. 

He’s heated now, so he stands from his chair and makes his way over to his bed. The thought is almost embarrassing, jerking off in his bedroom like he’s a teenager, but Gary’s so fucking hard he can’t stand it anymore. 

Gary thinks about jerking off back on base. In his shower, or in his own confines. He didn’t have a big room, but it was his room, and it was private. Gary never did anything fancy. Never needed anything fancy either. Just his hands and some spit was enough to get Gary cumming. Always quick and just to release some tension. 

But now… Gary wants more. He wishes he had someone, had their hands on his body… 

Gary wants Ghost. 

He groans when he finally gets his hand around his cock, squeezing to alleviate some tension. He fucks himself, desperate enough that he doesn’t bother spitting in his dry hand. His cock leaks more than he’s used to - he guesses it’s from not getting off in a while - but he uses it, spreading it around the head of his cock to slick himself up. 

Pre-cum drips from his member, landing on his bed sheets. Gary knows he’ll have to wash them later, which will be a hassle, but he needs to come. He moves his hand faster, rocking his hips into his fist, wanting to come so badly. 

He feels so close, to the point where his head is swimming and he’s not thinking clearly. Exhaustion creeps in, since his muscles are tense and he’s knelt on all fours atop his covers, so Gary bends over, ass in the air, his face pressed into the crevice of his arm. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Gary breathes against his skin. 

He pictures Ghost behind him, Ghost’s hands on his waist, Ghost’s cock pressed against his ass. 

Gary cums seconds later, spilling over his bed sheets with a choked sound. He strokes himself through it, milking himself of everything his orgasm can give until Gary can’t take it anymore. 

He falls to the side, beside the stain on his covers, and just stares up at the ceiling.

Slowly, he takes in a breath… and then another. Gary’s boneless for a few minutes, but he finally slides off the bed and stands on wobbly knees. 

He strips his bed, mind still spinning, and tosses the dirtied sheets near the door. 

Gary works on autopilot as he strips himself out of his boxers, tossing those on the pile too, and then grabbing his sleep shirt off his laptop and tossing it on top of his covers. He’ll gather a few other things to throw in the washing machine too… but he wants to shower first. 

When the water is running and Gary’s waiting for it to heat up, Gary thinks that maybe he should talk to Madilyn about _this_ … These feelings.

Maybe she can help. 

-

Gary dries himself off after his shower, then lazily slings the towel around his waist. He’ll throw his bed sheets in the washing machine, and will run downstairs to turn on the AC like his mom requested. 

Once Gary’s done completing those tasks, he looks out the window and wonders what he’s going to do today. He’s not stuck on the farm, he still has the old beaten farm truck to take him to town. If he wanted to go to town. But he doesn’t have that urge in the slightest. 

Gary wouldn’t mind a lazy day in his room. Maybe laying on his bed and reading a book. The only problem with that option is Gary knows he won’t be able to get his mind off of Ghost. And what he did this morning to the _thought_ of Ghost. 

With a sigh, Gary treks back up to his room. He recalls Soap telling him that he should start running again. That’s not a half bad idea...

Gary finds himself an old gray shirt that the sleeves are already cut off of. It’s stretched out and will help so Gary doesn’t roast in the sun. He’s wearing a pair of army-issued shorts, since that’s all he packed when he was coming home. He didn't expect to be gone as long as he has been, otherwise he would have packed better work out clothes. 

There are a pair of headphones Gary still hasn’t opened up. He’s not sure which one of his siblings got them for him - probably Grant since he works at an electronics store… Gary turns the package around and sees a half-off sticker. 

Yeah, probably Grant. 

He tears those open and plugs them into his phone. Roach isn’t _completely_ clueless when it comes to modern technology, but it does take him a second to find that music app his sisters showed him. The music starts playing, so Gary pockets the phone and begins to stretch. 

He warms up for ten minutes before he decides that’s enough. He’s ready for a mind-numbing run. He jogs down the stairs, already able to tell that the house is cooling down. He throws the door open, making sure to pull it shut behind him. 

And then Gary’s off. Losing himself as he runs down the stretch of the orchard. Trees for miles, and Gary gets to duck underneath them, gets to run through the entirety of the farm. It takes him a while to reach the other end of the orchard, but he feels better so he’s not stopping yet. He runs along the dirt trail that circles the orchard, the trial that branches out throughout the acres of land. 

Gary remembers where each trail leads. He spent his whole childhood exploring his family’s land, after all. 

He’s not sure how long he’s been out, but the air is getting humid and the sky is getting dark. He starts to head back towards the farm, finding himself on their long stretch of driveway. 

Gary doesn’t hear Madilyn’s car approach, since he’s got headphones in, but he sees it creep into his field of vision. 

Gary slows to a walk, and Madilyn’s car stops with him. 

He pops an earbud out, then bends down so he can peer into the vehicle. 

“Hello, soldier!” Madilyn greets from the driver’s seat. She’s got her head ducked as well, to look over Jasmine, who sits in the passenger seat. 

“Morning,” Gary greets through his heavy breathing. “What are you two doing here?” 

“Thought we’d give you some company,” Jasmine’s voice is gentle as she scrunches her nose up at Gary. It’s a trait of her’s when she smiles. 

“If you want it, that is,” Madilyn replies. 

“Definitely,” Gary answers. “Meet you up by the house?” 

“See you there!” Madilyn says as she lets her foot off the break. 

Jasmine sticks her arm out of the window, waving to Gary as they disappear down the driveway. 

Gary manages to keep the car in his vision the whole way up the drive - after all, Madilyn can’t go too fast since the driveaway is gravel, and dirt, and pretty uneven. He can see her park in front of the house, so he jogs past her and to the front stairs. 

Gary grins, placing his hands on his hips.

“Hope you don’t think that was a race, buddy!” Madilyn swings her door shut, then turns to point a finger in Gary’s direction. “I would have won if it was.” 

“Sure,” Gary breathes, his smirk evident on his face. 

“Gary, where did Madilyn get her competitiveness from?” Jasmine asks, completely ignoring her girlfriend as she and Gary start to walk up the stairs. 

“I think Grant and Graham. And I think they got their competitiveness from each other.” Gary shrugs as he holds the door open for her. “Twins.” 

“Okay, ha-ha.” Madilyn gives Gary a pointed look as she walks into the room. “If you two team up against me I’ll be very hurt.” 

Jasmine’s laugh is melodical and soft as she cups Madilyn’s cheek. 

Gary’s not so kind as he bumps his shoulder into Madilyn as he heads to the kitchen. 

“Jasmine, I will fight him.” Madilyn warns jokingly. 

Gary bursts into laughter as he gets himself a cup of water from the sink, and immediately downs it. 

Madilyn and Jasmine come in to join him; Jasmine sits at the table and Madilyn moves to the fridge. She’s already getting things out to start making them lunch. 

“So you’re running again?” Madilyn’s question is careful, glimpsing at Gary out of the corner of her eye. 

Gary leans back against the sink, one arm gripping the counter. He takes in one last breath now that he’s regulated his breathing. He swipes his forearm across his forehead as he nods. 

“Yeah,” Gary begins to fill his glass back up. 

Madilyn’s laying things out on the counter, but Gary can feel her peering at him curiously.

Gary grins, amused with his sister’s odd behavior. He turns to look at her, waiting for the next time she glances over. As expected, Madilyn looks up from the lettuce and meets Gary’s eyes. 

“What?” The siblings say in unison. And then, continuing the trend, they say, “You first.” 

Their eyes narrow while Jasmine laughs. 

“I was just wondering,” Madilyn says easily, shrugging with her words. “Does that mean you’re leaving soon?” 

Gary shrugs in response. “You know that I talk to my lieutenant and my captain. They called me last night, we went over some intel, and they want me back in two months.” 

Madilyn gives a sad smile but she nods understandingly. 

“Hey, don’t look so sad!” Gary says cheerfully. “I have a phone now. I’ll call you every chance I get.” 

Madilyn stops pulling apart the lettuce to glare up at Gary. She looks unsure, tilting her head one way, and then the other as if she’s inspecting him. 

Carefully, Madilyn says, “Promise?” 

“Of course,” Gary’s voice is gentle but reassuring. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll be able to call you every week. Or even every month. Most of the places I’m at are… remote.” 

“Yes, _of course_ , mister secret soldier.” Madilyn pushes at Gary’s shoulder fondly. “I’m glad you’ll at least try to call me more than once a year.” 

Gary’s head falls back on his shoulders as he groans. “Madilyn, we’ve talked about this already. I hadn’t realized how much you guys wanted to hear from me-” 

“Of course we want to hear from you, Gary! We’re your family-” 

Gary looks at Jasmine, shaking his head. “Here we go again.” 

Jasmine laughs at the two bickering siblings. 

“Fine!” Madilyn concedes, lifting her hands up in defeat. She’s made herself a sandwich, and turns around to mimic Gary’s pose unconsciously. It makes Jasmine smile; the two siblings being so similar and not seeing it. 

“How are your soldier buddies?” Madilyn asks before she takes a bite into her sandwich. 

Gary groans, lifting his hand to scrub down his face tiredly. 

“What did I say?!” Madilyn laughs, looking at Jasmine cluelessly. 

“They’re good,” Gary answers with a sigh.

“You’ll have to introduce me one day,” Madilyn motions with her sandwich. She turns her head towards Gary, cheeks full of food. 

“Yeah,” Gary replies sarcastically, huffing out a laugh at his sister’s clueless look. “I’ll get right on that. 

Madilyn shrugs as she takes another bite. “I don’t know what the sarcasm is for. They’d be lucky to know me.” 

Jasmine’s head falls into her hand with a sigh. “My girlfriend is so humble,” she says dryly. 

Madilyn waves a finger between Gary and Jasmine. “I’m going to separate you two. I feel some aggression in this general area.” 

Jasmine stands, coming over to wrap her arm around Madilyn’s waist. Madilyn accommodates, taking her girlfriend in one arm and holding her sandwich in the other. Without comment, Madilyn holds out her sandwich and Jasmine takes a bite. 

“Ugh, couples,” Gary says into his drink. 

He smirks when Jasmine and Madilyn both turn to look at him, faces devoid of emotion.

And then Jasmine says, “Attack.” 

Gary laughs when Madilyn throws a piece of lettuce at his face. It falls into the sink, and Gary steps back to avoid any further retaliations. 

“So are we going to watch a movie then?” Madilyn asks as she finishes her sandwich. “It’s going to rain so we might as well.” 

Gary shrugs, “Sure.” 

“Alright, go get cozy then. We’ll get some snacks.” Madilyn waves Gary away, so he follows his orders and moves to the living room. 

Gary gets the couch ready by moving the pillows around, fluffing the cushions with a few slaps, and pushes the coffee table a little closer for their snacks. 

When Gary looks up, he sees Jasmine and Madilyn teasing each other. Joking as they move easily around each other in the kitchen. They look so natural together that Gary thinks he must have been right. Jasmine and Madilyn definitely fall into the soulmate category. 

Gary lifts his phone discreetly, snapping a picture of the couple being cute in the kitchen. When Gary lowers the phone, he takes a moment to smile at it. He’s happy he’ll have these memories when he goes back...

He wants to share it with Ghost. He wants Ghost to have part of his memories too. Maybe it’s just because Gary wants Ghost to be here too...

So Gary sends the message to his lieutenant before he moves to claim a spot on the couch. He hasn’t even taken a seat yet when his phone buzzes in his hand.

Gary plops down at the end of the couch with a smile on his face. He hadn’t expected to get anything back, and truthfully he wishes Ghost was getting some sleep… but that doesn’t stop him from lighting up at Ghost’s text. 

_Unknown Number [1:18PM]_

_Cute family._

Gary rolls his eyes as he writes back. 

_[1:18PM]_

_Go to sleep._

Gary’s still staring at the screen when he gets another reply. 

_Unknown Number [1:19PM]_

_Wish I could. Side hurts. Took a fall when with Soap._

_[1:19PM]_

_How bad?_

_Unknown Number [1:19PM]_

_Not one to bitch and moan._

_[1:20PM]_

_I already know you’re a tough guy. Tell me already._

Gary feels worry nip at his fingertips as he waits for Ghost’s reply. He hates knowing that Ghost’s in pain… enough that it’s keeping him awake. 

_Unknown Number [1:21PM]_

_Image._

Gary’s eyes narrow. The picture is hard to see, since it’s dark, and small on Gary’s screen. He clicks on the image as he sits forward to get a better look. 

It’s of Ghost’s side, stretched out for the picture. Ghost is shirtless in the picture, with his arm tucked up behind his head - which is out of view of the camera. Gary can see the muscles in Ghost’s arm, trailing his eyes down, eyes falling on Ghost’s pectorals. And then Gary sees the creepings of a nasty bruise. 

The bruise is along Ghost’s ribs, black and blue in the center, while purple and yellow around the edges. So it’s healing at least. But it’s large... no doubt incredibly painful. 

“Gary, what are you looking at?” 

Gary’s heart skips a beat. He was startled out of his reverie, but he doesn’t show it. He backs out of the picture and looks up at Madilyn. His sister stands at the edge of the couch, a drink in either hand. 

“Nothing,” Gary waves off. “Just a picture.” 

“Of some _boobs_.” Madilyn laughs as she leans over. She sets the glasses down on the coffee table. “Whose boobs? Also, how is my brother getting boob pics?” 

Gary’s face flushes as he gives Madilyn an incredulous look. 

“What’s going on?” Jasmine asks as she comes into the room with her arms full of snacks. She’s careful as she sets those down on the coffee table too. 

“Gary’s looking at boobs.” Madilyn accuses childishly. 

Gary knows his sister is teasing but that doesn’t stop his blush. 

“I am _not.”_ Gary laughs out sufferingly. 

“Hey, I’m not judging,” Madilyn lifts her hands up as she steps past Gary. She throws herself down on the couch. “I look at boobs too.” 

Gary falls back against the couch, glowering at his sister. 

“Look, all I’m saying is you’re guilty until proven innocent.” Madilyn shrugs, reaching forward to grab a handful of chips. 

Gary sighs, opening his text messages. He’s going to text Ghost back while Madilyn’s still having her fun. 

_[1:25PM]_

_Painkillers in my desk. Go grab them._

Gary clicks on the picture again then turns the screen to Madilyn. Jasmine’s settling down on Madilyn’s other side, curling her feet underneath herself to get comfortable. The couple lean in, eyes narrowing in unison as they study the picture. 

“Oh,” Madilyn says, then shrugs. “Okay, a man tiddy. I missed the armpit hair. Either way, you’re looking at boobs.” 

“That bruise is bad,” Jasmine grimaces, settling back on the couch. 

“It’s my lieutenant,” Gary’s words are pointed in Madilyn’s direction. In a way to say _ha, it’s work._

Madilyn shrugs as she pops another chip into her mouth. “Your lieutenant has nice pecs.” 

Gary huffs out a laugh from his nose. 

“You’re ridiculous,” he tells his sister fondly.

And then realization dawns on Madilyn’s face, head snapping in Gary’s direction. 

“Wait, is that Simon?” Madilyn talks around her food, shoving another chip into her mouth as she talks. 

“Uh-” Gary replies, but Madilyn takes that as an answer. 

“Holy shit, Simon’s got a nice body!” Madilyn exclaims, turning Gary’s phone back to her so she can look at the picture. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m super gay, but _wow_.” 

Gary holds out his phone expectantly, giving her a very pointed look. Madilyn sighs dejectedly as she puts the phone back in Gary’s palm. 

“Fine,” Madilyn grumbles. “There’s nothing wrong with appreciating a man’s jacked body.” 

Jasmine collapses back into the corner of the couch, laughing loudly at her girlfriend’s antics. Even Gary’s laughing along. 

His laughter softens, and dies off when he sees his phone screen light up. 

Gary presses it to his ear, standing up and vacating the couch. 

“Hey!” Madilyn calls, “Movie time!” 

“Hello?” Gary greets, ignoring his sister’s calls. 

_“Roach, where are these painkillers?”_

Gary moves around the corner, hiding himself in the kitchen. He’s just a few feet away from his sister and Jasmine, but it’s enough privacy for this short call. 

“Second drawer on the right,” Gary answers. “I also have a balm in there that you should put on the bruise. It’ll numb it.” 

_“Sounds like I’ll sleep like a baby,”_ Ghost jokes. Gary can hear Ghost rummaging through his desk. 

“You better,” Gary threatens emptily. “What would you do without me?” 

_“Suffer,”_ Ghost answers before Gary hears the sound of his drawer closing. _“Found it.”_

“Don’t take more than two. Okay? They’re strong and you’ll suffer for it tomorrow morning.” Gary warns. “And don’t use too much of the balm or else your hands will be numb for hours.” 

Ghost’s chuckle is warm and low on the other end of the line. 

_“I’m not used to being on the other end of your babying, Roach.”_

“Yeah,” Gary rolls his eyes with a fond smile. “That’s because you’re one of the few people in the 141 that has common sense. You wouldn’t let me baby you anyway.” 

_“You’re right about that,”_ Ghost says. Gary can hear him uncapping the balm. _“I’m too busy babying you.”_

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Gary’s mockingly stern, and that makes Ghost chuckle again. 

Gary turns and moves slowly to the living room. He knows Ghost is going to go to bed as soon as he pops those painkillers.

_“Alright, princess. I’m going to get some water and then I’m off to sleep. Thanks for the painkillers.”_

“You’re welcome,” Gary tells him, then lowers his voice as he says, “also, stop calling me that.”

_“Why? Like it too much?”_

Gary flushes through his next words, “Go to bed already.” 

Madilyn hears Gary’s approach, but isn’t looking at him. She’s watching the screen as Jasmine flickers through movies, so she doesn’t realize that Gary’s still on the phone. 

“Was that Simon? Did you ask him to send more nudes?” Madilyn finally turns to look at Gary over her shoulder, with a smile that clearly says she’s joking. She had thought it was a good joke too, until she sees that Gary’s still got the phone pressed to his ear. 

Her smile falls immediately. 

Ghost’s laughter fills Gary’s ear, and then Ghost softly says, _“Hello Madilyn.”_

“He says hi,” Gary glowers at his sister. 

Madilyn grimaces as she lifts a hand and waves.

_“If you wanted another picture you could have asked,”_ Ghost teases. 

Gary’s eyes roll to the back of his head, annoyed yet amused. “ _Madilyn_ is asking. Not me. She was being nosy and saw your picture.” 

“It was an _accident_ ,” Madilyn corrects, “but accident or not, I did see his picture. It was a very nice picture.” 

_“Maybe you should send me one, Roach. Just to make it even.”_

“I will _not_.” Gary retorts, getting a confused look from Madilyn. “Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?” 

Ghost’s laugh is easy-going and low. _“Very well. Goodnight, Roach.”_

“Goodnight, _Simon_.” 

Gary pulls the phone back and clicks the red phone. 

“Maddie!” Jasmine scolds, “That’s his lieutenant. You have to be more careful. You could get him a lot of shit for that.”

“I’m sorry!” Madilyn apologizes as Gary sits down on the couch. “I didn’t know you were still on the phone. You move like a freaking ghost. I thought you hung up.” 

Gary looks at Madilyn out of the corner of his eye, then can’t hold back his smile much longer. He shakes his head fondly as he reaches out to pat her knee. 

“Jasmine’s right. Most people would be in hot shit for that. But Simon’s not like that. He thought it was funny. Mostly because he loves watching me suffer.” 

“Good, I’ll cause more suffering for his sake then.” Madilyn chews on her snacks, but turns to give Gary a shit-eating grin. 

Gary holds Madilyn’s gaze for a second longer, but she doesn’t cave. So Gary just shakes his head with a scoff. 

“You’re a pain in my ass.” Gary comments as he reaches out for a chip. 

“That’s what I was born to be,” Madilyn replies as the movie starts to play. “It’s the first bullet point in the Little Sister’s Handbook.” 

Jasmine shushes Madilyn with a fond smile, leaning over so she can rest on Madilyn’s leg. 

The movie begins, and the three grow silent. 

-

The movie ends, so Gary tells the two that he’s going to get his laundry out of the dryer. Gary has an armful of his sheets, trekking up the stairs while Madilyn looks through the kitchen. Jasmine suggests recipes they can use, and Madilyn _‘ooo’s’_ hungrily at each thought. 

“I’m going to hop in the shower!” Gary calls from upstairs. 

“Okay! We’re going to start cooking!” Madilyn returns. 

Gary throws his sheets on his bed to be worried about later. 

And then Gary stands in the stillness of his bedroom. He can hear Jasmine and Madilyn talking gently from downstairs. Their voices are muffled, and nothing can be made out, so it makes Gary feel far away. Like he’s not truly in his bedroom. 

Gary works on muscle memory, undressing himself, turning the shower on, washing himself under the lukewarm spray. He’s not sure why he feels so off. It’s like an out-of-body experience. As if he’s watching himself in a movie…

It’s like Gary’s mind is buzzing with a hundred thoughts at once, yet he can’t focus on any of them. 

He just feels like he has so much to do. It’s as if he was just finally given a time limit. Maybe it’s _finally_ hitting him that he’s going to be back with the 141.

He’ll have to break the news to his family. 

Gary presses his forehead against the shower wall with a thunk. He won't be looking forward to that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I'm still filling in the gaps for Chapter 9 (it's so long), but Chapter 10 is nearly edited and ready... just have to get there first! Thanks for the comments!


	9. Normal

A week passes without any communication from Ghost and Soap. Gary tries not to think about it. He’s been spoiled too much lately with their constant calls and updates. He has to understand that they’re not going to call and just _talk._

That’s not what they do. That’s not the kind of relationship they have. Gary has to remind himself that. 

Saturday morning comes, and Gary’s surprised to see his whole family in the kitchen. He’s still barefoot, with an old t-shirt on and worn jeans. He didn’t know they had plans… 

“Hey, Gar,” Graham smiles as he pulls his shorter brother into his side. "Ready?"

Gary’s arm naturally wraps around Graham’s waist as he looks around the room, confusion evident on his face. “Ready for what exactly?” 

“Day camping!” Gary’s mother says excitedly. She turns to put a tray of food in Grant’s hands. Grant turns, giving Graham and Gary a big wide grin as he walks past. Graham lets go of Gary so he can walk forward and take the package of grill tools his mother is handing over. 

Graham pats Gary on the head with a pair of tongs as he heads outside to help pack up the truck. 

“No one told me about camping…” Gary trails off confusedly as Emma and Becca walk up behind him. Emma throws her arms over Gary’s shoulders, hugging him tightly. 

Becca shares Gary’s look of confusion, placing her hands on the back of one of the kitchen chairs. She looks at Emma, and then at her mom, and then at Graham and Grant as they walk back inside. 

“Did no one tell Gary about day camping?” Becca asks, lifting her hands expectantly. 

Graham flinches back as if the answer is obvious. “No, why would we? We’ve been doing it for, like, the last five years. It’s not a new tradition.” 

Everyone in the room, even Grant, gives Graham an exasperated look. 

“What?” Graham asks sheepishly. 

“Gary hasn’t been here for the last five years, doofus.” Becca snips, rolling her eyes at Graham’s airheadedness. 

Gary laughs lightly - laughs through the awkward feeling. “It’s fine, guys. Really.” 

Emma unwinds her arms from around Gary’s neck, gripping onto his shoulder instead to give a reassuring squeeze. 

“I’m sorry, Gar.” His mom says with a frown. “I should have been more thoughtful. Do you have plans? We’d love it if you’d come.” 

“Of course I don’t have plans,” Gary smirks, and is glad to see his siblings smile in return. “And _of course_ I want to come day camping.”

“Good,” his mom relaxes visibly, shoulders falling in relief. “Madilyn is going to meet us there. She’s bringing her girlfriend.” 

“Great, I’ll have someone who will understand how crazy all of my siblings are.” Gary teases loud enough for his brothers and sisters to hear. 

“Deep cut, Gar. That hurts.” Grant feigns hurt with a pout dramatic enough that Gary snorts. 

“No more horsing around!” Their father enters through the front door, his face red with exertion. He smiles happily at his children, clapping his chubby hands together. “Let’s get going!”

The family gathers the last few things before they head out to their vehicles. Gary’s parents in the truck with all of the food and camping gear, Emma and Beau with their kids in the back, Becca and Champ in their car, and Grant and Graham in theirs. 

Gary’s choices as to who he can ride with are limited. His parents’ truck is too full for him to fit, and Emma’s car is already a full house. He ends up choosing Grant and Graham since his lovable, goofy brothers root for him. Becca lets them have it, sticking her tongue out as her and her husband pass them. 

Gary laughs from the back seat when Grant and Graham crack joke over joke. He wishes he was as clever as Grant and Graham are. And they understand each other so well. Gary knows he and his siblings are lucky to all have each other, but there's no doubt the twins have something special. 

Grant and Graham pull into the campsite a little too roughly, but Gary’s enjoying the roughhousing. It’s been awhile since he’s gotten to fuck around, and Grant and Graham always know how to mess around so harmlessly. 

They pull up to the campsite, with Grant slamming on the brakes just enough to get the car to slide forward a few inches. The twins stick their heads out the window, hollering and whooping loudly. 

Gary laughs as he gets out, quick to get away from his showoff brothers. 

“Glad to see Grant and Graham didn’t kill you.” Becca comments, giving Gary a pointed look. 

“There were a few moments…” Gary agrees, but comes over to throw an arm around Becca’s shoulders. She sneaks her arm around his waist as they walk up to the campsite. 

They work on unpacking everything for the next hour. Emma and Beau drop the kids off at the daycare center, where the boys will get round trek through campsite with other kids their age doing a scavenger hunt. 

And then, when the group talks about what they want to do first, Gary plops down in one of the empty chairs near the firepit. The empty fire pit. Gary hopes someone piles that full of wood soon and lights it. He wants to smell the campfire smoke surrounding them. That’ll really make it feel like camping once that happens. For now he'll sit in the humid temperatures and wait for his family to finally make a decision. Something they often struggle with. 

Madilyn shows up while everyone’s still talking, hand in hand with Jasmine. Gary grins at them when they approach, giving a kind wave, which they return with maximum enthusiasm.

Madilyn goes right into introducing Jasmine to everyone, so Gary waits until they’re done. Madilyn looks pretty nervous, more nervous than Jasmine, and that's saying something. Luckily, they both relax pretty fast. Gary will give his family one thing; they’re great at warm welcomes. Jasmine’s greeted with open arms from everyone - Gary can tell how relieved she is to see how easygoing the Sandersons are. 

Gary decides to make his way over, especially when the rest of the Sandersons start to get lost in their day plans once again. 

“Hey,” Gary says as he pulls Jasmine into a hug. “Not nervous anymore, right?” 

“Not at all,” Jasmine grins as she and Gary pull back. “I can’t believe how easy this was. Madilyn told me all about her coming out, and your mom’s reaction.”

Madilyn puts a hand over her eyes in embarrassment. “I feel awful that I was worried about it for so long,” she tells Gary. “I should have come out with it sooner.” 

“Hey,” Gary bumps his knuckles reassuringly against Madilyn’s chin. “You came out when you were ready. And you had a wonderful and patient girlfriend who waited with you and supported you along the way. Look around? Doesn’t it kind of feel like perfect timing? Like it all fell into place right when it needed to?” 

Madilyn comes out of hiding in favor of giving Gary a fond look. Her eyes then dart over to Jasmine, her fondness softening to adoration. 

“That's exactly what Jasmine said. Maybe there’s a reason you two are my favorite people in the whole world.” 

“Maybe,” Jasmine agrees with a wink. 

Everyone seems to settle down, so the trio walk forward to hear what they’ve decided. 

“Okay, so majority rules and that means we’re going to the shooting range first.” Their dad announces, wobbling his way over to the truck to get out his guns. 

“I’ll stay back,” Madilyn raises her voice over the hustle and bustle. “We brought some fruit that I'm going to cut up.”

“I’ll stay with Madilyn.” Gary agrees, but he should have known that was going to put him in the hot seat. His siblings don't hesitate to give him shit... 

“Aw, Gar!” Grant whines. “You’re always with Madilyn. We get she’s your favorite sibling but can’t you come hang out with the rest of us for a bit?” 

Gary snorts at that, “Really? Like Graham isn’t your favorite, and as if Becca and Emma aren’t each other’s favorites?” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Grant lowers his voice teasingly, sounding like he’s trying to placate an upset animal. “We all have favorites. It’s okay. It’s okay, Gar.” 

Gary rolls his eyes, pushing away Grant’s ‘calming’ pats. 

Much to his dismay, his other siblings start to join in. 

It starts with Emma saying, “Come on, Gar! I want to see what all these years in the military has taught you.” 

“A lot,” Gary answers dryly. 

“Bet I can beat you,” Graham challenges, his brows raising to his hairline. 

Gary scoffs at that.

“Come on, Gar!” Becca shouts next. 

“Guys,” Gary says, exhaustion starting to creep into his tone. “It’s been months since I’ve been behind a gun. My first time back shouldn’t be at a civilian range.” 

“Why?” Emma doesn’t mean to sound so thoughtless but her tone is ignorant and lacking thought. “Don’t be so dramatic.” 

Gary lets out a heavy sigh, feeling Jasmine tense at his side. He glimpses over just in time to see Jasmine open her mouth before she closes it again, clearly wanting to come to Gary’s aid. Although, she’s in a bad spot… It’s her first time meeting his and Madilyn’s family. He’s sure Jasmine’s only worried about stirring the pot. So she closes her mouth and looks at Gary sympathetically.

“Fine,” Gary says, just to end this whole thing before it turns into an actual fight. 

“I’ll come with,” Jasmine offers, glimpsing over at Gary. 

“I’d appreciate that, Jas.” Gary returns, keeping his voice low. 

“Grant, Graham, come over here and help your father.” Their mother instructs, standing a few feet away from her husband. She watches, with a worried look on her face, as her husband clambers into the back of the truck. 

“Careful, honey,” she says as Gary’s dad gets up on all fours and stands. 

Gary gets it, understands her concern. His parents are not as young as they used to be. And that was one of the hardest parts of coming home. Seeing how much they've aged. Part of him had an unrealistic, immortal image of his parents in his head. But coming home pulled that image to shreds.

He walks over to help unload the weapons, handing some off to Grant and Graham to hold. 

Gary has a hunting rifle strapped over either shoulder - both in padded cloth cases. Grant has a pistol in one hand, safely inside a durable plastic case, and in the other is a bag full of ammo. Meanwhile Graham is much like Gary, with a gun on either shoulder. 

“Alright, dear,” his mom tells Madilyn, “We’ll be back.” 

“Have fun!” Madilyn calls as she starts to get out her bowls and knives to prepare her fruit. 

Gary and Jasmine share a look before they follow Gary’s family off into the woods. 

It’s a twenty minute walk to the range, where they’re guided to a more private, larger section due to their large party. They only pass a few people on the way, and it’s mostly solo shooters. 

Once they’ve reached their section of the range, Gary puts down both of his rifles safely on the table. Graham follows his lead, putting the rifles beside Gary’s. Grant’s next, putting the ammunition up on the table, and then the pistol case. 

Everything is going fine and dandy, Gary’s family is chatting just over his shoulder. Emma and Becca are talking to Jasmine, asking about her, and how it’s been dating Madilyn, and that they promise to share embarrassing stories about Madilyn later. Jasmine laughs at that, and agrees wholeheartedly. 

Gary’s watching them, not Grant, so Gary startles when he hears metal clack against the ground. He turns, finding Grant bent over, picking up the pistol off the cement ground. 

“For fuck’s sake,” Gary curses, anger coursing through him first. It’s a gut reaction - he expects more out of his soldiers, and someone would definitely get reprimanded for dropping a _weapon._ It doesn't even occur to him that Grant's not a soldier. He doesn't have military training... and it's unfair for Gary to hold him to the same expectations of his men.

“Gary!” His mother hisses. “Watch your mouth!” 

Grant looks sheepish as he stands up, glancing at Gary with a mix of embarrassment and remorse in his eyes. 

“No, it’s okay, Mom. I messed up.” Grant’s careful as he sits the gun back in the case and takes a step back. He glimpses at Gary and then away again as he says, “Sorry, Gar.” 

Gary’s filled with guilt immediately. It was an accident. Gary’s not a sergeant right now. He’s with his family because they _wanted_ him here. Gary just needs to take a breather…

“No, it’s-” Gary waves Grant off. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. It’s okay.” 

Grant gives Gary a small smile, so Gary reaches out to grab the back of Grant’s neck. He gives his brother a reassuring squeeze before he releases. 

Gary allows his family to work out an order of who goes first. He tries to work out his simple plan quietly, staying in the back until hopefully they forget that Gary hasn’t even shot. Gary _hopes_ they either run out of ammo, or start packing up before they realize Gary stood in the back the whole time. 

Sadly, his plan doesn’t work out. 

He nearly gets away with it. His mom goes first, with his father helping her hold the pistol, and helping her shoot off a few rounds before it’s too much for her. Emma goes next, and her husband Beau helps load the weapon for her before he hands it off. Beau finishes the round for her, and then fills up the magazine to go again. Becca goes, enjoying shooting off round after round before Champ takes the pistol with the same fire as her. 

As they’re shooting, Grant and Graham set up the rifles, moving down to the further end of the line to shoot. 

The group starts to cycle, some moving to the rifles when they’ve had their turn on the pistol. So after Graham and Grant have had their chance, and the group is finishing their rounds on the rifles, eyes fall to Gary. 

“Hey, Gar, you haven’t shot yet.” Graham speaks up, putting the safety on the pistol. “You want a go? There’s not much ammo left.” 

Gary shakes his head, waving Graham off. “No, I’m alright-” 

“Gary.” 

Gary knows he’s in trouble the second he hears his mom’s voice. He turns to the left, seeing that _look_ that only mom’s are capable. Stern and leaving no room for argument. 

It doesn’t help that his siblings are already all cheering for him. 

“I want to see you shoot, Gar!” Emma shouts happily. 

And then Becca has her hands around her mouth, chanting Gary’s name. “Gary! Gary! Gary!” 

Emma joins in, Grant joins in, and then Graham. At least Emma’s and Becca’s husbands have the decency to stay quiet, but they smile, seeing no harm in the jest. 

“Come on, son.” Gary’s father hikes his pants up higher, giving his son a proud nod. “Let’s see what you’ve got.” 

Gary feels his blood get hot. He’s already told them _no._ He didn’t even want to come, let alone shoot anything. Yet he’s being dragged in by his family’s insistent pestering - and he _knows_ it’s supposed to be harmless. 

Regardless, they’re getting under Gary’s skin. 

Gary shares one look with Jasmine, no doubt showing the most annoyance than he has since he showed up a few months ago. He lets out a sigh as he pushes off the stone block they were leaning against, leaving Jasmine behind. 

“One magazine,” Gary says coldly as he takes the pistol from Graham. 

The Sandersons cheer happily now that Gary has caved. 

Gary pops the magazine out, checking the weapon, the chamber, and the clip before he pops it back in smoothly. 

Gary steps forward, taking a stance with a calming breath. He raises the gun, and in that split second he knows he’s gone. 

He has his eyes down the sight of the pistol, feeling his heartbeat slow on instinct. He never realized it in the field, but now that he’s been away for so long he can _feel_ it. He can _feel_ his body slip into “soldier-mode”. Can feel the wash of calmness take over. 

The only thing that matters is the target. 

The first target pops up and Gary shoots, then the next, and the next. Gary takes each one down, never flinching, never losing sight. 

He falls back into the rhythm of holding a weapon. Gets used to the recoil… the smell of gunpowder. Suddenly all the months he’s spent with his family are wiped away. 

He’s Roach right now. Sergeant of Task Force 141. 

The last target pops up and Gary takes it down with two shots. One to the head one to the chest. 

He lowers his weapon, turning on the safety. Gary checks the chamber, confirming that it’s emptied. He used every last bullet with purpose. The weapon is lowered to the table and then Gary places the red earmuffs next to the gun. 

Gary takes in a deep breath, feeling that sense of fighting rinse out of him. He feels like Gary again. 

Gary notices that the range is silent. Dead silent. A horrible, crushing silence that is next to impossible to achieve at a gun range.

Gary feels a sense of dread creep in as he turns to the left, and that dread deepens when he sees that his whole family is watching him. 

“I-” Gary says nervously, motioning towards the range. He glimpses over at all of the targets he maimed. Every single one has fallen. So far his family hadn’t been able to take down more than three at a time. Gary took down all ten in less than two minutes. 

Gary looks back at his family, feeling something hot prickle under his skin. Almost embarrassment, but not quite. He knows one thing; he hates having their attention on him. 

“I’m going to go for a walk,” Gary swallows, then steps away from the range. 

He hears the gravel crush under his boots, a welcome sound rather than the dead silence his family is giving him in return. He’s a good few feet away when he hears the familiar sound of someone jogging closer. 

Gary looks over just in time to see Jasmine at his side, and she gives Gary a conspiratory wink. Gary’s thankful and knows that he's lucky to have Jasmine with him. He’s sure she understands his place and feelings in all of this more than his family ever could. 

They continue to walk in silence for the next ten minutes until they’re secluded enough that Gary feels like he can speak. 

He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly as he says, “I told them I didn’t want to shoot.” 

Jasmine nods sympathetically. “You did.”

Gary takes in a deep breath, and then exhales. The birds chirp around them, a little chipmunk scurries out into the path for a second before hopping back into the long grass. It’s peaceful, and hot, and Gary shouldn’t feel so annoyed…

“They don’t get it,” Gary explains next, glimpsing at Jasmine and then back towards the path. He throws his hands up tiredly and then lets them fall back to his side. That feels too awkward, and he’s too tense to ignore that feeling, so he slips his hands in his pockets instead. 

“It’s really my fault,” Gary sighs. “I had to spend so much time away, and then when I did have time to take vacation it felt too late. I was - and am - a different person, and I knew that I was gone long enough that it wouldn’t feel right. If I came back, then my family would have to get to know a whole new me.” 

Jasmine nods and listens. Patient. 

“The last time I came back was hard. For all of us. They expected me to be the same Gary before I left and I couldn’t be that for them. So when I left again I thought it’d be better to stay away. Maybe I’d call once a year… just to check up on them.” Gary’s jaw flexes as he swallows. “I love my family and I know I should see them more. But I think I just wanted them to be able to hold onto that image of me before I had to change myself.” 

“They’re getting there,” Jasmine reassures, patting Gary’s shoulder. “It’s always so awkward having to deal with family’s invasive questions and their curiosity. But they’ll get over it eventually.” 

Gary huffs out a laugh. “Let’s see if they get over it before I have to leave again.” 

The path gets narrower the closer they get to the campsite. The overgrowth brushes against them as they move down the pathway. It’s just big enough to get dirt bikes, or maybe ATV’s if someone was determined, through. 

“Still looking like it’s going to be two months then?” Jasmine’s inquiry is gentle. 

“I hope,” Gary says as if he’s making an apology. “In two months I’ll have been here for over half a year. It’s too much idle time… more than I’ve ever had. I don’t want to get too soft - I could already feel it at the gun range.” 

Jasmine’s laugh is gentle and kind. “I don’t think anyone’s worried about you getting too soft, Gary.” 

“I am…” Gary’s voice is barely above a whisper. 

Jasmine hums before she pats Gary’s shoulder again. 

They’ve been walking for about thirty minutes now, most of it in silence, when Jasmine speaks up. 

“When do you think you’re going to tell them?” She inquires. “Not that it’s any of my business. It might just be easier… if you’re _all_ ready.” 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Gary runs a hand through his hair, it’s sweaty and tousled. “Soon. I’ll tell them soon."

-

Gary and Jasmine make it back to the campsite where Madilyn resudes. She’s sitting on the picnic table, feet propped up on the bench seat. Beside her is a bunch of fresh fruit, cut up and ready to eat. She’s already helping herself, her cheeks full as she flips a page in her book. The sound of snapping twigs under Gary's feet causes Madilyn to glance upwards. Her eyes widen in surprise when she sees Jasmine and Gary get closer. 

“Hey, didn’t expect you back so soon.” Madilyn brushes off her hands and hops off of the picnic table. 

Gary gives Madilyn a soft smile, slinging an arm around her shoulders to bring her in close. He feels her arm around his waist, and she squeezes his waist reassuringly. 

“Everything okay?” She asks before she swallows her food. 

“Yeah,” Gary nods, holding Madilyn’s gaze. “I feel better. Our family is a bit much sometimes, huh?” 

“ _Are they ever_.” Madilyn groans in agreement. She guides Gary to the picnic table and sits him down. Jasmine sits across from them, a happy smile on her face as she looks between the siblings. 

“Here,” Madilyn prepares a paper plate for Gary with strawberries, raspberries, and apple slices. “I know you don’t like oranges or cherries. I haven’t washed the blueberries yet.” 

“Thanks,” Gary smiles as he picks up an apple slice and puts the whole thing in his mouth. 

“What’d they do?” Madilyn asks as she reaches out, holding an orange slice for Jasmine. Jasmine takes it between her teeth, and then sits back as she chews. 

“I told them I didn’t want to go to the range but they insisted,” Gary grumbles. “And then I told them I didn’t want to shoot but they insisted. So I shoot the stupid gun, since that’s what they wanted me to do, and then they look at me like I’m… I don’t know. A stranger.” 

Madilyn nods as if in understanding, but then she glimpses at Jasmine and asks, “Was it cool?”

“So cool,” Jasmine agrees with a grin. “He took down every target in maybe a minute.” 

Madilyn gasps, her head snapping back in Gary’s direction. “Holy shit, that’s so cool. I should have _went_.” 

Gary smiles, despite his poor attitude. 

“Well, I wish I would have stayed with you,” he grumbles. 

“I’m honored,” Madilyn takes another piece of fruit and pops it into her mouth. “You know, you can say no to our family. Just because we haven’t seen you in a while doesn’t mean you owe them, or me, anything.” 

“Thanks.” Gary feels better now, sharing a friendly wink with his sister. He puts another apple slice in his mouth. 

Madilyn grins back, then leans over to put her head on Gary’s shoulder. 

The trio sit at the picnic table for the next hour, enjoying the fresh fruit and the breeze that comes through. The leaves overhead rustle, creating a peaceful noise. Gary closes his eyes to soak that in. 

Most of the time at the picnic table consists of Jasmine and Madilyn teasing each other. And then the two call a truce and decide that they could be having more fun trying to throw fruit in each other’s mouth. Jasmine catches the most in her mouth, so she throws her arms up in success.

“No way,” Madilyn waves her off. “It’s because I’m a better thrower than you.” 

Jasmine just laughs and says, “Yes, dear.” 

Gary feels content here in their presence, and allows himself to relax. He feels bad for having gotten so fired up earlier, but he tries to tell himself that it was bound to happen sooner or later… 

Gary’s family reemerges half an hour later, weapons packed away and carried back to the truck. No one says anything about Gary leaving, and for that he’s thankful. They come over to pick at Madilyn’s fruit before they all fall into the chairs around the fire. 

They relax there a while longer before Becca stands from her chair. 

“Alright! I’m going to go find cool stuff! Who’s with me?” Becca looks around the campsite expectantly. 

“Me!” Madilyn agrees. 

“Okay, we got one! Any other takers?” Becca looks around again. 

“Nerd,” Grant coughs into his hand, which gets him a flick on the ear from Becca.

“I’ll go,” Emma smiles as she gets off of Beau’s lap. 

“Gary and Jasmine are going too,” Madilyn volunteers them, turning to smile at the pair. 

Jasmine gives her girlfriend a pointed look, but she stands from the picnic table. 

“Fine,” Gary agrees, voice light before he shoves a handful of berries into his mouth. He brushes his hands off on his jeans. 

The group of Gary and his sisters (and Jasmine) head off into the woods with one simple task. 

Find cool stuff. 

They walk pretty far - to the end of the campsite where a small lake brushes up against the shore. Gary’s family always considered this lake a secret treasure of theirs, although Gary knows full well that many families around here know this “secret” location. Regardless, it brings back good memories.

The group all split off, heads ducked towards the ground as they skim the land for anything _interesting._ It soon turns into a mission to find the coolest rock. 

Gary gives up pretty quick into the mission, deciding that laying down in the sand is a much better choice. He studies the cloudy sky for a minute before he allows his eyes to flutter shut. He focuses on the noises around him; the sound of the water lapping up against the sand, the birds cawing over head as they pass over the lake, and his sisters arguing about who's going to find the coolest rock. By the sounds of it, Emma and Becca have joined forces, and Madilyn has probably forced Jasmine to join her team. 

They’re at it for another half hour before Gary’s being called. 

“Gary! Are you coming or do you want us to leave you here?” Becca calls. 

Gary hums, not moving an inch. “I’m undecided!”

“Suit yourself!” She throws back. 

Gary can hear them retreat, so he pushes up from the sand with a smirk. He thinks he’s teased them enough today, so he jogs after them to catch up. It’s a nice walk back, and they’re taking a slightly different route than before.

Before they followed a dirt path all the way through the woods to the lake, but now Becca’s leading them to a large field with a much thinner line of trees on the fringe of the field. 

Gary’s a few steps ahead of everyone, flitting his eyes down at the ground to avoid stepping in a hole. The grass is tall, and tugs at his pant legs, so Gary doesn’t want to risk a twisted ankle. It feels nice to go on an ‘adventure’ like this with his sisters. 

“Should we tell the kids we found treasure?” Becca asks with a wide smile. “I know Mikey’s going to be jealous of my cool rock.” 

Emma laughs as she lifts her knees up high, avoiding a fallen branch. Gary thinks this area was probably wooded, but cleared out a year or two ago. 

Gary smiles as he turns to the side, watching Becca lift her rock to the sky and inspect it in the sunlight. Emma’s just beyond her, working her way through the tall grass and struggling. Emma is the shortest of them all, so Gary feels a little bad. She’s almost getting swallowed by it all. 

“Em, want to ride on my back?” Gary asks. 

“Please!” Emma accepts immediately, stopping where she stands. “I think this grass is seriously trying to kill me.” 

“Aw, I want a piggyback ride later too.” Becca lowers her rock, watching Gary walk over to their sister. 

“You’ll get one,” Gary promises as he bends in the knees. Emma jumps up, wrapping her arms and legs around her brother. Gary situates her, and then continues to walk. 

“Wait for us!” Madilyn calls from behind. She’s hand and hand with Jasmine as the two race through the tall grace to catch up. 

“Careful!” Becca warns, pointing just a few feet in front of her. Jasmine and Madilyn slow down now that they’re closer, so Becca explains. “There’s an ankle-breaking hole right there.” 

“Oh, gross,” Madilyn curls her nose up as she and Jasmine walk around it. 

They’re back as a group, trudging through the land together. They’re all spread out, save for Madilyn and Jasmine who are still holding hands. 

Gary smiles as the grass starts to thin out. 

“I almost felt like I was with my soldiers back there,” Gary says as he bends and allows Emma to slide off of his back. She brushes down her shirt, then gives Gary a pat on the shoulder in thanks. 

“We’re, like, way better than your soldiers though, right?” Becca smirks as she comes to stop at Gary’s side. 

Gary laughs, reaching out to pluck a small stick from Becca’s brown hair. 

“Way better,” Gary agrees as he flicks the little twig away. 

“Phew,” Madilyn drops Jasmine’s hand as she situates the little cloth satchel she has on her hip. It’s small, only fitting a handful or two of rocks inside. “I got some good ones,” Madilyn comments as she shifts the strap off her neck. 

The group continue on their journey back to the campsite. The grass isn’t as tall, but there are a few thorny bushes with overgrowing twigs that threaten to poke them. The trees are thicker here, and the path is a little narrower. 

Emma goes first, with Gary just a step behind. Becca straggles behind with Madilyn and Jasmine as they show each other the rocks they’ve collected. Gary loves the childish excitement; loves that they’re so excited they can’t wait to get back to the campsite to show each other their rocks. 

And then Gary hears it. A soft pop in the distance. 

Gary’s heart skips a beat. He freezes. 

“Gary?” Jasmine’s voice is gentle, but doesn’t shake Gary out of his focus. 

Gary can see Emma turn around, curious as to why everyone has stopped. She catches Becca’s gaze, the two conveying the silent notion of _this is odd_. Their eyes flit back to Gary, seeing their brother standing ramrod straight as he strains his ears. 

Gary lifts a hand behind him, motioning for Becca, Jasmine, and Madilyn to stay and remain quiet. 

“Emma.” Gary’s voice is barely above a whisper, but firm and sudden. Commanding. “Get down.” 

Emma looks worried, but she crouches down, hidden by a large fallen tree just off the path. 

And then it happens again. Louder, closer this time. A round of pops in the distance, hidden somewhere within the forest. 

“Shots-” Gary stops himself. He feels conflicted. He knows he’s not getting shot at. He _knows_. But it’s like his body is working on some inborn instinct. He needs to report the shots, he needs to tell Soap. They should get Archer and Toad out to get eyes on-

“Hey…” Jasmine steps up to Gary’s side, resting a hand on his bicep. “Gary, we’re not being shot at.” 

Gary lowers his arm and his guard. He can see Emma stand - slowly - out of the corner of his eye. Right… Gary’s acting like a crazy person. His instinct is leading him wrong. Sure, it might have been helpful if he was still with the 141 but… not now. He’s on vacation. Not a mission.

“Right,” Gary brings up a hand, rubbing at his temple.his eyes scrunch close, as if he has a headache. After all... this whole camping trip is starting to feel like one.

“Probably just fireworks,” Becca says suddenly, as if she wants to help calm Gary down. “Grant and Graham always bring small stuff because they’re adult children.”

Gary huffs out a laugh, but it’s empty. 

“Right…” Gary trails off this time but gives the group a tiny nod. 

“Let’s head back,” Madilyn says easily, ever vigilant in these awkward situations. She knows how to act like there’s nothing wrong… Gary appreciates it. “I’m getting eaten alive by bugs.” 

Whether that’s true or not, it helps the rest of the group move forward. Gary stays in the middle, Emma a few steps ahead, and the rest of the girls behind him. He’s glad for that, since he’d rather not see their worried expressions right now. He doesn’t want pity, and he doesn’t want to be treated like some sort of special case. 

They get back to camp and, luckily, none of the girls try to bring it up. So Gary finds an empty seat around the fire and sinks into it, hoping that he’ll be left alone for the next few hours. 

His wish is mostly granted. Until Graham comes over rubbing at Gary’s shoulders just on the edge of too rough. 

“Why do you look so tense, Gar?” Graham asks, genuinely concerned.

“Graham, I’ll break your fingers.” Gary threatens emptily. 

Graham’s touch softens. He moves to grab Gary’s skull, cradling it between his large palms. Graham’s hands are about as big as Gary’s head. His older brothers were always big and intimidating, but only ever goofy and a little too rough when they were kids. Graham and Grant can be perfectly compared to large goofy dogs who don’t know their own strength. 

“Love you, Gar,” Graham says apologetically, pressing a kiss to the top of Gary’s head. He then releases his grip, in turn also releasing Gary’s squished cheeks. He rustles Gary’s hair, messing it up before he walks away. 

“Love you too,” Gary says softly, knowing that Graham hears it when he sees Graham gain a small smile. 

Luckily, Gary’s left alone for the next half hour. And rescued fifteen minutes later when Madilyn starts to tickle his ear. 

Gary smacks at first, assuming it’s a bug, but then he hears Madilyn’s little giggle when she tries to tickle him again. 

“Madilyn.” Gary says in warning as she continues to flick his ear.

“Come on, loser. We’re leaving.” 

Gary turns to look at her and she gives him a pointed smile and nod. Gary sighs in relief as he gets out of the chair and follows after her. Jasmine joins them, and soon the trio does their rounds as they say their goodbyes. 

Gary gives his mom a kiss on the cheek last, and she holds him a second longer to whisper in his ear, “I love Madilyn’s girlfriend. She’s such a sweetheart.” 

Gary smiles back, giving his mom a nod in agreement. “She’s great. I’m glad she and Madilyn have each other.” 

“Me _too._ She seems to calm Madilyn down a little. And they seem to be head over heels for each other.” His mom waggles her brows, and Gary just laughs. He agrees with his mom… she tends to see right through people. Gary wishes he could have that skill. 

“Alright, Mom. Love you.” 

“I love you too, dear. Your father and I-” 

“Are going up to the cabin?” Gary finishes with a knowing smile. 

She winks at him. “You’ve got it. You’ll be able to find yourself something to eat, right?” 

“Mom,” Gary deadpans, giving her a pointed look. “I’m twenty-seven. I’m capable.” 

“Oh, I know,” she sighs, waving her son off. “I worry about you. I worry about all of my kids! Is that so bad?” 

“No,” Gary answers sweetly. Then with a childish tone, “You’re our _Mom_. It’s normal. I’m sorry.” 

His mom smiles widely as she pats her son on the cheeks. “That’s what I thought.”

It surprises both Gary and his mother when Gary’s father joins the conversation. He’s got an odd look on his face, and refuses to meet Gary’s eye. He reaches out to pat Gary’s shoulder, then gives a nod mostly to himself rather than to Gary. 

“Fun day today, son.” 

Gary glimpses at his mom, and then back to his dad. They both share a confused look at his father's behavior. “Yeah, it was.” 

“Look, I was thinking-”

Gary holds off a groan. He doesn’t like where this is going at all. 

Gary’s dad clears his throat, hiking up his pants at the same time. “Maybe we should look into getting you some of that therapy-” 

“Dad-” Gary starts. 

“No, now hear me out,” his father lifts a hand, looking at Gary out of the corner of his eye. “I think it’d really help with that PTSD-” 

“Honey…” his mother is gentle, laying a hand on her husband’s shoulder. “We can talk about this later.” 

Gary’s father stiffens, but he nods to his wife’s words.

Gary’s mom tries to save the situation by giving Gary an apologetic smile. “Now go before Madilyn drives off without you.” 

“She would too, wouldn’t she?” Gary jokes emptily, hating the fact that he can shove away this feeling of shame. 

His mom sets Gary with a look that makes him huff out a laugh, but also gets him jogging in the direction of Madilyn’s car. 

He throws himself into the backseat just as she starts the engine. 

“There you are!” Madilyn smiles widely. “I was about to drive off without you.” 

“Funny. Mom said you would.” Gary throws back, glad to see Madilyn’s reaction of amused and offended quickly melt into understanding. 

“Okay, fair.” Madilyn agrees as she puts the car in drive. “But only because it’d be funny.” 

The ride grows comfortably silent as Madilyn drives them slowly out of the campsite. The car dips and moves with the uneven dirt road, and a cloud of dirt kicks up behind them, regardless of how gentle Madilyn’s trying to drive. 

Soon, they’re on the road, with the windows rolled down. Gary hangs his arm out of the window, feeling the breeze against his skin, curling his fingers in and out to feel the catch of the wind in his hand. The ride is silent… and Gary’s starting to think.

Gary sits in the back of Madilyn’s Honda, unable to shake the feeling of embarrassment. He’s not sure what it is, he can’t quite put his finger on it. He doesn’t feel like a burden but there is a part of him that feels bad that his whole family are even more cautious around him. It was bad when Gary first showed up, but now it’s even worse after what happened today. 

Gary was just on edge. He shot a gun for the first time in months… walking through the woods after picking up rocks reminded Gary of a past mission… and then the sounds of what he thought were gunshots while in the woods was just the icing on the cake. 

None of this would have been an issue if he was still with the 141… Gary _likes_ shooting at the range with his soldiers. Missions are tough but are worth it when they take down the target successfully. And if Gary had heard gunshots while with the 141… Well, they actually would have been gunshots. Not some faint firecracker in the distance. 

“Gary, shut up.” 

At the sound of Madilyn’s voice, Gary’s head snaps forward. And then he registers her words. Confusion crosses his features, and Madilyn just sighs. 

“You’re thinking _so loud_. Stop it.”

Gary opens his mouth, but nothing but silence comes out. Then all he can do is laugh. 

“Good,” Madilyn continues, still sounding stern. She glimpses at Gary in the rearview mirror and then back to the road. “Are we done being Mr. Angsty now? So what? We saw soldier Gary today. Big whoop.” 

Gary groans as he rests his head back against the seat. “Dad told me I should get therapy.” 

Madilyn barks out a laugh at that, then shakes her head. “Dad only says that because Grant was going through some shit a few years ago and therapy helped. But your situation is different. Dad doesn’t understand. Hell, I don’t understand either. Only you do…” 

Madilyn trails off as she makes a right. They’re almost home now. 

Jasmine hums, then says, “I’ll tell you what. If we were getting shot at, we would have been lucky to have you there. You’ve got sharp reflexes.” 

Gary huffs out a laugh, but takes the compliment. “Thanks, Jas.” 

Madilyn pulls into their driveway. The ride up to the house is silent, save for the gentle tings of gravel kicking up and hitting the underside of the vehicle. Finally, Madilyn parks outside the front porch, and places her Honda in park. 

“Hey, what kind of trouble did Grant get into? I never heard about this.” Gary asks curiously, watching Madilyn. 

“Some gambling stuff, getting in with some bad people. But he’s better now. He’s been doing so much better since he moved in with Graham.”

“Good,” Gary nods, his mind wandering. He can’t picture Grant - his lovable older brother - getting roped in with the wrong crowd. Gary has a brief thought that he wouldn’t have let that happen if he was still home… But that's not fair to his family. He's sure all of them tried to keep Grant out of trouble. Sometimes it's just unavoidable. He's relieved that to know Gran'ts doing better...

“While we’re still in the special car of privacy, is there anything else you would like to talk about?” Madilyn turns in her seat, throwing her arm around the headrest so she can look at Gary. “I know something has been on your mind. Whatever is said in the car stays in the car.” 

“Uh…” Gary trails off, playing with a frayed string on the edge of the car seat. He’s not sure if now’s a good time, or if there ever will be a good time, but so much as happened today. He might as well add more to the pile instead of stretching it out. 

Gary looks up into Madilyn’s eyes, and then sheepishly says, “I don’t think I’m straight.”

Madilyn’s brows jump up, and her head jerks forward out of shock. Her auburn ponytail bobs from left to right from the movement. Gary thinks that’s probably one of the only times he’s ever stunned Madilyn into silence.

“...I definitely wasn’t expecting that.” Madilyn blinks, then tilts her head to one side with a scrunched expression. 

“Is that… a bad thing?” Gary asks nervously, turning his gaze down to watch his hands play with the string. 

“What?! Of course not,” Madilyn scoffs, reaching out to slap Gary’s knee gently. “Talk to me about it. What made you start thinking about this?” 

Gary’s lips part, but he doesn’t speak. He glimpses out the window, knowing that he can’t tell Madilyn that it’s Ghost. Ghost has made him start thinking like this. Being away from Ghost - the 141 - has caused this whole thought spiral and introspection into things Gary never wanted to inspect before. Never had time to either… 

Gary turns back to Madilyn as he gives as honest an answer as he can. 

“You know that I’ve never really been interested in sex… it doesn’t seem worth it to me without a deeper connection. I haven’t… done _it_ since high school.” 

“Wow…” Madilyn says lowly, clearly surprised. 

Gary sets her with an exasperated look, so she lifts her palms up in innocence. 

“I don’t really find anyone attractive when I first meet them. It’s not like I find them ugly either. I just don’t think about it.” Gary continues, “But with all the time I’ve had lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I think that I am capable of finding both men and women attractive. After I’ve known them for a bit, that is.” 

Madilyn nods so Gary nods too, and then he watches as Madilyn finally allows herself to smile. Something Gary knows she was holding back just by the way her mouth was twisted. 

“Leave it to us to be the gaybies,” Madilyn jokes, hitting her knuckles against Gary’s knee. 

Gary still feels awkward, and tense, but he laughs at Madilyn’s joke. He appreciates his sister’s ability to dispel all tension from almost any situation. She has a gift, truly. 

The silence grows comfortable, but Gary still feels an itching sense to continue.

“I’ve never even been with a guy,” Gary states, glimpsing over at Madilyn nervously. “I don’t know what guys even do.” 

“I can’t help you out there.” Madilyn sighs as she sits back against her car door. She rests her elbow on the shoulder of her chair, and then rests her head on her knuckles. “Normally I’d never recommend this to anyone, but watch some porn. Oh! And there’s a sex shop right outside of town. Buy yourself some gifts, get a hotel room for a night. _Explore_.”

“Jesus Christ,” Gary grumbles as he blushes. “Am I really talking about sex with my little sister?” 

“Would you rather go talk to Grant or Graham about it?” Madilyn challenges, crossing her arms over herself. 

“Ab _solutely_ not.” Gary’s quick to respond, resting his hand on the car door. He wishes he could escape this situation entirely and pretend it never happened.

“It’s normal, Gary! And you haven’t had sex in like ten years so I can only imagine how hard it is to figure out where to start.” Madilyn scoots back so that she’s sitting correctly in her seat. “And, frankly, I’m honored you trust me enough to talk to about this.” 

“And me,” Jasmine adds in quietly.

“Aren’t we so wholesome?” Gary teases lightly, which gets Madilyn to clutch at her heart mockingly. 

Jasmine laughs from the passenger seat. 

“Okay, you two,” Jasmine claps her hands. “Are we ready to end our wholesome hour?” 

“Ready!” Madilyn and Gary say in unison, and then stare at each other. 

“Stop that,” Gary says first. 

Madilyn looks offended, and that makes Gary laugh. 

“ _You_ stop it!” Madilyn shoots back. 

“Fine, I’ll be the bigger person.” Gary teases as he opens the car door. “I’ll see you guys around.” 

“See you on Monday, Gar!” Madlyn says her farewells, watching Gary shut the door behind him. 

Jasmine rolls down her car window, catching Gary’s attention before he gets too far away. She sticks her upper half out of the window, giving Gary a serious look. 

“Gary, you know yourself best. You know who you are, and you know what makes you feel like you. Just because you’re a different Gary from five years ago isn’t bad. Okay?” 

Gary smiles warmly at Jasmine’s words. His eyes are on the ground as he nods, close to getting emotional. With a deep breath, Gary lifts his gaze to meet Jasmine’s. 

“Okay,” he agrees, giving her a wink. 

She shares his smile before she slides back into the car. 

Gary jogs up to the porch before he turns to wave at the retreating car. Madilyn and Jasmine have their arms out of their respective windows, waving wildly as they pull away and down the driveway. 

Empty. Gary feels empty as he walks inside and is greeted with the dark living room. There are no lights on in the home, and the sky is getting darker now - more humid outside too. The AC is still on, and usually Gary would welcome the cool wash of air, but now it just feels frigid against his skin. 

He walks past the kitchen, not bothering to turn on any lights. He’s not hungry either, his stomach feels weighed down, and he’s growing sluggish as he walks upstairs. 

He’s drained. Emotionally. And that’s rare for him.

Gary pushes into his bedroom, working on muscle memory as he swings the door shut behind him. It clicks shut but Gary doesn’t hear it as he starts to undress. 

Autopilot mode. He feels like he’s on autopilot mode as he slips on an old sleep shirt. He doesn’t bother with shorts, his boxers will be enough. 

Gary knows, before his body even knows, that a range of emotions is going to come crashing down on him in any second. Unless he can beat his own emotions by falling asleep first. 

He clambers into bed, not bothering to cover up. He just throws himself on top of the covers, mushes his pillow under his head, and closes his eyes. 

He expects to feel numb. But it’s worse. He doesn’t feel anything. Just continued emptiness. A crushing sense of emptiness that he knows he won’t be able to escape. Regardless, Gary’s stubborn so he fights it. He tries to sleep, tossing and turning, but half an hour passes and nothing comes. 

Gary’s growing desperate, so he slides out of bed and moves to his bathroom. He checks his medicine cabinet, knocking a few things over in frustration and not bothering to pick them back up. He has nothing that will help him sleep…

With a huff, Gary grips the sink, staring down the drain. He needs to feel _something_. Preferably better. 

Gary stomps back out to his bedroom, swiping his phone off his bedside table and plopping down on the bed again. 

He finds Ghost’s number, staring at it for far too long before he caves. He knows it’s weak but Gary presses the phone to his ear and ignores the thoughts telling him to hang up.

Ghost picks up on the third ring, just when Gary was losing hope. 

Gary exhales in relief as Ghost gives his greeting. 

_“Roach?”_ He sounds concerned, which makes a pang of guilt hit Gary right in the chest.

“Are you busy today?” Gary asks as he picks at the tag on his blanket. He holds his breath, waiting for the answer. 

_“No, love. It’s my day off.”_

Gary exhales. He’s not sure if he should ask Ghost to spend his time off talking to Gary. How’s it fair of Gary to ask Ghost to waste his time making Gary feel better? How selfish-

_“What’s wrong, Roach?”_

“Noth-” 

_“Don’t give me that. What’s wrong?”_

Gary feels weak. He crumbles at Ghost’s words, scrunching his eyes closed and trying his hardest to fight off the tears that have already matted his eyelashes. He falls down against his pillow, tucking his legs up on the bed. 

“Can you just talk to me until I feel normal again?” 

_“Of course.”_ Ghost breathes. _“How can I make you feel normal again?”_

“Just stay here with me,” Gary’s voice shakes as he keeps his eyes closed, not wanting to face the reality of being in his bedroom all alone. “Being with you makes me feel normal.” 

_“I’m here.”_ Ghost promises. 

Gary stays in the comfortable silence of Ghost’s presence, getting his tears under control. It takes him a few minutes, but he sniffles, and feels a little better now that he has Ghost on the line. He’s still tired; it’s been _such_ a long day. But he doesn’t want Ghost to go yet. 

“Sorry,” Gary wipes at his eyes with the heel of his hand. 

_“Roach, what happened?”_ Ghost’s voice is careful as he broaches the topic, clearly not used to being in the comforting role. 

“It was just a long day,” Gary sighs, rolling onto his opposite side to get cozy. He nuzzles into his pillow and lets out another breath. 

_“I miss you.”_

Gary smiles sleepily, his eyes cracking open. He stares down at the dull light coming from his phone, where it’s half hidden under his pillow. 

“Did you just say what I think you said?” 

_“Yes. I’m not saying it again.”_

“Aw,” Gary pouts. “You caught me off guard. Just one more time. Please?” Gary knows he’s acting cute - which Ghost claims he doesn’t like - but Gary usually gets what he wants when he acts soft around his lieutenant. 

_“I miss you.”_

Gary smiles happily, allowing his eyes to flutter shut. 

“I miss you too.” 

The call grows silent again and Gary’s breath starts to even out. He’s feeling better, eased by Ghost’s presence. He almost doesn’t want to sleep. He wants to stay here with Ghost and talk to him for hours… he wants to hear Ghost’s voice say every word in the dictionary. Gary wants Ghost to be here with him. 

_“I wish I could be there too, bug.”_

Gary’s sleepy, but part of him realizes he must have voiced his desire out loud. The other part of him is starting to think this is all a dream, where Ghost says the things Gary always wishes he would say. Besides, getting Ghost to say ‘I miss you’ not only once but twice? There’s no way this _isn’t_ a dream. 

_“You’re not dreaming, Roach. I’m capable of being nice sometimes.”_

Gary huffs out a breathy giggle. His mouth seems to be linked directly to his thoughts… with no filter in between. 

Gary’s unsure how long he has Ghost trapped on the phone for, just listening to each other breathing. But Gary does hear one last thing before he falls asleep. 

_“Goodnight, love.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Sorry this one took a while to edit. Chapter 10 is done, I'm filling in the gaps for Chapter 11, and the rest I'm piecing together from the older stuff I've been writing over the last two years. I think I'm going to take about a 3-4 week break from posting after chapter 10. I'll be spending that whole time editing and filling in the gaps! I might be done sooner than expected, so keep an eye out for chapters.
> 
> I hope you guys will still come back in a few weeks : ) I'm hoping to have this properly finished by then. Thanks for your patience with me! 
> 
> One question for you: would you guys be interested if I created a twitter for me to post story updates/other stuff pertaining to this story (and other stories in the future)?


	10. Spoiled

It was supposed to be a nice and calm family night out on the town. And, in most cases it was. It was nice to dress nicely, go to a nice restaurant with his family and enjoy a meal so expensive that Gary normally never would have paid for. It was also calming, sitting in one of the darker corners of the restaurant, at the large round table his family was gifted since they had a large party. Small battery-powered tea light candles were scattered throughout the dining area, successfully setting a relaxing mood. 

The problem came _after_ dinner. 

The Sanderson siblings were all standing out on the sidewalk as cars crawled by at a respectful speed. It’s Friday night and the town is full of people wanting to get out of their homes for a few hours. 

Their parents walked off, arm in arm, to get the truck and head to the cabin for the weekend. Meanwhile, Gary’s surrounded by Emma and her husband Beau, Becca and her husband Champ, Madilyn and Jasmine, Graham and his date named Carol (a very sweet woman with light ginger hair and freckles across her nose), while Grant and Gary are both solo. 

“Next time we go out Carol said she’d bring her sisters.” Graham cracks a smile as he turns to his brothers. Gary’s the closest, so Graham pokes him teasingly in the ribs with his elbow. 

Gary rolls his eyes, shrugging Graham’s arm away from him. 

“My sisters will love you both,” Carol adds, leaning into Graham’s side. She’s not being pushy about it at all, which Gary appreciates. He knows that unlike his mother and sisters, Graham and Carol have no plan on trying to get Gary married off with the idea of grandkids on the horizon… 

Gary gives an awkward laugh, trying his best to let Carol down gently. 

“I’m sure your sisters are lovely,” Gary begins, sliding his hands into his pockets. “And I could always do with more friends… but I’ll be headed back to my unit soon. The last thing I want is anyone waiting for me.” 

“Yeah,” Becca has both of her arms around Champ’s waist. “Gary’s humble, hardworking, and _listens_. He’s every girl’s dream yet he shoots down every chance of a date.” 

“Oh,” Carol nods with a low smile. She glances at Gary before she gives a gentle shrug. “I have a brother too if that’s more your speed.” 

Madilyn gives a hearty laugh before she snaps her fingers and points at Carol. She looks proud as she says, “I like her.” 

At the approval, Graham squeezes Carol closer to his side. 

“Besides,” Madilyn continues, waving the conversation off. “Gary doesn’t have to date. Gary could be single for the rest of his life and be happy.”

“Yes, my philosophical little sister.” Becca groans, rolling her eyes. “You’re right but you know I love matchmaking.” 

“I know,” Madilyn chuckles, “But I don’t know how good you are since you kept trying to hook me up with guys.” 

Becca’s quick to defend herself, making the rest of the group laugh warmly at the familial atmosphere. 

It’s only broken when a loud holler beside them interrupts. 

“Grant! Long time no see!” 

All heads in their party swing over to see who the voice belongs to. Gary doesn’t recognize the face - it’s a blonde man with a long blonde scraggly beard and a skinny face. His eyes are a pale blue, with a tattoo peeking out from the neckline of his navy blue t-shirt. Although Gary doesn’t know the man, Gary can tell with one glimpse that this man is trouble. 

Gary’s fight instincts turn on - he can feel the hairs on his arms stick up. The same instinct kicks into Graham. He can feel his older brother stiffen, so curiously Gary glances over and isn’t surprised to see one of the iciest looks he’s ever seen on Graham’s face. 

Grant, on the other hand, shrinks back, closer to Gary and Graham. 

“Why don’t you keep walking, Lincoln?” Graham’s voice is solid - no actual question in his tone. What does surprise Gary is the pure dislike Graham’s displaying. Graham and Grant don’t hold grudges. They’re everyone’s friend… So Gary has no doubt that Lincoln must be a bad guy for Gary’s older brothers to have such a reaction. 

Lincoln must be the trouble Madilyn said Grant got into a while ago.

“Oh, still having your brother protect you? How cute.” Lincoln coos mockingly. He lifts his hand, as if he’s going to touch Grant’s chin, but Gary’s not going to allow that shit. 

Gary’s quicker. He’s got his fingers around Lincoln’s wrist and squeezes just on the side of painful. He assesses the situation, eyes gliding over Lincoln’s shoulder to the two other men a few feet away. Definitely with Lincoln. 

Lincoln’s anger flares quickly when he no longer has the upper hand. Sure, Gary might be taking it a step further by making it clear he could break Lincoln’s arm if he wanted to, but Lincoln deserves it. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Lincoln hisses as he yanks his arm back to himself. Gary lets go, hoping that Lincoln will give up instead of continuing his childish display of power he doesn’t hold. 

“Another reason you should get going.” Graham’s voice is tight, but he’s obviously holding himself back from telling this guy to just _fuck off_. 

It’s happening quicker than Gary thought it would. It only takes Lincoln glimpsing at the rest of their family, and making one comment that sends it all into motion. 

“Pretty family,” Lincoln’s voice is full of venom, low so only Grant, Gary, and Graham can hear him. “I’m sure I’ll see them around town. I’ll say hi next time-” 

Grant’s courage reappears in the form of a punch right to Lincoln’s nose. And then Lincoln’s backup approaches. Gary keeps an eye on his brothers but he steps forward to meet the two men. Grant gets a punch in return from Lincoln, but then Graham’s there, throwing Lincoln off of Grant. 

Gary gets the first punch in, feeling a sick satisfaction fill him at finally having a reason to use his fight instinct. A small smile forms on his face, and he’s distracted by that satisfaction just long enough for the second guy to punch Gary across the face. 

It hurts, but Gary can take a punch. 

Gary fights as honorably as he can, since he has an obvious advantage over these lowlifes. He keeps it simple by punching his opponent across the jaw. Although he wishes he could _really_ show this guy what he's made of, he'd rather not send him to the hospital. He doesn’t have a chance to get in a another hit before being grabbed from behind by the first man Gary took down. Gary's fast as he holds the man's forearm and turns, pinning the first guy’s arm behind his back at a painful angle. 

The man shouts out in pain, but Gary holds no mercy. He shoves the guy away, just far enough so Gary can then kick him in the backside. The man stumbles forward, landing on his belly and skidding forward on the sidewalk

Gary turns to find the second guy winding up a punch. It may be a low move, but Gary hits the guy in the stomach, causing him to keel over before he can finish that punch. Next, Gary knees the man right in the groin before he throws him to the ground. 

Lincoln’s still standing, trying his damn-dest to fight, but Graham holds Lincoln’s wrists like the parent of a child having a temper tantrum. 

Gary appreciates Graham’s attempt at deescalating the situation, but Gary’s family was threatened. He’s pissed. 

Gary grabs Lincoln by the hair, ripping his head roughly to the side so he has to look up into Gary’s eyes. 

“This better be the last time I hear of you,” Gary bites out, tightening his grip on Lincoln’s hair to make sure his words sting just as badly. “Do you want to find out what I’ll do if I hear your name again?” 

Lincoln doesn't answer, just hisses in pain. 

Gary pulls on Lincoln’s hair again. 

“No!” Lincoln shouts. “I’ll leave your family alone, you fucking maniac.” 

Gary moves his grip to Lincoln’s shirt, taking fistfuls of the fabric. He’s fuming as he throws Lincoln to the ground, right beside his piece of shit friends. Gary makes a point by giving the two bruised and scraped nameless goons a glare. 

Gary turns back to his family, taking Grant and Graham by the elbow. There are a range of emotions; Becca’s amazed, looking like she just watched a UFC fight, Emma looks frightened by the fight, hiding behind her husband, Madilyn looks HIGHLY amused while Jasmine looks like she was one step away from joining in. Gary doesn’t doubt for a second she would have if it went on any longer. 

“Let’s go,” Gary grumbles, trying to corral the group off the street since they’re starting to garner attention. 

They seem to get the message so they quicken their steps to stay up with Gary. Once they’re far enough away, Gary releases his grip on his brothers. 

“Holy _shit_ , Gar!” Becca’s the first one to exclaim, amusement lightening her tone.

They’ve reached the edge of the parking lot, where the lighting is sparse and there’s no prying eyes from passersby. Gary turns to them all, his face still serious as he points at every single person surrounding him. 

“If that man _ever_ tries to do anything to you; speak to you, touch you, try to fight you - if you even just _see him in passing_ you will tell me.” Gary demands, his voice sterner than anyone in his family has ever heard. “Got it?” 

Apparently his protective attitude has brought out only one response from them all. 

“Yes, sir!” They reply in unison. 

Gary takes in a deep breath then exhales through his nose, expelling the anger he feels into the night air. “Good,” Gary nods. “Let’s go home.” 

Gary moves towards their cars and that causes the rest of the group to break up like Gary just gave a game plan. 

As an afterthought, he looks over his shoulder with one last thought. 

“And _no one_ will mention this to Mom. Got it?” 

“Yes, sir!” They all shout again, this time not in perfect unison but loud and goofy. 

Gary snorts out a laugh. He shakes his head fondly as he looks forward, leading them back to their vehicles. 

Graham does hesitate a few steps back, saying goodbye to Carol with a gentle kiss. She lives in town, and while Graham offered to walk her home, she declined. She’s going to meet up with her sister at a bar just down the street. So Graham gives her another kiss before they part. 

Graham, Grant, and Gary all squeeze into Madilyn’s small Honda, pressed hip to hip and knee to knee. Meanwhile, Becca and Champ are in the back of Emma and Beau’s SUV. They pull up beside Madilyn, so she rolls down her window. 

“Why don’t we go back home since Mom and Dad will be at the cabin?” Emma suggests. “It was Becca's idea. We shouldn’t call it a night yet and Mom and Dad have the biggest house.” 

“It’s a date!” Madilyn returns, flashing Emma a wicked smile. “Race you!” 

They’re rolling away, getting the head start, but they can hear Emma’s low warning to Beau, “You better not.” She tells the man behind the wheel. 

The three brothers fall into a laughing fit at that while also trying to grip onto _anything_ so they don’t faceplant into the doors from Madilyn’s fast driving. 

Madilyn gets them back to the farm in record time, and without a speeding ticket, so Gary counts it as a win. He clambers out from the backseat, and the group of five hang out in the front yard as they wait for the rest to show. 

It takes a full five minutes before they see the headlights of the SUV. 

Becca and Champ have their back windows rolled down, and the sound of their ‘boo’s!’ get louder and louder the closer they come. 

The SUV is put in park, and Beau jumps out first, sharing a sympathetic look with Madilyn. 

“Bee,” she says cockily, coming over to put an arm over his shoulders. “Don’t take it too hard, man.” 

Beau laughs, but wraps his arm around Madilyn’s shoulders in response. 

“Madilyn,” Emma warns as her husband walks off with her sister. “Don’t corrupt him!” 

“Look, Beau’s already corrupted. He's _been_ corrupted.” Madilyn shouts back. “He still holds this town’s record-” 

“Don’t say it-” Emma tries, but Madilyn continues. 

“For muddiest _and_ fastest race down Daredevil Road!” 

Champ peeks out from behind to give a loud, “YEE!” in celebration. 

“Tone down the redneck, babe,” Becca says, but she smiles sweetly as she presses herself to Champ’s side. 

“You love it,” Champ teases. 

“I do,” Becca pecks him on the cheek, and Champ looks like he won the world.

“Gross. Get inside already,” Gary’s nose scrunches up in distaste, and Champ shoves him playfully as they pass. Gary corrals everyone inside before he jumps up the porch stairs and joins them in the living room. 

Gary shuts the door, taking a moment to absorb this moment. His family are all talking happily, arm and arm with their significant others, save for Gary and his brothers. Jasmine flicks on the yellow kitchen light, and they begin to find themselves seats around the table. The chairs are limited, so the couples sit on one another’s laps. 

“Okay,” Grant curls his nose up exactly like Gary’s. A clear sign that they’re related. “Can you love birds all, like, turn it down a notch? I’m getting nauseous.”

“Seconded,” Graham joins in as he takes a free seat next to Grant. 

“Nope,” Gary walks past to get a glass of water. He fills it, then turns to look at Graham. “You have Carol. You were just as bad as them when she was with you.” 

“Hey,” Madilyn’s tone turns jokingly offended. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call us a _them_.” 

“Okay,” Gary agrees, sarcastically genuine. “The non-single people.” 

The room laughs at that so Gary drinks his water with a smirk. 

“Me thinks someone’s bitter,” Champ teases, picking a toothpick off the table and placing it between his teeth. 

“Oh, _yeah_ ,” Gary continues his track of sarcasm. “You know me. I’m a lover just waiting to find my soulmate.” 

“I knew it,” Madilyn says seriously, slapping her free hand down on the table. The other remains around Jasmine’s waist. 

The corner of Gary’s mouth quirks up as the group quickly changes from Gary and to who the worst couple is. He listens for a bit, and laughs hard when Grant and Graham start to tear into their sisters. Which quickly gets turned back on the two elder brothers. 

Gary’s happy to stay out of it, and is even happier when he feels his phone buzz in his jacket pocket. 

He moves his glass of water to his other hand so he can pull his phone out from his pocket. 

_Unknown Number [12:23AM]_

_Call if you’re awake._

_[12:23AM]_

_Will soon._

Gary pockets the phone then interrupts the argument that has consumed the entire group. 

“I have to take a work call. Is everyone staying the night? Em, are the boys okay with the sitter?” Gary walks past the table, feeling like, not for the first time, that he’s with his soldiers. Even checking in on all of them gives him that familiar feeling. 

“Boys are with Beau’s mom and dad and are staying the night,” she answers. 

“So that’s a yes,” Madilyn nods at Gary. “We’re all staying.” 

“Good, I’ll be back down after the call.” Gary moves to the stairs, grabbing onto the banister. “Stay here!” He adds on as he starts to jog up the stairs two at a time. 

He shuts his bedroom door quietly behind him before he makes a straight beeline for his laptop. He opens it quickly, logs in, and has his hotspot on within a minute. 

Gary sits down in front of the computer, exhaling in irritation. Gary’s head hurts; he can feel his brain throbbing inside his skull and his eye is starting to swell. Gary’s definitely had worse, but he’s going to be sporting this black eye for a few days. His mom isn’t going to be happy. 

The call comes through the computer so Gary answers after the first ring. 

“Hey,” Gary says quickly. “We’ll have to do this quick because I’m babysitting.” 

_“Oh, that sounds fun, lad. Who are we babysitting tonight?”_ Soap leans forward, his smile curled up to one corner at the sound of mischief. 

“All of my siblings,” Gary returns with a roll of his eyes. “I did leave them down in the kitchen though so I should be able to hear them if they get up-”

The door to Gary’s bedroom flings open, Graham running in first. Gary watches in utter confusion as his older brother hurries around, pinning Gary’s arms behind the chair. 

“Sorry Gary!” Jasmine yells apologetically from the doorway. “I couldn’t stop them!” 

“She didn’t even try!” Becca giggles. 

“Operation We Love You Gary!” Grant shouts as he’s the first one to hug Gary. His arms wind around Gary’s neck, holding him in place as he presses kiss after kiss to the side of Gary’s head. 

“Get _off!_ ” Gary whines as he tries to get free but Graham’s too strong. 

“Hurry up, guys! He’s strong!” Graham grits from over Gary’s shoulder. He ends up letting go of Gary’s arms in favor of just hugging Gary, squeezing him hard enough that Gary’s arms are pinned at his side. 

Becca pastes herself to Gary’s other side. And then Emma hugs Gary over Becca while Madilyn squeezes in under Grant's arms to squeeze at Gary’s waist. 

Gary ends up giving in, going limp in their arms. 

“Gary, we love you!” Grant’s still loud and shouting. 

“I know,” Gary replies grumpily. 

“Tell us you love us back!” Emma demands. 

“I love you too! Now leave me alone!” Gary explodes, trying to shimmy out of their grips. 

“Okay, on _three_ -” Grant says, looking at everyone. 

There’s a pause... only the sound of crickets outside. 

“Three!” Grant shouts. 

The siblings all release Gary at the same time, racing to the door. They knew their brother too well because Gary bolts out of his chair, chasing them out of his room. 

Gary catches himself on the doorway, watching as his siblings messily hurry down the staircase. Gary could definitely catch them if he wanted to, but he’d rather they all not fall down the stairs. No one else needs some extra bruises after tonight. 

“Go to sleep already!” Gary orders. 

“Yes, sir!” They all reply in unison. 

Gary hears Jasmine’s loud, clear laugh from downstairs. 

“Alright, privates,” Jasmine says to them. “Get in bed.” 

“Yes, ma’am!” They all return again - Gary can hear the rustling of the throw blankets and couch cushions being moved around. 

Jasmine comes to the end of the stairs, Gary can hear her call up at him. 

“Won’t happen again, Gary!” Jasmine’s voice is quieter, with a tinge of a fond chuckle. 

“Okay,” Gary replies, trying his best not to sound petulant. He shuts the door, scrubs a hand down his face, and then walks back over to the computer. 

The closer he gets he can hear Soap laughing. 

Gary plops down in his chair, looking frustrated and cutely ruffled after the attack. 

Gary glares at the screen before he says, “Kiss my ass.” 

_“I’ll get in line behind Ghost,”_ Soap returns, wiping at the corner of his eyes. 

Gary’s eyes flit to the side of the screen, landing on Ghost. Ghost, who’s in his mask, one ankle propped up on his knee, hands locked behind his head. Gary then rolls his eyes, hiding his face in his hands. He takes in a deep breath, and then exhales with a groan. 

_“Don’t you have a lock on your door?”_ Soap continues his ribbing. 

“No. It’s an old farmhouse.” Gary lifts his face out from hiding to answer Soap’s question.

_“How’d you get the blackeye?”_ Ghost interjects, taking away Soap’s chance at another jab.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Gary crosses his arms on the table, quirking a brow at Ghost. So what? Gary might be a little annoyed right now so it’s making him a little mouthy. Big deal. 

_“Oi,”_ Soap says lowly, looking from Gary to Ghost and then back to Gary. _“He’s worried about his little bug. Is that a crime?”_

_“Having time away has turned him into a spoiled brat.”_ Ghost returns breezily, looking content and cozy leaning back in his chair. 

_“No, mate. He was already spoiled when he left. You made sure of that.”_

_“Oi, I did no such thing.”_ Ghost sounds mildly offended now, getting lost in his argument with Soap. 

_“Oi, you did.”_ Soap returns pointedly, mocking Ghost’s choice of exclamation.

“If either of you say ‘oi’ one more time I’m going to disconnect the call.” Gary threatens emptily, setting them with a stern look. He hates to admit it, but he always finds it rather cute when Ghost and Soap argue like brothers. Gary knows that they don’t have many other people in their lives (or none at all) other than the 141. So he’s glad they have each other. 

But they can get really annoying.

_“I already told you both. I don’t play favorites.”_ Ghost says in an attempt to get the last word in. 

Gary, on the other hand, is sleepy, and grumpy, and sore from punching that dumb jerk right in the face tonight. So he gives Ghost an unimpressed look through the screen and makes sure that _he_ gets the last word in. 

“Right,” Gary says dryly. “Because you’re stealing the mess hall brownies and hiding them in your room for _everyone_ in the 141.” 

Soap gasps dramatically, his head snapping in Ghost’s direction. Ghost has sat up now, his elbows on his knee and one finger lifted to try and butt in. Soap’s too loud and excited at the news though, smacking Ghost relatively gently on the back of his head. 

_“I knew you were stealing those for Roach-”_

_“Not stealing-”_

_“You don’t even like those bloody brownies-”_

_“Those brownies are given to everyone - whether they like them or not, so it’s not stealing. And, no, I don’t like them but Roach does so why let them go to waste?”_

_“Mate…”_ Soap trails off, the edge of amusement in his tone. 

Ghost moves fast as he punches Soap’s shoulder but Soap only laughs. Apparently Soap’s gotten Ghost caught in something that Gary won’t bother investigating. Besides, those two rarely have a motive for causing trouble other than just being bored. 

_“That’s the last time I do anything nice for you, Roach. Soap’s going to tell everyone I’m soft now.”_

“Because you are, Simon.” Gary’s tone is fond, on the edge of giggling from how flustered he and Soap have Ghost. Gary sees his opportunity to truly frustrate the other, finally a chance to have the upper hand. So Gary takes it. “You’re so cute. Soap, did you know Ghost told me he has a soft spot for me?” 

Soap turns to Ghost with a mockingly soft pout on his face. Soap puts both of his hands over his heart as he coos, _“Oh, mate.”_

_“Fuck you both. Roach isn’t providing context.”_

Gary lifts his brows, accepting Ghost’s challenge. “Oh, you want me to give Soap context? Okay-” 

_“Roach, shut your mouth or you’ll pay for it when you come back. Are we doing the briefing or not?”_

“Isn’t he cute when he’s angry?” Gary continues, putting emphasis on _cute_. “I can’t get over how adorable he is-” 

Soap’s consumed with laughter while the proverbial smoke starts to come out of Ghost’s ears. 

_“Sanderson,”_ Ghost says between gritted teeth. 

Gary clears his throat, and with it he loses the playful tone from before. He doesn’t hide his smirk, but his voice turns professional as he says, “Yes, sir.” 

_“Enough with this lover’s spat already boys. Act professionally, for heaven’s sake.”_ Soap’s voice is laden with sarcasm to let the two know that he’s joking, as if his sweet smile didn’t do that enough already. _“Roach.”_

“Yes, sir?” Gary straightens up, putting on his mask of professionalism like Soap requested. 

_“We’ve got some intel to go over with you. Pop some headphones in and buckle up.”_

“One sec,” Gary stands, hurrying over to his bedside table to grab his headphones. He throws them down on his desk, the strings lying over his keyboard and mouse pad messily. 

Gary tugs at the sleeves of his jacket, but bends at the waist to get his face in front of the camera. 

“Did you guys have breakfast?” He questions as he pulls his jacket down and off his torso. Gary straightens so he can hook it on the back of his chair. He sits back down, back in frame as he scoots closer to the webcam. 

Gary’s two hands lift to work at the top button of his shirt, flicking that loose. It doesn’t feel freeing enough, and it’s still warm in the house so Gary undoes another button. With a low sigh, Gary runs his hand under his shirt to get the fabric off his shoulders and the back of his neck while he waits for their reply. 

_“We did,”_ Soap answers with the corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile he’s trying to hide. 

Gary runs a hand through his hair, tousling the short wavy locks. He’s sweating a little, so his hair sticks up at odd angles, yet Gary doesn’t find a bone in his body that cares. He’s _still_ sore and _still_ tired and _still_ grumpy. 

“What’s so funny?” Gary inquires as he finally sits back in his chair and lets his hands fall to his thighs.

_“Nothing, mate. You look good. Did you have a good night besides the black eye?”_

“Great night,” Gary answers Soap’s question. He reaches out to untangle the headphones before he pops one in each ear. Gary plugs them in and is satisfied with how clear he can hear the couple on the other side of the screen. “Went to a restaurant that was ridiculously fancy and ridiculously expensive, but the food was good.” 

_“Don’t like a bit of pampering?”_ Soap inquires as he opens his folder and readies his papers. 

Gary leans forward, one elbow on the table. He leans his head into that hand, scratching at his scalp. It feels _nice_ , So Gary’s eyes close and he embraces his own touch. 

“Depends on the pampering,” Gary answers with a muted smirk. His eyes open just in time to see Soap’s eyebrows dance up and down, making an innuendo out of Gary’s words. 

“Captain, with all due respect, you have a dirty mind.” Gary returns fondly. “When’s this briefing going to start?” 

_“Right now,”_ Soap sits forward, throwing his folder down onto his table. 

He jumps into the briefing, changing quickly from his playful side to his serious side. Gary always respected Soap’s efforts in keeping a smile not only on his own face but everyone else’s as well. Soap knows when it’s time to play and when it’s time to work, which Gary finds to be a valuable, and honorable, trait. 

He carries on for nearly an hour, having Ghost butt in every now and then for additional details or help explaining what he means when his own words fail him. Finally, Soap flips the manila folder closed with a heavy sigh. 

_“That was a lot of information, Roach. You got it all?”_

“Always,” Gary promises his captain.

_"_ _Good lad,”_ Soap praises as he stands from the chair. _“I’m off to make sure this shite gets filed right. Nighty-night, Roach.”_

“Goodnight, Soap,” Gary tells his captain, watching Soap pat Ghost on the head with his folder fondly before he leaves. 

Ghost wastes no time pulling himself up to MacTavish’s desk. Gary’s lieutenant lets out a heavy sigh which makes Gary smile. Apparently Ghost is still annoyed from earlier. 

_“Still proud of yourself, I see.”_ Ghost comments, leaning back in his chair. He’s got his hands locked over his belly, and one ankle resting up on his knee. 

Gary bites his bottom lip to hold back a larger smile. 

_“You’ll pay for that, bug.”_

Gary cracks and lets out a soft laugh. His eyes fall to his hand, fingers tapping minutely against the surface of his desk. A question pops up in Gary’s mind; is this flirting? That alone makes his smile fall. Gary doesn’t want to think about that right now-

_“So are you going to tell me where that black eye came from or am I going to have to force it out of you?”_

“Ah,” Gary clears his throat, bringing his eyes back to the camera. “My brother got into some trouble a while ago. I actually just found out about it last weekend… That trouble came back around tonight and made a show.” 

Ghost hums at that. Gary can _feel_ Ghost seething under his mask, upset that Gary got hurt. 

“Stop that,” Gary warns, giving Ghost a knowing look. 

_“You made sure that trouble won’t come back, yes?”_

Gary rolls his eyes before setting Ghost with another look. “I didn’t _kill_ him, Ghost. But yes. He won’t be coming back.” 

_“That’s my bug.”_ Ghost praises, his voice low and gravelly. 

Gary feels himself warm over again, but squashes that down as fast as he can by pinching his thigh. Now is _not_ the time. 

“Give me a second,” Gary requests, popping an earbud out. “I’m sick and tired of these civvies.” 

Ghost nods so Gary doesn’t wait. He stands, moving to his dresser and pulling out the top drawer. He’s got a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt in hand, then comes back to his chair. The clothes get thrown down on top of the desk, and then he pops his earbuds in speedily. 

Gary smiles at the screen as he situates himself in his chair. 

_“What were you out celebrating?”_

Gary grabs his shirt, then shrugs. “Just a family dinner. Mom wanted everyone to dress nice so we could take pictures.” 

_“Did you?”_

Gary reaches for the third button on his shirt, but freezes when he hears Ghost’s tone. Gary sets him with a look, then laughs when Ghost tips his head forward, signifying that he’s giving Gary a matching look under his glasses. 

“I’m not sending you any.” Gary says as he undoes his button, then moves down to the next one. 

_“I suppose having you undress in front of me will have to do.”_

Gary stops.

Flirting. 

This is… flirting. It's got to be. Gary’s brain burns with the thought. He’s being ridiculous… he and Ghost _together_ just isn't realistic. Whatever they’re doing right now is just… it’s how they are. They’ve been apart for months so maybe that’s why the dynamic is off. And Gary having _dreams_ too. That's another problem. 

Gary’s not sure why he says it. But he does. 

“If you want me to continue then you’ll have to take the mask off.” Gary’s bartering now. He’s bartering _undressing_ to see Ghost’s face. What’s happening? Gary almost takes back his words but Ghost is already speaking. 

_“Send me a picture too and we have a deal.”_

Gary’s lips part as he stares at the screen. Waiting for any indication that Ghost is joking. 

He doesn’t get one, so Gary continues. 

“Deal. You first.” 

Ghost sets his glasses down on the desk coolly before he reaches under the collar of his jacket. He grabs the edge of the mask before he pulls it up, taking it off completely. He throws it down on the table, then runs a hand through his matted down hair. 

Gary cracks a smile. 

_“Don’t look at me like that,”_ Ghost warns.

Gary doesn’t say it, he knows he has already poked the bear enough for tonight, but Ghost looks cute. His dark hair sticks up on one side, matted down on the other. He’s got mask-hair, which Gary has always found endearing on his lieutenant. 

Gary’s glad to see that the scratches from last time have healed, and it appears that Ghost has recently shaved. His face is smoother than Gary’s used to, and he’s wondering what it would feel like to glide his fingertips down Ghost’s smooth jaw. Wonders what the contrast between Ghost’s stubble and his smooth face would feel like

_“You next.”_ Ghost brings Gary out of his thoughts, tilting his chin in Gary’s direction. 

Gary reaches for his shirt, only to pause. “Shirt or-” 

_“Shirt.”_ Ghost instructs, making hot arousal pool in Gary’s groin. 

Gary swallows as he undoes his fourth button, continuing down slowly. He could make it fast if he wanted to, he knows Ghost wouldn’t stop him, but something in Gary makes him take his time. He likes having Ghost’s eyes on him… Gary likes how he feels undressing for Ghost. 

Gary leaves the shirt hanging open, loose on his shoulders, but doesn’t make a move to take it off. He waits… wanting to see if Ghost will ask. 

_“Take it off.”_

The command comes, and Gary barely staves off a shiver. 

“I don’t get a ‘please’?” Gary’s voice doesn’t waver, but he’s quiet. His voice barely above a whisper.

Ghost cracks a smile, lifting a brow at the camera. Gary hates how his breath catches at how handsome Ghost is. 

_“We already made the deal, Roach. Saying please wasn’t part of it. Now take it off.”_

Gary’s face is hot. He can feel the flush on his chest; skin hot under his fingertips. He tries to glower at the camera, but he can see his own camera feed in the lower left corner. He knows how red he looks, and how blown his pupils are. He’s almost embarrassed… Ghost doesn’t look nearly as debauched as he does. 

“ _Fine_.” Gary bites out, letting the fabric slip off his shoulders. It catches in the creases of his elbows, leaving his soft white shirt around his waist. Gary knows how he looks - he knows he looks good like this. His hair tousled, skin flushed, half undressed. 

All for Ghost. 

_“All the way, bug.”_

Gary feels the power imbalance down to his core, and he hates how hot he finds this all. He lets the fabric fall the rest of the way to the ground, not bothering to pick it up. It’s discarded and forgotten as he sits bare in front of the camera. In front of Ghost’s watchful gaze. 

Gary reaches for his pajama shirt, slipping his first arm into it only to be stopped. 

_“Not yet. Let me see you.”_

Ghost’s voice hits that same gravelly tone as before that makes Gary’s dick rock hard. He feels _needy_ again, and now he actually has Ghost watching him. Like he imagined last time Ghost made him hard. When Gary fucked himself to the thought of Ghost’s eyes on him. 

“Fuck-” Gary gasps, then, “Ghost-” 

_“Ghost,”_ MacTavish’s voice comes through the call. _“You’ll have to cut your call short. I need you.”_

Ghost’s eyes are on MacTavish as he talks, but then Ghost nods. He turns back to the camera, already standing. 

_“Roach, I expect that picture before you go to bed.”_

Gary deflates with an exhale. 

_“Roach.”_ Ghost’s tone is something Gary recognizes. He knows what he needs to do. 

“Yes, sir,” Gary grumbles. 

_“Goodnight, princess.”_

Gary holds back the groan he wants to release. He’s sure Ghost is smirking, but his face is out of view of his webcam. 

“Goodnight, Lieutenant Riley.” Gary responds before he sees the call end. 

Gary knows that his family is still awake downstairs, he can hear their low murmurs back and forth, which makes this situation even _worse_ . He can’t believe he’s sitting in his bedroom, with a _boner_ that his lieutenant gave him. Could Gary's life get any worse? 

He huffs a frustrated breath out through his nose, which feels a little petulant, but Gary’s in the solace of his own bedroom. He’ll allow himself to act a little childish right now. 

He slips on his sleep shirt, then pushes his pants down to his ankles and kicks them off his legs. He slips into a loose fitting pair of gym shorts, careful to tuck his hard-on down past the elastic waistband of his shorts. 

Annoyed. That’s what Gary is. 

He bounces down on the edge of his bed, giving himself five minutes for his dick to soften and the flush on his cheeks to go away. 

It takes a full seven minutes for Gary to recover. 

Once Gary feels like he has a semblance of control on his bodily functions again, he comes out from his room, shutting the door gently behind him. He sneaks down the stairs, an idea forming in his head already. He’ll get some payback on his siblings…

He can hear their voices clearer the closer he gets, and stays low as he enters the living room. Gary ducks behind the couch, now just a mere feet from the other Sandersons (and their spouses). 

Gary takes in a deep breath, and then stands up in a flash. He lets out a deep and ferocious, “RAH!” 

There’s a pair of screams, one distinctly female and one distinctly male. Gary’s pretty sure it was Emma and Graham. There’s a round of surprised gasps, and a few coughs from how violently they gasped. 

“Gary!” Madilyn curses, displeased. 

“Hi,” Gary smiles sweetly, placing his hands on the back of the couch. 

“I think I’m having a heart attack,” Grant breathes, with one hand placed firmly over his breast. 

Gary climbs over the back of the couch, plopping down in the open space beside Grant. 

“No you’re not,” Gary scoffs, reaching out to shove Grant’s head to the side. 

“Not this time!” Grant argues jokingly, trying to look offended. “But I could have!” 

Gary just laughs, shaking his head at Grant’s antics. 

“Is that your payback or are you going to get us again?” Becca questions from the corner, where she’s tucked under a blanket, with a couch pillow under her head. 

“That’s my payback,” Gary answers with a smirk. He sits back into the corner of the couch, getting comfortable. “Although I should be meaner since you interrupted a work call.” 

“Yeah _right_.” Madilyn scoffs, waving Gary off. “You were yucking it up with your buddies.” 

“We had very serious things to talk about,” Gary insists (not-so-seriously). 

“He’s a super secret soldier,” Graham chastises from where he sits, back pressed against their dad’s ancient recliner. “I believe him.” 

It only takes a matter of minutes for the Sandersons to get lost in one topic, which leads to the next, and then the two topics mingle together, almost creating a whole other topic on its own. Gary watches on with a fond smile… a little sleepy, and having no thought-out replies to add in. 

An hour hasn’t even passed when Gary feels his phone buzz against his thigh. 

Gary has a debate, whether he should pull his phone out and look, but it only lasts a second. He grabs onto his phone, unlocking the screen, and reading the text message. 

_Unknown Number [1:53AM]_

_Lt. Riley?_

_[1:53AM]_

_What’s wrong?_

_Unknown Number [1:53AM]_

_Don’t call me that._

_[1:54AM]_

_Why? Like it too much?_

Gary’s far too pleased to have finally gotten a chance to throw Ghost’s words back at him. He knows he’s smiling down at his phone, so he tries to contain his smirk to prevent Madilyn bringing up his grin to the rest of the group. 

_Unknown Number [1:55AM]_

_Don’t be like that, princess._

_[1:55AM]_

_Like what, Lieutenant Riley?_

_Unknown Number [1:56AM]_

_I stand by my statement earlier. You’re a brat._

_Unknown Number [1:56AM]_

_Still waiting for my picture._

_[1:57AM]_

_You said before bed. I’m not in bed yet._

_Unknown Number [1:58AM]_

_Brat._

Gary can’t fight off the smile any longer. He brings his feet up onto the couch, knees up, and curls into the cushion. He loves talking to Ghost… and he loves how playful his lieutenant is. Gary would be lying if he said it didn’t give him butterflies. 

_[1:58AM]_

_Maybe I should change the terms of our deal..._

_Unknown Number [1:59AM]_

_Stop talking._

_[1:59AM]_

_Yes, sir._

“I don’t think we’ll need Carol to hook Gary up anymore,” Becca teases. 

Hearing his name, Gary glimpses up from his phone with a puzzled pout on his face. 

“What are you talking about?” He questions, locking his phone and resting it on his knee. 

Emma wiggles her brows as she tilts her head in the direction of Gary’s phone. “Don’t think we all haven’t noticed the lovey dovey smiles every time you’re texting your mystery person. It’s really cute, honestly.” 

“Yeah,” Grant agrees, pulling a pillow over to prop under his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Gary crushing on anyone. This is a nice change.”

“What?” Gary’s laugh mixes with his scoff. “I’m not crushing on anyone. It’s-” 

“Work?” Becca, Emma, and Madilyn all finish in unison. 

“It is!” Gary defends against their knowing smiles. 

“Right… because I always smile whimsically when I’m thinking about work.” Emma says under her breath, but in a quiet room like this everyone hears her. 

“Yeah, seriously,” Grant snickers. “There’s no way you’re talking to or about work.” 

“Good thing it’s none of your business,” Gary snips back, giving his siblings all a pointed look. There’s no heat behind his words, but it is a warning. 

Madilyn leans into Jasmine’s side, and Jasmine begins to play with her hair in return. Madilyn yawns, stretching her legs out in front of her and flexing her toes. She clears her throat at the end of her yawn, and then annoys Gary further with the next words out of her mouth. 

“Is it Simon?” 

All eyes in the room turn to Gary. Everyone but Madilyn. Until she picks up on the silence, that is. She looks around the room confusedly before noticing everyone looking at Gary expectantly. 

Gary catches her apologetic gaze and quirks one, annoyed brow. 

“Who’s Simon?” Emma presses a finger in the subject, much like prodding at a bruise. Gary would _much_ rather not talk about this. 

“He’s my lieutenant and my friend.” Gary’s words are pointed, trying his best to take their minds away from whatever it is they’re headed towards. 

“Oh~,” Graham’s wiggling his eyebrows in the same fashion Emma had only moments ago. “Are you getting some sugar on the side?” 

Gary snorts, giving Graham an incredulous look. “What?” 

“You know,” Graham’s eyebrows dance up and down repeatedly as he lifts his drink. He takes a healthy gulp from his beer before he lowers it back to his knee. 

“No, I don’t know!” Gary exclaims with a clueless laugh. 

“Are you getting some lovin’ from your lieutenant?” Graham replies as if it should be obvious, lifting his beer for another sip. 

“Of-” Gary begins, his face turning bright red at Graham’s accusation. He feels _guilty,_ especially considering the fact Gary was just stripping for Ghost a few minutes prior… “Of course not!” 

The room dissolves into a fit of laughter at Gary’s expense, which makes him glower through his blush. 

“That’s _so_ inappropriate.” Gary tells them scoldingly. Their laughter doesn’t soften, so Gary just shakes his head in disapproval. 

“Yeah, fair.” Graham says through his giggles. “But you should see your face right now.” 

“Gary and Simon sitting in a-” 

Gary doesn’t let Grant finish that sentence. He bounds out of his corner on the couch, tackling his brother down and placing him in a chokehold immediately. His phone is lost somewhere underneath them, but he doesn’t care. He’s reached his limit of dealing with his annoying siblings. 

“Gary!” Grant chokes out. 

“Say it again!” Gary threatens, twisting expertly so he has Grant’s arm trapped between his legs. Gary pulls back and Grant shouts out in pain. 

“Gary!” Madilyn says through her laughter. “Let him go!” 

“Grant, tell me when you want me to tap in!” Graham calls with a high-pitched giggle.

“Gary and Simon sitting in a-OW, GARY, LET GO!” Grant’s laughing through his pain, trying his hardest to get Gary off of him. He’s desperate at this point, so he bites at Gary’s knee. 

Gary shifts again, sliding over Grant's form to get him from behind. He’s got an arm around Grant’s throat again, an expert in his movements. 

“K-I-S-S- OW, GARY THAT HURTS, -I-N-G!” Grant rushes out before he goes limp in Gary’s arm, playing possum. 

“Grant, stop. I’m going to kick your ass. You can’t play dead to get out of this.” Gary grits his teeth as he tries to get Grant to sit up straight again, but his brother only sags back against him, going as far as to let his tongue loll out of one side of his mouth. 

“You’re _so annoying_.” Gary grumbles as he shoves Grant off of him. He clambers back to his side of the couch. 

“Okay, note to self: don’t bring up Simon around Gary. Touchy subject.” Graham writes on his palm with an imaginary pen, making Emma and Becca laugh. 

“Gary, don’t be so dramatic.” Emma rolls her eyes. “It’s cute! I’m also glad you have friends…” 

Gary throws his arms up into the air in exasperation. “Madilyn said the same thing! Why do you guys think I wouldn’t have friends?” 

“I don’t know!” Emma’s voice rises to match Gary’s, but she’s smirking. “Your circle of friends never fit the jock-soldier type. I guess I just assumed you wouldn’t get along well with… most of them.” 

Gary stares at her, so Emma’s expression turns apologetic. 

“I’m sorry!” Emma grimaces. 

“It’s true,” Becca jumps in, leaning sleepily against her husband. “Emma has a point.” 

Gary sighs dryly, rubbing a hand down his face. “It’s important to remember that I didn’t join the military to make friends. They’re my soldiers first. But it does help that I get along with them.” 

“Gary, I can't tell if you’re the most boring person I know or the most interesting.” Emma shoots back, crossing one ankle over the other. “I know you do all this cool, secretive stuff. But you talk like you’re fifty and retired.”

Gary absorbs the round of laughter at his expense with a small smile. 

“Yeah, Gar. Can’t you tell us _a little bit?_ Just a teensy bit.” Grant asks from where he’s still limp against the couch. He doesn’t make any effort to sit back up. 

Gary opens his mouth, a no already on the tip of his tongue, but Madilyn interjects. 

“How about the scariest thing you’ve ever done?” Madlyn’s brows lift gingerly, so Gary knows there’s no pressure to answer. But he also knows that his siblings are genuinely curious, and they want to know more about what their brother has been doing for the last decade that kept him away from home. 

Gary remembers Ghost’s words from a few months ago. _Tell them what you can so they understand._

“I swear to God, if any of you tell Mom _any of this_ I’ll murder you myself.” Gary threatens, but he sees all of their faces light up. They’re happy Gary’s exterior is cracking. “Also… just don’t… worry about me. Okay? I don’t want you guys sitting at home worried sick when I go back.” 

“Gary,” Grant sits up, his hair rustled and looking tired. Grant smiles at his younger brother, a sad yet proud smile. “Do you think we don’t do that already?”

Gary feels a flash of embarrassment, but the tender moment is interrupted when Emma’s husband Beau lets out a loud snore. All eyes turn to find him fast asleep, face flat on the floor. 

Emma rolls her eyes with a fond smile while the Sanderson siblings all crumble into laughter. 

“Shh!” Emma tries to quiet them. “Or else Gary might change his mind.” 

Gary groans as he sinks back into the cushions, but sighs. “Alright… so the scariest thing I’ve ever done…” 

They all grow silent, like a class of kids ready for story time. 

Gary feels an awkward pressure weigh down on his shoulders. He’ll have to censor himself, he’ll have to be careful not to reveal something he’s not supposed to. Besides, he was serious when he said he doesn’t want them to worry. And a lot of what Gary could tell them is worry-material. 

“I was once climbing up a mountain of ice when the ice shattered underneath me.” Gary offers. He thinks he did a good job with that… not too much detail. 

“Oh,” Becca blinks, as if she’s not comprehending it. “But you were wearing a harness and-” 

The look on Gary’s face alone tells Becca that he was definitely not wearing any safety gear. More like just a pair of ice tools and toe picks. But she doesn’t need to know the specifics… she gets the idea since she gasps and looks close to scolding him.

“What happened then?” Madilyn sits forward, genuinely invested in the story. 

“My captain caught me,” Gary answers, starting to feel tense with this line of questioning. “Okay, what else do you want to know?” 

“That totally doesn’t feel like the scariest thing you’ve experienced,” Graham challenges with a pair of narrowed eyes.

“That’s as scary as I’m going to tell you,” Gary shoots back. “Next question.” 

“What is the most beautiful place you’ve been to?” Becca questions, curled into Champ’s side. “We’re looking for vacation ideas.”

“I can’t tell you specifically where. It was in central Europe. We had to stay there for a few weeks and it was incredibly peaceful.” Gary runs a hand through his hair as he continues. “If you give me specific places, I’ll tell you which ones are worth going to and which ones aren’t.” 

Becca gives Gary a sleepy smile and a thumbs up.

“Okay you get two more questions. Who’s next?” 

“Have you ever almost died?” 

Gary meets Emma’s look, seeing her eyes guarded at her own question. He knows she doesn’t want to hear the answer, but part of her also needs to hear it. She’s probably thought about it endlessly since Gary joined… 

“Em, I think you know that answer.” Gary tells her quietly. 

Emma sighs, letting her head hang. “I know,” she grumbles before she lifts her eyes and looks at Gary pleading. “I just need to hear you say it or else I’ll start thinking I’m crazy.” 

Gary sighs in return, a heavy, weighted sigh. He scrubs at his jaw before he nods. He knows they’re all watching him, and for some reason he feels guilty admitting this. As if he should have tried harder in the past… that he never should have let missions get so out of hand that he could have lost his life. 

“Yes,” Gary admits with pain in his voice. “But I knew what I was signing up for,” Gary tries to defend himself, “I know and have accepted that one of these missions will be my last. I’m at peace with it.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Grant curses under his breath, shaking his head at Gary’s words. 

“Okay, next question before this gets more depressing.” Gary claps his hands together, looking around the room expectantly. 

Grant, who sits right beside Gary, speaks up, with his eyes pointed at the ground. 

“When are you going to leave?” Grant’s voice is gentle, careful not to sound too heartbroken. Gary appreciates that, since Grant’s eyes hurt Gary enough when he finally glimpses over. 

“Soon,” Gary tells them, his eyes scanning over each of his siblings. “Within two months. I’ve already spoken to my captain and lieutenant about it… I was just waiting for the right time to tell you all.” 

The room all seems to deflate at that. The night was fun, unpredictable, and they were unwinding in their living room as if they were all teenagers again. Yet Gary’s news brought them back down to reality. Gary’s going to be gone again… these moments won’t happen anymore. 

“I promise to come back more,” Gary says quietly, trying to stop them from frowning. 

“You better,” Grant cracks a sad smile. “Or else I’ll write ‘Gary was a big loser’ on your gravestone.” 

He gets a few laughs for that, but Emma sets him with a warning look. 

“How about we don’t joke about Gary dying, okay?” She requests, then shuffles back into her husband.

Grant turns to Gary, giving him an apologetic shrug. “Sorry, Gar.” 

“It’s all good,” Gary pokes his brother with his elbow. “At least I know who not to leave in charge of my funeral services.” 

The group laughs again, even Emma cracks a smile, despite her glaring at her two brothers. 

“Okay,” Gary stands, “I won’t joke about me dying anymore. So are we all sleeping down here or are we going to our rooms? Please say rooms.” 

“Rooms,” Becca agrees, climbing to her feet. She holds out her hand and Champ takes it with a loving smile. “Gar, can you loan some shirts to Champ and Beau?” 

“Sure,” Gary agrees, taking up the rear as he follows behind his siblings. “Good thing Mom always keeps everyone’s room ready.” 

Madilyn laughs, “She’s going to be so upset she wasn’t here for the spontaneous sleepover.”

“We’ll do it again,” Gary promises now that they’re on the top floor. 

“Before you leave!” Becca demands.

“Yes,” Gary laughs fondly. “Before I leave.” 

“Who’s making breakfast tomorrow?” Grant calls from down the hall, pushing his way into his bedroom already. 

“You!” Emma calls back from across the hall. 

Gary can’t tame his smile, watching everyone filter into their rooms. He’s glad he can be here for this…

“Champ! Beau!” Gary shouts as he moves into his bedroom. He pulls out two t-shirts off the top of the pile. The pair show up in Gary’s doorway so he throws the articles of clothing in their direction. Beau catches them, kindly handing one off to Champ. 

“Thanks, Gar!” Beau says as he moves towards Emma’s bedroom. 

“Love you, Gar!” Champ calls as he jogs down to Becca’s room. 

Gary walks to the doorway, hand on either side as he leans out into the hall. “Goodnight!” 

“Night!” Grant shouts. 

“I love you all!” Graham yells. 

“Love you too, doofus!” Becca shouts. 

“Hey, I’m trying to sleep!” Madilyn teases. 

“Then sleep, loser!” Emma teases right back. 

Gary shakes his head, raising his voice as they all start to bicker. “GoodNIGHT! Stop talking!” 

This time he gets a response from everyone, in perfect unison. 

“Goodnight!” 

With a warm smile, Gary clicks his door shut. 

Tonight was good. Somehow… somehow such a messy night turned into such a wonderful memory that Gary won’t forget. This is something he’ll always cherish. 

Gary climbs on top of his sheets, falling back against his pillows with an exhale. 

He’s happy. 

Gary’s eyes flutter shut, his breathing evens out, and he nearly falls asleep. Until he remembers that he still has to live up to his end of the deal. 

A sense of dread saddles up right next to his joy. 

With a groan, Gary rolls over onto his stomach before he pulls his phone out from his pocket. He opens his and Ghost’s messages and reads… and he smiles.

He likes Ghost so much. As much as he despises his siblings teasing, he thinks they’re right. Gary has a crush. 

And he still has to send Ghost a picture. 

_[2:20AM]_

_I’m in bed._

It takes exactly two minutes and thirty-five seconds before Gary gets a response.

_Unknown Number [2:22AM]_

_I’ll wait._

Gary groans, exiting the messages and moving to his camera roll. He didn’t take many pictures, he left that up to his siblings. He took enough for his own collection, but they’re all of his family. Not one includes him. There’s one of Grant and Graham playing rock-paper-scissors over the last breadstick. There’s a picture of Madilyn and Jasmine giving cheesy thumbs-ups, with Becca and Emma behind them, giving the couple bunny-ears. 

With a sigh, Gary opens his text messages between himself and Madilyn. 

_[2:25AM]_

_Hey, can you send me some pics from tonight?_

_Madilyn [2:25AM]_

_Image._

_Image._

_Image._

_Image._

_Image._

_Image._

_Image._

_Image._

_Image._

_Madilyn [2:26AM]_

_What are they for? Don’t tell me you have secret social media._

_[2:26AM]_

_No, Mads. It’s just for me._

_Madilyn [2:27AM]_

_Is that so?_

_[2:27AM]_

_Yes, what else would I be doing with them?_

_Madilyn [2:28AM]_

_Right… Totally not sending them to anyone._

_Madilyn [2:28AM]_

_Image._

_Image._

_Madilyn [2:29AM]_

_Here are two pics for you to NOT send to anyone because that’s not what you’re doing._

_[2:30AM]_

_Goodnight, Madilyn._

_Madilyn [2:31AM]_

_;)_

Gary shakes his head at his sister’s intuition. He won’t feed into it, but it blows his mind how well she knows him… 

Gary opens the last two messages she sent him, and waits for the images to load. 

Now Gary understands why Madilyn sent these. 

His cheeks pinken looking at the image of himself. His profile is to the camera, laughing at something Graham said across the table. His eyes twinkle, and his skin is warm from the gentle lighting in the restaurant. Gary looks… handsome. But just the _thought_ of sending this to Ghost has Gary blushing. 

The other picture is sillier. It’s when Gary realized Madilyn was taking his picture. He’s winking at the camera, giving a toothy smile while pressing the tip of his free hand into his cheek. It’s cuter, with the yellow light shining against his golden-brunette hair. 

Gary groans into his pillow. 

_[2:38AM]_

_What kind of picture are you wanting?_

Gary chews on his lower lip as he awaits an answer. He hopes what he’s asking makes sense… 

_Unknown Number [2:39AM]_

_One with you in it._

Gary sighs. Maybe enough jokes will lessen this tension.

_[2:40AM]_

_Promise you’ll tell me I’m pretty._

_Unknown Number [2:41AM]_

_Love, you’re the prettiest one in the TF. You don’t need me to tell you that._

_[2:41AM]_

_Shut up._

_Unknown Number [2:42AM]_

_Send me my picture already._

_[2:42AM]_

_You’re the worst._

_[2:42AM]_

_Image._

_Image._

Gary stares at his phone after sending the two pictures Madilyn provided. His heart feels heavier and heavier as the seconds pass... Five minutes. Ghost makes him wait _five minutes_ until he sends his reply.

_Unknown Number [2:47AM]_

_You’re pretty._

_[2:47AM]_

_Shut up._

_Unknown Number [2:48AM]_

_That’s twice in one night. You better watch yourself._

_[2:49AM]_

_Want to make it a third?_

_Unknown Number [2:50AM]_

_Princess…_

Gary flushes all over, heat curling in his groin. 

_[2:51AM]_

_What are you doing today?_

_Unknown Number [2:52AM]_

_Mindless office work._

_Unknown Number [2:52AM]_

_Image._

Gary opens the picture. 

It’s a picture of their shared office, Gary’s, Soap’s, and Ghost’s. The room looks empty, and Gary can see a few things on Ghost’s desk, while the bottom half of the picture is of Ghost’s lap. Wearing a pair of his camo pants.

_[2:54AM]_

_I wish I was there._

_Unknown Number [2:54AM]_

_My lap?_

Gary snorts at the response. This time his blush is satisfying. He likes when Ghost teases him…

_[2:55AM]_

_Exactly._

_Unknown Number [2:56AM]_

_I thought so. You can have a seat when you come back._

_[2:57AM]_

_Sounds like you’ll enjoy it more than me._

_Unknown Number [2:57AM]_

_I’ll make it good for both of us._

_Unknown Number [2:58AM]_

_Go to sleep, princess._

_[2:59AM]_

_Yes, Lieutenant Riley._

_Unknown Number [3:00AM]_

_Brat._

Gary locks his phone, placing it on the bedside table with a satisfied smile. He slips under his covers, pressing his cheek to his pillow with a few thoughts in his mind. 

He likes how Ghost makes him feel.

The other thought? 

Well. 

Gary’s picturing himself in Ghost’s lap. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :) Thanks for reading!! The 3-4 week hiatus will start soon. I've already been trying to fill in the gaps, but I keep getting stuck between wanting to write some self-indulgent chapters versus chapters that will actually progress the story. 
> 
> I did create a twitter, but I don't know if I have the energy to keep up with it right now. I apologize guys <3 I'll let you know if that changes!


	11. Stay

Gary thinks he’s probably as drunk as he’s ever been in his entire life. He doesn’t drink, but he did tonight because his siblings asked him to and Gary _wanted_ to have fun with them. He wants to let them have a slice of normal with him before he leaves again because they deserve that. After all, seeing every single one of their faces filled with disappointment when he said he’d be going soon was hard to take. 

The morning after he and his siblings woke up they asked one thing from Gary. Let them take their sweet baby brother out on the upcoming Saturday for drinks before he goes back to his super secret soldier job, whenever that may be. Their words, not his. But the request was harmless and easy to accommodate so Gary agreed.

Now it’s Saturday and they’re home, thanks to Champ and Beau being the kind and caring designated drivers. The two sober in-laws get the tipsy Sandersons home safe and sound, save for Grant falling into the bushes in front of the house, which he seems to have a knack for doing. It takes both Champ and Beau to pull Grant out from the bushes, but they get him out safely with only a few scrapes to whine about. 

This does send everyone into a laughing fit, even Champ and Beau, which is why it took _both_ of them to get Grant out. They were laughing so hard that their muscles grew weak, and they failed getting Grant free a handful of times before which only made everyone laugh harder when their brother fell back into the bushes over and over. 

Emma had to sit on the porch steps since her legs were too weak to carry her further, and Becca was hunched over, with her hands on her knees as she shook with laughter. Graham stumbled in his own fit of laughter and reached out to Gary to steady himself - the problem is that he only sent both of them down into the dirt, landing right on their asses. 

“You guys are weak,” Madilyn says through her giggles. She has an arm around Jasmine’s shoulders. Jasmine, Madilyn's caring and responsible girlfriend, is nearly as sober as Champ and Beau (although she did have a beer or two at the bar). So she manages to keep Madilyn standing rather easily. 

The Sanderson posse make their way inside by way of dragging one another in. Jasmine helps Gary and Graham out of the dirt while Madilyn ushers her sisters inside while all three laugh and laugh at Grant’s poor luck. 

Champ and Beau take Grant inside, arms wrapped around Grant’s waist, while Grant has his arms over their shoulders. Grant’s whining as they take him inside, talking about a ‘boo-boo’ on his shin. 

“We’ll get you fixed up soon, bud.” Beau smiles fondly as he pats Grant’s waist.

Grant is set down on the couch while the rest of the group head into the kitchen. They all take seats around the kitchen table, shouting over each other about nothing, only to hear one another talk. Beau meanders through the Sandersons, heading right for the drawer beside the fridge. Some of the Sandersons grow quiet, watching as Beau pulls out the first-aid kit that’s been in the house for as long as Gary can remember. By now, Beau and Champ know this house as well as each Sanderson since they’ve been around since they were teenagers.

Beau taps Gary fondly on the arm as he walks past to go tend to Grant, who’s still whining about the small scrape he has on his leg.

His siblings are all bickering in the kitchen over something that Gary lost track of and doesn’t care to follow. The atmosphere is warm, under the yellow kitchen light and the ceiling fan whirring lowly above their heads. It's comfortable, but Gary has the urge to find some silence. Even for a few seconds. So he sneaks away upstairs, pushing his bedroom door open, and plopping down on the edge of his bed. 

The first thing his eyes fall on is his phone… and, of course, the first thing he thinks about is Ghost. 

Gary’s grabbing the phone without another thought, finding the unknown number he hasn’t bothered to name. Sure, Gary usually chastises impulsiveness, like the kind that he's displaying right now. But he can't find himself to care. His inhibitions are lowered and he wants to hear from Ghost...

Only after he clicks ‘call’ does Gary start to wonder what time it is over there. 

Two rings go through before Ghost answers. 

_“Roach?”_

“Hi,” Gary’s already smiling as he falls back onto his bed, curling one arm under his head. 

_“Hi…”_ Ghost trails off, his tone confused. _“What are you still doing up, isn’t it three in the morning over there?”_

Gary’s face scrunches up in confusion, but he pulls his phone back to check. Ghost was… dead on. Even Gary hadn’t realized how late it was. He presses the phone back to his ear with a grumble. 

“Are you keepin’ tabs on me?” Gary slurs as he nestles back into his covers. He blinks blearily into the low light of his room, which is provided by the moon cresting over the orchard. 

_“You sound incredibly American right now.”_ Ghost replies, his voice still hesitant to show any emotion. He’s probably wondering what’s going on right now… but Gary doesn't want to tell him. He doesn't want Ghost to know that he drunk called him. At least Gary's not so far gone that he can't _pretend_ to be sober. Ghost won't know if Gary plays his cards right... 

“Don’t make fun of me,” Gary grumbles, feeling more tired as time passes. He closes his eyes and focuses on Ghost’s voice. 

_“I’m not. It’s adorable.”_

Gary snorts at that, trying to enunciate his words concisely. “You don’t find anything adorable.” 

_“Of course I do,”_ Ghost sounds distracted, putting only a mild interest in arguing Gary’s point. He must be busy... Gary thinks. Yet he's taking the time to talk to Gary. Gary feels bad about it, but the selfish desire to keep his lieutenant on the phone weighs out.

“Name one thing.” Gary challenges, rolling over to rest his head on his pillow. 

_“You.”_

Gary’s lips part as he takes in a small gasp - his stomach simultaneously doing flips at Ghost’s simple answer. The flirtatious response has Gary floating away for a second before he’s grounded with a flash of irrational irritation. He buries his face in his pillow and lets out an annoyed groan.

“You can’t say things like that.” Gary mumbles petulantly. 

_“Love, I can’t hear you.”_

Gary comes out from hiding to rest his cheek on his pillow. The fabric is cool against his flushed skin and causes a shiver to ripple down his spine. He blinks blearily at the phone, staving off a yawn. 

“You can’t say things like that,” Gary repeats, keeping a childish grumble in his tone. 

_“I can actually do whatever I want,”_ Ghost repeats calmly, using a matter-of-fact tone. Gary listens to him shuffle some papers on the other line. 

“You’re mean.” Gary whines out next. 

_“I know. What did you have to drink tonight?”_

Gary’s eyes start to drift closed again as he hums. He has to think about it… “Something blue… My siblings wanted me to try each of their favorite drinks. So… something blue. And then something I think had whiskey in it. And then a margarita. I hate margaritas. I forget what else... Oh!” Gary slaps a hand down to his face sloppily. "I wasn't supposed to tell you that." 

Ghost's laughter rumbles gently across the phone, a sound that causes warmth to pool in Gary's belly. He loves Ghost's laugh, especially when it's caused by him. So even though Gary has frustrated himself for forgetting to act sober, he easily forgives himself when he gets Ghost chuckling.

_"Sounds like a lot.”_

Gary frowns, complaining again. “It was. I don’t drink.” 

_“I know.”_

Gary grows silent, just listening to Ghost work in the background. He can hear Ghost’s fingers clack against his keyboard, and then move back to shuffle some papers around, only to return to the keyboard seconds later. 

Gary gets bored, so his mouth starts to work on its own. 

“Remember last time we spoke?” 

Ghost gets quiet on the other line. 

_“...Yes.”_

Gary smiles at Ghost’s hesitant tone. He’s egged on by it, so Gary continues to poke the hornet’s nest. 

“How far would you ‘a let me go?” 

There’s another pause before Ghost answers. 

_“As far as you wanted to,”_ Ghost replies and Gary’s drunk brain is already dissecting his words. Ghost’s a wise man, and chooses his words carefully. Someone as tipsy as Gary is can figure out that his reply is a deflection, putting it back on Gary. 

Gary tries to do the same - tries to choose his words carefully and calculatedly - but they just end up coming out blunt. 

“I wanted to do it for you,” Gary thinks that makes sense, “I like you.” 

There’s an intake of breath on Ghost’s end, and then his voice is gentle as he says, _“Roach-”_

_“Do you have Roach on the line?”_ MacTavish’s voice appears, and then the sound of a door closing. _“Isn’t it 0300 hours over there? What are you doing keeping the lad up?”_

Ghost must mime or mouth something since Gary doesn’t hear him verbally say anything, but he does hear Soap’s understanding, _“Ahhh.”_

“Tell-” Gary hiccups, “-Tell Soap I said hi.” 

Ghost passes along the correspondence, and Gary hears Soap laugh lightly. 

“Can he hear me?” Gary asks hesitantly, trying not to focus on the way that his head is spinning.

_“No.”_ Usually that would sound short and resolute to anyone else, but Gary knows Ghost. He knows Ghost is curious why Gary asked. 

Gary swallows as his eyes flutter shut. He feels dizzy… but he wants to ask Ghost _now_ so he’s not going to let him being drunk get in the way. He needs to know. 

“Am I imagining this thing between us?” Gary tries to enunciate his words, he tries to sound as clear as possible so that Ghost understands what he’s asking… He can only hope he gets his point across. 

_“No.”_ The answer comes quicker than Gary expected. 

...and fills him with unending hope that will end up suffocating him if he’s not too careful. Gary breathes, his heart just as consumed with relief as his body is. That relief diminishes when Gary has a sense of realism wash over him, unstoppable and impossible to ignore. A sense of realism that sobers him up quicker than a cold shower.

“Nothing… nothing will ever change though. Will it?” Gary speaks like he already knows the answer. 

_“Things are…”_ Ghost trails off. _“Things are safe where we are, Roach.”_

Gary takes a moment, allowing himself to process that. He knows what Ghost is saying, and Gary agrees, regardless of how much it hurts. He knew anything romantic between them wouldn’t be realistic… Gary shouldn’t have let himself lean so much on Ghost, but it’s hard when he cares so much about him. 

“You’re right,” Gary agrees, nodding to himself. “You’re right.” 

_“Roach, I’m-”_

“Stop,” Gary exhales, shaking his head. He closes his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing. It’s so hard to breathe when he has such a crushing weight bearing down on him. “Don’t say it. There’s nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn’t have-” 

_“You did nothing wrong, Roach.”_

There’s a pause until Gary realizes this has to end. 

“I care about you, Simon.” 

There’s a pause before Ghost’s sincere statement comes. _“I care about you too.”_

“I’m going to go to bed.” 

_“Goodnight, Roach.”_

Gary pulls the phone back from his ear, watching the call disconnect from the other end. Seven minutes and three seconds is all it took for Gary to feel like absolute shit. His finger trails against the edge of his phone for a moment longer, stewing in this odd mix of feelings he has towards the universe; angry because the path he chose means he and Ghost will never get to explore a chance of happiness and _normality_ … but also grateful for the path he chose because then he’d never have met Ghost. 

He supposes he understands what Ghost means now, even in his drunk state. _Things are safe where they are._ They can have each other… just not in the way others can. Ghost doesn’t want things to end with Gary. He just wants them to stay where they are. 

Gary should be happy about that, right? 

Gary lets out a loud exhale, tossing his phone to the other side of his bed. Well, there’s no point in feeling sorry for himself when his family is downstairs having a good time. 

Gary stretches his arms above his head, making a mental note to get some water when he’s downstairs… at this point he just wants to sober up, relax for the night, and then sleep for twelve hours… 

When Gary does make it downstairs, he receives a loud wave of cheers and polite claps. Gary gives his siblings all a weird look as he steps down from the last step, but then their cheers only get louder, so Gary bows and accepts the praise. 

When it dies down, Gary takes a seat at the kitchen table with the rest of his siblings. 

“So what was the applause for?” Gary asks as he takes one of the glasses of water that Champ has prepoured for everyone. 

“You made it through a Sanderson Saturday!” Graham happily announces, clapping a proud hand down on Gary’s knee and squeezing. 

“We all bet that you’d be passed out two hours ago but we were wrong! Yay!” Emma cheers, doing a little happy dance in her seat. This sets off another round of applause for Gary so Gary just snorts and starts clapping along with them. 

“Will you guys all quiet down?” Beau mockingly scolds as he comes back into the kitchen with the first-aid kit. “I finally got Grant to lay down and go to sleep.” 

“Boo!” Becca and Madilyn both say in unison. 

“First one out!” Emma announces, pointing at Graham. “Put that in your phone so we remember to give him shit tomorrow.” 

Gary laughs at that, his head falling back and a hand falling to his stomach. “You guys are so mean.” 

“Yeah, right! I bet you’re an asshole when you’re Sergeant Sanderson. Isn’t that what military guys do? Give each other a bunch of shit?” Graham has a beer in hand, and while Gary thinks it’s probably time to start cutting back, Graham is a pretty calm drunk. So it shouldn’t hurt.

“Some do.” Gary agrees with a chuckle. “But not me.”

“Yeah, no way that Gary’s mean,” Madilyn shakes her head, positively sure in her statement. “Gary doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. Maybe a stern bone, but not a mean one.” 

“I let my captain and lieutenant be the hardasses.” Gary grins fondly at the thought of Soap and Ghost.

“You’re the little soft sergeant. Soft Sergeant Sanderson, reporting for duty.” Becca says seriously, but then she cracks and snorts loudly before she dissolves into laughter. 

Gary shakes his head before he lets out a teasingly loud groan. 

“You guys are the worst!” Gary declares as he scrubs his two hands down his face tiredly.

“But we’re your siblings,” Madilyn singsongs, doing a funny dance in her seat that involves a lot of shoulder wiggles. “And that means you _have_ to love us~.” Madilyn stretches out her words in a way that probably sounds like a song to her. 

Gary sighs dramatically, straightening back up. “I guess you’re right…” he trails off, sounding sad about the fact Madilyn brings forward. 

“Hey!” Emma accuses through her laughter. “Gary _is_ mean. You were all wrong.” 

“I’m not!” Gary defends himself through his tipsy laughter, pushing away the finger Emma is pointing at him accusingly. 

“What is this? A Sanderson Shout fest? Tone down the volume. What would your mom say? Jeez.” Champ warns as he comes forward to play with Becca’s hair. 

Champ gets some shit for his comment, lovingly of course, from Gary’s siblings, but Gary abides by his request. He sits back in his chair, with heavy eyes and a sated smile as he listens to his siblings bicker back and forth with each other. 

He’s happy here… and he knows he’s going to miss them all like hell when he goes back to the 141. 

Gary always thought that staying away from his family was more for their good then his, but now he knows it was for all of their sake.

Goodbyes are never easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Sorry to come back with a short chapter and angst! I wanted to post this so I could also add an author's note. I'm still filling in a lot of gaps and I've added more chapters as I go along to make sure everything flows nicely! Thank you all for your patience with me. Updates still won't be as quick as they were before, but I think I'm making some headway! Thanks for reading!!
> 
> Also, thank you SO MUCH for the kind comments. I cannot begin to explain how much they mean to me! I'll cherish them always!


	12. Sanderson Siblings - Character Evaluation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry this is not a chapter but rather a character evaluation or a build off of some characters in the story. I hope you guys like these little tidbits! The next chapter ended up getting so long that I'm splitting it up into two... small spoiler for what's to come: smut! Thanks again for reading guys!

The Sanderson Siblings 

1\. Graham Sanderson - 30 years old - Height: 6’

-Graham is the oldest out of the Sanderson squad. He and Grant are twins, so ever since they were born they’ve always been a troublesome duo. Graham’s a relaxed kind of guy who’s known for going with the flow. He’s always the one to suggest sitting down and taking a deep breath when things get stressful. Graham is the calming force in the Sandersons that reminds them life is young and they should have fun while they can. Graham is the classic older brother figure who is incredibly loyal to his family and will always watch out for his younger siblings. 

-He has shaggy honey blonde hair because he’s growing his hair out. He has the waviest hair out of his siblings, so often he’ll have locks of hair sticking up wildly if he doesn’t put a hat on to control it. He’s broad shouldered, with thick biceps and a thick neck. He’s built like a wrestler, since he used to be one in high school. His eyes are blue, he’s always tan from working out in the sun, and he always has a clean shaven face. 

2\. Grant Sanderson - 30 years old- Height: 6’ 

-Grant is a minute younger than Graham so he’s a bit bitter about being the second eldest. Only because Graham will always hold it over his head, as twins do. Grant’s always the guy who suggests doing something fun and adventurous to help lighten someone's mood. That’s why he and Graham go so well together. Graham calms everyone down before Grant suggests something like ‘let’s go ziplining!’ or ‘there’s a paintball place in town, let’s go!’ Grant is the energizer of the Sandersons. He’s always smiling, always laughing, and always getting a rise out of his sibilngs while he can. He’s a sweetheart, who is a little sad behind the curtain. 

-Grant’s hair is just as golden as Graham’s, but he usually keeps it buzzed on the sides and a little longer on top. His hair never gets longer than two inches before he’s going to his barber for a haircut. His hair style can be described as “hat hair.” He’s not as thick as Graham is. He’s more lean, with ‘movie’ muscles Graham often says, while Grant just teases Graham for being ‘soft.’ Grant and Graham are not identical twins. Grant’s eyes are green-hazel, and his face is more angular like their mothers where Graham’s is round like their father’s.

3\. Emma Sanderson -29 years old - Height: 5’4.5”

-Emma takes after their mother. She always played the roll of ‘mom’ when they played house as children. She’s the only one out of the Sandersons to have any children. She has two sons named Garrison (9 years old) and Michael (5 years old). She’s always wanted nothing but a family life; pretty house, loving family, and to stay in their gorgeous small town. She thrives in their close knit town; she does bake sales all the time, she’s involved at the schools and their clubs, she volunteers all the time, but sometimes ends up overworking herself. So she can be snippy and is usually the angriest out of the Sandersons. 

-Emma has light blonde hair which she always gets highlighted since she says she hates her ‘dirty blonde’ hair. She makes it a special trip every month to go to the hair salon and talk to the older ladies in town. Emma is loved by everyone in town and she’s also known for speaking up if she feels wronged. She’s the shortest out of her siblings and did track in high school, so she’s short and thin, with a few freckles on her face. She’s got the bluest eyes out of her siblings, they’re light and icey blue. 

4\. Becca Sanderson - 28 years old - Height: 5’8” 

-Becca was always viewed as the cool older sister by Gary and Madilyn. She was your classic middle child. She was a good kid, but one of the most rebellious in the Sandersons. She was the punk kid; with the dark clothes, rock music, and secret cigarettes when she was a teenager. She’s adventurous, much like Grant, but in the sense that she wants to see the world - she’s not so interested in doing heart-racing things like Grant is. She wants to _travel_ and explore and experience things. Gary thinks that might be where he got his love of travelling from. 

-She has dark auburn hair that she keeps cut short around her shoulders. She’s different from Emma in the sense that Becca doesn’t wear a lot of makeup, when she says she ‘styled’ her hair she means she brushed it, and Becca wears clothes from ten years ago. She really doesn’t care much about what people think about her and she spends time minding her own business, biking around town and finding back trails to hike on. Becca is curvier than Emma; the two are always talking about how Emma wishes she had Becca’s hips but Becca wishes she had Emma’s legs, as sisters do. 

5\. Gary Sanderson - 27 years old - Height 5’9.75”

-Gary was always the observer growing up. He watched, he listened, he learned. It’s probably why he’s a great soldier. Gary is known as Gentle Gary or Garbear because of his tender and caring nature. He was often the one who looked out for his siblings and could be called the protector of the Sandersons. His loyal nature could also be attributed to his siblings, since Gary has made it known through school that he’d throw down for them whenever necessary. It wasn’t until Gary was a senior in high school that he started to seriously consider joining the military. His family didn’t even try to hide how shocked they were when Gary told them he was enlisting. They couldn’t see their _Garbear_ doing something so aggressive. Gary was _Gary._ Soft spoken, loyal, thoughtful Gary.

-Gary is blonde too, but his hair is darker than Graham’s and Grant’s golden locks. He could be called a dirty blonde, or warm brunette. His hair is lighter at the ends, darker towards the roots, and it hasn’t been cut since his vacation started so it’s unruly. It curls at his temples and sticks to his forehead on hot days. He’s tan after working on his parents’ apple orchard for the last few months. One of his most popular features is his crooked smile. The right side of his mouth always pulls up before the left. He stays mostly clean shaven, although sometimes he’ll grow some scruff out. He’s lean, with sharp cuts of muscle, but he hides it well under loose t-shirts. Just like the scars he hides from his family. 

  
  


6\. Madilyn Sanderson - 25 years old - Height: 5’6”

-Madilyn holds the Sanderson Spark. She’s the firecracker in the family, not afraid to speak her mind or tell someone when they’re in the wrong. She’s open and friendly, with little to no filter. On some people, this could be annoying, but with Madilyn it’s endearing. She’s a true and genuine person, with an optimistic view to life. She’s the first one to offer five different solutions when a problem needs solved. She’s a bit of a mastermind in that aspect; she can get anyone out of a pickle. Gary has often compared her to a con-artist. Quick-wit, great at reading the room, and unafraid. 

-Madilyn has auburn hair much like Becca. She’s similar to her older sister in the way that Madilyn never bothers styling her hair or doing much with it. She often cuts it herself before she ties it up in a ponytail and continues on her day. She’s got freckles on her cheeks and shoulders from constant days in the sun. She’d never admit it but Madilyn is a worrier. She sits awake at night, worried about her parents, worried about her siblings, worried about the state of the world… Madilyn hides it well when the sun comes up and she continues on about her day, pushing those worries to the back of her mind by working as hard as she can on the orchard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if this is something you guys would like to see again! I thought I could possibly do it for more characters. Like Jasmine, Gary's parents, and more OC's that will be introduced. I might even add Ghost and Soap in, since I've adjusted their ages, and I'd like to describe Ghost's appearance! 
> 
> Sorry again that this isn't a chapter! That should be coming soon. Thank you guys for your patience and thanks for reading!


	13. Fuck Fuck Boys

It’s been a week since Gary drunk called Ghost, and each waking minute has crawled by since. Gary’s felt like he has a pair of eyes on him at all times, waiting for him to do something embarrassing again. Like confess his feelings for his lieutenant… to his lieutenant. 

Well, Gary never promised to be perfect. 

When Saturday finally came, Gary was relieved to hear that Madilyn was going to include him in her plans. 

A weekend with Jasmine’s brother. A full three hour drive away. 

And Gary _groaned_ in relief. Some time away… even just three hours away is what he needs. He packed his bag in record time before he followed Madilyn down to her car and happily hopped into the passenger seat. 

“We’re picking up Grant and then Jasmine on the way!” Madilyn beams happily, wiggling her body happily as she buckles in. 

“No way!” Gary says in surprise, watching Madilyn put the car in drive. “Grants coming? That’ll be fun.” 

“Yes! I’m so excited.” Madilyn turns the music up as they crawl down the driveway. “Graham works all weekend and Grant was whining about being bored so I told him to come with. 

Gary can’t control the smile that winds onto his face, feeling genuine excitement to hang out with his siblings. He wants to have _fun_ after a week full of dread. 

Madilyn pulls out onto the road before she turns her knowing gaze on her brother. 

“So what’s been up with you? You’ve been off ever since Sanderson Saturday. Was it too much?” 

“What?!” Gary exclaims, showing his displeasure with her question. “Of course not! I had a ton of fun. And it’s always a great time to watch Grant fall into a bush when I don’t have to be the one to get him out.” 

Madilyn cackles at the memory, falling back against her chair. “Honestly, that’s one of the truest statements I’ve ever heard.” 

Gary smirks, relaxing back into his seat. He leans one arm onto the window ledge, watching as the landscape starts to pass by. Madilyn doesn’t push any further, and instead they listen to the music playing on the radio. Two songs pass before a weather announcement comes on, declaring thunderstorms tonight and tomorrow.” 

Gary chews on his lip, trying to fight off the urge to just burst out a spew of _feelings_. Instead, he takes a deep breath and approaches it cautiously.

“Let’s say… you kind of told someone you had feelings for them. And then they said they had feelings for you too… but that they liked how things were. What would that mean?” Gary glimpses at Madilyn out of the corner of his eyes, relieved to see that she still has her eyes on the road. 

Madilyn’s mouth scrunches up to the side as she thinks about that. 

“It sounds like they want to keep things casual. Which isn’t _bad_ … as long as both parties are okay with keeping it casual.” Madilyn answers, glimpsing at Gary and then back to the road. There’s nothing intrusive in her gaze… just curious. 

Gary hums as he processes that. 

“Okay,” Gary nods… starting to wonder if _he’s_ okay with something casual. All he knows right now is that he wants Ghost… but he also knows that he can’t have Ghost in the way that he wants. 

“But casual means hookups? Right?” Gary has innocent curiosity written in the crease of his brow. “What if one person wants something… _more?_ ” 

Madilyn chews on the inside of her cheek as she contemplates that. Finally she gives a small shrug and turns to share a smile with Gary. 

“Casual sometimes means sex, no strings attached. Other times it’s what people say when they want to keep someone in their life but are too afraid of commitment. Which sometimes makes them a douchebag who’s afraid of being tied down… or can also just make them someone who’s afraid to lose you.” 

Oh. Gary guesses he can understand that. Unknown territory is terrifying, and he and Ghost just found a spot that means they can still be the same Ghost and Roach they were before… with some flirting added. Gary can see the appeal. He just _wants_ more. Is that selfish of him? 

“If they care about you, they’ll tell you.” Madilyn adds on, nodding to herself. 

Gary stares at the hands in his lap, shrugging gently as he says, “He did.” 

Gary messed up. He knows that the second he sees Madilyn’s head snap in his direction. 

“Who did?” 

Gary’s lips part but his voice is stuck in his throat as he tries to come up with a reply.

“I mean in this hypothetical scenario,” Gary blurts out. 

Madlyn doesn’t look convinced in the _slightest_ but her shoulders fall and she grows more relaxed. 

“Do these people in this hypothetical situation have names? Maybe like… Barry and Diamond?” 

Gary’s face flushes deep crimson, squeezing his eyes tight to try and stave off the embarrassment. 

“Maybe,” Gary replies, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“Aw, Gary,” Madilyn breathes, taking one hand off the wheel to place on her brother’s knee. She gives him a squeeze, so Gary lays his hand over hers and squeezes back. “I am your sister, Gary. You can literally tell me _anything_. I wish you’d tell me more…” 

“Okay,” Gary exhales, patting her hand. “You see right through me anyway.” 

“ _Exactly_ ,” Madilyn agrees dramatically, getting Gary to loosen up with a laugh. 

_“Yes,”_ Gary groans, letting his head fall back against the headrest. “I drunk called Simon after we got home and I asked him if I was just imagining these feelings and he said no. But when I asked if things would ever change he said that things were safe where they were. I know he cares about me… but I just don’t know if he cares about me in the way that I wish he did.” 

“Honey,” Madilyn sighs as if she feels his pain. His sister’s always been empathetic, just like him. “Your situation is completely different than most people’s though… You guys have one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. If I were in Simon’s shoes, and you were Jasmine, I might have reacted the same way. Knowing that I could lose her so easily… it would break me. It sounds like he’s just protecting you both.” 

“He’s stupid,” Gary grumbles, running the tips of his fingers over Madilyn’s nail polish. 

“Most people are when they’re in love.” Madilyn sighs whimsically. 

Gary smirks, lifting his gaze to Madilyn’s. 

“What?!” Madilyn replies innocently, taking her hand back to place it on the wheel. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Simon’s not in _love_ with me,” Gary’s voice is tender as he ducks his gaze to his hands again. 

“ _Right,_ ” Madilyn scoffs, not convinced with Gary’s statement. “The man who calls you every few days to talk. And I’m not blind, Gary, I _know_ that more than half of your calls are not work related. I’m sure you sit back and flirt the whole time while he calls you pet names like _love_ and _princess_ . Besides, if he smiles anything like the way you smile when you’re talking to him… that boy’s in _love._ ” 

“First off, I’m sure Simon wouldn’t appreciate you calling him a boy. Secondly, you’re insinuating that I’m in love with Simon-” 

“Oh, like you _aren’t_ .” Madilyn interrupts with a teasing scoff. “My brother’s in _love~._ ” 

“Yeah, with someone who doesn’t want more than casual,” Gary reminds her, quickly draining Madilyn’s playful battery. 

“Well, then we’ll do what everyone does when that happens! We call Simon a fuck boy and move forward! You’re going to get dressed so sexy tonight that he’s going to _wish_ he never said that.” Madilyn turns her wrist at an awkward angle so that she can push her finger into Gary’s chest with each word, making Gary cackle as he tries to push her hand away. 

“He’s not going to see me dressed sexy,” Gary returns, trying to defuse Madilyn’s logic just for his own amusement. 

“Doesn’t matter!” She shouts, throwing her hands up into the air and off the wheel. “He’s going to feel it in his bones! He’s going to go, _“Damn, I bet Gary’s looking hot right now… maybe I should consider a monogamous homsexual realtionship with him.””_

Gary bursts into laughter, head tipped back against the headrest and his knees pulling up to his chest. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Gary tells her fondly, exhaling a tense breath from his lungs. As always, Madilyn makes him feel better. 

“-Ly funny!” Madilyn corrects, grabbing back onto the wheel while somehow simultaneously giving Gary finger guns. 

Gary sighs, still feeling the scratching sense of irritation under his skin. He straightens up, glimpsing at Madilyn before he finally clarifies. 

“I should say that Simon’s not a… fuck boy. Or whatever you said.” Gary laughs airily, shaking his head at his sister’s silliness. “He’s one of the best men that I know… I just wanted to make sure you know that I don’t actually hate him for not wanting something more.” 

“Of course not, Gar.” Madilyn smiles, patting Gary’s leg once more. “But does it not feel _extremely_ satisfying to call someone a fuck boy?” 

Gary can’t help but snort at the devilish glint in Madilyn’s eye. 

“Yeah,” he admits. “Yeah, it does.” 

“Speaking of fuck boys,” Madilyn trails off as she pulls up to the side of the road, right outside of the house Grant and Graham rent. She puts the car in park, rolls down her window, and cups her hands around her mouth, before he shouts out to Grant who is walking across the lawn to her car. “Hey, fuck boy!” 

“Ay!” Grant replies, putting a hand around his own mouth. 

He opens up the backseat, putting his backpack filled with one night’s worth of clothes between his legs. He buckles in, then looks up to Madilyn and Gary who are staring at him between their seats. 

“Wait, why am I a fuck boy?” Grant inquires, placing his broad hands on his thighs. 

“I just taught Gary the term. We should give him a lesson on modern day slang.” Madilyn suggests as she puts the car in drive and pulls back onto the road. 

“That’s a _fantastic_ idea.” Grant gasps excitedly at the prospect. 

Madilyn glimpses at Gary, relieved to see her brother smiling. 

“Here’s one: Thicc. Okay, class. Let’s say it together. _Thicc_.” Grant circles his arms in the air as he tries to get Madilyn and Gary to play along. Which they do. Of course they do. 

They continue listening to Grant’s teachings, with Madilyn butting in every now and then until they finally reach Jasmine’s apartment. The class is interrupted for a moment while Gary tries to get out of the passenger seat to open it up for Jas, only for her to push him back into the chair and order him to stay. 

Jasmine takes the back seat with Grant, only leaning forward into the valley of chairs to get a kiss from Madilyn. 

“What are we talking about, ladies?” Jasmine questions, smirking when Grant excitedly explains his class. 

“We’re teaching Gary slang since he’s a recluse.” Grant explains, reaching over to pount his knuckles against Jasmine’s when she holds her hand out in greeting. 

“Oh, shit,” Jasmine smirks. “What about thirsty? Did you teach him that yet?” 

Grant’s eyes widen impossibly large with excitement. “We _haven’t.”_

“Perfect,” Jasmine’s smirk turns devilish as she reaches forward to squeeze Gary’s shoulders. 

They start their three hour journey with Madilyn pulling onto the highway, yelling at the only car on the road to get over. Once that car kindly allows them onto the highway, they all cheer and Madilyn turns up the music with an equally loud cheer. 

The day grows hot, so they roll down their windows and allow the wind to tousle their hair and cool their skin. They pass a few cars on the way, and of course Grant gets them to cheer as they pass them. Grant’s always the people person… 

Madilyn takes the city exit, taking them through the busy streets while Jasmine shows off her knowledge of the city. She provides historical facts as they drive through, and Gary’s _impressed_ with her knowledge. 

A few streets later, with colorful graffiti and lanterns hanging over them, and Jasmine just sighs contentedly. 

“Welcome to the Gay Village,” Jasmine beams, squeezing between the front seats to stare at the passing city. 

“Holy shit…” Grant trails off, sounding amazed. “I feel like I’m Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz right now.” 

“Grant gets it,” Jasmine smirks, leaning over to put her head on Madilyn’s shoulder. 

It’s only another ten minutes before they pull up outside of a quaint three story building. It appears as though it might have been an old fire house at one point before being converted into an apartment complex. 

“I told Jamie all about you guys,” Jasmine explains as Madilyn parks the car and they start to gather their things. “He met Madilyn before we started dating so he already knows Mads, but he’s so excited to meet more of the family!”

“Oh, God,” Grant grimaces as they all start heading up to the apartment complex. “We’re, like, so lame though.” 

“He’s not wrong,” Gary agrees as they push their way inside and start to head upstairs. 

“You definitely are not lame,” Jasmine disagrees with a potent look of disbelief on her face. She leads them to the upstairs apartment at the front of the hall. “Jamie’s going to love you, but he also might try to give you a makeover. He’s a drag queen so… yeah.” 

Before Jasmine even gets a chance to knock, the door flies open. 

“Jas!” A man with dark skin and kinky hair jumps forward, wrapping Jasmine into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you so much!” 

“Jamie!” Jasmine shouts back, hugging her brother just as tightly. “Were you waiting by your door for us?” 

“Of course I was!” Jamie exclaims, pulling back to hold Jasmine’s wrists. “I was so worried about you guys and that long drive. Plus I’ve been _so_ bored. This weekend is going to charge my social battery for the next few months.” 

Jamie’s eyes glimpse over Jasmine’s shoulders, his mouth opening widely as he gasps dramatically. “Maddie! Look at you! My gosh, your hair is so long!” 

Madilyn accepts Jamie’s enthusiastic hug just as excitedly. When they part, Jamie glimpses over at Gary and Grant before understanding crosses his features. 

“Wait! Are these your brothers?!” Jamie bottled sunshine when he points at Grant and Graham. 

“That’s two out of the three!” Madilyn replies. 

“Hi~!” Jamie extends his hand, shaking both Gary’s and Grant’s hands politely. “I hope they prepared you for me. I’m a bit much.” 

“I think you’re great!” Grant blurts out with a dopey smile on his face.

His outburst causes the group to fall to stunned silence before Jamie bats playfully at Grant’s chest. 

“Stop. You’re going to make me blush.” Jamie turns around, but Grant’s left staring at Jamie like he’s the most interesting thing he’s seen all day. Grant looks smitten…

“Come in, come in!” Jamie ushers them all inside, closing the door as they filter in. “We need to start getting ready for our night of fun!” 

“Yes!” Madilyn bounces happily on her toes, grabbing onto the lapels of her backpack. “Also, Gary needs a girl’s night. He’s talking to a stupid person.” 

Gary opens his mouth to interject, but Jamie grips onto his hand. 

“Honey! Your drinks are on me all night! We’ll get you a _gorgeous_ revenge outfit and make you feel so handsome!” Jamie squeezes his hand reassuringly. 

Gary sneaks in a glare towards Madilyn when Jamie’s not looking, but she only gives him two thumbs up in response. 

“I’m going to go pick out Gary’s outfit!” Jamie prances away, only to turn around and give Gary a pleading look. “Wait, honey, is that okay? I’ve got a great idea and I’d be _so_ honored if you let me dress you.” 

Gary’s not _loving_ that idea, but then again, how bad could it be? He’ll put some of his trust in Jamie… besides, Gary could explore a little more when it comes to fashion. His wardrobe usually consists of jeans and a t-shirt. Gary wants to have an experience; something different and exciting. Gary wants to do something he hasn't done before.

“Sure,” Gary shrugs, giving Jamie a friendly wink. “Surprise me.” 

“Ugh,” Jamie shakes his head, placing a hand to his chest. “You’ve just made me such a happy boy. Okay, be right back!” 

“I need Jamie to dress me too. I want to feel sexy!” Grant exclaims, bordering on the side of cute but childish. Somehow Grant manages to make it endearing.

“I’ll do you next! I already have ideas!” Jamie calls from down the hall. 

It takes Jamie a little over five minutes before he comes out of his room with an outfit folded neatly in one hand and boots in the other. He shimmies the closer he gets to the patient group, offering the clothes to Gary first. 

“Now these pants are _incredibly_ tight so I did include a pair of tight, freshly washed underwear in there too. You won't be able to squeeze in these while wearing a pair of boxers.” Jamie rests the outfit in Gary’s open hands. 

“He’s talking about a thong, FYI.” Madilyn snickers from where she and Jasmine stand off to the side, playing with one another’s hands. 

“Perfect,” Gary’s reply is just dry enough that Jamie laughs heartily. 

“It’ll be fine, dear. There’s a spare bedroom at the end of the hall when you’re ready to change.” Jamie hands the shoes off next before he turns to Grant. He eyes him up and down, then snaps his fingers as his ideas solidify into action. “Perfect. Come with me, Grant!” 

Gary watches Jamie excitedly take Grant’s hand, pulling the tall man down the hall and to his bedroom. He’s suddenly frozen to the spot as everything moves on around him, filling Gary with this odd sense of realism. As if he’s not really there… but just watching what his siblings do when he’s off with the 141. 

Gary’s brought out of his introspection when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. Gary moves the boots to his other hand before he pulls his phone out from his pocket. Gary unlocks the screen, but already knows who the text is from before reading it.

_Unknown Number [6:12PM]_

_You busy?_

Gary chews on his lip, reading the message over and over again. Does he want to text Ghost right now? Ghost is probably calling for work, not to talk… Definitely not to talk about last weekend. Even Gary wants to shove that under the rug and forget about it. But Ghost is still Gary’s superior, so he’ll answer. 

_[6:13PM]_

_Kind of._

_Unknown Number [6:13PM]_

_Soap wants to video call._

_[6:14PM]_

_Can’t._

Gary knows that he’s keeping his answers short, and he’s not being the easiest to work with right now… Sure, it might be childish, but it makes Gary feel better. Ghost can work for Gary’s attention if he wants him to call. 

_Unknown Number [6:15PM]_

_Phone call then. Won’t be longer than fifteen minutes._

Gary sighs, wishing he could just turn his phone off. Besides, this night is supposed to help him _forget_ his feelings for Ghost. That’s next to impossible when Ghost is texting him every few minutes. 

Gary tucks the clothes under one arm, turning towards Madilyn. 

“I’ve got to call work. It’ll be quick.” Gary moves to set the clothes down, but Madilyn tucks them right back under his arm. 

“Call them while you get dressed! We’re leaving soon! Make it quick.” Madilyn pats Gary’s cheek consolingly before she looks left and right cautiously. Madilyn leans in closer now that she knows they’re alone, save for Jasmine who's a few feet away on the sofa. “Don’t get lost in Simon’s alluring voice, okay?” 

Gary flushes red but rolls his eyes at Madilyn’s advice. 

“How weak do you think I am?” Gary scoffs, gaining a smirk from his sister. 

“Go,” Madilyn pats his cheek hard enough that it could be considered a slap. “Those pants are going to take you a while to get into.” 

“Wish me luck,” Gary winks before he spins on his heel and hurries down the hall to the guest room. 

The door clicks shut, and for the first time in hours Gary’s met with _silence._ He absorbs that while he stands in Jamie’s spare bedroom, a bedroom with a queen bed adorned in black and gray sheets. Gary moves into action, throwing his clothes down on top of the comforter before he pulls up Ghost’s unnamed contact. He puts the phone on speaker and then tosses it down onto the covers. 

Gary pulls off his shirt, tossing that to the ground while the phone goes through its first ring. By the second ring, Gary has the button to his jeans undone before he remembers that he has to take his shoes off first. Those get kicked off by the third ring, right when Ghost picks up. 

_“Roach.”_ Ghost sounds… happy. But then Gary scoffs at the thought and shoves that away as he pushes his pants down to his ankles. 

“Make it quick, Ghost.” Gary stumbles out of his jeans, luckily landing on the bouncy mattress. _“Oof,_ ” Gary huffs out when he lands belly down on the mattress. 

_“Nice to hear from you too, love.”_ His lieutenant deadpans, but the disappointment can’t be hidden from his tone. 

“What do you want me to say?” Gary snips to hide his guilt. He hadn’t meant to make Ghost sound so defeated… Gary’s the one who’s hurt here. Not Ghost. “I’ve missed you so much, Ghost, you have no idea. I’ve been waiting by the phone for you all week.” 

The sarcasm is obvious and hurtful, but Gary can’t bite it back. 

He pushes off the bed, picking up the pair of underwear that Jamie gave him. To put it plainly, Gary’s been given a pair of panties. Black and sheer. He _almost_ assumes that they must be playing a joke on him, but then again, Jamie's right, a thong does seem a hell of a lot more comfortable than wearing boxers in a pair of skin tight pants. 

Gary suffers through the silence, glimpsing at the phone while he carefully steps into the first leg. The silence he’s met with is disappointing… almost as painful as Gary’s sarcasm. He wanted Ghost to fight back. Maybe that’d show that Ghost actually _does_ care about him. But that was too much to hope for. Ghost doesn’t even care enough to argue. 

_“Soap, ay! Roach is on the line.”_

Gary sighs in annoyance. Now he’s being ignored. He’s really jumping down the ranks here…

Gary grabs the pants a little too aggressively, but starts small by putting his legs in both holes. Gary pulls the fabric up, only for it to get stuck around his thighs. _Fuck,_ this is going to take some work. 

“Fuck it…” Gary grumbles under his breath. He turns around before he falls to the bed, right onto his backside. Gary’s _determined_ to get these pants on. He will not let the pants win… 

_“I’ll be right there!”_ Soap claims, making Gary roll his eyes. They’re clearly not heeding Gary’s request of _making it quick_.

He raises his legs into the air, bouncing on the mattress as he inches the pants up his thighs slowly with each bounce. It wears him out quickly though, leaving him a boneless mess against the mattress, with the pants just under his ass. 

_“He’s coming over, Gary.”_

“Yeah, whatever,” Gary dismisses as he takes in a deep breath and plants his heels into the mattress. He lifts his ass off of the bed and _pulls_ with all his might. _Somehow_ , by magic, surely, Gary gets the material over his ass and up to his waist, but the process was far from easy. He can’t imagine what it’s going to be like taking these off. They’re going to have to cut Gary out…

“ _Thank_ you,” Gary groans throatily to the empty room, going limp against the mattress. He feels like he used every muscle in his body to squeeze into these. And he doesn’t even have the zipper up yet. 

_“What are you thanking me for, love?”_

“What makes you think I’m thanking you?” Gary doesn’t even try to hide how breathless he is as he lets his eyes flutter shut. 

_“You just said thank you,”_ Ghost sounds confused with Gary’s argumentative tone, which gives Gary an odd sense of pleasure. He’s glad he’s throwing Ghost off, even if he’s not sure what he’s doing himself. 

“Yeah?” Gary exhales, blowing a piece of hair off of his forehead. 

_“Mate, you better hurry up. He’s losing it,”_ Ghost calls after Soap. 

_“I’m here, I’m here.”_ Soap sounds reassuring as he gets closer to the phone. _“Put him on speaker.”_

_“Alright…”_ Ghost trails off.

While they work on that, Gary’s going to finish getting dressed. He doesn’t want to have everyone waiting on him, after all. 

_“Okay, you’re on speaker, Roach,”_ Ghost says at the same time Gary lets out a grunt.

“For fuck’s sake,” Gary curses as sits up. He takes in a deep breath and sucks in his stomach as much as he can. He tries to get the zipper up on his latex pants but he just _can’t_. Every part of his body wants to burst out of these pants. 

_“You alright there, bug?”_ Soap sounds genuinely concerned on the other end of the line. 

“Just one-” Gary doesn’t finish his sentence as he falls back onto the bed. The covers are cool against his heated skin, relieving enough that Gary sighs outwardly. 

“Okay,” Gary takes in another deep breath, then pulls the zipper up. It fights him along the way; the zipper isn’t smooth, and gets stuck on a few teeth, and the pants are too tight so he has to squeeze the two sides together. 

Gary’s not even thinking about the moans and groans that are coming out of him as he works the zipper up higher and higher. He’s so _close_ that Gary even starts giving the zipper praise. “Come on, come _on,”_ Gary pants. Gary throws his head back against the covers and arches his back while he tries with all his might to get the zipper up. 

And then he gets it.

Gary gasps in genuine surprise, loud and amazed. He looks down at the zipper and _beams._

“ _Fuck_ ,” Gary whines breathily, realizing how exhausted he got from that task. Actually managing to get the pants on fills him a huge sense of achievement

_“Mate, while these noises are pretty and all that, what the hell is going on?”_ Soap inquires, sounding amused but puzzled. 

“I’m getting dressed,” Gary explains, sitting up on the edge of the bed. The pants are tight and constricting in all the wrong places, and it feels like Gary has a constant wedgie. The underwear he had to borrow from Jamie _isn’t_ helping. Part of him thinks he’d be better off if he’d gone commando, then again the chaffing is probably a nightmare. “I’m going out with my sister, her girlfriend, _her_ brother, and my brother.”

_“Sounds like a party,”_ Soap sounds impressed, so Gary shrugs in agreement.

“Sure sounds like something.” Gary jokes as he slides the billowy white top on. “So what’s up? You’ll have to make it quick.” 

_“Ghost and I just wanted to check in with you. It’s Saturday night, we’re bored, and missing our sergeant.”_ Soap takes on a mockingly petulant tone.

Gary scoffs. “It’s Saturday night for _me._ I believe it’s Sunday morning for you two. Which means you’re _not_ calling to check in. You have a briefing for me.”

_“Ay, you know me too well, bug.”_ Soap purrs.

Gary leaves the first two buttons undone on his top, then turns to look down at his outfit. It’s… something that Gary never would have picked out for himself, that’s for sure. 

_“So, darling,”_ Soap purrs, exaggerating his voice to try and sound sexy, _“What are you wearing?”_

Gary snorts, shaking his head as he turns around and inspects his backside. Even Gary can’t believe that’s him in the mirror… 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you…” Gary breathes, straightening up and trying to pull his pants up a little higher so he’s not in danger of flashing his butt crack.

_“Try me, mate. Leather or lace? My bet is on lace. Ghost, what’s yours?”_

Gary rolls his eyes at Soap’s teasing. “I’ll call you tomorrow morning. Nighttime for you. A little role reversal. How does that sound?” Gary bends to pick up the ankle-high boots that were left with him. The boots have heels. Heels that are thick, and longer than Gary would prefer. 

_“Sounds dirty,”_ Soap retorts. 

“Good. Just how you like it,” Gary slips one boot on and then the other. He stands experimentally, feeling… pretty steady. Gary’s impressed, so he sits back down to zip the boots up. 

_“You two are so annoying.”_ Ghost grumbles, speaking up for the first time since Gary was put on speaker. 

“Oh,” Gary pouts at the phone mockingly. “Is someone gwumpy?” 

Soap bursts into laughter immediately while Ghost lets out a hissing sigh. 

Gary smiles smugly, pleased that he got under Ghost’s skin so easily. 

They don’t have a chance to rib each other further since a knock comes at Gary’s door. 

“Gary!” Madilyn sounds excited. “Jamie has a skirt! You should wear the skirt. It’ll be way easier to get into-” 

“I already got the pants on,” Gary answers, gliding his fingers down the material to straighten it out. It’s a natural instinct, but unneeded since the pants cling tightly to his skin. 

“What?! No way. I’m coming in.” Madilyn twists the knob and comes in seconds later. Her eyes rake down Gary’s form, and then pure amazement twists into her smile. “Gary! Oh my God!-”

“Madilyn, _shh_.” Gary quiets her, but Madilyn just keeps going.

“-Look at those hips! Oh my _God._ I’m so jealous of your shape. It’s like these latex pants were made for you.” 

“Yeah, right.” Gary grimaces, lowering his voice to a whisper. “These pants are tighter than skin. And Jamie’s _special_ underwear is up my ass right now. And be quiet, my _goodness_.” 

Madilyn snorts, pressing her hand to her nose. “Well, you’re wearing a thong, Gary. That’s pretty normal for a thong.” 

“Shh!” Gary shushes her, finally having enough of her ignoring his request to lower her voice. “Keep your voice down.” 

“What, why?” Madilyn whisper-shouts 

“Just-” Gary closes his eyes, taking in a calming breath. “Never mind. I’m not wearing the skirt. Go get dressed already. I don’t want to spend an extra minute in these pants if I don’t have to.” 

“Okay, okay!” Madilyn prances over to the door. “Did you call work yet? Hurry up! We’re leaving soon.” 

“Sh, go,” Gary waves her off as he reaches for the phone. 

Madilyn shuts the door behind her, so Gary takes the phone off speaker and presses it to his ear. 

“Briefing tomorrow morning then, yes?” Gary runs a hand through his hair, hoping that the speaker on Gary’s phone is on the lower end of the quality spectrum… He really hopes Soap and Ghost didn’t hear that. 

_“Sure thing, lad. One question before you go though.”_ Soap leaves a pause, so Gary groans. 

“Yes, sir?” 

_“Latex pants, eh?”_

“With all do respect, sir, I don’t believe that qualifies as a question.” Gary scratches at his temple, praying that Soap will let this go. 

_“Very well. Just make sure you send a nice picture or two to Ghost’s phone here. I want to see my sergeant in these latex pants.”_ Soap doesn’t relent, so Gary shakes his head. 

“Permission to speak freely, sir?” 

_“Aye.”_

“In your fucking dreams.” 

Soap bursts into hearty laughter when Gary hears his name being called from the living room. 

“Alright, I have to go see a drag show since that’s what young people do nowadays. Are we all good?” Gary’s eyes are on the doorway, where the door is cracked. He can hear the rest of the group chatting. 

_“We’re good, mate. Have a good time. If you feel a little funny tonight then take off the latex pants. They’ll probably cut off circulation to your brain.”_

“Ha-ha.” Gary replies dryly to Soap’s little joke. “I’ll call you kids tomorrow. Mommy loves you. Bye for now.” 

Gary smirks as Soap’s laughter erupts once more, but he disconnects before they can tease each other any further. 

Gary situates his billowy shirt, starting to just feel _frumpy_ and ridiculous in this outfit. Gary would be so much more comfortable in a pair of boots and camo pants right about now… Hell, he’d take being covered in mud over this. But at least he’s getting out of his comfort zone. He should be proud of that, right? 

Gary decides to focus on that. He _is_ proud of himself, even if it’s a little bit. And he’s glad to meet new people like Jamie, too. He’s glad to see a drag show, even if it will be ‘extra’ like Jamie said. 

Gary comes out from the spare bedroom and into the living room where all eyes fall on him immediately. 

Jasmine wolf whistles _instantly_ while Madilyn just looks smug, even uttering an “I told you so.” 

“Gary!” Jamie squeals happily, coming over to grab onto Gary’s arm. He tugs the blushing sergeant into the room before he takes Gary’s wrist and makes the soldier spin on his heel. “Oh. My. _God!_ Gary, you have absolutely made my week! Look at you.” Jamie gasps again, placing a hand over his chest as he appreciates Gary’s outfit. 

Gary blushes something fierce as he can’t avoid the attention, but gives a mild and embarrassed bow. 

“Thank you, thank you…” Gary trails off before he waves at everyone else. “But look at you guys! Wow!” 

Jasmine’s in a white lace bodice that gets lost under a pair of high-waisted pants that show her form _nicely_ , with curvy hips and a small waist. The straps are thin on her shoulders, and the white contrasts with her dark skin so nicely. She’s got a few thin chains around her neck, and almost every finger of hers has a ring on it. Her hair is pulled back from her face, revealing shimmer on her cheeks and gold eyeshadow to match her jewelry. 

Madilyn is wearing a sheer crop top that has long sleeves, with a bralette underneath. She’s got on a dark green-blue plaid skirt that goes down to mid-thigh, with a pair of clunky combat boot that have less of a heel than Gary’s. Her auburn hair is pulled up in matching side-by-side buns, and her eyes are accentuated with charcoal shadow. 

Grant has a thin patterned top on, with most of the buttons undone to reveal his toned chest. The top his sort sleeve, with the cuffs rolled up once or twice to accentuate his muscles. The shirt is tucked in loosely at his waist, wearing a pair of fitted black trousers. His look is _far_ more masculine that Gary’s, which makes him want to ask why he got stuck with the latex pants…

Either way, Gary bites his tongue. He’s not upset by any means, and he knows that Jamie is having a hell of a time picking out outfits for them. 

Jamie, of course, is outdoing them all. He’s got on a blonde wig with boosted, thick hair. He’s got on blue, glittery eyeshadow to match the silver and blue outfit he’s sporting. He’s wearing a cropped navy blue leather jacket with tassels down the underside of the sleeves, a sheer white top underneath, with a white frilly skirt, almost like a tutu. What pulls the outfit all together are the navy blue cowboy boots with white thread on Jamie’s feet.

“Honey, this outfit is nothing. You should see what I wear when I'm performing.” Jamie grins, reaching out to rest a hand on Gary’s arm. 

“Be my Barbie doll a little longer,” Jamie asks, holding up a finger. “Wait right here. You need accessories.” 

Madilyn laughs while Jamie disappears in a hurry, giving Gary a mutually suffering look. “To quote Jamie, “An outfit isn’t complete without accessories.”” 

“You guys are literally making his month right now,” Jasmine smiles softly as she hugs Madilyn from behind. 

“I hope I get accessories,” Grant pouts. 

“Of course you will, doll.” Jamie’s smirk is fiery and his gaze sparkles as he comes back to the living room with a few pieces of jewelry in each hand. “You first, Gary.” 

“I’m scared,” Gary chuckles as he steps forward to accept Jamie’s pampering. 

“Madilyn said my goal was to make us all incredibly sexy and that is what I am doing.” Jamie says his last few words pointedly, setting down the jewelry on the nearby end table. He pulls out a black piece of cloth, almost like a strand of ribbon. 

“Turn, doll.” Jamie twirls his finger, giving Gary an expectant look. 

“Yes, sir,” Gary smirks, turning on his heel to present his backside to Jamie. 

“Call me _ma’am_ tonight,” Jamie’s eyes twinkle as he lifts the cloth and wraps it around Gary’s neck. “I am Miss Bumpin Grind, and you will treat me like the queen that I am, soldier.” 

Gary loves Jamie. He’s not surprised that he’s already classified Jasmine and Jamie under the ‘must protect at all costs’ category. He nods with a smile. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“That’s what I like to hear. Now turn around.” 

Gary follows Jamie’s orders and shows off the accessory. 

“Oh, _absolutely_.” Jasmine nods, giving Jamie a look that says the choice should be obvious. 

Curiously, Gary lifts his hand to touch at the silk ribbon around his neck. It’s not too tight, but firm enough that it stays up and around his neck. Gary thinks he remembers the names of these things…

“Wait, is this a choker?” Gary inquires, one corner of his mouth quirked up. 

“Score one for the private,” Jamie looks proud as he collects some earrings off of the table. 

“Sergeant, actually. “ Gary returns playfully while Jamie sorts out the jewelry. 

“A man in charge,” Jamie teases, waggling his brows exaggeratedly. “Are your ears pierced?” 

“They were,” Gary replies, shrugging. “Madilyn did it when we were teens and I wore some studs for awhile.” 

“Let me take a look,” Jamie steps up, inspecting Gary’s ears. “Looks good. May I?”

“Go ahead,” Gary nods. 

Jamie presses the earring to his ear, and it takes a little bit of force to push it through since Gary hasn’t worn earrings in _years_. But the pain is next to nothing, so he’ll bear it. 

“Perfect,” Jamie looks all too pleased. He pushes the second earring in and then steps back to look at Gary. “Uh!” Jamie shakes his head, putting a hand over his heart. “Perfect.” 

Jamie moves on to Grant, so Gary brings his hand up to play gently with the earrings. It’s an odd feeling, but it makes Gary remember his youth. Like sitting in Madilyn’s room at midnight with a safety pin, an ice cube, and a potato. Becca was with them, telling everything they needed with a proud smile. He pierced Madilyns ears that night too. The only price they had to pay was their mother’s anger, which only lasted about a day before she started explaining how to properly clean the piercings. Gary was only sixteen then, Madilyn was fourteen, and Becca seventeen.

He even remembers his mother’s disappointed sigh as she said, _“I only wish you would have waited until you were eighteen.”_

“Okay,” Jamie’s voice brings Gary out of his reverie. He turns to see Jamie staring up at Grant with a flirtatious glimmer in his gaze. “Your turn, big boy. Ready?” 

“Ready when you are, ma’am!” 

“You boys learn fast,” Jamie says, pleased. He places a necklace around Grant, a long chain that falls between his pectorals, rather than Gary’s tight choker. Gary doesn’t miss the way that Jamie’s fingers glide down the chain, grazing Grant’s skin as he goes. 

Jamie pulls himself out of whatever thought train he journeyed on, turning around and focusing on the remaining accessories. 

“What about you, Grant? Ears pierced?” 

“No, sorry,” Grant gives a sheepish smile. 

“It’s all fine, honey. I’ve got cuffs and clip-ons.” Jamie turns around, his flirtatious side falling and instead revealing his innocent, sweet excitement. He slides a gold clip on the height of Grant’s ear, then he clips a dangly earring on Grant’s other ear. 

Jamie steps back, inspects the jewelry, and then beams. 

“Okay, ladies. You are already _perfect_ but do you want to borrow anything?” Jamie wave his hand at the options.

“All good, sweetie, thank you.” Jasmine answers, arms still wrapped around Madilyn and chin hooked over her shoulder. 

“Okay!” Jamie claps his hands, looking at everyone. “Are we ready?!” 

They cheer and holler in response, so Jamie brushes the long blonde hair of his wig off his shoulder with a proud smile. 

“We’re taking a shot before we leave!” Jamie declares, running to the kitchen. There’s the clinking of glasses before he comes back into the room with a bottle in one hand, small shot glasses in the other. 

He hands them out patiently and then fills them to the top with vodka. He, on the other hand, doesn’t have a shot glass, but rather just the bottle. With a shimmering white smile, Jamie lifts the bottle into the air so the others follow with their glasses. 

“To a night of friends,” Jamie looks around the room fondly before he continues. “To a night of fun! To a night of love! To a night of sexiness!”

“Woo!” The room shouts before they clink their glasses together and down the shot. 

“Let’s go!” Jamie exclaims, taking Grant by the wrist since he’s closer, and Madilyn’s. He leads them out the door, leaving Jasmine and Gary trailing behind. 

Jasmine and Gary share a knowing smile before they sling their arms around each other and follow Jamie, the head of the party, out into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this! As you can tell from the length of this chapter, this is why I had to split it into two. Things are chugging along slowly but surely! Parts of me realize that I focus on dialogue a lot while writing, so I wish I could be more descriptive in areas. I think I'll try to work on that in future chapters. Thanks for reading as always! 
> 
> You can expect things to pick up a lot more in the next two chapters especially. Things are going to change!


	14. Selfish, Possessive Bastard

They’re leaving the drag show, warm after a few drinks and joyous with the buzz running through their veins. The show was _amazing_ , and even better with Jamie by their sides, acting as a quiet judge who would either praise or criticize another performer. He continuously made them laugh, whether it was on purpose or not. His famous tagline was “I could do that better,” which always made their table break into a fit of giggles. 

“Honey, honey, honey,” Jamie begins as he walks up to Grant's side. He laces their arms together, barely managing to school his smirk into a serious expression when Grant looks down at him. “Your brother-” Jamie takes a moment to turn around, keeping one arm curled around Grants but removing the other so he can point at Gary. “-you’re going to have to protect him because he’s going to be an absolute _feast_ at this bar, honey. I mean, you will be too, but Gary’s going to have five people proposing to him as soon as we walk through that door.” 

Grant struggles tearing his eyes away from Jamie long enough to look at Gary, but he manages. He looks over his shoulder at Gary, giving his brother a resolute nod. 

“No one’s going to propose to my little brother on my watch.” Grant gives Gary a thumbs up. “I’ll be the best damn cock block any of you have ever seen.” 

Laughter consumes the group once more as they continue down the sidewalk to the bar a few blocks away. Gary doesn’t miss the way Grant stares at Jamie, pride shining in his eyes at being the one to make Jamie laugh. 

They make it into the bar easily since Jamie seems to know _everyone_. He gives the bouncer a kiss on each cheek before he’s welcomed in with a wave. Everything moves effortlessly after that. Jamie and Grant go to the bar, Grant’s buying a round of whatever Jamie’s ordering for them while Jasmine and Madilyn take one of Gary’s arms each and lead him over to a table. 

“Guys,” Gary chuckles as they find an open table. “You know I can hold my own, even in a gay club.” 

“Maybe,” Madilyn looks unsure as she and Jasmine take a seat on the other side of the table. Gary stands across from them, his elbows resting on the glossy surface. “I hate to break it to you, but you’re the fifth wheel. Which means any of the lions in here can pick you off from the group, little gazelle.” 

“I’m a lion!” Gary insists, but frowns when Madilyn and Jasmine give him a pointed look that says they clearly disagree. He waves them off with a roll of his eyes before he adds on, “So you guys are picking up on those vibes with Jamie and Grant too, right?” 

“Oh my _God_ , yes.” Jasmine leans in, one hand resting over Madilyn’s while she reaches out to grab Gary’s arm. Gary leans in too, watching Jasmine glimpse over his shoulder to make sure Grant and Jamie aren’t going to catch them gossiping. “They’re flirting, right?” 

“I thought so!” Gary agrees. When Madilyn doesn’t say anything, he and Jasmine turn to look at her. 

Madilyn’s eyes are up at the bar, a smug smile on her face. She tips her head forward, so both Jasmine and Gary follow her line of sight. 

Jamie and Grant are turned into one another, hips pressed to the bar, completely ignoring everyone around them. It doesn’t look like they’ve even managed to order drinks yet, instead too wrapped up in one another to complete the task they took on for themselves. Jamie laughs at something Grant said, lifting a hand to swat at Grant’s chest… but his hand stays there, pressed to Grant’s pectoral 

“That’s flirting!” Gary exclaims, turning back to Jasmine and Madilyn for confirmation. “I definitely don’t know much about it, but that’s _flirting_. Right?” 

“That is _hardcore_ flirting.” Jasmine smirks before she starts to swat her hands excitedly at Gary’s. “Wow, I’m, like, super proud of Jamie. He’s _going_ for it.”

“I’m also proud, but I hope they hurry back,” Madilyn says as she turns to Jasmine. She wraps her arms around her girlfriend’s waist, making Jasmine roll her eyes fondly. “I want to take you out on the dance floor already.” 

“Go!” Gary insists, waving his hands at them. “I’m a lion! I can handle myself!” 

Madilyn and Jasmine give him an unsure look before Gary rolls his eyes at them. 

“ _Go_.” Gary demands, leaning over to look them both in the eyes. “I appreciate your willingness to defend my honor but I’ll be _fine.”_

Gary was _mostly_ fine. Grant and Jamie did make it over to the table eventually, leaving Gary with the drinks before they headed off to the dance floor. 

Gary received a _lot_ of offers to dance. More than he ever imagined he’d get… Some of the strangers were kind and accepted the rejection well, while others rolled their eyes and said snide comments under their breath as they walked away. Those interactions were what left Gary feeling annoyed as he lingered in the corner by their table.

Eventually, Gary started drinking everyone’s drinks, but he’s sure they won’t mind since they were only getting warmer the longer they sat there. It kept his buzz going, and luckily entertained while he started to people-watch. 

They’ve been there for almost an hour when Gary feels his phone buzz in his breast pocket. Considering the lack of pockets on his latex pants… Gary had to find an alternative. 

He does hesitate though, wondering whether he wants to read whatever it is that Simon sent him or not. He’s not supposed to be thinking about Simon right now… but then again, if Gary acts interested in his phone then maybe people will stop asking him to dance. 

Gary tells himself that’s why he pulls out his phone. Not because he’s been hoping Ghost would text him all night. 

_Unknown Number [12:14AM]_

_How’d the show go?_

Gary’s tongue glides against his bottom lip, wondering if he should open this door tonight. He could just wait and text Ghost in the morning. But Gary _wants_ to talk to him... 

_[12:15AM]_

_It was really fun._

Gary chews on the inside of his cheek, deciding that’s not enough. His thumbs click against the screen as he writes out another reply. 

_[12:16AM]_

_Shouldn’t you be working right now?_

_Unknown Number [12:17AM]_

_It's the middle of the afternoon on Sunday and I’d rather talk to you. Work can wait._

_[12:18AM]_

_I’m honored to be prioritized over your work._

_Unknown Number [12:18AM]_

_You sounded upset earlier. Did I do something?_

The message comes through immediately after Gary sends his, so he knows that Ghost didn’t even wait for Gary’s reply. Gary wonders if Ghost has been thinking about this since their call disconnected. It doesn’t seem right though. Ghost doesn’t worry about hurting anyone’s feelings…

_[12:19AM]_

_I’m still talking to Simon, right? He doesn’t care about people's feelings._

Gary means for the response to be joking, but it sounds like he’s deflecting, so Gary types out another quick reply. 

_[12:19AM]_

_No, you didn’t do anything._

Gary supposes that was a fib, but it’s not like he’s about to open up a can of feelings that Simon _definitely_ doesn’t want to get into. Even Gary recoils at the thought of an emotional talk. That’s just not who he and Simon are. 

The seconds tick by without a response, causing Gary’s anxiety to furrow. He’s thinking about writing out another response, maybe something lighthearted, but his screen is taken over by an incoming call. 

Gary wants to answer it. He wants to hear Ghost’s voice so badly… but Gary clicks on the red phone instead. He ignores Ghost’s call, trying not to focus on the disappointment that grabs onto his lungs and _squeezes_ until he can barely breathe. 

_Unknown Number [12:22AM]_

_I care about your feelings, Roach._

Gary exhales shakily, but can’t help rolling his eyes at Ghost’s response. Gary’s annoyed and he can’t do anything to shake it. He liked it better when he remained clueless to these things… like before Ghost made him go on vacation. 

Gary pauses as he starts to wonder… were things any better then? Maybe it was just easier not to face these feelings when he was with the 141. They had other things to worry about, after all. But Gary knows that, even before he went on vacation, he always looked forward to when Ghost would walk into the office in the morning with two coffees in his hands. One for himself and one for Gary. He knows that his heart would always stop, just like now, whenever Ghost took his mask off. Gary knows he could never hold back a smirk when Ghost would purr the word _bug_ like it was some sexy word…

Maybe he’s liked Ghost longer than he thought. Ghost always made Gary’s heart feel funny… but it took them being separated to realize what those feeling are.

Gary likes Ghost. Too much for his own good. 

“Gary! Why aren’t you out dancing?!” 

Gary’s eyes jump up off of his phone, instead landing on Jamie. He seems to realize he startled Gary, so he begins a gentler approach as he walks up to the table. A soft smile curls the corners of his plump lips upward, and a knowing look fills his eyes.

“So what’s on your mind, sweetheart?” Jamie plants himself in front of Gary’s line of sight, leaning across the small table to plant his hands over Gary’s. He squeezes reassuringly, giving Gary a smile. Only when Gary returns it does he realize he’d been frowning… How can he look so miserable when the club they’re at is so colorful and boisterous? 

Gary sighs, allowing his gaze to fall to their conjoined hands. 

Jamie pats him with a knowing smile. “Maddie said you were talking to a stupid person. Tell me about your troubles.” 

Gary gives a self-deprecating laugh as he turns his hands over so he can squeeze Jamie’s in return. “Jamie, I’m not making you my therapist for the night.”

“Honey, you’d be doing me a favor. I’m looking for some drama to feed my own boring life.” Jamie rolls his eyes at the mention of himself, but Gary knows that’s not true. He’s a caring soul, Gary can tell it’s bred into Jamie’s character. Besides, Gary doesn’t want to be the one sitting in the corner all night.

“I don’t date,” Gary starts off with, biting on his bottom lip before he continues. “I don’t do hookups either… I’ve always just focused on my job. But I, uh…” Gary thinks about his words carefully, trying to stifle the embarrassment he feels as he tells Jamie his story. “I _started_ talking to someone. And realized how much I like them. But that someone basically told me they wanted something casual,” Gary explains. 

Jamie’s face pulls together as he processes those words, then lifts up a finger. “Did they actually say casual or something else?” 

“Ah, no. I guess I’m taking Madilyn’s words. She said it sounded like he wanted casual. But what _he_ said was that he likes where we are,” Gary blushes as he takes his freed hands and wipes them down on his sleeves. Gary’s not one to talk to people about these things… _feelings_ that is, but he’s done it twice now with Jamie and Madilyn. Being home has really broken him. 

“And where is that?” Jamie inquires, showing genuine concern and interest. It makes Gary squirm. He’s not sure he deserves Jamie’s kindness. 

“When I left to come back home, we were close. Spent all of our time together. But that also comes with the job. We _have_ to spend all our time together. So I just… thought we were lucky that we enjoyed each other’s company. More than that, we hold a mutual respect for each other.” 

Jamie grins fondly, placing his chin in his hand. Gary holds an innocent charm that simply makes him _adorable_. 

“That’s called being friends, sweetie.” Jamie adds on with a giggle. 

“Right,” Gary flushes, embarrassed that his relationships are so skewed from being in the military that it’s odd to even admit you’re friends with someone. He guesses it’s an attempt to put distance between oneself and another soldier. Gary remembers what Madilyn said earlier… it’s a fear of losing someone. And the pain left after they’re gone. 

“So we were friends when I left.” Gary continues, but then shakes his head. “I mean, we’re still friends. _Then_ I came home and I didn’t hear from him for a month. I didn’t think anything of it… I never thought of him as the guy to just call and talk. But that’s exactly what happened. He called and we’d talk about our days. It made me realize how much I like him. And then we started flirting...” Gary’s voice raises in pitch, as if he’s suggesting a question. He deflates when he lets out a nervous laugh. “I feel ridiculous. I’m talking about this like some sort of lovestruck teenager.” 

“You should feel _good_ about that.” Jamie corrects, eyes sparkling mystically. “It means you’re alive. Love is magic. A gift and a curse all in one and we should realize how blessed we are to experience it.” 

“You’re wise, Jamie.” Gary smirks proudly, especially when Jamie gives an effortless shrug. 

“I’m a lover, what can I say?” Jamie winks conspiratorially. “Let me tell you something, Gary. If this man took time out of his day to call you and ask you how your day was, he _cares_ something fierce. That gesture is one of the smallest but most overlooked gestures. Think about how strongly someone must love you if they just want to sit and hear you talk?”

Gary opens his mouth, but embarrassment and the fear of accepting what Jamie’s telling him causes his throat to close. He presses his lips together in a pursed grin before he ducks his gaze and looks at his hands. 

“One last thing, sweetheart,” Jamie reaches over, hooking a finger under Gary’s chin so their gazes meet. There’s softness in Jamie’s eyes, looking somehow maternal and nurturing. “I don’t know much about what you do. Jas said you’re a soldier like her, but something tells me there’s more to you than that. Either way, it seems like you and this friend of yours have to sacrifice a lot in your work. I’m only bringing this up because it doesn’t sound like he wants to have a casual relationship because he doesn’t want more. It sounds like he’s afraid of what you have changing because what you have now is _good_. And if I had to guess, when things change in your line of work it’s usually for the worse.”

Gary nods in Jamie’s hand, breathing deeply and exhaling. He needed this talk… 

“Good!” Jamie beams at Gary, a blindingly white smile. “Now you’re coming with me to the dance floor and _then_ we’re taking shots!” 

Jamie’s not going to take no for an answer so Gary’s not even going to try. He’s pulled to the dance floor by Jamie, weaving in between bodies like a pro with Gary just behind him. Somehow Jamie gets them in the middle, at least Gary assumes this is the middle. They're surrounded by people, all moving rhythmically to the music. It's crazy how they all feel like one - connected by the beat.

“Gar!” Grant shouts happily, coming over to wrap an arm around Gary’s neck to pull him into his side. 

Gary laughs before he realizes that suddenly Jasmine and Madilyn are there too, and soon they’re forming a circle so they can dance together and shout the lyrics to some pop song Gary’s only heard once since he came back. 

The song ends, and then the shots come. One round after another. Gary’s comfortably drunk, finally feeling like the last string that was keeping him so uptight has finally snapped. He sings loud and messily, and he dances like a dork, but he’s not alone in doing so. He’s surrounded by his friends and family who are all making just as much fools of themselves as he is. 

They leave at some point. The alcohol has made Gary giddy, and he’s had enough that his memory is starting to fade in and out. He remembers leaving the club, but then they’re at a donut shop and they’re all laughing while they’re eating their treats on the sidewalk. They leave, and then at some point Madilyn asks for Gary’s phone because hers died. 

They walk throughout the city, Jamie becomes their unofficial tour guide as he shows them around. He tells them stories; some of them historial and some of them hilariously personal. At some point through his unofficial tour, a loud roll of thunder sounds in the distance, which sends the whole party into motion. 

They race back to Jamie’s apartment but sadly don’t outrun the downpour. They’re soaked, from head to toe, before they make it back to the old firehouse. 

Madilyn makes sure to tease Grant as they hurry inside, saying “Hey, Grant didn’t fall in a bush tonight! That’s a win!”

Jasmine and Gary get a good laugh, but Jamie just looks up at Grant with confusion in his gaze. 

“It’s my thing,” Grant says with a shrug, looking dopey and cute. 

Which is apparently Jamie’s type because he looks smitten as he shakes his head at Grant. He starts to head up the stairs, waving his hand for them to follow. 

“Come on, come on. I have to take this wig off.” Jamie snickers as he leads them back to his apartment. He pulls out his keys, skillfully unlocks the door on his first try, and pushes his way in. He heads to the bathroom, already peeling the wig off his head as he tells them to all settle in. 

Things move like a blur from there. They break apart, Jasmine and Madilyn taking one room while Grant and Gary take another so they can change into their pajamas. And if Gary thought getting into the pants before was hard, he had no idea what it’d be like taking them off while wet. A nightmare is an easy way to put it. 

He’s bone tired by the time he gets a pair of athletic shorts on and an old t-shirt. 

“Jamie made hot chocolate!” Madilyn calls from down the hall. 

Grant bounds out of the room happily while Gary follows at a much slower pace. He’s glad for the warm drink, which is one of the last things he remembers before the night turns black. 

-

Gary wakes up in the guest bedroom alone, but there’s a sense of wrongness. He’s pretty sure that he and Grant were sharing the bed… Madilyn and Jasmine were taking the pullout in the living room while Jamie slept in his own room. Gary rubs at his eye before he props himself up on his elbow and begins searching around the room. 

Grant’s nowhere to be found. 

Gary moans behind his lips, feeling a dull ache behind his eyes. He’s going to need some ibuprofen before this turns into a migraine… 

He’s about to climb out of bed when his phone starts to ring on the bedside table. Someone plugged it in before bed, whether it was himself or one of his siblings Gary’s not sure. Either way he’s thankful. 

Gary stretches over, swiping his phone up and checking the time. It’s almost nine-thirty… Gary really slept in. Part of him feels bad that he made Ghost and Soap wait, since he’s sure they were ready to get their briefing done hours ago. 

Which explains why they’re calling him now. 

Gary clicks on the green phone, pressing it to his ear before he falls back onto the pillows. He keeps his eyes closed in hopes of staving off his headache. 

“Hey, sorry.” Gary sighs, arching his back off the bed to stretch it. He even lets a yawn seep into his words. “Good morning.”

_“I must be dreaming, Roach.”_

Gary’s eyes open, staring up at the ceiling with his brows knitted together in confusion. The worst part is the feeling of dread starting to sink in his stomach at Soap’s words. His captain sounds way too smug…

“...Why?” 

_“You must not have seen what was sent to Ghost’s phone early this morning-”_

Soap isn’t even finished talking when Gary sits up speedily, pulling the phone away from his ear. He puts Soap on speaker at lightning speed before he moves to his and Ghost’s text messages. 

Gary’s heart stops when he reads the last message, a little note from Madilyn. 

_[8:46AM]_

_Madilyn, this is Madilyn. Here is a list of things to do:_

_1\. Buy Grant a new hoodie_

_2\. Ask Jas to move in……._

_3.Throw Gary a birthday party_

_4\. Buy a new phone charger_

The two pictures above her little note to self are of Gary. Taken by Madilyn sometime last night. He scrolls up, only to see more pictures… upon pictures… with some videos in there too that Gary doesn’t bother clicking on. All he can think of now is how to _fix_ this. He’s not sure _when_ or _why_ Madilyn had to get into Gary’s phone while he was still sleeping, but it’s obvious she did.

Gary groans into his hand, knowing that he’s going to have to admit defeat on this one. “Soap, delete the pictures. My sister’s phone died last night, she used my phone to take pictures, she tried to send them to herself this morning and sent them to Ghost’s phone instead. There’s your explanation, now _please_ delete them.” 

_“Bug, it’s Ghost’s phone. I don’t feel like it’s right for me to delete his messages.”_

Gary groans again, turning desperate now. “Soap, please don’t let Ghost see those.”

There’s the sound of a door clicking shut, and then booted footsteps against the floor. 

_“Don’t let Ghost see what?”_ Of course it’s Ghost, because Gary’s life can never be easy. It’s like he’s living in a movie where every day off he has only gets more and more humiliating. It doesn’t help that Ghost’s voice is calm, as if he’s barely interested. He’s far too used to the mischief Soap tends to pull Roach into. 

_“Perfect timing, mate. Do I have permission to delete these pictures off your phone? Roach is asking.”_ Soap is the _opposite_ of an ally to Gary right now. 

That seems to catch Ghost’s attention since he’s walking closer to Soap’s desk. He’s close, Gary knows since he can hear Ghost hum curiously. 

_“What pictures?”_

_“Here,”_ Soap hands the phone over, Gary can hear the rustling as the device switches hands. _“Take a look.”_

“For fuck’s sake,” Gary growls. “You guys are honestly the worst. I can’t think of two people I dislike more right now.” 

There’s silence and Gary has to sit through every second of it, with his heart pounding in his chest from a mixture of frustration and anticipation. Picturing Soap looking at those pictures was worse enough, but now having Ghost’s eyes on those pictures? Gary wants to crawl into a hole. 

_“Actually, these are important intel. I’ll need to hold onto these.”_ Ghost replies before he hands the phone back over to Soap. 

_“I thought you might,”_ Soap says all too knowingly. 

“Yuck it up,” Gary smiles threateningly into the phone. “Just wait until I come back.”

_“Make sure you bring the collar with you, love.”_ Ghost’s voice takes on that same lax tone as before, as if he’s comfortable and takes no warning from Gary’s threats. 

“Hey, Ghost,” Gary’s tone takes on a venomous sweetness. “If you show those pictures to _anyone_ else, I’ll make sure you regret it.” 

_“Right. So for my viewing pleasure only. Got it.”_

Soap, as always, is snickering in the background at the spat going on between his lieutenant and sergeant. It almost feels like Gary’s back home with them. 

“Fuck you both. I’m on vacation. Your briefing can wait until tomorrow.” 

_“Aw, mate!”_ Soap’s the first one to try and coerce Gary back onto the call. _“Don’t be like that!”_

“Uh-huh,” Gary nods along as he puts his folded clothes into his backpack. “See if you hear from me for the rest of the week.” 

_“Ghost, talk some sense into him. You’re the only one that can.”_ Soap’s voice is quieter as he tries to gain Ghost as an ally. 

_“Roach, love, no need to get your knickers in a twist. But while we’re on the topic of your knickers, are you still wearing that thong from last night?”_ There’s an infuriating smile in Ghost’s tone, that, mixed with his alluring gravelly voice, makes Gary’s skin flush hot. _Fuck_ , if Ghost isn’t stupidly fucking hot. 

“Hey, Ghost?” Gary concocts a perfect picture of sweet venom in his tone. “Kiss my ass.” 

_“I mean, if that’s what it takes-”_

“Bye.” Gary pulls the phone back and doesn’t hesitate as he clicks the red phone and disconnects the call. 

It takes a few seconds for Gary to gather his thoughts, just sitting in the silence of Jamie’s guest bedroom. It’s early, and the room is starting to get hot with the morning sun, which isn’t helping Gary’s headache. So, despite having just woken up and so much happening _already_ , he kicks the covers off and pads his way to the door. 

Gary works on auto-pilot as he finds his way to the kitchen, where Jasmine and Madilyn work effortlessly around each other. The smell of pancakes is in the air, twinged with something… burning.

“Oh, Jas! Get the toast out!” Madilyn points at the toaster oven with her spatula. 

Jasmine hurries over, Gary watches from the outskirts of the kitchen, and flings the door to the toaster oven open. Luckily, there’s no smoke… but the four pieces of toast are charred black from being left in too long. 

“Oh no!” Jasmine whines, plucking the burnt toast out and speedily disposing it in the trash can. Once the toast lands with a solid thunk into the bin, Jasmine looks up at Madilyn with a pout. The couple share a look before they both burst into laughter. 

“It’s not funny!” Jasmine complains, but Madilyn walks over to give her a kiss on the temple. “I should be able to make toast.” 

“Just sit down, babe.” Madilyn chuckles, coming back to her pan to flip two pancakes. 

Jasmine turns to do just that, stopping for only a moment when she sees Gary standing a few feet away. 

“Good morning” Jasmine greets cheerfully, continuing her journey to the round kitchen table and taking a seat. 

“Morning,” Gary says, hearing his irritation seep into his tone. He sighs as he stares at Madilyn’s back. “Maddie, did you get into my phone this morning?” 

“Yeah!” She says, clueless to the trouble she caused. “I just sent myself the pictures from last night. I wasn’t snooping. You know I wouldn’t do that.” 

“I know,” Gary agrees, but another heavy sigh leaves him. “The problem is that you sent the pictures to _Simon_. Not yourself.” 

Madilyn drops the spatula _right_ into the frying pan, spinning around so fast that even Gary feels like he has whiplash. 

“No,” Madilyn argues with a panic in her eyes that Gary hasn’t seen since they were teenagers. “Gary, _no_.” 

“You did,” Gary says with a short laugh, but to his surprise Madilyn doesn’t laugh. 

“Gary, I’m _so_ sorry.” Madilyn steps forward, looking close to tears. “I know I meddle sometimes but I did _not_ mean to do that. I would never go behind your back like that-” 

“Mads, hey,” Gary gives his sister a soft smile with a glint of confusion in his gaze. He’s not sure what he did that would make her think he’d be so angry with her but he needs to fix that. “It’s okay. Sure, my captain and Simon are going to be complete asses about it but I can take it.” 

Madilyn pouts, her eyes still glimmering with an apology. Gary’s words should make her feel better, but he knows they haven’t. So he gives his little sister a roll of his eyes before he reaches out and pulls her into a hug, one arm around her shoulders. 

“Stop looking like the victim here. My captain’s going to be teasing me about those latex pants for _years_.” 

Madilyn laughs against Gary’s chest, sounding amused yet pained. She groans, shaking her head back and forth before she buries her face in Gary’s shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry,” she repeats. 

“It’s okay.” Gary pats the back of her head consolingly before his eyes fall onto the frying pan. “Uh, your pancakes might be burning.”

“AH!” Madilyn screams, spinning on her heel and hurrying back to the stove. She hurriedly flips the pancakes on top of the waiting pile. Good news is that they’re not ruined, but they are definitely darker than the rest of the stack. 

Madilyn lets out a sigh, flicking the stovetop off and staring at her stack of pancakes. A pout resurfaces as she turns to Gary. 

“I’m sorry I goofed,” Madilyn groans, stamping her feet childishly. “I’ll make it up to you. And tell your captain I’ll kick his butt if he doesn’t shut his mouth.” 

“I will,” Gary promises, watching Madilyn bring the pancakes over to the table. “I’ll tell my six-foot-two, two-hundred-pound-something, captain that my little sister will kick his “butt.””

“Perfect,” Madilyn smirks at Gary as she walks past him, grabbing the syrup off the counter and walking back to the table. “And I guess Simon got to see that hot revenge outfit after all… so I hope he’s suffering.” 

“Yeah,” Gary replies dryly, following her over to the table so he can take a seat. He presses his elbows onto the table before he closes his eyes. “I’m sure.” 

“Did you even look at those pictures? Trust me, honey. He’s going to suffer.” Madilyn puts a plate in front of Jasmine and then Gary before she starts to dish out the pancakes. 

“I’m with Maddie on this one.” Jasmine nods as she grabs the syrup and drowns her breakfast in it. “You were looking _mad_ hot last night, Gar.” 

Gary puts his hands up, fighting down the heat that’s coloring his cheeks. “Okay, both of you shut your mouths. I can only handle so much embarrassment for today.” 

“Fine, but I also want to know what his reaction-”

“Absolutely not,” Gary cuts Madilyn off, earning an offended gasp from her immediately. “I’m not going to tell you what he says! He probably won’t even say anything-” 

Gary’s phone buzzes in his pocket, just loud enough that both Jasmine and Madilyn stare at him expectantly. 

“I’m not reading it.” Gary says resolutely, shaking his head back and forth firmly. “Eat your pancakes-” 

“Aw, come on!” Jasmine turns to Gary with a look of hope in her eyes. It’s obvious how long she and Madilyn have been together, seeing how their personalities are starting to meld. “Don’t hold out on us!” 

Gary holds up a finger, looking between the two. “I will not have you two teaming up against me.” 

“Wait, who’s teaming up against who? I’ve got your back Gar!” Grant enters the kitchen, with tousled hair and suspiciously red lips… Gary’s suspicions only deepen when Jamie enters a few seconds later, purposefully not looking at the group as he heads to the coffee machine. Gary sees right through them…

“Long story short, Madilyn sent Simon pictures of Gary from last night.” Jasmine waggles her brows as she updates Grant and Jamie on the situation, which leaves Gary a blushing mess at being the center of attention. “Simon just _texted_ him and he won’t look at it.” 

Grant gasps dramatically, looking at Gary with unbridled excitement. “Gary! What did he say?! Tell us!” 

Jamie comes over with his mug of coffee, looking just as excited. “Is Simon the _boy~_ you’ve been talking to?” 

Gary tries his best not to pass out from all of the blood rushing to his face as he answers, “Simon is… yes. And I’m not telling you!” 

“Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!” Grant starts to cheer, which easily gains traction with the other three. They keep at it until Gary has no choice other than to give in. 

“This is peer pressure!” Gary shouts over them, but they recognize his defeat and all cheer. 

Gary pulls out his phone, feeling his heart start to race at the possibilities of what this text could say. He’s not sure what would be worse right now… Simon acknowledging the pictures or completely ignoring them in favor of talking about the briefing Gary has kept making them postpone.

Either way, Gary swallows his nerves and opens the text. 

_Unknown Number [10:02AM]_

_You have no idea what you do to me, Gary._

_Unknown Number [10:03AM]_

_I’ll delete the pictures right now if you want me to. But I want you to know I’m a selfish, possessive bastard because I don’t want to. And I never want to stop looking at you. You’re beautiful._

Gary feels a full body shudder overtake him before he has to read the message over again. 

“What did he say?!” Madilyn wiggles her shoulders, unable to contain her anticipation. 

Gary’s chest is full of warmth, and he’s unable to fight down a smile as he shakes his head at the waiting crowd. He glimpses up at them, but their hopeful, open faces make Gary hide behind his hands. 

Jamie screams happily, “Look! He’s blushing!” 

Gary takes in a deep breath before he lowers his hands, meeting their expectant gazes. Gary decides to just read the last text off to them, rather than trying to word it himself because right now there’s not much he can do. Simon has turned Gary into an absolute mess.

They’re _all_ screaming as soon as Gary finishes reading the text. 

Jamie waves his hands at his face, overcome by Simon’s text. “That is _so_ romantic and so sexy. Oh my God, it’s too hot in here.” 

“He’s so whipped, I can’t believe it.” Jasmine states while Madilyn continues to have a melt down. 

“Honey,” Jamie interjects, pointing at Gary with his hips cocked to one side. “You were worried about that boy wanting casual? That is _not_ casual, honey. He wants _you_ badly.”

Gary snorts, putting a hand to his forehead. “Okay, I can’t take anymore.” 

“You better tell Simon because he wants to give it _all_ to you, sweetheart.” Jamie bites down on his lower lip, waggling his eyebrows in a fashion so similar to Jasmine that their resemblance is undeniable.

“Alright! Everyone leave Gary alone before he passes out. Eat some damn pancakes.” Madilyn waves towards the table. She deflects the attention well, bringing the attention back to the food, which a couple of hungover people are unable to refuse. Her eyes catch Gary’s so she gives her brother a wink, which he returns with a fond grin. 

He appreciates her rescue, even if she was the one who threw him into trouble in the first place. 

Gary follows their lead, stealing the syrup when it becomes available and dousing his pancakes much like everyone else. He sits back, finally glad to be a bystander and listen to everyone else talk and reminisce about the night they had. It feels good, Gary thinks to himself. He hadn’t imagined himself doing what other young people do… he’s so busy with the 141 after all. But if this is what his life will look like if he makes it out of the 141 alive… then it’s not looking so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Thanks for reading. I've been a little down lately about my writing, so I've been powering through and trying to get these chapters out to you. Chapter 13, this chapter, and the next one was all one chapter, but I've had to split it into three since it just got so long. I hope you guys enjoyed it <3 Also, I only did a quick read through so I apologize for any errors!


	15. Touch Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW warning! Things get heated in this chapter, beware.

Jasmine and Madilyn drop Gary off last, considering he’s the only one out of the way. Madilyn lives closer to town, with Grant and Graham’s house only a few miles from her. So she pulls her car down the long driveway to their childhood home, drops her brother off, and then she and Jasmine wave their goodbyes enthusiastically out of the car windows as they head back to town. Back home.

Gary shakes his head fondly as he heads inside, letting the screen door clack shut behind him. He’s not surprised to see that his parents are still gone. It’s Sunday afternoon, so they’re probably spending their free time fixing up the cabin. Gary thinks they're viewing that as a retirement project, honestly. 

Gary makes his way upstairs, dreaming about a nice hot shower… After getting rained on, and still smelling a little like booze from the night before, Gary can’t think of anything _nicer_ right now. 

He closes his bedroom door behind him, throwing his bag down beside his bed and tossing his phone on top of his sheets. His fingers grip onto the edge of his shirt, about to pull the fabric up and over his head when he hears a dull buzz coming from his bed… 

Gary glimpses over his shoulder, arms still crossed over one another before he realizes that a text came through. He supposes it could be Madilyn… or Jasmine. But something tells Gary that it’s Ghost. After all, they still have to do the briefing. He and Soap probably want to get it done and go to bed since it’s getting pretty late over there…

Gary drops his hands to his waist, walking over and scooping his phone back up. 

_Unknown Number [5:45PM]_

_Soap wants to get this briefing done, princess. You done ignoring us now?_

Gary grins at the message, feeling a wave of pride come over him. He’s glad that he has some control right now… after all, it’s not like Soap was on his side this morning. He happily showed Ghost his incriminating photos, so a punishment was due. Gary thinks he’s made Soap wait long enough.

He opens his laptop, types in his encrypted password, and then takes in a calming breath.

Gary sits down in front of the computer, glad to see the call already coming through. Ringing… and ringing… Gary can make them wait a while longer. So, with a devious smile, Gary watches as the call carries on ringing for another minute before he picks up. 

_“Jesus Christ, finally.”_ Soap breathes. There’s no anger in his tone, only relief that Gary finally answered. _“I was getting worried about you, mate.”_

“I’m sure you were.” Gary’s being a smartass, but he’s on vacation. A vacation he was forced to go on. It’s not like Soap can make him run laps. 

_“I don’t know what you’re so upset about, bug. You look handsome._ And _you gave a very generous gift to a sad, old man.”_ Soap looks pleased with his teasing as he puts his hands behind his head. 

“You’re saying the pictures my sister accidentally sent were a gift to you…?” Gary’s consumed with genuine confusion. 

Soap’s the first to react, his smile falling and raising his hands in irritation. Meanwhile, Ghost is losing his shit in the background. Gary hasn’t heard his lieutenant laugh this hard in a year; the last time Ghost laughed this hard was when Nomad choked on a meatball after making a joke about going “balls deep.” 

_“He just called you old and sad.”_ Ghost manages through his laughter. 

Soap rolls his eyes over to Ghost, but he’s enjoying Ghost’s laughter as much as Gary is. It’s a nice sound. 

“Ohhh,” Gary smiles sweetly. “You were talking about Ghost.” 

_“Yes. Now he gets it.”_ Soap throws his arms up and then back down to land on the arms of his chair. 

“You’re both sad and old. How was I supposed to know?” Gary grumbles. “Besides, I’m not upset. I expected nothing else from perverts like you two who have no concept of decency.”

_“Aw, mate,”_ Soap grimaces as he glimpses off to the side. He’s talking to Ghost as he says, _“He’s playing the “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” card.”_

Ghost comes into view, dragging his roller chair with him. He spins it around and then throws himself down into it. Ghost exhales as he stretches his arms above his head and leans back. 

_“He’ll get over it,”_ Ghost sighs, getting comfortable in his seat. 

“Oh, _yeah._ ” Gary replies sarcastically. “Don’t worry, Soap. I’ll forget all about it.” 

Soap glimpses at Ghost, then in a flat tone says, _“I don’t think he’s going to get over it.”_

_“Don’t worry about our little bug’s temper. I'll work my magic later. For now, let’s get this briefing over and done with.”_ Ghost keeps his eyes on the camera, as if he’s challenging Gary to fight back. Gary does want to be continue being bratty… he’s getting some satisfaction out of it. But Ghost is right. The briefing needs to be done. Gary’s made them wait long enough. 

Soap reaches off to the side to grab a messy stack of papers, not even bothering to straighten them out as he begins to start their briefing. Gary smirks. It’s obviously late for them, so Soap doesn’t care much for presentation at this hour. Bedtime is coming up for his lieutenant and captain. 

The briefing takes a little over half an hour, which Gary listens to intently. He gives his feedback at the end when Soap puts the papers back on his desk and leaves them in a jumbled pile. Soap hums approvingly at Gary’s additions, grabbing a nearby black pen to write down Gary’s suggestions. 

_“Alright, lads,”_ Soap exhales, throwing his pen down on top of the pile. He scoots back in his roller chair before he stands, his face out of view of the camera. _“I’m off to get some food and then bed now that we’ve got that done. I’ve learned my lesson. Hell hath no fury like Gary scorned. Goodnight, Gary. Goodnight, old man.”_

Soap taps the back of Ghost’s head fondly as he walks past.

Ghost mumbles a quick, _“‘Night,”_ before he grabs the edge of Soap’s desk and wheels himself closer to the webcam. The second Gary hears the door to the office click shut he knows he’s in trouble. The tension is already palpable. 

_“You’ve been ignoring my texts.”_ Ghost comments breezily, leaning casually back in his seat. 

“Oh, those?” Gary brushes off, giving a slight shrug. “I’ve been busy.” 

_“Mhm.”_ Ghost’s response is dry, so dry that Gary can’t help but smirk. 

“You can keep my pictures…” Gary replies, his eyes downcast since he’s too shy to meet Ghost’s gaze. It’s silly, since Ghost’s eyes are hidden behind his shades anyway. “I was busy so I couldn’t respond. It’s a three hour drive back home.” 

_“I meant what I said, Roach.”_ Ghost’s tone is so confident, so sure, that Gary’s heart skips a beat. He remembers the text well… he’s reread it numerous times. _You’re beautiful_ , Ghost had written. 

“I already knew you were a selfish, possessive bastard.” Gary easily deflects the seriousness Ghost is displaying with humor. It’s the first time Gary’s able to flit his eyes up to the screen. Ghost, as Gary expected, is watching him intently, sat back comfortably in his chair. It makes Gary blush… being under Ghost’s gaze so vulnerably like this.

“You know…” Gary trails off playfully, tilting his head to the side so he can smirk at the camera. He’ll continue this line of teasing since i seems to be doing something to Ghost… “To answer your question from earlier, yes, I’m still wearing the thong.” 

Ghost chokes on his own spit, coughing so suddenly that Gary jumps at the noise. And then he’s _smug._ Gary’s so fucking cocky now that he’s gotten that reaction out of Ghost - but his lieutenant is recovering fast. Gary’s not done causing chaos yet. 

Gary drags his tongue lazily against his bottom lip, gaze falling to his hand. He watches his fingers pick at the corner of the laptop as he mulls over the best way to approach his next attack. Finally, Gary decides its best to just dive right in. 

His hazel eyes flick up towards the laptop screen to take in Ghost’s appearance. His mask, glasses, his soft long-sleeve black shirt that clings so nicely to his figure. Gary’s going to have _fun_ with this. He’s already smiling mirthfully before he leans in closer to the camera. 

“Do you want to see?” Gary’s teeth latch onto his bottom lip. _Yes,_ he’s trying to look pretty. Is he succeeding? Hell if he knows… 

_“Fuck’s sake, Roach. What are you playing at?”_ Ghost drawls in a deep, dangerous tone. 

“They’re cute,” Gary continues with a harmless shrug. “I’d wear lace more often but there aren’t many opportunities to when I’m with the one-four-one.” 

Ghost takes in a breath, glimpsing towards the door of their shared office before he turns back to the computer. He sits forward in his seat, closer to the computer, and lowers his voice. 

_“You haven’t forgotten that I’m in our office, have you, love? MacTavish could walk in any second.”_ Ghost warns almost protectively. 

Gary shrugs again. “He’d probably think my underwear is cute too.” 

Ghost freezes, his eyes on the computer screen, guarded behind his glasses. Then he sits back with an irritated sigh leaving him. Gary watches, curiously soaking in Ghost’s body language. Like the way Ghost’s legs spread wider, with one hand laying on the inside of his thigh. Ghost’s other arm is propped up on the arm of his chair, with his chin resting in his hand. Gary’s lieutenant is looking off to the side, shaking his head. 

Ghost is annoyed, but Gary didn’t need Ghost’s body language to tell him that. Gary knows he’s making Ghost jealous. It wasn’t hard to do… and Gary’s never gotten along well with jealous people. But there’s something about Ghost’s jealousy that’s protective and possessive yet so harmless that it makes Gary want to poke a little further. 

“Let me show you before he comes back then,” Gary places his elbows on his desk, glad when Ghost looks back over to the camera. “I only want you to see anyway.” 

Ghost rubs at his jaw, as if he’s contemplating Gary’s words. He sighs again, and Gary _knows_ that Ghost is suffering from Gary’s teasing. In all the best ways possible, of course. 

_“Fine. But if MacTavish comes in then you’re explaining this to him.”_ Ghost grumbles as he shifts closer in his chair. 

“His desk is in the corner, and I’d hear him before he’d even get close to the computer.” Gary rolls his eyes at Ghost’s hesitancy. “It’s not like I’m going to get naked.” 

_“What a shame.”_ Ghost retorts, his tone cocky. 

“Hardly seems fair what with you _always_ being fully clothed,” Gary teases as he stands from his chair. He stays bent at the waist so his face is still in view of the camera. 

_“Sorry I don’t have a thong to show you, Roach.”_

Gary huffs out a laugh, his hazel eyes twinkling with the playful banter. 

“What a shame~.” Gary echoes Ghost’s sentiment from a few moments ago before he stands. Only his lower half is in view of the camera, but Gary situates the camera so it’s pointed more towards his groin. 

“Did you think about me last night? After we spoke.” Gary’s question is innocently curious as he turns to present his backside to the camera. He hooks his thumbs in the waistband of his sleep shorts, tugging down on them just an inch. Gary checks over his shoulder, first checking his own cam and how his ass looks before he glimpses up to Ghost’s feed. 

_“I think about you every night, love.”_

Gary rolls his eyes as he staves off the blush that prickles hot under his cheeks. 

“I _mean_ did you think about what I was wearing?” Gary huffs out an annoyed breath. 

_“Aw, am I frustrating you?”_ Ghost’s mockingly sarcastic. He clearly feels like he has the upper hand again, so Gary cuts him off before he can continue. 

Gary pushes his sleep shorts down completely, letting the fabric fall down his thighs and pool around his ankles. 

Ghost’s voice cuts off abruptly and Gary just _smirks._

“Wow, Simon Riley finally not having a smart comeback? I’m disappointed.” Gary pouts, making it evident in his exaggerated sad tone. 

_“Well, Roach…”_ Ghost doesn’t finish that sentence since Gary lifts up his stretched-out sleep shirt, fully revealing his backside. All for Ghost’s viewing. 

Nothing but Gary’s soft, round ass in a pair of lace black panties. Tanned skin, with cute tan lines, and some scars here and there from missions. Ghost could probably tell which scar is from which mission… having been through it all with Gary.

“You’re speechless,” Gary laughs cutely in disbelief. “And all it took was my ass.” 

_“It’s…”_ Ghost takes a moment to swallow. _“It’s a nice ass.”_

“Thanks,” Gary replies perkily, “But I’m showing you my cute underwear, not my ass.” 

_“Right,”_ Ghost deadpans, knowing full well what Gary is up to. _“Real cute, Roach.”_

“You think?” Gary’s pushing the envelope here, but he’s just having so much fun he can’t help it. He wiggles his butt back and forth cutely before he laughs at himself. Maybe he’s being a bit much. 

_“Sanderson, is this some sort of payback? Somehow this feels like a punishment.”_ Ghost slips a hand under his mask to scratch at his stubble. 

Gary snorts as he lets the shirt fall back down to his waist, where it hides the thong but not the curve of his ass. He turns and sits back down in his chair before he faces Ghost. 

“If it was a punishment, you’d know.” Gary says with a pointed look. 

_“Well, what else am I to do other than suffer?”_

“Aw,” Gary gives Ghost a mocking pout. “Hm, I don’t know. You’ve got my pictures… or video calls... or phone calls at your disposal. And a room all to yourself…” 

_“I’m not going to wank in the office, Roach.”_

Gary sputters at that, laughing incredulously at Ghost’s words. “I meant your bedroom, pervert.” 

_“So you’re giving me the greenlight to… use your pictures?”_ Ghost’s question is adorably innocent and awkward. But Gary blushes, since what they’re talking about is far from innocent. 

Gary shrugs playfully. “Like you said before. For your viewing pleasure _only_ … and I have to say, I didn’t think you’d be so honorable about this.” 

Ghost exhales and Gary just _knows_ he’s rolling his eyes behind his glasses. 

_“It’s a thing called integrity, sweetheart.”_

Gary shakes his head at Ghost’s answer, “Jerking off to someone doesn’t make you a bad person.” 

Ghost sits forward in his chair, fully focused on where this is going. He places his arms on the desk before he leans into the camera - with a lifted brow, Gary’s sure. 

_“It sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”_ Ghost is positively smug, like he’s the cat and Gary’s the canary caught between his teeth. 

Gary’s lips part but a defense fails to come, so of course Ghost only grows more cocky. He leans back in his chair, locking his hands behind his head. For the first time, Gary’s glad that Ghost has the mask on since there’s no way Gary would survive Ghost’s smug smile. 

_“Sanderson, I’m surprised.”_

“I didn’t say anything,” Gary interjects with a face as red as a beet. 

Ghost’s laugh is gorgeous and _happy_ , with his head tilting back as he reaches to lay his hands over his stomach. He sits up again so he can properly see Gary’s flush. 

_“Didn’t need to, love. I see it all over your face... Who, Roach? Who were you thinking of?”_ Ghost’s tone turns serious, as if he’s not sure he wants to know the answer. 

Gary averts his eyes to the ceiling as he simmers in his embarrassment. 

“I thought it was all over my face.” He shoots back before his eyes flit back to Ghost on the screen. 

_“Tell me.”_

“You,” Gary bursts out, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Stop putting this on me. We’re talking about you-” 

_“I want to know what we did in your little fantasy.”_ Ghost pushes in a voice so sexy that Gary has to fight off a whine. He’s already half hard and it won't’ take long for Ghost to get him fully there. 

“Absolutely not.” Roach shakes his head. “You can leave that up to your imagination.” 

_“Why are you getting shy? You just stripped for me but talking about what you want me to do to you is too far?”_

“Don’t-” Gary places his face in his hand, feeling the heat radiating from his face against his palms. He’s so _hot_ and Simon talking like that isn’t helping. All of the confidence Gary built up is quickly dwindling with Simon’s playfulness shining through. “Don’t say it like that, Simon. For fuck’s sake.” 

_“You’re adorable.”_ Ghost says with a smile in his voice. 

“Shut up.” Gary groans as he comes out from hiding. 

Ghost’s head swivels towards the direction of the office door, so Gary strains his ears and listens. He can hear the sound of the door opening, and then MacTavish’s heavy steps as he enters the room. Oblivious to what he’s walking in on. 

_“Oi, you’re still talking to Roach? Sorry, mate.”_

_“Yeah, you look real sorry.”_ Ghost bites back but with no heat. _“MacTavish, chew your damn food.”_

_“Stop naggin’.”_ Soap shoots back just as easily. Bickering with each other, at this point, comes naturally. Gary can hear Soap walk over and then his Captain bends over to put his face in view of the camera. He’s got crumbs in his stubble, and his cheeks full of food. 

_“Roach, stop letting this numpty keep you up. Go to bed already.”_ MacTavish lifts a dry cookie to his mouth and finishes it in one messy bite. He straightens up, and rather childishly, brushes his crumbs off on Ghost’s sleeve. 

_“Are you done?”_ Ghost turns to look up at MacTavish. 

_“Yep,”_ MacTavish turns back to the camera. _“I’ll leave you both to it.”_ MacTavish turns to leave the room, but gives one last parting statement before he goes. _“Oh, and tell Roach I hope he finds his pants.”_

Gary’s mouth falls open and Ghost just stares while the sound of the door closing is heard. There’s a beat of silence before Ghost’s head swivels back in Gary’s direction. 

_“That’s your fault. I can still see your ass at the corner of the screen.”_

“My fault?!” Gary laughs through his disbelief. “I didn’t know you could still see. You should have told me.” 

_“I liked the view.”_

Gary scoffs at Ghost’s admission. “Then it’s both of our faults.” 

_“He’s not going to let me live this down. You know that, right?”_ Ghost glides a hand to the back of his neck, massaging his tense muscles. 

“That’s your problem,” Gary cracks a smile when Ghost groans. “I’ll let you deal with that. I’m going to go shower.” 

Ghost lifts his head, with a hand still pressed to the top of his spine. His shoulders are broad, and his chest is defined so well in his black shirt. Gary’s not sure how _he’s_ the one in a pair of panties, yet something feels sexier about Ghost’s outfit. 

_“Alright, princess. Sleep well.”_

“Goodnight, Ghost.” Gary bites down on his bottom lip to prevent himself from beaming too proudly. He ends the call, feeling _good._ He’s warm, and hard, and his heart is racing from his and Simon’s flirting. 

It takes a few minutes for Gary to recover, and even then he hasn’t _fully_ recuperated. Gary’s not sure what to blame it on… why he feels so giddy, that is. Is it because he likes Ghost…? He _really_ likes Ghost, too. Or is it because Gary’s never done this with someone before. Is he just experiencing a thrill from something new? 

Maybe it’s a mix of both… or maybe it’s because it’s Simon. Simon makes him feel like this…

Gary exhales through his nose as he pushes up from the chair and makes his way to the bathroom. He’s all worked up with nowhere to go so… maybe he’ll take some special care of himself. Cumming seems like a good way to end the night. 

... but then Gary starts to think about how Ghost would get him to cum. Ghost had asked him what fantasies Gary had thought up, but even Gary thinks those ‘fantasies’ he had were vanilla. He’d dreamt of Ghost pressed against him, in between his legs. And the other time… when Gary was awake and in control of his fantasies, well, Gary imagined presenting himself for Ghost to claim. 

The memory sends a shiver down Gary’s spine. He wonders if Ghost would… if he’d fuck Gary as hard as Gary would beg him to. 

Gary bites down on his bottom lip as the daydream plays out in his mind, only to come to the realization of one thing. 

Gary wants to be fucked. He wants Ghost inside of him… wants to feel full of Ghost’s cock. But Gary’s never bothered to explore his ass before - God, Gary blushes at the thought. 

He remembers a talk back on base, where the men had started off talking about porn. Gary never was a fan of those explicit talks his soldiers indulged in so frequently. They were always filthy and too descriptive, but Gary remembers one conversation in particular. The room had been divided once it was brought up.

Pegging. 

He remembers the men talking about letting women fuck them, actually penetrating them to reach their climax. And while some were for it, even some having tried it already, some were against it. Whether it was pride or simply not their thing, Gary wasn’t sure. But he remembers the talk about what it felt like. And that it felt _good._

Gary decides he should google it. He’s not sure he should trust everything the men in the one-four-one say without some of his own research first.

Gary sits on the edge of the tub, knees drawn together and his phone out front of him. He supposes he should probably be embarrassed that he’s googling how gay sex works, but then again he has to start somewhere. Right? 

Regardless, Gary has a good idea on how to start. The only problem is that… every article stresses the importance of lube and that’s _definitely_ not something that Gary just has at his disposal. There are a few suggestions the article gives: _olive oil, vaseline, or, if you’re really desperate, spit._

Gary bites down on his lower lip as he tries to think… he really doesn’t want to steal the olive oil in the kitchen. That feels _wrong._ So he moves to his bathroom cabinet hoping that there’s a case of vaseline hidden in there somewhere. 

Gary has to get down on his hands and knees, and has to reach to the far back of the cabinet, but there’s vaseline. An old container that was shoved so far back that it was probably forgotten about. It hasn’t even been opened… The oily surface is undisturbed. 

A hot flush of embarrassment and arousal causes Gary’s cheeks to turn red. He sits on his knees, on the bathroom floor, it's not even seven o'clock, trying to decide if this is something he should really do. He’s never been very explorational when it came to getting off… but with all this time on his hands he can’t see a reason not to. 

Gary rises to his feet, refusing to look at himself in the mirror right now. He has too much shame and will end up backing out if he over thinks this. 

So Gary places his back to the mirror before he takes his first two fingers and scoops up a generous amount of vaseline. At this point, it’s all up to him to figure this out. The article kind of ends there, other than explaining what Gary should be looking for… what will make this all worth it.

Gary places the vaseline down on the counter, then uses his free hand to push his underwear down to his ankles. He kicks them off to the side, then hikes up his shirt, but when it keeps falling down Gary decides to just bite on it to keep it up. 

He grabs one cheek with his free hand, spreading himself. The cool air against his ass has Gary turning even redder, but he’s committed at this point. 

Gary presses the tip of his first finger to his rim, probing genty past the tight ring of muscle. He tests himself, just thrusting the tip of his finger in slowly… back and forth. It’s uncomfortable, and not the instant pleasure that Gary was kind of assuming he’d get… But he’s determined now, so he slides his first finger in until he’s down to his knuckle. 

“Fuck,” Gary’s brows draw together, focusing on working with the girth of his finger before he moves on to a second. Gary slides his finger out, then pushes it back in harder than before, and then Gary feels it - understands the appeal to this all. It’s a burst, a pleasure so sudden that Gary’s knees shake and his jaw goes slack. 

And then Gary wants _more._

He turns around, jumping up on the edge of the counter just so he can hike up his knees and spread his legs for better access. He’s got his head against the mirror and his hands between his legs. 

The second finger gives more resistance. Gary might be moving quicker than he should, but he’s never felt so _desperate_ before. He works himself open, pumping and searching for that _special spot_ the article kept referencing. It takes some maneuvering; Gary stretches out his left leg, lifting his foot high into the air with his toes curled, and he has to twist his wrist just slightly-

Gary gasps, hips jerking involuntarily from the pleasure that courses through him. It’s safe to say he found it. And he doesn’t stop there. He curls his fingers in and out repeatedly, speeding up his rhythm. His palm slaps against his ass, filling the room with filthy noises as he gets closer to his climax. 

Gary reaches down to take his cock in hand, finally jerking himself at the same speed that he’s fingering himself with. Seconds. It only takes seconds for Gary to spill all over his knuckles and stomach. His warm cum dribbles down his chest, gliding down his abs, with each shot that comes out of his cock. He doesn’t think he’s ever cummed this much before…

Gary breathes through it once his aftershocks come to a stop. He pulls his fingers out of his hole, feeling _oddly_ empty. It’s a foreign feeling, but Gary liked having his warm fingers pressed against his walls… 

He jumps off the counter, staring at the mess he made of himself. Covered in cum, with his ass cheeks red and his skin glistening with sweat. Gary barely recognizes himself, what with the blown pupils and bitten-red lips. The image of himself standing in front of the mirror is lewd, to say the least, and Gary blushes as he turns away. 

He works on autopilot, turning on the shower, waiting for the water to get hot, and then washing away all of the evidence. Part of him feels oddly guilty at having done something so filthy in his childhood home, yet… Gary orgasmed in a way he’s never felt before and he already knows he wants to do it again. So, self-discovery is encouraged. Right?

Gary finishes showering, but spends a few extra seconds under the hot spray of water. His muscles are relaxed… he’s comfortably tired… and he feels _warm_ all over. God, he feels good. It takes some self-convincing to turn off the water, but he manages. He towels off, then moves to his bed before he plops down, still dressed down to only his towel. 

Gary stares at his phone… and stares until the voice inside his head wins. He grabs the device and opens up his text messages between himself and Ghost. Gary’s not an impulsive person, quite the opposite really. But this is one of the few times that Gary does something without thinking. He writes the message and then hits send before he can take it back. 

_[7:33PM]_

_Still want to know what I want you to do to me?_

Gary stares at the text, feeling the first bolt of panic hit him in the chest. He reads the words over and over again until Ghost’s response comes in. Luckily, Gary only has to wait a few seconds.

_Unknown Number [7:33PM]_

_Do you want to tell me?_

_[7:34PM]_

_Yes or no, Riley._

_Unknown Number [7:34PM]_

_Yes, princess. Tell me._

_[7:35PM]_

_Are you going to let MacTavish see these?_

_Unknown Number [7:35PM]_

_I’d never do that to you, love._

Gary’s heart skips a beat at Ghost’s text message.

_[7:36PM]_

_I want you to kiss me._

_[7:36PM]_

_And bite me. You know, I’ve never had a hickey before…_

_Unknown Number [7:36PM]_

_We can change that._

_[7:37PM]_

_I’ve never had anyone finger me before either. Would you do that for me?_

_Unknown Number [7:37PM]_

_I’d like to._

_[7:38PM]_

_What else would you like to do to me?_

_Unknown Number [2:39AM]_

_Fucking hell, Roach. You’re lucky you’re on the other side of the world right now._

_[7:40PM]_

_Lucky isn’t the word I would use._

_Unknown Number [7:41PM]_

_Then I’m lucky you’re on the other side of the world right now._

Gary bites down on his bottom lip as a smirk consumes him. God, the way his body is _tingling_ just from Ghost’s texts. It’s unbelievable how much Gary’s turned on by him. 

_[7:43PM]_

_You don’t know what you do to me either, Simon._

_[7:43PM]_

_Get some sleep._

_Unknown Number [7:44PM]_

_[Image]_

_Unknown Number [7:45PM]_

_I can’t stop staring at this picture._

Gary opens the file, curious as to what picture (out of the _many_ that Madilyn sent him) has captured Ghost’s interest. 

It’s of Gary, right after they made it back inside after it started raining. His wet shirt is soaked through, mostly hanging off of his chest at this point. The light in the room causes his skin to glisten, and Gary’s cheeks are red from the alcohol and the running. Gary’s eyes are alight and twinkling, with a crooked smile. Gary thinks he remembers this… Grant was the one that made him laugh, he knows that, but the rest of the details are foggy. The lace ribbon still sits snugly around his throat, and his thighs are _very_ present in this picture. Muscled and curvy under the black latex.

Gary blushes, shaking his head at Ghost’s message. 

_[7:48PM]_

_Those pants were a nightmare to take off._

_Unknown Number [7:49PM]_

_I would have had them off you in seconds._

Gary snorts at the message, feeling a wave of heat course through him just _imagining_ that. 

_[7:50PM]_

_Too bad you weren’t there._

_Unknown Number [7:51PM]_

_Pack them for when you come back to me._

_For when you come back to me._ That statement has Gary’s heart racing in his chest. The text is so intimate… and all Gary wants right now is to be there with Ghost. 

_[7:52PM]_

_I hope I can come back soon._

_Unknown Number [7:53PM]_

_It’ll be sooner than you think, bug. Spend as much time with your family as you can._

_Unknown Number [7:53PM]_

_Your birthday is coming up. Something tells me Madilyn might have something planned._

Gary laughs at the message. Yeah… Madilyn did include a surprise birthday on her reminder list. 

_[7:55PM]_

_I will. I promise._

_[7:56PM]_

_Get some sleep already. I don’t want to be the reason why you’re tired tomorrow._

_Unknown Number [7:57PM]_

_Yes, love. You’ll hear from me soon. Goodnight._

Love. Gary’s getting awfully fond of that term of endearment, and part of him regrets all of the times he took it for granted when Ghost called him such. 

_[7:59PM]_

_Goodnight, Simon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter!! Also, 2000 hits!! Thanks to everyone out there reading this story : )


	16. More Than You Know

Gary wakes up on Friday morning with an odd sense of dread creeping into his bones. It’s his birthday… but even just thinking about the day’s events is exhausting him. He knows that Madilyn’s going to set up his party whenever she comes over, and Gary will play clueless even though they both know he’s fully aware of what she’s doing. 

His mom is going to be babying him all day… his dad will pull Gary off to the side to have a talk about how proud he is. Grant and Graham are going to coo over him and call him ‘baby brother’ all day. Emma and Becca will be the most palatable, but even then he knows they’ll find a way to tease him. 

Gary doesn’t mean to sound ungrateful. He simply doesn’t want the attention on him. He never has, but it’s his birthday and he can’t escape it. 

So he wakes up, puts on an old pair of jeans that’s missing one back pocket, and has a hole in the left knee. An old t-shirt follows, and Gary decides that he’ll throw an old flannel on top as well, considering there’s a slight breeze now that the seasons are starting to change. And he knows he’s going to get kicked out of the house fairly soon so Madilyn can set up. 

He pads downstairs, a wad of socks in his hand so he can put them on while he sits at the table. 

His mother greets him first, an apron around her waist and a small spot of flour in her hairline. It makes Gary chuckle, a noise that surprises him when it bubbles up from his throat. He accepts the kiss on the cheek his mother gives him, then reaches over to brush the flour out of her hair gently. It makes Gary think of his childhood; where his mother would spend all night making food for her kids and their elementary classes. Snack day. Gary remembers it with a smirk. 

“I know I look like a mess,” his mother waves Gary off as she moves back to the counter. She’s making his birthday cake, he knows this but doesn’t bring it up since he knows his mother will only shush him. 

“You look wonderful, ma,” Gary replies easily, the term of endearment slipping easily off of his tongue. He hasn’t called her that since he was little. Every now and then he’ll hear Graham or Grant throw in the term when they’re trying to get out of trouble… but most of the Sandersons have grown out of it. 

The smile on his mom’s face makes Gary wish he’d call her ma more often. She looks so content that Gary actually feels a warmth blossom in his chest. 

“I’ve got eggs on the stove,” she says, as if Gary can’t smell them already. His stomach growls, noting the bacon and sausage she also has cooking. “But if you want to eat some fruit while it cooks I won’t yell at you, birthday boy.” 

Gary shares his mom’s conspiratory glance before he gets up and picks at a bowl of berries she has set off to the side. Fresh blackberries and raspberries that Gary knows his mom got off the bush in the backyard. 

“Mmm,” Gary hums happily, taking a greedy handful and throwing the berries into his mouth. It stains his fingertips purple. 

His mom stops stirring the cake batter to watch Gary, a fond smile on her face. Twisted with sadness though. It makes Gary frown. 

“What’s wrong, mom?” Gary asks, his cheeks full of fruit. 

“Nothing, dear,” she assures him with a calming tone. She reaches out to pat his full cheek before she goes back to stirring the batter. “I just remember that time you and Emma got into my blackberries. You two were stained purple for days.” She shakes her head and laughs airily. 

Silence falls between them, nothing uncomfortable. But Gary can tell his mom is in an odd mood. She seems frail, wrapping her sun-spotted hands around the wooden stick as she stirs the batter meticulously. He’s not sure he wants to bring it up though, since he has an odd feeling that his mom is going to ask him to stay. Not to leave. And Gary could never honor that. 

His mom takes the eggs off the stove, then the bacon and sausage. She prepares two plates, and Gary’s relieved to see that she’s leaving the cake batter behind for now. She sits down at the table with Gary, handing him a fork followed by his plate. 

“Thanks,” Gary grins at her, and earns a wink back from his mother. 

She sits at the head of the table, closing her eyes for a moment. Gary knows that look. A silent prayer is going on inside her head. He’s seen his mother do this countless times, but for some reason it makes Gary’s blood turn cold. It makes him think of his soldiers, who’ve done the same thing, brows knitted together and their lips moving silently as they pray in the middle of war. 

Gary turns his eyes down to his plate. But this isn’t war. He’s home. Sat in front of a plate of his mother’s cooking. He shouldn’t think about those things, not at a time like this. He’ll be back before he knows it, so he needs to focus on the here and now. 

Gary digs in, enjoying a bite of fresh scrambled eggs before he indulges in the bacon. He hums appreciatively, giving his mom a knowing look. She just laughs. 

“You don’t get good cooking like this while you’re away, huh?” She says, reaching for the jar of strawberry jelly. 

“Definitely not,” Gary smiles. “Thanks for breakfast, ma.” 

Her smile from earlier returns. Proud this time. “You’re very welcome, dear. Happy birthday.”

This time, when things get quiet, Gary doesn’t feel like he’s avoiding some unspoken issue. He feels content and not worried that his mother has something on her mind. They enjoy their breakfast together, and when that’s gone his mother pours them each a cup of hot coffee, making sure to bring over creamer and sugar for Gary. 

“I know you like to mask the bitterness.” She sits back in her worn kitchen chair, bringing her plain black coffee to her lips. 

Gary shakes his head, thinking about Ghost and Soap. They like their coffee black too. “You know me well,” Gary grins as he adds just enough creamer and sugar for his coffee to turn a rich, creamy brown. 

They, again, fall quiet. They’re both tired, Gary realizes. He can see it in his mother’s eyes, and judging by the way she’s looking at him, she knows that Gary’s just as exhausted. Over different things, surely. But Gary feels the niggling sense of guilt that she’s been losing sleep over him. 

That feeling - that tenseness - that his mother wants to say something returns. 

His mother parts her lips, before she closes them. Gary decides he’ll let her say whatever she needs to, when she’s ready. He doesn’t want to leave without her saying what’s on her mind. Since Gary’s not sure she’ll get a chance to tell him after he leaves. His job is unpredictable and dangerous - an understatement, of course - but he doesn’t want to die without his mom getting to say her piece. 

“Honey,” she begins, setting her coffee cup down. She does keep her hands wrapped around the ceramic, stroking her thumb idly down the side of it. “It’s been about six months since you came back.” 

She looks at Gary like she’s expecting an answer, so he nods and says, “Yes, ma’am.” 

“Your dad and I have really enjoyed having you back, dear. More than you know.” 

Gary doesn’t want to know. He knows how much it hurts his parents that Gary’s gone for years at a time. He knows that he causes that pain and there’s nothing he can do about it now. Pushing them away didn’t work, and that was a foolish, selfish effort. But now that they’ve had Gary for so long… he worries what will happen when he’s gone. 

“Your siblings too. Gary, I haven’t seen Emma smile so much in years. She worries about you so much. We all do.” 

Gary swallows around a lump that’s building in his throat. He just feels awkward, and he’s not sure what his mom is getting at. She’s looking at him though, with hazel eyes that Gary inherited from her, as if Gary should know what she’s saying. 

“I’m sorry,” Gary replies, hearing how tense he sounds. “I know that me being away isn’t easy-”

“Honey,” she butts in, a smile crook to her smile. She reaches out to lay her hand over Gary’s, squeezing his fingers. “We don’t blame you. You’ve walked around here these last few months looking so _sorry,_ all the time. I wish you’d stop that.” 

Gary opens his mouth, but stops. He’s _felt_ sorry a lot. So it’s not like he can argue his mother’s words. But it’s hard not to feel… feel… Gary’s not sure. He doesn’t feel blamed. But he does feel at fault for his family’s distress. Their worry and concern that they’re wasting on him. 

“Okay, mom.” Gary decides on, giving her a pursed smile. “I’ll stop.” 

“We love you. And I want you to know that whenever you’re done with the military, you’ve got us. This place. The farm. You’re only twenty-eight, sweetie. You act like your life is almost over and that scares me.” 

Gary thinks two things simultaneously. _It scares him too_ and _He’s cheated death so many times that he’s waiting for it any day_. The lifespan of a special ops soldier in the 141 isn’t very long. But he would never tell his mom that. Never. 

“I don’t ask you much about your job because I know there’s only so much you can tell me… Plus, I’m a selfish old woman who doesn’t want you missing work while you’re here with us. But you have people there, right?” His mother looks hesitant, guarded as she tilts her head towards Gary. 

“Yes?” Gary says unsurely. 

“I mean, people who care about you.” She tries to explain, laughing gently. “You’re not alone, right, Gar? I get so worried about you being all alone…” 

This brings a genuine smile to Gary’s face. He squeezes her hand and nods. “Yes, mom. I’m not alone.”

Gary sees the way she exhales, sagging in relief as soon as Gary tells her that. She has to put her forehead in her hand, taking another deep breath before she nods. Her boney fingers squeeze Gary’s again before she lets go. 

“Good.” She sits back, bringing her mug with her. “I’d love to meet them one day, dear.” 

“One day,” Gary echoes, his eyes getting lost into his mug. “Hopefully.” 

She smiles at that, naively happy that Gary would consider letting his parents meet his fellow soldiers. 

Madilyn shows up half an hour later, with mysterious brown paper bags that she clutches dangerously close to her chest when she sees Gary. She glowers at him at first, as if she’s trying to gauge whether he’s going to try and spoil the party decorations, but then she relaxes and sets the decorations down behind the wall before she joins her mom and Gary at the table. 

“Good morning you two,” she greets with a breathy smile. Her hair is still wet, but thrown up in a bun, and she smells minty. She must have just gotten around before she hurried over. It’s not even noon yet, but Gary knows he’s going to be exiled for a while. The party is at three, so Madilyn will take up all the time she can to decorate. 

“Morning, sweetie,” their mother grins before she slaps the back of Madilyn’s hand in greeting. “There’s food on the stove and coffee in the pot.” 

“Mmm.” Madilyn stands and makes her way over to the coffee first. She gets out an old mug that’s been in the cabinet since they were in diapers before filling it to the brim. She takes two long sips before setting it back down. “That’s the good stuff.” 

Their mother laughs heartily when she sees Gary’s face of disgust. Madilyn seems to know what’s happening since she doesn’t even look over her shoulder. She gathers a plate before she says, “Gary, don’t look at me like that. You and Becca are the weak ones who can’t handle black coffee.” 

Gary scoffs, offended. 

“Who’s the birthday boy again?” Gary questions, because he can, and will, hold that over their heads today. His mother’s already amused at him playing that card, sitting back with a pleased smile on her face. 

“Oh!” Madilyn sarcastically replies, spinning around and giving Gary wide eyes. “I completely forgot!” She rushes over to Gary’s side, giving him a rough and strong hug. Specifically hugging Gary around the neck - or more like choking him - before she pulls back. “Happy birthday, Gar!” She shouts. 

Gary glowers at her, lifting his mug and taking a sip from his creamy coffee. 

Madilyn laughs and returns to her plate. She stacks it full of eggs, sausage, bacon, even reaches into the fridge to grab out butter for the bread their mother set on the table. She takes the seat opposite from Gary, with their mother at the head of the table. The silence is companionable, up until Madilyn’s done eating. 

It’s almost noon when she looks at Gary, over her empty plate, and says, “Get out.” 

“Maddie,” their mother groans, clearly disagreeing with Madilyn’s tone. She’s amused though, Gary can tell by the way she hides her smirk into her coffee. 

“ _Please_ get out.” Madilyn corrects, giving Gary a grin that reminds him of her wicked childhood years. When she was missing her two front teeth and was always covered in dirt. Not that Gary was any different. 

“Fine. Fine” Gary stands, putting his hands up and palms out in surrender. He slips his socks on one by one before he makes his way to the door. “I’m going to be gone for three hours,” Gary announces as he puts his boots on. “And then there’s nothing you can do to keep me away.” 

“Give or take,” his mother asks, or demands, Gary’s not sure. “The cake will need to cool.” 

Gary shakes his head, letting it fall back on his shoulders to show his suffering. “Very well,” he retorts dryly. “I’ll spend my birthday out in the fields.” 

“You could always go take my car!” Madilyn offers, snatching up the paper bags and catching Gary’s gaze in the meantime. 

Gary scoffs, as if the offer is outlandish, but truly he only does it to make Madilyn glower. He cracks and ends up laughing, waving Madilyn off. “I’ll be fine, Mads. Be back in a few.” 

Gary swipes up his phone and a jacket before he leaves, just in case the weather turns sour. There wasn’t any rain on the weather forecast, but the sky is overcast and the air is uncomfortably humid, but not hot. Just a thickness to the air, and a breeze that rustles the leaves. 

He starts first in the orchard. He picks himself an apple, and then another half an hour later. The old cores get thrown to the ground, near the base of the tree, to rot and return nutrition to the earth. Gary brushes his hands off on his jeans, not enjoying the way that the apple juice has made the pads of his fingers sticky. 

Gary takes a slow walk towards the back of his family’s land, where there’s an overgrown pond. Gary used to keep the weeds trimmed, and the grass cut, just so he could come out and sit at the edge of the water. It was his own little place of solitude, which explains why it’s overgrown now, a mess of weeds, and cattails, and swampy ground that Gary can’t walk through. 

He stares at it, feeling a wave of disappointment course through him. Part of him is selfishly wishing someone in his family had cared enough to keep the area clean. But he knows it’s not fair to have expected that out of them. That doesn’t stop the disappointment, a cold wave of prickles that run down his shoulders and into his chest, from spreading. 

Gary walks past, avoiding looking at his once safe haven. He keeps walking, and keeps walking, until he finds a hill with long grass softly blowing in the wind. Apparently there’s just enough wind to have dried the dew from the thin blades of grass. So Gary sits down, knees drawn up, and planting his hands back into the earth. He stares out at the farm, letting the gentle wind rustle his golden locks. 

He stays there for as long as he can, since the cool breeze brings realization to the forefront of his mind. Gary’s not going to be here for much longer, so he needs to cherish the little bit of time he has left. He lays back then, eyes on the thick clouds that pass overhead.

Gary closes his eyes for what feels like a few minutes, but he knows he fell asleep when he startles at the gentle buzzing in his pocket. 

Gary pushes himself up on his elbows speedily, first noticing how _cold_ he is before the buzzing reminds him why he woke up in the first place. Gary presses his palms into the matted down grass, sitting up so he can pull his phone out of his pocket. 

He stares at the screen, waiting for his brain to catch up. But he’s only more confused when he sees that it’s Ghost calling. The unknown number is far more familiar than any other contact Gary has in his phone. 

He answers it, feeling panic swell in his chest. 

“Ghost? Are you okay?” Gary croaks out, rubbing at one eye with his free hand. “What’s going on?” 

Simon laughs gently on the other end of the call, warm and calming. _“Settle down, bug. Everything’s okay. Why do you sound like you just woke up?”_

Gary exhales, most of his panic expelling from his body with that breath. The hand he used to rub at his eye now glides through his hair, pushing his shaggy blonde hair off his forehead. His hair is tangled from sleeping in the grass, and the wind that seems to have picked up. 

“I was taking a nap,” Gary says sheepishly. His hand falls to his lap and Gary realizes he’s pouting. He tries to wipe that look off his face. Key word: tries. 

_“On your birthday? Happy birthday, by the way.”_

Gary grins, just one corner of his mouth pulling up fondly. “Thank you. And I was kicked out so they can decorate for my surprise birthday party.”

_“I hope you’re surprised,”_ Ghost says, tongue-in-cheek. 

“I will be,” Gary promises, his voice horribly sweet and still gravelly from sleep. “What are you doing up?”

_“I’m actually calling with news,”_ Ghost begins. His tone alone has the hair on Gary’s arm standing up, and the panic returns. 

“Don’t leave me waiting…” Gary tries to joke, but it comes out tighter than he means to. 

_“You’re coming back to the task force.”_ Ghost forces the words out, sounding as if he expects Gary to object… but Gary smiles. Light and airy and relieved to finally be going _back-_

“Why do you sound like that’s a bad thing?” Gary questions the smile evident in his tone. 

_“Tomorrow, Gary. I couldn’t get them to push it back any further. I’ll tell you where and when soon, but you’re leaving tomorrow.”_

“Oh.” Gary says before he can stop himself. “That’s fast.” 

_“I’m sorry, Gary.”_

Gary blinks, then shakes his head. He’s just met with an unsettling emptiness. It’s probably going to take a while for that to set in. 

“Stop apologizing, Simon.” Gary scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Aren’t you excited to see me tomorrow?” 

_“More than you know.”_

The honest answer has heat rising to Gary’s cheeks, only reminding him of how _cold_ it is out here with the wind blowing around him. Which reminds him he should be getting back. He pulls his phone back, brows jumping up to see that he’s spent almost three hours sleeping in a field. 

“Shit. I have to go back. Call me later?” Gary pushes out of the grass and begins his journey back home. 

_“Don’t want to be late for your own party.”_ Ghost teases, and that lame joke alone makes the emptiness in Gary dissipate. He’s going to be back with Ghost tomorrow, where he belongs. With the task force… 

“Ghost?” 

_“Yes, Gary,”_ Ghost answers as if he’s exasperated, but Gary hears the fondness in his lieutenants voice. 

“I’m excited to see you too,” Gary huffs out, keeping his breathing as even as he can as he jogs back home. “I’ll see you soon.” 

_“Enjoy your birthday party, princess.”_ Ghost replies before the call ends. 

Gary laughs into the harsh wind, feeling refreshed, despite the news he has to drop on his family. That’s enough to bring his excitement back down. He can only imagine how hard it’s going to hit them. 

Tomorrow. They’ve had Gary for six months and he’s going to disappear in less than twenty-four hours for who knows how long again. 

He’s worrying that thought in his mind, chewing on it, tossing and turning it over and over. So he runs harder, pushes himself, sprints the rest of the way home until his lungs burn. It’s the worst conflict he’s ever experienced, knowing how happy he is to go back to the task force, yet how much it’s going to hurt seeing the disappointment on his family’s face. 

Gary grits his teeth as he jumps up the few stairs and onto the porch. It’s now or never. 

He pushes into the home, letting the screen door close behind him with a harsh clack. 

The conversation dies immediately and is replaced by loud screams and shouts all for Gary. 

“Happy birthday!” 

The _day_ is stretched out, long and joyous, and Gary can’t even plaster a smile on his face for the sake of his family. Wow, this is so much harder than he thought it’d be. 

Gary’s hand, the one carrying his phone, feels like it weighs a hundred pounds. He’s frozen in this moment, staring back at the excited smiles of his family. All there, surrounded by candle light, and balloons, and a cake. For Gary. He barely even registers their shouts of happy birthday… it falls on deaf ears, ringing far off in the recess of his mind. 

His family, all of his siblings, their spouses, his parents, notice quickly that something is off. Their smiles fall, and they glimpse at each other as someone knows what’s going on. 

Gary’s mom steps forward, pushing through the crowd of her children to reach out to Gary. 

“Honey, what’s wrong?” She asks, planting a hand on his arm. 

Gary tears his eyes away from the crowd, glimpsing over at his mother. Her soft smile, the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, her blonde hair now mixed with gray.   
  


All Gary can think to say is, “I’m leaving.”   
  


“Gary, what are you saying?”   
  


Gary’s heart beats in his chest - just like how it beats when their mission reaches that unbearable silence. Just before everything goes to shit.   
  


“Tomorrow,” Gary’s voice is low, dangerously close to breaking. “I’ve been called back to-” he pauses, unsure what to say. “Duty.”   
  


They all stare a while longer before Gary’s mom lets out a sob. She covers her mouth, which has scrunched together in pain, before she turns and hurries up the stairs. Gary steps forward, lips parting as he wants to call out to her. But nothing comes. There’s nothing he can say that will make this better. He feels awful, sick to his stomach, for how happy he felt just minutes ago.

He turns to the kitchen, seeing the drooping smiles and sad eyes of his siblings. Suddenly he’s thrown back to when he first left. Before he shipped off. Before bootcamp. He can see all of their youthful selves staring back at him. It’s like they’re kids again. As if he’s eighteen again. 

Gary’s dad breaks the silence, letting out a loud huff as he sits himself down in one of the kitchen chairs. It creaks as he leans back, his pot belly out in front of him. Carefully, he takes his hat off the top of his head and then hides his face in his hand. 

“Ten years,” his father says with a wobbly voice. He sniffles as he comes out from hiding in his hand. The area around his eyes is red and he blinks furiously to try and get rid of the tears threatening to spill over. “It’s been ten years since you first told us you were signing up.”

Becca’s lower lip wobbles as she comes over to place her hands on her father’s shoulders. She massages gently, and the old man reaches up to capture her hand in his. 

“I’m sorry,” Gary whispers, his hazel-green eyes sliding across his siblings. “I am.”  
  


Grant sniffles, ducking his head and rubbing at his nose. 

Graham gives Gary a sad smile but a nod. 

Emma’s the first one to show anger; holding her chin up higher, crossing her arms over her chest, and pretending her eyes aren’t shining with tears. 

“So, what? Is it going to be another five years until we see you again? Or longer this time?” Emma keeps her eyes on Gary expectantly, lifting a brow when he hesitates to answer. 

“I don’t know, Emma,” Gary says softly, understanding her anger and where it stems from. “My job-”   
  


“Yeah,” Emma bites back. “The job you can’t tell us anything about. So we just have to sit here and worry, wondering where the hell you are and if you’re okay. We don’t see you for years, we don’t hear from you for months. Does that not hurt you like it hurts us?”   
  


Gary lets out a low sigh, while Becca says, “Emma,” warningly. 

“No,” Gary waves Becca off with a crooked smile. “It’s okay. I haven’t been very forthcoming with information about my job. Even with information that I can share. I thought it’d be easier that way… but I was wrong. 

“I’m a sergeant. In a task force that I can’t tell you the name of. We work mostly on call… and do things that I can’t tell you about.” Gary pauses to let out an exasperated sigh. It’s frustrating for him too… not being able to tell them about such a huge part of his life. What his life _is_. The 141.

“I can do my job, even if it means not seeing my family for years, because I know you’re a little safer each time we-” Gary stops. He can’t finish that sentence. He ducks his head and closes his eyes. “I think about all of you guys every day, every night, every mission.”   
  


Graham’s the first one over, squeezing Gary in a tight hug. “Oh, my little brother is such a sap.”

Gary laughs as he’s forced into Graham’s shoulder. The disadvantage of being the shorter brother… 

Madilyn’s there next, and then Grant and Jasmine walk over together, then Becca followed by her husband Champ, and then Emma who’s tugged over by her husband Beau. And, finally, Gary’s dad is squeezing his children tightly, with his arms outstretched. Some tears are shared. Emma’s crying the hardest right behind her mother who’s still hidden upstairs. 

It dies off after a few minutes, and everyone’s able to breathe again. 

“Cake,” Gary’s dad demands as he hikes up his overalls. “Your mother will kill us if we don’t eat some of her cake.”

So everyone sits around the table, taking one slice each on a paper plate. Although the cake feels bland on their tongues… and their stomachs are all churning at the idea of losing Gary again. Regardless, they try. For their mom. 

When the cake is finished, and everyone turns to silence, Gary speaks up. 

“Jeez, you guys. I’ll be back.” Gary promises, reaching out to grab Madilyn’s hand since it’s the closest. She perks up, lifting her gaze to Gary’s. It turns from sad to mischievous, so fiercely Madilyn. 

“You better,” Becca says strongly, reaching out to clap her hand on top of Gary’s. Grant’s goes next, followed by Graham’s, then Champ’s, then Beau’s, then Gary’s father. 

Emma’s the only one left, staring at their conjoined hands with teary eyes, and her mouth scrunched to once side. Her hands are crossed over her thin torso, but finally she ducks her head, closes her eyes, and reaches out to put her hand on top. 

Gary lets out a shaky laugh, placing his remaining hand on top of everyone else's. It ends in a hug, heads all piled together, squeezing one another so tight it’s hard to breathe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the slow update. Updates will still be slow. I have so much of this story written out but also a lot of gaps to fill in. Thanks for reading! This was also quickly read through so sorry for any mistakes.


	17. Until Next Time

Gary pads down the stairs as silently as he can manage, bare-footed, and cautiously avoiding the creaky parts of the staircase he learned growing up. They all needed to be careful when sneaking out or back in as kids, whether it was just a night of them staying up too late and playing video games, or if they were sneaking back in from a night out. 

It’s only six, so the sky is just beginning to lighten. It’s a dark blue when Gary pushes out onto the porch in his thin t-shirt and worn jeans. The morning air is cold against his skin, biting at the tips of his toes and fingers. Gary knows it’ll warm up soon with the sunrise. 

He stands here, in the middle of the porch, staring across the driveway to the thousands of apple trees that spread across the farm, memories flashing behind his eyes but never allowing himself time to dwell on those thoughts. He’s not the reminiscent kind, and he doesn't want to start when he’s about to leave. 

“Good morning,”  
  


The sound of his mother’s sleep-raspy voice surprises Gary, but not enough to make him jump. Not much has that effect on him any longer. But his head does swivel to the side, glimpsing over to where his mother sits on the porch swing. She’s dressed in a pair of sweats, and some slippers which have seen better days. A quilt, which has been in their house for as long as Gary can remember, is draped over her shoulders. And, most comfortably, she has a warm mug in between her hands, where steam curls up and up before it disappears. 

“Morning,” Gary replies, hearing the rigidity in his own voice. He doesn’t want to say the wrong thing, and he especially does not want to make his mother cry. 

She picks up on it _immediately_ because she’s his mom and she knows her kids. She's a great mother like that. She huffs out a tired laugh before she pats the open space next to her. 

“Relax. Come swing,” she asks, scooting over another inch even though Gary has plenty of room. 

He grins, twisted with sadness, but walks over and plops down beside her. Gary lifts his arm around the back of the swing, around his mother’s shoulders, and gives her a squeeze. She was the one asking him to relax, but he realizes how tense she was the second she melts into the touch. 

“I’ll be okay, ma,” Gary gives her a lie in the shape of a promise. Gives her false hope. He can’t promise her this, and his wise mother knows that. 

One hand vacates her warm cup to rest on Gary’s knee instead, patting three times before she grips onto the cup again. She doesn’t answer, doesn’t acknowledge Gary’s words, which is good. Gary doesn’t want to think his mom believes him. But he wants to try, he wants to be okay for her. For his family. 

They sit for thirty minutes out on the swing, and as Gary predicted, the air gets warmer. His mother sheds the blanket, letting it fall around her waist, and the warm cup of tea gets set down on the porch after she’s emptied it. 

Another thirty minutes pass before the sky transforms to orange, warm, inviting. It matches neither of their moods. 

“I have to leave soon,” Gary tells her. He hates to be the one, but he only has half an hour before he has to head out to the address he was texted last night. He knows where it is. An abandoned air strip that’s two hours away. 

A heavy sigh leaves his mother, her gaze dropping down to the worn wood of the porch. She takes another breath before she stands, and Gary matches her, his actions slower than hers. They turn to face each other, eyes locking. Gary’s not much taller than his mother, he notices. She always stands tall, chin lifted, and proud. 

“You’ll be okay,” she says before she encompasses him in a hug, arms around his waist and squeezing him tightly. 

Gary smirks into her shoulder, her hair tickling his nose. He knows she’s repeating his words back at him, that they’re attempting to be strong for each other. 

They pull apart moments later when they hear the sound of tires on gravel. It’s Madilyn’s Honda coming into view, with the sound of her music thumping louder the closer she gets. 

He and his mother turn to watch with matching fond smiles as she gets closer. 

“I’ll tell you what,” his mother starts, her tone turning proud. “She’s strong. You two are practically soul mates so I was worried about her most when you left the first time. She’s my baby, after all, and she loves you _so_ much. She was still in high school too, which is hard enough for a teenager… but she was the strongest out of all of us. She kept saying, “Gary’s out there fighting bad guys for us and you all want to sit around and mope.”” His mother stops to laugh, letting it bubble out free and lovingly. 

Gary snorts, rolling his eyes at the familiar words. “She’s a dork,” Gary declares. 

“Yeah,” his mother nods in agreement, keeping one arm around his waist. She looks over at him, eyes twinkling amusedly. “But she’s our dork.” 

Madilyn parks in front of the house while the dirt begins to settle behind her. It’s picturesque for Madilyn, stirring everything up like a whirlwind only to let everything fall into place just over her shoulder. Her car door opens, and her blinding smile greets them. 

“Madilyn Express is right on time!” She jokes, stepping out enough to shut the car door too enthusiastically. 

The passenger door opens much calmer, and Jasmine’s head pops up with a cheery grin. 

“Jasmine!” Gary’s mother gasps excitedly, letting go of Gary in favor of walking down the stairs to greet Jasmine with a hug. 

Gary follows after, sharing a look with Madilyn. 

“We know who Mom’s favorite really is now,” Madilyn teases. 

Gary’s frame shakes with a laugh before he slips in next to give Jasmine a hug. 

“She’s lovely, Madilyn. What am I supposed to do? Not adore your amazing girlfriend?” Their mother scoffs, rolling her eyes at her daughter. 

“That’s fair,” Madilyn agrees. “She is amazing.” 

“You’re whipped,” Gary makes sure to tease as he walks back up the stairs. “I’m going to get my bags, be right back!” 

“The Madilyn Express can help with that!” Madilyn proclaims loudly, jogging after her brother and into the house. 

They’re halfway up the stairs, Madilyn just one step behind Gary, when she decides that they’ve got enough privacy to start asking questions. 

“You guys okay?” She keeps her voice low, just above a whisper. 

“Yeah,” Gary nods, glimpsing at Madilyn over his shoulder. They reach the top of the stairs, so he moves to his bedroom and grabs the rucksack on the ground. 

Madilyn grabs one of his backpacks and races to get the larger duffle bag beside the bed, but Gary beats her to it. She glowers at him, but he only smiles back fondly. 

“Mom’s good.” Gary reiterates as he shifts the duffle to his other hand. “She’s sad but not as much as when I had to leave the first time.” 

Madilyn exhales in relief, tugging on the backpack strings. “She was really broken up. You’re her baby boy after all.” 

Gary rolls his eyes at the comment, turning his back to Madilyn as he tries to maneuver out of the door. He does get wedged at one point, but with the help of Madilyn, she shoves him through effortlessly. 

“I may be the baby boy, but you’re her _baby_.” Gary throws back, glad to hear Madilyn groan. 

“Don’t say that in front of her or else she’ll start pinching my cheeks and cooing at me.” 

Gary barks out a laugh as they reach the ground floor. “Fine, I won’t this time. But next time I come home I will.” 

Madilyn walks past Gary, a crooked smile on her face as she moves to the door. “I’m looking forward to it,” she says genuinely. Gary knows she means it, even if it might be some torture for her, she’d take it to have her brother back. 

She pushes through, then waits on the other side with the door in her hand so Gary can follow behind. 

“Oh, here they come.” Gary’s mom says sadly. He glimpses up, not surprised that she has her arms and her cardigan wrapped tightly around her. Her lips are pursed so they don’t quiver. “This is my least favorite part.” 

“Then let’s not do it!” Madilyn suggests, shutting the screen door gently behind Gary. “This isn’t a goodbye. This is just an ‘until next time.’” 

“How dare you always be so optimistic,” their mother sighs out her words, reaching out to cup Madilyn’s face in her hands. She plants a kiss on her daughter’s forehead before she pulls back with a smile. “I simply don’t know where you learned it from.” 

“Hm, I wonder?” Madilyn teases right back, earning a fond eye roll from her mother. 

Gary has to put the duffle bag in the trunk and even managed to squeeze the rucksack in right beside it. How he managed that with the little trunk space Madilyn has, he’ll never know. He pushes down on the hatch, letting it fall closed with a thunk. 

“Gary, come here,” his mother beckons, having heard the trunk close. 

She holds her arms out wide, so Gary slides in with a grin and squeezes his mother tight. 

“Until next time,” she says against his shoulder, where Gary can feel her tears start to soak through his shirt. 

“Until next time,” he agrees, giving her one last tight squeeze before they depart. 

She doesn’t look him in the eyes, too embarrassed about the tears that have stained her cheeks, but she nods to herself. “I’m proud of you, Gary.” 

The warmth that fills Gary’s chest makes him want to squirm. He’s not sure what to say in this moment, anything he can think of doesn’t seem right. So he smiles and matches his mother’s nod. 

Madilyn reads the moment well enough for everyone, slinging an arm around Gary’s shoulders. “Okay, let’s get you in the car, old man.” 

Gary rolls his eyes, but allows himself to be led away by his sister. She even opens the door to complete the act, putting a hand on the top of Gary’s head as she places him inside. Gary watches his mother laugh, making her wet eyes twinkle happily instead. It is Madilyn’s gift after all. 

Their mother heads up the stairs as Madilyn and Jasmine get in the car. Gary begins to remember each detail; the way the engine rumbles to life, and the cool air that courses through the car when Madilyn rolls down the window, and his mother standing at the top of the porch steps with her worn cardigan tucked around her tightly. She waves while Madilyn puts the car in reverse, so Gary sticks his arm out and waves back. 

They keep this up until Madilyn has them far down the driveway, where his mother is nothing but a small blur in front of the house. 

With a sigh, Gary brings his arm back inside. 

“Want to stop and get something to eat first?” Madilyn asks, her eyes catching Gary’s in the rear view mirror. 

Gary grins but accepts the offer with ease. “I wouldn’t mind a good donut.” 

“I know just the place,” Jasmine waggles her brows as she pulls out her phone to start her GPS. 

-

They pull up to the abandoned airfield after consuming a _multitude_ of donuts. Madilyn made enough excuses for all of them, that they might as well gorge themselves now since they don’t know when they’ll be able to again. So Gary listened and stuffed his cheeks with donut after donut. 

He even has a bag resting beside him with two donuts, one for Simon and one for MacTavish. Gary planned on buying them anyway, but Madilyn seemed to read his mind and purchased them before Gary could. Her words were, “For your crush and that smooth-talkin’ captain of yours.” 

Gary snorts out a laugh at the memory while they all begin to unbuckle. 

“Don’t forget the donuts!” Madilyn insists as she steps out. 

“Of course not,” Gary agrees fondly, grabbing the back and stepping out of Madilyn’s gray Honda. 

There’s a brief silence as their doors close and all they’re left with is the sound of the wind rustling through the long grass. It doesn’t take long for Madilyn to fill that silence, jumping forward into her brother’s arms and squeezing the air out of him. 

“Promise me you’ll be back.” Madilyn demands with her cheek pressed to Gary’s shoulder. 

He smirks, even presses a kiss to the top of her head. She doesn’t have her auburn hair pulled into a ponytail today, instead it falls around her shoulders, still damp from her morning shower. She smells good - she smells like home, so Gary takes a deep breath. 

“As soon as I can, I’ll be back.” Gary promises. He’s hesitant to say something he can’t uphold, but he’ll try. And he thinks that’s good enough. 

“And you’ll call.” Madliyn tacks on. 

Gary laughs, but he nods. “Yes, I’ll call.” 

“And-”

“Text.” Gary finishes for her, placing his hands on her shoulders so they can meet each other’s eyes. “I will, Madilyn. I won’t drop off the face of the Earth, okay? But just remember that it might be a while. Okay? Don’t worry if it’s been a month or two before you hear from me.” 

“I want pictures too,” Madilyn declares, while she’s on her streak.

Gary brings up a hand, rustling it through her hair like any big brother would. He’s glad to see it gets her a little annoyed, but it quickly turns to fondness as she grabs his wrist and pushes his hand away. 

“I’ll see what I can do.” 

“That’s good enough for me,” Madilyn beams, placing her hands on her hips proudly. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Gary winks at her.

“I think I hear your ride.” Jasmine has her head tilted back to the sky, one hand over her brow to block the sun. 

Gary and Madilyn strain their ears but they can hear it too. The thrum of an incoming plane. Gary steps forward to follow Jasmine’s line of sight and isn’t shocked to see a plane - nothing special, big enough for a few soldiers, coming through the clouds. 

“I better start heading down,” Gary exhales, feeling the weight of this all coming down on him at once. A horrible concoction of sadness that his time is over here, but a joy entwined with that sadness since he’ll be with the task force again. With Simon. 

Madilyn walks to the back of the trunk silently, popping it open. This time she doesn’t reach for the bags. There’s no reason to when Gary’s the only one authorized to head down. Jasmine and Madilyn really should start leaving now, but he knows them both well enough to know they’ll be staying right here until Gary’s gone. 

Gary takes the rucksack, his duffle, and his backpack, and while it’s not the easiest to juggle, he’s making due. It helps that he's able to stuff the donuts into his bag. He casts the couple one last look before he treks through the long grass, headed towards the pale, cracked asphalt of the airfield. 

He’s halfway there when he hears Madilyn’s voice from the side of the road, where they pulled over at. 

“See you later, alligator!” She shouts into her hands, making her voice echo among the grass plain. 

Gary’s head tips back, laughing into the air as the plane gets closer and closer. It’s going to land any second now. He turns around, unable to cup his hands around his mouth like his sister since he’s carrying his bags, but he shouts as loud as he can, with the biggest smile he can muster. 

“In a while, crocodile!” 

Madilyn beams back, throwing both of her hands in the air with her thumbs up to the sky. 

Gary shakes his head, glad that he’s feeling lighter and lighter the closer to the asphalt he gets. The tires of the plane squeal once it touches down, which is causing the excitement to get to him. He starts to jog now that the plane has come to a full stop. 

He wants to see Ghost. He’s so close, after being apart for more than half a year. Gary’s finally back. 

The back of the plane opens, so slowly that Gary’s heart feels like it might burst. He keeps his jogging up as the excitement continues to build like a crescendo. 

And then he’s there. Simon’s ducking his head as he steps out from the plane, one arm up on aircraft. 

Gary’s face is consumed by his beaming smile, dropping his rucksack at the open plane door with a heavy thunk. He doesn’t even think as he bolts forward, knowing Simon’s eyes are wide behind his tinted sunglasses. Gary doesn’t care. It’s been so long-

Gary jumps into Ghost, and Ghost accommodates by wrapping his arms around Gary’s center. He holds him, and then Gary feels Ghost’s grip tighten when his brain catches up. Gary’s arms are already wound around Ghost’s neck, squeezing and squeezing...

“Missed you too,” Ghost says with a smile, turning to press his face into Gary’s hair. 

“One day I’m going to kick your ass for sending me away,” Gary threatens, not releasing his lieutenant just yet. He breathes a sigh of relief into Ghost’s shoulder, so glad to be back in the presence of _Simon_. 

“I’m glad you listened to me,” Simon ignores the threat, his grip loosening when Gary pulls back to look into his eyes. “I’m glad you got this time with your family when you still can.” 

Gary exhales, his smile turning soft. His hand slides down from Ghost’s shoulder to rest on Ghost’s chest, right over his heart. They both stay silent, listening to the plane whir to life - with Ghost's heart beating strongly under Gary’s palm. 

Gary’s eyes are on his hand. And Ghost’s eyes are on Gary. 

Gary flinches when he feels something move against his thigh. Then he remembers his phone. Gary exhales, feeling his cheeks flush when his hand finally falls from Simon's chest. He reaches into his pocket, seeing Madilyn’s contact. 

Gary looks up into Simon's eyes. 

“One last goodbye,” Gary promises, answering the phone and pressing it to his ear. “Madilyn, I made it-” 

_“Gary, put Simon on the phone.”_

Gary’s mouth falls open, unsure how to respond. His eyes dash up to Simon and then away again. 

“I’m not going to do that-” Gary says just as the phone is being taken out of his hand. Simon’s fingers brush against his as he takes the phone from Gary. 

“Hello, Madilyn.” his voice is low and smooth as always. 

Gary watches, trying to strain his ears. Unlike Simon, Gary can’t figure out what his sister is telling him, and Simon doesn’t give any clues away in those dark brown eyes. Ghost nods once, then hums to whatever Madilyn is saying. 

“Yes, ma’am. I will.” 

Ghost then holds out the phone, so Gary takes it numbly. He’s not really sure what that was about but he presses the phone to his ear. 

“Maddie?” 

_“Gary,”_ Madilyn’s crying now, Gary can hear it in her voice. She sniffles. _“I love you. Please stay safe, okay?”_

“Of course I will,” Gary agrees, feeling his own throat tighten. He swallows. “I love you too.” 

_“Bye, Gar.”_

“Bye, Maddie.” Gary exhales, pulling his phone back and disconnecting the call. Gary closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath. His shoulders rise, and then they fall with his exhale. 

“Come on, Roach.” 

Simon has a hand on the back of Gary’s neck, squeezing reassuringly enough that Gary feels himself relax under Simon's palm. He lets himself be guided to the side of the plane, lets Simon sit him down on the bench, and lets Simon pull him into his side. Gary doesn’t cry, but he presses his face into Simon's neck, hiding in the warmth there. 

The back of the plane starts to close, Gary can hear the door whir as it lifts but he doesn’t look up. Gary likes it here, pressed to Simon. It’s safe here. 

Gary doesn’t feel so awful about all of the goodbyes he just gave an hour before when he’s in Ghost’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading!


	18. Unnamed

It takes an hour for Gary to unwind, finally feeling his body relax after the silence Ghost grants him. It’s comfortably warm in the plane, and Ghost hasn’t left his side since they sat down. It’s nice. Too nice to be back with Ghost. Gary can’t believe it’s been over six months…

“It’s been a really long time since we’ve seen each other,” Gary breaks the silence, tilting his head up to meet Simon’s eyes. 

Simon stares back at him unwaveringly before he gives an understanding nod. “I hope you never have to leave me with MacTavish for that long ever again. He’s been absolutely insufferable without you.” 

A surprised laugh bubbles up from Gary’s chest, shaking his head at Ghost’s words. 

“I’m not kidding!” Simon insists, reaching out to brush a strand of Gary’s wavy hair behind his ear. The action causes them both to still, the laugher disappearing and instead replaced with a weighted stare between them. A moment passes before Simon’s hand falls back to his own lap, and he’s the one to break the eye contact that was only growing more tense as the seconds ticked on. 

“I’ve been pretty insufferable too, bug.” Simon admits with a sigh. He leans back against the metal of the aircraft, stretching his legs out in front of him. It takes him another moment to speak again, but when he does he holds Gary’s gaze for his next admission. “Without you we’re just a pair of idiots running around cluelessly.”

“Aw,” Gary lowers his voice, leaning in to hook his chin on Simon’s shoulder. He squeezes himself closer, taking a quick glimpse at the pilots to make sure they’re not watching before turning back to Simon. “Are you saying you guys need me?” 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Simon plants a hand on Gary’s knee, keeping his eyes on his hand rather than Gary. “We’ve got a long ways to go. You should get some sleep. Work on fixing that sleep schedule.” 

“I’ll consider it,” Gary laughs lightly, patting the top of Simon’s hand where it rests on his knee. “Are you hungry? We got donuts on the way over here. Madilyn insisted I bring one for you and John.” 

“I do believe Madilyn might be the best Sanderson at this point in time.” Simon watches Gary grab his backpack, reaching into the front pouch and bringing out a wax-paper bag. He tosses it in Simon’s direction, who catches it with both hands. Gary finally has a moment to think straight now that Simon’s not touching him. 

Simon reaches into the bag, wasting no time as he bites into the donut. He chews as if he’s pondering something, then nods to himself as he comes to a wordless conclusion. He takes another bite before he clues Gary into his line of thinking. “Yeah, Madilyn's the best Sanderson.” 

“Whatever,” Gary snorts, pushing at Simon to finally separate himself from his lieutenant. He grabs his rucksack, making sure it’s neatly secured before he stands. “I’m going to go over here and attempt to sleep. Enjoy your donut, lieutenant.” 

“I’ll keep watch, love. Enjoy your nap.” 

Gary can hear the lilt in Simon’s voice, the way he’s pleased and amused at having gotten under Gary’s skin, no matter how shallow. So Gary spares a look over his shoulder, throwing a sarcastic salute at Ghost before he throws his rucksack down and readies himself for sleep. 

Gary was thinking it’d be a couple of hours before he’d finally claim sleep, but he manages to fall asleep only minutes after lying down. 

-

The gentle press of Simon’s boot to Gary’s back is what wakes him up. He blinks, staring at the opposite wall of the aircraft before he remembers his surroundings. His confusion fades as fast as it arrived, and he’s filled with relief instead when he turns over and sees Simon looking down at him. The skull mask is a welcome sight, Gary notes. He’s missed it terribly. And the man underneath it as well. 

“Good morning, princess,” Simon says cheerfully. Well, cheerfully for Simon, that is. 

Gary groans, his voice rough and scratchy from sleep. He was hoping he’d feel better after a few extra hours of sleep but he only feels groggy. Even his muscles are sore, mostly in his arms and in his back. It’ll take him a while to readjust… 

“Come on, I’ve got your other bags. Let’s not keep MacTavish waiting.” Simon sounds fondly annoyed, which comes with being a friend of MacTavish’s. 

“You’re right,” Gary grumbles, getting to his knees before he stands to his full height. He lifts his arms above his head, stretching away the tightness in his joints. 

“Would now be a good time to tell you how gorgeous you look, love?” 

Gary glimpses over, a scowl set on his sleepy face, and ends up being surprised by the way Simon’s looking at him. Genuine and… well, Gary’s pretty sure that’s arousal in Simon’s eyes. His lieutenant lifts his gaze from Gary’s stomach, where a strip of skin had revealed itself during Gary’s stretches, and meets Gary eyes playfully. 

“Absolutely not, Lieutenant.” Gary tilts his head from side to side, a few cracks echoing with each rotation. Gary feels ready, so he bends to get his rucksack, ignoring the low whistle that comes from Simon while he does so. 

“Ghost?” Gary slips his arms into the straps of his rucksack. 

“Yes, dear?” 

Gary turns around, taking a step into Simon’s space. “Keep it in your pants. Got it?” 

Simon grips the edge of his mask, pulling it up and back so he can wear it more like a beanie. After the mask is off, and Gary has a good look at his handsome face. Simon takes a step forward. Never one to back down from a challenge. His playful smile never dwindles, nor does the twinkle in his eyes as he stares down his nose at Gary. 

“Yes, Sergeant.” 

“Good,” Gary smiles smugly, patting Simon on his taut stomach as he walks past his lieutenant. He moves to the end of the plane, careful as he walks down the slanted door. He can hear Simon’s heavy steps behind him, loud against the metal of the plane. 

Gary takes his surroundings in with a wave of comfort encompassing him. It feels good to be back. For a while there he wasn’t sure he’d step foot back on base, but now he knows that was a foolish fear. The base is just as clean and welcoming as before, with soldiers milling around; some walking, some running together as they get in some exercise. 

“It’s not easy, you know.” Simon’s voice carries from the few feet behind Gary, lagging behind for some reason. Maybe Gary’s walking too fast; he’s excited to return so he can’t be blamed. 

Gary almost asks him what he means, until Gary recalls his last command. He glimpses over his shoulder so Simon can see his eye roll, although the smirk Gary sports softens the blow. 

“You were the one who sent me away, Lieutenant. You were the one who made it hard.” Gary reaches the door to their office building, a small little space with a few other commanding officers spread throughout the one floor building. Their office is in the far west corner. 

Gary pushes the door open, then stands aside with it as he waits for Ghost to enter. 

“No, actually. You made it hard, which is why we’re in this predicament.” 

Gary feels his cheeks burn hot as he turns to glare at Simon. His smile is uncontained though, so the only heat he’s able to muster is from his blush rather than his glower. “No more double entendres. You’re incapable of behaving.” 

“I forgot how easy it was to make you blush,” Simon sounds proud as he stays a step behind Gary in the narrow hallway. “And all I had to do was talk about things being hard. I think you might have a dirty mind, Sergeant.” 

“Stop with that,” Gary shakes his head away from Simon, unable to stare at his unfairly attractive grin any longer. The way he smiles crookedly with prominently pointed canines and stubble on his face makes Gary, for lack of a better term, swoon. Those canines have become a staple in Gary’s fantasies as of late. Wondering what it’d feel like if Simon bit him-

“You’re only turning more red. What are you thinking about?” Simon lowers his voice, terribly amused at Gary’s expense. 

“ _Shut up_.” Gary whispers across the hall. He doesn’t want John to hear them spatting in the hallway. That’ll only give John some ammunition to tease Gary with. He’s just a few steps away, Gary’s close enough that he can put his hand on the door-

The door opens wide before Gary has a chance to even lay his fingers on it. Soap stands on the other side, his eyes wide and a handsome smirk gracing his features. 

“Mate!” Soap exclaims with an adorable amount of fondness in his voice. Soap is equally the most terrifying captain and the most loving captain that Gary thinks will ever exist. And that’s why Gary loves him. Soap comes forward to show his love by wrapping his meaty arms around Gary’s waist, knocking the rucksack off, and lifts him into an embrace. 

“I”ve missed you,” Gary laughs although it’s strained. Soap is squeezing with all his might, meaning Gary can barely breathe let alone speak. 

“Alright, Soap, that’s enough.” Gary’s not sure how Ghost does it, but Ghost manages to sound fond despite his words being a clear warning. “We don’t want to send Roach to medical after having just arrived.” 

Soap rolls his eyes but he releases Gary and lowers his sergeant back to his feet. The look he gives Gary is one of mutual suffering. At this point they’re both accustomed to Ghost’s crabby self, especially when it comes to Gary’s wellbeing. He’s been unbearably protective of Gary for years… once they started getting along that is. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt a hair on the little bug’s head.” Soap promises just as fast as he reaches out and squeezes Gary’s cheeks just on the side of painful. He’s one step away from cooing at Gary like a child as he says, “Look at you! You’ve changed, mate. You’re tan and even more blond! You look exactly like how you looked when you first joined the task force. Let me know if the men start teasing you again.” 

“Soap, _shut up_.” Ghost sighs out as he begins to set Gary’s bags down at the door. He stresses his consonants pointedly, and the glare he sets on Soap as he turns around is even more so. 

“What?!” Despite Soap’s exclamation of innocence, he knows exactly what he’s doing. There’s a pause where both Soap and Roach know that Simon is lifting a brow at Soap in warning. Soap concedes, shoulders falling with his laugh. “If he’s going to be teased about anything, at least it’s because he’s _pretty_.”

“I’m with Ghost on this one, Soap. Shut up.” Gary lifts his brows to make his point known, friendly yet firm in asking Soap not to start trouble. 

Soap turns around, headed back to his desk as his laughter filters through the room. He sounds happy and that spreads through Gary’s chest as well. It feels good to be back… he’s sure he’ll be hit with longing later when he’s met with the silence of his old quarters. He misses his family now, but it’ll be harder to ignore in the quiet of his bedroom. 

“I’ve got to go check on a few things.” Simon situates his belt, casting a look at Soap that’s weighted with a silent conversation that Gary’s not privy to. Soap looks at Ghost pointedly, but Ghost looks on stoically, waiting for Soap to cave. Soap returns with a lift of his brows only for Ghost to give a tilt of his head towards the door. Finally, Soap rolls his eyes and turns away from his lieutenant. 

The display causes Gary to cock one hip to the side, cross his arms over himself, and glare at his two commanding officers. 

“Don’t look at me like that, Roach.” Ghost walks by, patting Gary on the shoulder as he goes. “I’ve got things to tend to.” 

“You’re up to something,” Gary calls after Ghost’s retreating form. 

“Aren’t I always?” Ghost retorts, taking one last lingering look at Gary over his shoulder before he disappears down the hall. 

Gary huffs out a breath, moving to shut the door so he can interrogate Soap. Soap always cracks when Gary asks him things. Soap, after a few shots of whiskey, once said it was because Gary has an honest face. And then, after a few more shots of whiskey, he’d had his arm slung around Gary’s shoulders, swearing to protect Gary through anything. He proclaimed Gary as his little brother and swore at anyone that night who tried to argue. 

“What’s he up to?” Gary starts firm, planting a hand on the corner of Soap’s desk once he’s close enough. 

“Nope,” Soap turns away, purposefully keeping his eyes away from Gary. “You won’t get anything out of me, mate.” 

“Are you sure about that?” Gary smirks as he studies a few things on Soap’s desk. There are a few papers scattered around so Gary begins to gather them, putting them in a nicer, more organized pile. 

“I’m sure - Hey-” Soap reaches behind him, taking the papers out of Gary’s hand before swatting at Gary’s wrists disapprovingly. “Stop that. You can start working tomorrow. Until then you leave my mess alone.” 

“Fine,” Gary sighs, turning his eyes away from Soap’s disorderly desk. “But you admit he’s up to something.” 

Soap waves Gary off with a groan of annoyance. “I admitted nothing. What makes you so suspicious? We both know that lad is as boring as they come.” 

Gary cracks a smirk only to force it away seconds later. He won’t let Soap distract him with silly jokes and teasing. No matter how funny they might be when they come at Simon’s expense. “I’ll find out why you two are being so secretive,” Gary threatens. 

“Of course you will, lad. That’s kind of how surprises work. Until you are surprised, it will remain a secret. So stop talking because you’ll only get me trouble.” Soap grabs a folder, rifling through it carelessly before throwing it back down on top of his desk. Gary studies him in the meantime, remaining silent as he begins to ponder what this _surprise_ is. MacTavish, though, likes to fill silences when possible. 

“It’s probably for the best that Ghost pushed back your return date. I need all the time I can to strengthen my defenses against you.” Soap pushes away from his desk, pulling out a drawer roughly. The metal clangs loudly before he begins to rifle through that as well. 

“Wait…” Gary feels his heart stop at Soap’s slip. “He… he did what?” 

“Pushed your return date back,” Soap says gruffly. He’s distracted, and he always sounds like whatever he’s saying should be _obvious_ while he’s distracted. Regardless of whatever nonsense he may be speaking. 

Gary’s gaze falls to the ground, his mind going blank yet running a hundred miles an hour as he tries to piece things together. Simon made it so Gary couldn’t come back? Why didn’t Simon tell him?

“We all wanted you back weeks ago, but Ghost fought it. He said your family wanted to spend your birthday together.” Soap breaks the news to Roach unknowingly. Completely oblivious of the bombshell he just dropped on his sergeant. 

Gary blinks through the confusion. Gary answers his own question as fast as he asked it. If Simon had asked Gary to come back weeks ago, Gary would have said yes without hesitation. That would have meant Gary’s family wouldn’t have had him for his birthday. Simon knew how much it meant for Gary’s family to celebrate with him even when Gary couldn’t see it. 

“You mean… You mean I could have come back-” 

“Three weeks ago,” Soap nods as he kicks his feet up on his desk. He leans back in his old, worn leather chair, and flips the page of his folder. He doesn’t even look up - which is a good thing, considering Gary’s brain is breaking a bit. “Probably earlier but Ghost wouldn’t allow it. He resubmitted a ton of paperwork so you could stay.” 

“But-” Gary starts. He was going to say he didn’t want to stay… he’d been waiting to come back the second he landed back on American soil. Gary checked his phone _every morning_ for the first month home to see if he was being called back to the 141. But he can’t think of anything more ungrateful than that. Ghost did him a favor. Not just Gary but his family too. 

He spins on his heel before he thinks. Action before thought. He’s been gone for months but Gary navigates the halls with ease, moving smoothly around each corner, until he finds himself standing in front of Ghost’s quarters. This is the only part that’s foreign. Gary hadn’t had many reasons to be in Ghost’s room before he left, no matter how much they got along.

Well. Gary might be a different man after spending half a year away, because he lifts his hand and knocks insistently on Ghost’s door, and keeps knocking until his lieutenant flings the door open. 

There’s a pause, where Ghost’s face of irritation melts into confusion when he sees Gary standing on the other side of the door. He hadn’t been expecting his sergeant, that’s evident by the lingering agitation in Ghost’s gaze. 

And, well, Gary hadn’t realized he might be catching Ghost at a bad time. His lieutenant is dressed down to his cargo pants, belt already undone and hanging open as if taunting Gary. The sight alone has Gary losing all of his encouraging fire, and instead it shifts to a low burn of arousal curling in his groin and immediately stopping any words Gary was going to say. 

“Roach,” Ghost says pointedly, which makes Gary realize it might not be the first time Ghost has said his name. 

Gary snaps his head up, fighting off a blush at the fact he was openly staring. He’s not sure how people with high sex drives function in every day life. He’s not sure how _he’s_ going to survive now that things between him and Ghost have changed. Maybe he should be more concerned- 

Gary scrunches his eyes tightly shut, taking a moment to regain his thoughts before he attacks. It only takes him a few seconds before he looks back up at Ghost, green eyes locking on Ghost’s brown eyes with renewed fervor. 

“I need to talk to you.” Gary sounds tense, robotic almost, but there’s not much else he can say while he’s still standing out in the hallway. 

Ghost gives him a once over, his brows still knitted together in confusion, but he nods in agreement. He turns and walks back into his room, leaving Gary the door. So Gary takes in one last steadying breath before he walks into Ghost’s room, making sure to shut the door and lock it behind him. 

Gary turns slowly and isn’t surprised that Ghost is staring pointedly. He definitely noticed Gary locking the door then. Whatever. Gary takes one step back to press himself against the door. He needs that extra stability right about now.

“Soap just told me I could have come back weeks ago.” Gary blurts out. 

“Of course he did,” Ghost grumbles, rolling his eyes away from Gary and down to his belt. Gary follows Ghost’s line of sight, watching Ghost’s large hands grab one end of the belt and pull it smoothly out from his pants. He drops it to the ground, right on top of the t-shirt he discarded before Gary came rushing over like a mad man. 

“I’m not going to apologize for it.” Ghost turns to look at Gary, holding Gary’s gaze sternly. The low light in the room makes the shadows stand out on Ghost’s skin, draws Gary’s eyes to Ghost’s body, and the way some scars run through the dips and curves of Ghost’s muscles. “I’m not going to stand here and pretend that I know what’s best for you, or that it’s even my place to tell you that, but I know that it’s what your family deserved. A little more time with you.” 

Gary’s lips part as if he has a spiel prepared, but nothing comes out. Gary’s got nothing to retaliate with and he knew that on the way over here. There’s something he wants to say, but he’ll never find the right words... 

Ghost seems to mistake Gary’s silence for anger since he starts to continue. 

“Why would Soap even bring that up? Everything was taken care of and settled weeks ago. There’s no reason you even needed to know. The old git must be bored-” 

Gary pushes off the door, crossing the room of three strides, before he enters Ghost’s space. He’s being controlled by his confidence, cupping Ghost’s face in both his hands, only for Gary to stop short. He’s too self-aware, unable to lose himself in the moment, so he finds himself staring at Ghost’s lips. 

“I was going to kiss you,” Gary admits, flushing at his words. He probably looks ridiculous right now, standing under Ghost with red cheeks and pupils blown. “But then I remembered I haven’t done much of that so it probably wouldn’t be very good-” 

Ghost closes the distance, cutting Gary’s words off with his mouth. And, as cheesy as it might sound, Gary feels like there are fireworks going off inside his brain the moment their lips touch. It’s all overwhelming in the best way possible. Ghost is _kissing_ him, chapped lips on chapped lips, Ghost’s stubble warming Gary’s skin. It feels incredible and Gary just wants _more_. 

He takes in a deep breath through his nose before he pushes into Ghost, reciprocating with passion. Ghost presses in just as much, placing a hand on Gary’s lower back to bring him in closer while using his other hand to guide Gary’s arms around Ghost’s neck. 

The press of their chests together has Gary’s head swimming, and he _wishes_ he wasn’t wearing as many clothes because he wants to truly feel Ghost pressed against him. Skin on skin. But Gary doesn’t want to pull away, not right now. No, right now he just wants Ghost to keep doing what he’s doing with his tongue-

A groan escapes Gary, throaty and desperate and completely uncontrollable. 

“Bloody hell, Roach,” Ghost curses when they finally pull back, resting their foreheads together. 

“You’re, uh…” Gary trails off when he realizes he’s got a hand cupping Ghost’s pectoral. Muscled and thick under Gary’s palm, mixed with the feeling of Ghost’s heartbeat under his hand has Gary losing his train of thought for a second before he brings himself back together. “You’re a good kisser.” 

Gary’s eyes flit up to meet Simon’s just in time, watching his eyes crinkle with his flirtatious smirk. 

“That so?” Ghost all but purrs, voice low and gravelly, as he leans in close. He’s about to claim Gary’s mouth once more, but a knock at Ghost’s door interrupts them. 

They still, looking at each other curiously, as if they expect the other to know who stands behind the door. It’s obvious they’re both clueless as to who it could be, so they separate, begrudgingly so. 

“Two visitors within ten minutes? A new record,” Simon jokes as he steps past Gary and towards the door. 

“Let’s hope they don’t try and kiss you too.” Gary grumbles, eyes on the floor and two fingers pressed to his lips. He’s still in a daze, skin still tingling from where Simon’s scruff rubbed against him. 

“No need to be jealous, love.” Simon’s _highly_ amused by Gary’s tone, which has Gary blushing. He supposes he did sound pretty petulant, which isn’t very normal for him. Perhaps being home for as long as he was really has changed him… 

Gary rolls his eyes when he hears Simon chuckle, deciding he’ll keep his back to his lieutenant since Simon probably looks too smug to deal with right now. 

Simon opens the door, so Gary takes a few strides to the left towards Simon’s bed. He sits on the edge before listening to the voices at the door. 

“Mate, I wanted to let you know that our little bug might be upset.” 

Ah, MacTavish. 

Simon hums. Gary knows in that split second that Simon’s going to play along, probably in an attempt to get back at Soap in any way that he can. 

“Why’s that?” 

“Well, you see,” MacTavish begins sheepishly. It’s a MacTavish trait he knows well, he can already see the way MacTavish scratches the back of his head when he’s in trouble. “I tell Roach everything! He’s my sergeant. He was asking questions and I was distracted. It may have came out that you made it so he could stay longer.” 

Simon sighs. His acting is bad enough to make Gary laugh, a sound that he makes sure to hide behind his hand. Although Gary shouldn’t admit it, he’s enjoying this tiny payback they’re getting against MacTavish. 

“I know, mate. I’m sorry. I owe you one.” MacTavish sounds genuine, so Ghost ends the teasing soon enough. Besides, he’d much rather continue what he was doing with Gary than fool his captain. 

“Alright, I’ll keep an eye out for him. Thanks for coming around.” Ghost inches back from the door, giving a nod towards Soap. 

“Didn’t want you to walk into that without warning. He’s quite a spitfire when he’s angry.”

A smirk crosses Ghost’s features, clearly amused that Gary’s around to hear this. “Don’t I know it,” Simon agrees as he slowly begins to shut the door. “See you at dinner.” 

“Later,” MacTavish grunts out just before Ghost swings the door gently shut. 

“So I’m ‘quite a spitfire’ then?” Gary jokes. His words cause a smirk to blossom on Ghost’s face, infuriatingly sexy, Gary realizes. And it doesn’t help when Ghost begins to saunter over. Still shirtless. Trousers still open. All while looking at Gary like _that._

“You have no idea,” Ghost rasps out, arousal overcoming him as he approaches Gary like predator to prey. 

Gary, like the impatient Sanderson that he is, can’t wait any longer for Ghost to close the distance, so he wraps his arms around Ghost’s neck before pulling him down to the bed. Gary’s graced with the lovely feeling of Ghost’s weight pressing him into the mattress, so he accommodates curling his free leg around Ghost’s waist while his other leg remains under Ghost. 

“Have I told you how pretty you are?” Ghost’s nose brushes against Gary’s sweetly, and then again as he nuzzles Gary close. 

“Yes.” Gary’s voice is barely above a whisper as his heart seizes in his chest. Gary’s heart still races from Ghost’s praise. He’s content here, the object of Ghost’s attention, and yes, that does make him horribly smug. Gary feels a wave of playfulness take over him, so he bites his bottom lip before he cards his fingers through Ghost’s thick hair and tugs. 

“Needy,” Ghost growls before he follows Gary’s wordless command. He kisses his sergeant, languid and hot, tongue invading Gary’s mouth possessively. Ghost’s kiss has Gary’s back arching off the bed, becoming a melted, pliant mess under Ghost. 

“I can’t stay long,” Simon apologizes. He’s not happy about it either. “I have to shower and then head out.” 

“Mmm,” Gary hums, dragging his thumb across Simon’s slick bottom lip. “Totally not up to anything.” 

“Nope,” Simon answers cutely. He smiles before he presses a kiss to Gary’s thumb. “I need to shower.” 

Gary sighs as Simon clambers off the bed, watching Simon unabashedly. Simon’s muscled back has Gary wanting to beg for him to come back to bed. A few white scars adorn his back, others red and new. Maybe from the mission he and Soap were on when Gary was still back home. The tattoos though… they have Gary’s interest piqued. He’s always been fascinated by Simon’s tattoos, but now he has the chance to appreciate them up close. 

“I could use a shower too,” Gary suggests. 

Simon huffs out a laugh, risking a glimpse in Gary’s direction. His gaze darkens as he takes Gary in, spread out on Simon’s bed, tousled from Simon’s hands. Simon, like Gary, stares shamelessly, knowing that Gary is his to admire. His eyes travel down Gary’s body, like warm honey crawling over Gary’s skin. He can _feel_ Simon’s gaze, where it touches him, and Gary can’t help the moan that escapes him. 

Simon’s eyes snap back up, black pupils consuming his usually warm brown eyes. It’s pure huger in Simon’s eyes and Gary considers begging once more. 

“You can shower after me,” Simon says, voice rougher than before. He tears his gaze away, taking a few things out of his pockets. “I do hope you’ll still be here by the time I get out.” 

Gary reaches for another pillow, making a show of getting comfortable on Simon’s bed. It brings a smirk to Simon’s face. 

“Be right out, princess.” Simon promises before disappearing into the bathroom. 

Gary keeps his eyes on the ceiling as warmth overcomes him. He’s _happy_. He has Ghost here, he’s able to touch, and kiss, and tease him. He gets to see Ghost’s smile in person, not over a screen after just waking up. They have each other again. Gary knew he missed Simon, but hadn’t realized how much until he finally got his lieutenant back. 

Gary’s head turns against Simon’s soft pillow, eyes landing on the bathroom door. That warmth, that happiness, deepens. It blossoms in Gary’s chest, setting down roots, transforming into something else entirely. Something that Gary’s not ready to name just yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I'm not trying to drag this out but I get so swept up in writing these little moments between Gary and Simon. I'm a sucker for tender scenes. I hope you enjoy!


	19. The Feeling is Mutual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Here is a fine example of a chapter that was not supposed to exist but it does now! I appreciate you all being patient with me as I navigate this story. As I continue to write, I try to weed out things that don't really fit the tone of the story. I've probably omitted over 50k of chapters that just no longer fit. I can only sit back and hope I've made good decisions in taking some things out. Thanks for reading and please enjoy the chapter : )
> 
> PS. I took a lot of creative freedom with some npcs in here so just roll with it!

Simon’s shower is quick and to the point, meaning he gets out only after ten minutes. They all learned fast after joining the military that a long shower is a rare luxury. While on base you make showers short, conserve water for the rest of the men. The hot water doesn’t last long, anyway, so Simon’s being considerate for Gary’s sake. 

Simon comes out in just a towel, which is a distraction enough for Gary. Gary’s warm, and cozy in Simon’s bed too, so all he wants to do is tug Simon down to the covers and make him stay. Gary even makes an attempt when Simon gets close enough, but Simon laughs and, much to Gary’s disappointment, stays standing. 

“I’ve got things to do,” Simon says as he glides a hand through Gary’s hair. “You need to shower. Then we’re eating.” 

Gary sighs dramatically, falling back against the covers. Simon laughs again, a nice, deep sound, as he turns around and begins to get dressed. And if Gary sneaks a look at Simon’s ass once or twice, who can blame him? 

Simon pulls his t-shirt over his head, turning around to catch Gary in the act of staring. 

“You have no shame,” Simon jokes as he walks over to the bed. He plants one knee on to the mattress and brackets Gary in with his hands. He leans down, pressing a feather light kiss to Gary’s lips. 

“Are we forgetting the time I let you stare at my ass in lace or…?” Gary trails off, watching the way Simon’s eyes darken. 

“Definitely not,” Simon growls, kissing Gary hotly this time. “I’ll be back,” Simon promises against Gary’s lips. He grants one more kiss before completely pulling away, “Shower.”

“Fine,” Gary sighs, turning on his side to watch Simon leave. 

The door shuts, and as much as Gary would _like_ to lounge in Simon’s bed all day, he knows that he really should shower. The fact that they’re going to eat after he showers is an even better promise since Gary hasn’t eaten anything other than the donuts he got with Madilyn and Jasmine well over twelve hours ago.

He undresses, taking the time to fold his clothes and put them on the table in Ghost’s room, right next to his phone and wallet. Part of him wonders what would happen if Ghost were to walk in right now and see him, and while that’s a nice start to a few fantasies, he and Ghost have seen each other naked plenty of times already. 

Although, Gary is looking forward to being able to admire Ghost in all his glory. 

With heated cheeks and growing arousal, Gary hops in the shower and makes use of the short time that he has. All of his soaps and shampoos are still packed away so Gary uses Ghost’s, pleased to be surrounded by the familiar scent of his lieutenant. 

Despite the nice feeling of the hot water working his tight muscles loose, Gary doesn’t spend much time in the shower. Perhaps a tad longer than Ghost had, but Gary’s been spoiled these last few months. He'll shake the habit of long showers sooner or later. He towels off once he’s out, finding his bag of clothes resting under the table. 

He knows he’ll look silly in his civilian clothes while everyone else in the task force is in their fatigues, but Gary decides he’ll have one last go before he puts the civvies away for a while. He finds himself a nice pair of jeans, if not a little worn from Gary over-wearing them in the orchard. He gets himself out a plain white t-shirt and then pauses. He has to mull over his choices, but finally he decides on a blue and white flannel shirt that he leaves unbuttoned. 

It takes an hour for a knock to come at the door, which Gary spends texting his family that he’s made it. He knows they’ll all be sleeping, so he hates the idea of waking them up with a text, but he knows they’ll be even more furious if he doesn’t text them like he promised. He’s already pushing his time limit since he landed a few hours ago. 

Gary puts his phone down and answers the door, idly wondering why Ghost hadn’t just walked in. 

His answer lies on the other side of the door. 

“Roach,” Soap beams with sharp teeth. “Come with me.” 

“Oh, Lord,” Gary sighs, stepping out of Ghost’s room and closing the door behind him. “This is that surprise you _didn’t_ tell me about.” 

“Absolutely did not,” Soap agrees as he plants a hand on Gary’s shoulder. They walk down the hall as they talk about mindless things. 

“How was your shower?” 

“It was nice.” 

“And your _private_ time with Ghost?” 

“Shut it,” 

Soap chuckles as he uses his hand on his shoulder to bring Gary to a stop. 

“Alright, mate. This is when the surprise begins.” 

John’s hands, callused and rough, clamp over Gary’s eyes so suddenly that Gary lets out a squeak of surprise. He flinches back only to have the back of his head collide with John’s chin. 

  
“John!” Gary complains. He reaches up to grab John’s wrists, trying to free his eyes, but they’re all feeble attempts when it comes to John’s strength. Gary huffs out a breath, hands falling to his sides and shoulders sagging in defeat. 

“It’s part of the surprise, mate,” John says with a smile in his voice. “Just a few more feet, then I can let you free.” 

“If you walk me into a wall-”

“Oi! Have a little faith in me, Roach.” John clucks his tongue disapprovingly as he starts to walk Gary forward. “I know your tiny feet can make bigger steps than that, Roach.” 

“My feet are _not_ -” 

“Quit complaining already. Your lover boy did something sweet for you. Enjoy it.” John’s smile returns, Gary can just _feel_ it hovering behind him. He can feel John’s smile more than John’s imposing stature. 

“I’m telling Ghost you said that.” Gary smirks, glad when he hears John’s offended gasp. 

“You’ll do no such thing.” 

“Watch me.” 

“Awful sort you are,” John shakes his head at Gary’s teasing threats. “This is what hanging around Simon has done to you. Turned you into a little shit, he has.” 

“Sure, give him all the credit.” Gary exhales out his joke, coming to a stop when John does. It’s a little awkward, and delayed, so Gary’s foot stops in midair while John keeps him prisoner. Gary stumbles back a step, into John's chest.

“Hold on, there’s a door.” 

Gary waits, but John doesn’t move. He does hear the sound of the door opening though, so he knows that they’re not alone. It’s not much to go off of, but it’s better than nothing. 

John mutters a quiet, “Thanks, mate,” before guiding Gary further into the room. 

It takes a few more steps before John finally brings Gary to a stop. 

“Alright, Roach. Open ‘em.”

John’s hands fall, so Gary keeps his eyes closed for a second longer just to be a smart ass. The look on his face makes it clear that he’s trying to be difficult. One corner of his mouth quirked up despite trying to keep his smile contained is a dead giveaway. Gary can be a smartass, but he can’t be discreet about it. 

“Can I look now?” Gary asks politely before he hears a long, exaggerated sigh from John.

“Stop being a brat,” Ghost’s voice is there, so sudden that Gary’s lips part as he gasps. A gasp so small, nearly imperceptible, but Gary opens his eyes to see a knowing smirk on Simon’s face. Smug and confident, and Gary wishes he could say something but the eyes watching them helps him watch his mouth. 

Ghost steps out from in front of Gary, nodding his head towards the table that was hidden behind him. 

The majority of the task force sits at one table in the mess hall, overfilling it with their large muscles and long legs. It makes Gary laugh, an unexpected sound that has John laughing with him. The sight is just too funny and Gary _wishes_ he had brought his phone so he could take a picture of this. 

“I thought you might miss big family dinners,” Ghost explains with a sly smile. 

Gary laughs airily, the surprise finally hitting him. He stares at Ghost with his lips pursed and his brows tented up, his appreciation showing on his face. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” Ghost’s arm stretches out and around Gary’s shoulder, pulling him into his side. 

Gary grins up at Ghost, unafraid to show how grateful he is in front of the task force. He’s got his arms wrapped around Ghost’s waist, locking his fingers together so he can squeeze his lieutenant into a hug. 

“I think your soft spot for me is showing,” Gary whispers smugly. 

The roll of Ghost’s eyes, and the flush on his cheeks, is all the victory Gary will ever need. 

“I’d say,” MacTavish walks up behind Gary, throwing his long, hairy arms around Gary to get to Ghost. He squeezes in with them as their soldiers watch on fondly, laughing at the display of affection. 

“I think Ghost is regretting his kindness right about now,” Archer jokes from a few feet down the table. Gary’s eyes flit over to the sniper, sharing a smirk with him as he squeezes Ghost even tighter. 

“Just about,” Ghost grumbles, though he makes no attempt to take his arm from Gary’s shoulders. “Are you two going to sit down or do you plan on annoying me all night?” 

Gary feels Soap’s cheek rest against the top of his head, so Gary laughs happily before answering. 

“Both.” 

“Both,” Soap agrees before peeling himself away from the couple. He takes his seat on one side, leaving room enough for two on the other. 

Gary swats Ghost’s ass twice, a companionable (and flirtatious) gesture, before he claims one of the open spaces. Ghost catches his eye as he takes his seat beside Gary, noting the pointed look he’s being given. It only makes Gary smile wider, fully aware of the tease he’s being. 

“Oi, Roach, come out with it then. How was your grand American family?” Scarecrow has his elbows on the table and his full attention on Gary while everyone else starts to dig into the food lining the table. Somehow Ghost was able to get all of the catering at the table, rather than sitting in the cafeteria for them to line up and get. Gary wonders just how many strings Ghost had to pull for this to work… 

Gary answers happily, talking proudly about his parents and his siblings. Ghost takes his tray while he’s distracted, Gary barely even realizes that Ghost is filling his tray full of food while he talks away. Scarecrow listens just as politely, so it’s no surprise when John grabs Scarecrow’s tray and fills it up for him too. A few others listen as they eat, while others at the far end of the table partake in their own conversations. 

“That sounds _amazing_ ,” Scarecrow sighs wistfully, grabbing his fork and digging into his steamed carrots. “I’ve never been to an apple orchard. It sounds beautiful.” 

“Never knew you were a farm boy, Roach.” Worm sits down past Archer and Toad so he has to raise his voice to be heard. Gary glances over, sharing Worm’s friendly smile. “Makes sense now that I think about it.” 

Gary laughs as Ghost nudges him in the side, a clear indication that he should start eating. Gary nudges back but picks up his fork nonetheless. He goes for the mashed potatoes first, only stopping so he can answer back. 

“Are you stereotyping me, Worm?” Gary scoops up some instant potatoes and takes a bite. They’re not the best, nothing like the warm, buttery potatoes back home, but they’re _familiar._

“‘Course,” Worm calls back, reaching for his juice. “Then again, when I joined the task force your accent sounded nothing like it does now. I didn’t even know you were American.” 

“Same here,” Toad agrees mildly. Archer’s stealing some peas off his tray so Toad focuses on pulling the tray away every time Archer’s spoon delves in. Toad smirks when he hears Archer’s exasperated sigh. 

“My accent has changed?” Gary inquires genuinely. He takes a moment, trying to think of the last few words he’s said. He’s not surprised… he just never noticed. Then again, he supposes most people don’t realize when they finally start acclimating to their environments. 

“Very much so,” John agrees as he bites into a roll of bread. “You used to have a beautiful Scottish inflection, you did. I was very proud of it.” 

Gary snorts, rolling his eyes as John tears the bread in half and starts to fill it with the meat on his tray. 

“Well, what do I sound like now?” Gary turns to look at his soldiers. Scarecrow, Toad, Archer, and Worm, sat in that order, all glimpse at each other. It’s Archer who clears his throat, having decided he’ll be the one to attempt Gary’s accent. 

“You sound a little like this,” Archer’s tone is exaggerated, sounding like a poor accent to Gary, but Toad and Scarecrow nod as if they think it was a perfect imitation. 

Worm rolls his eyes, since he’s a resident American himself he seems to agree it was pretty awful. 

“You just sound Southern, Roach.” Worm answers as he grabs a roll from the center plate. It’s being moved down the table, and they’re disappearing fast. “Like a southern belle. Speaking of, know of any pretty ladies down south that are interested in a handsome soldier such as myself?” 

“For a man of your character, I can think of none so fine,” Gary answers playfully, starting on his vegetables. 

Worm stares at him with a blank look on his face until Rooster’s head pops up from a few soldiers down. He rolls his eyes at Worm, raising his voice so he can be heard.

“He said no, but he’s being sarcastic about it.” Rooster shakes his head when Worm looks even more confused. “Not a lick of sense in this task force, I swear.” 

“You’ll have to tell us what Rooster says now,” Archer demands with his cheeks full of food. The poor Irishman looks at Gary with hope in his eyes. “I can’t tell if he’s being nice to me or insulting me half the time. His southern colloquialisms are lost on me.” 

“You’re one to talk,” Rooster shots back, “You and with your mushed together Irish is no better than my mushed together Southern.” 

“Rooster’s from a holler in Kentucky,” Gary points out, jutting his chin at Rooster when he sees the soldier smile proudly. “That’s a different type of southern, right there. It’s probably just safe to assume he’s insulting you, Archer.” 

The men around them laugh, even Ghost as he presses his leg against Gary’s under the table. 

Dinner with his soldiers is wonderful. Gary couldn’t be more grateful for his gift. And the thoughtfulness that Ghost showed fill Gary with warmth; both fondness and arousal. He supposes he finally understands the power of flowers on Valentine’s day. Seeing Simon’s kindness first hand makes Gary want to show Simon just how appreciative he is. 

The group cleans up surprisingly fast, returning the dishes to the mess hall where a few men reside, none that belong to the task force. They take the dirty dishes happily, not many considering they made use of paper trays and recyclable cutlery. The fact that no one has to worry about the dishes makes this gift even better.

The group fades after the men start to head back to their rooms, or their buddy’s room to hang out and talk before the end of the night. It’s still fairly early, but late enough that it wouldn’t be strange if anyone wanted to retire for the evening. 

Soap’s the last one to leave, clapping a hand on both Ghost’s and Gary’s shoulders. He looks at them knowing, a quirk to his lips, and a twinkle in his eye. It’s a mirthful look coming from their captain, which makes Gary nervous for a split second. 

“This was a very nice dinner, Ghost. Very thoughtful. Glad to see Gary’s still teaching you a few things,” Soap winks at the two of them before his hands fall. “I’ll see you both tomorrow. I’m sure I don’t need to go over the importance of safe sex with you?”

“Jesus Christ,” Ghost snips with bright pink cheeks. “I don’t know what you think is going to happen but not that. Leave us alone already.” 

Soap seems content enough to have gotten a rise out of Ghost, so he spares them one last wink before he turns on his heel and leaves them in the cafeteria. The sounds of the dishwashers in the kitchen is the only muted sound they can hear. Considering the look of chagrin on Ghost’s face, Gary’s sure that Ghost is ready to call an end to the evening. 

“Look at you,” Gary reaches up to poke at Ghost’s cheek. “So pink.” 

“Shut it,” Ghost grumbles fondly, grabbing Gary’s hand only to hold it at their sides. He doesn’t let go, and the way he strokes his thumb gently over the back of Gary’s hand is an added tenderness Gary hadn’t expected. 

A thought pops into Gary’s head as quickly as he voices it. 

“So John’s your Madilyn.” Gary concludes surely. “He’s your embarrassing older brother why I’ve got a handful of a little sister.” 

Ghost’s grin is so soft that Gary’s breath catches in his throat. He’s captured by Ghost, feeling pinned under his soft brown eyes in the middle of the cafeteria. Gary doesn’t mind, although he’s about to suggest they head back to one of their rooms soon-

“It’s important we make sure they never meet.” 

Gary laughs suddenly, his brows darting up to his hairline in surprise. It only makes Ghost’s lips quirk up higher, smug this time. He works his hand around Gary’s wrist, this time sliding their palms together and lacing their fingers. Gary feels the heat of the gesture radiating from his sternum, down to his groin, causing his laugh to stutter to a stop. 

“You sure it’s not going to happen?” Gary’s not sure why his voice has gotten so quiet, but it has. Low and gentle, maybe even seductive, but Gary flushes to his ears when he imagines himself trying to speak seductively. 

Ghost’s lips part, caught off guard by how sensual and wanton Gary is being. 

“I-” Ghost starts, only to stop and swallow. He leans in closer, keeping his voice low, letting it rumble through his chest. “You’ve only just kissed me an hour ago and now you want me to take you to bed?” Ghost pulls back just an inch to watch Gary’s face, pleased when Gary’s eyes darken. “Moving quite fast there, Roach.” 

Roach’s distant look of arousal, as if he’s imagining what he and Ghost will get up to, dissipates and is replaced by a glower. 

“We’ve been flirting for months,” Gary reminds him heatedly. 

Ghost smirks the more Gary gets worked up. Gary’s not angry, he’s not even annoyed. He’s just _flustered_. Oh God, he’s actually sexually frustrated. This hasn’t happened to him… ever. Gary was too focused on other things to even bother getting worked up about sex, but now? Fuck, he really wants to beg Simon to reconsider. 

“All the more reason to take it slow,” Ghost says, wiggling his brows in a way that makes Gary want to pinch him. “It’s taken us years to get here. It’s taken you years to realize you like me,” Ghost chuckles, especially when he gets an offended look from Gary. “All I’m saying is that you need to let me court you properly.” 

Gary huffs out a petulant breath, an act so cute that Ghost’s heart-eyes deepen. 

“I’m not an actual southern belle-” 

“Oh, really?” Ghost teases, taking a step even closer. Gary’s head tilts back, his eyes still sparkling and flustered. Ghost closing a distance that was barely there to begin with makes Gary’s heart skip a beat. “Because you’re acting like an obstinate little princess.” 

Gary holds Ghost’s gaze for a moment and Ghost just _knows_ his sergeant is devising a plan. He’s devious like that, and it turns Ghost on in every way. Gary’s stubborn, smart, and gorgeous. Really, Ghost should be afraid of what Gary will come up with as payback and not be so amused but… Gary’s just so cute. 

“Fine,” Gary’s hand falls out of Ghost’s, only to plant firmly on Ghost’s chest. Gary pushes his lieutenant back a step using the leverage he has with his palms pressed against Ghost's pectorals, looking beautiful and powerful. Ghost feels a wave of arousal and also confusion as to why _he’s_ the one insisting on taking things slow. Ghost could show Gary the good time he’s asking for. But Ghost won’t, no matter how much he wants to. He wants things to be special. For Gary. 

“You stay here,” Gary says, then shrugs, “Actually, I don’t care. I’m going to go back to my room and take care of things there-” 

Ghost lunges forward, wrapping his arms around Gary’s waist and having his sergeant hoisted over his shoulder in a blink of an eye. 

“Obstinate little _princess_.” Ghost chides teasingly.

“Let me down-"

“Oh no,” Ghost is walking out of the cafeteria, one arm holding Gary to his shoulder. “You wanted to be a little shit. Now you deal with the consequences.” 

“Shut. Up.” Gary snips as he holds onto Ghost’s waist as he’s carried away. There’s a moment where Gary wonders what the soldiers will think, but then again, he hasn’t forgotten that easily what it was like before he left over six months ago. He just hadn’t realized then but… he and Ghost were like this for awhile. Was it playfulness or flirting even back then? Gary might have to ask later. 

Gary tries to wiggle free, but even one-armed Ghost is a dangerous man. Gary’s trapped, so he sags against Ghost’s shoulder with a whine. “You’re so strong,” he complains petulantly. 

“You like it,” Ghost replies, and Gary doesn’t have to see his face to know he’s got a shit-eating grin. 

The walk to Ghost’s quarters isn’t much longer, only an added minute before he sets Gary down in front of his door. 

“What are the consequences, by the way?” Gary presses his hands to his flushed cheeks, having had all the blood rush to his head from the way Ghost was holding him. “Because I can’t do fifty push-ups after all that food-” 

Ghost opens the door to his room with a swipe of a keycard, then shoves Gary inside with no preamble. By the time Gary turns around, Ghost has the door shut and is approaching fast. 

“Stop!” Garry giggles endlessly as Ghost sweeps him up again, this time in a way that Gary has no choice but to wrap his legs around Ghost’s center so he doesn’t fall. Ghost spins Gary around, only to walk straight to the bed and fall down on top of it with Gary glued to him. 

“You’re so mean,” Gary laughs, head tilted back and eyes scrunched closed as Ghost starts to attack his neck. The beginning signs of stubble graze his skin, and the light press of Ghost’s lips to his pulse point is _incredibly_ ticklish. Ghost refuses to show any mercy, especially when Gary’s laugh is so gorgeous. 

“You plan on makin’ me even more flustered?” Gary gasps when Ghost’s teeth begin to nibble at the soft skin of Gary’s collarbone. 

Ghost pushes his hands into the mattress, his lips leaving Gary’s skin to admire what he’s done so far. A streak of red along the line of Gary’s throat, beard burn looking so beautiful against his skin. And the flush of his cheeks, the glassy look in his eye, and that _smile…_ crooked and so playful. 

Ghost’s eyes dart up from Gary’s lips to look into his eyes. 

“Your accent comes out more when you’re turned on,” Ghost observes, lowering himself so he can press his nose to Gary’s. 

“Oh?” Gary’s brows dance up in amusement, an attractive smugness about him. “Changing your mind about taking it slow?” 

“No,” Ghost grins through his words, laughing when he sees Gary roll his eyes. 

Gary makes Ghost’s rumpled sheets and flat pillows look like far more regal than it is. He’s golden, tanned from working on his orchard, and his golden hair is sun bleached from his time in the sun. Ghost’s body turns his thoughts into actions as if he has no say in the matter. He reaches up, carding his fingers through Gary’s shaggy blonde hair. 

“Emma was going to cut it before I left,” Gary says idly, leaning into Ghost’s warm, open palm. Gary looks sheepish, even a little tired, but Ghost attributes that to the way he’s scratching Gary’s scalp. Gary always was affectionate. “We just spent our night relaxing instead.” 

“Hm,” Ghost hums, tucking a lock of hair behind Gary’s ear. He lets his fingers glide all the way down, behind Gary’s ear, down his neck, only stopping to cup his hand around Gary’s jaw. “You look like you did when I first met you.” 

The corner of Gary’s mouth quirks. Ghost is almost too focused on watching Gary’s mouth that he barely feels the light touch of Gary’s hands, curling around the back of his head. 

“That was a long time ago,” Gary ponders, his voice light and playful. “You were young then.” 

“Younger,” Ghost corrects with a warning glare. 

Gary laughs and Ghost soaks it in, absorbs the warmth and sunshine radiating off of his sergeant. Silence falls after Gary’s sweet laugh dies off, and Ghost spends his time wondering how he can get Gary to laugh again. They’re both thinking, Ghost can see it in Gary’s eyes, can feel it in the way that Gary plays with the hair at the back of Ghost’s head. 

“I’m okay to take it slow,” Gary agrees after a few minutes of them enjoying each other’s presence. “I’m…” Gary pauses, flushing for the umpteenth time since Ghost brought him back home. “I’m kind of clueless when it comes to all of this anyway. Inexperienced.” 

“I’d assumed as much,” Ghost says gently, gliding his free hand down Gary’s side, down his thigh. His hand splays against Gary’s leg, feeling the muscle under Gary’s jeans. “You’ve been with the task force since you were twenty. Always stayed back on base when the guys would go out to the bar.” 

“I didn’t-” Gary starts, but sighs as he thinks. “I didn’t need hookups. Didn’t want them either.” 

“You don’t know when you’re being flirted with either.” Ghost presses a kiss to Gary’s neck, idly peppering Gary’s skin with kisses. 

“Whatever,” Gary rolls his eyes, tugging gently on Ghost’s hair. “How would you know?” 

“Well,” Ghost lowers himself down to his forearms, his chest pressed nicely against Gary’s. Gary’s legs tighten around his waist, as if he’s afraid Ghost is going to pull away. Ghost wants to tell him never, but he supposes those kinds of declarations are for another time. “You did come to the bar a few times, after Soap nagged you enough. Remember that task force that stayed on base with us for about a month?” 

Gary’s face scrunches together, lips pouted as he thinks, and then slow realization dawns on him. “You mean _three years ago_?” 

“Yes,” Ghost says pointedly, pinching Gary’s earlobe. “I think his name was Lieutenant Barker. He spent an hour with you at the bar, he bought you _drinks_ -” 

“It was _one_ drink. I don’t drink.” Gary defends with a deep flush. “He said he was buying everyone drinks!”

“That’s because you kept turning him down,” Ghost chuckles, kissing the underside of Gary’s jaw now. “I almost felt bad for him.” 

Gary stares at the ceiling, his mouth shaped in a way as if he’s about to speak, but all that comes out is a helpless noise. His green eyes fall to Ghost, uncertain. “Are you _sure_?” 

“Positive, mate,” Ghost kisses Gary’s collarbone. “I walked up to the bar to pay off my tab, you asked if I was leaving, I said yes, and then you left the poor sod at the bar and left with me.” 

“Oh my God,” Gary whines through his embarrassment. 

“Besides,” Ghost adds nonchalantly, “I’ve been flirting with you for years and you only just realized after you went home.” 

Well… that answers Gary’s question from earlier. 

Gary holds Ghost’s gaze a moment longer, his sinful mouth still hanging open in confusion, before he drops his head back to the bed. He stares up at the ceiling with the same confusion he had moments ago, processing everything he’s just learned. 

“That’s not the only time either. There was that one time-” 

Gary plants a hand over Ghost’s mouth, lifting his head to glare at his lieutenant. Ghost smirks behind Gary’s hand, unable to control himself. 

“I just… I thought that’s just how you were. You and Soap were always playful-” 

“I don’t flirt with Soap,” Ghost scoffs. “Even Soap’s aware of how utterly clueless you are.” 

“I…” Gary trails off again, shaking his head. 

“Taking it slow seems to be the best option, considering how long it takes you to realize these things.” Ghost presses a kiss to the inside of Gary’s wrist. 

“I’m going to have to reevaluate… so much,” Gary shakes his head again, eyes still tracing the pattern on the ceiling tiles. “You’ve been flirting with me. For years.” 

“Yes,” Ghost grumbles, pressing a kiss to Gary’s palm. “Now that I’ve properly broken you-” 

“Not in the way that I’d like.” Gary interrupts with a pout.

Ghost’s eyes grow dark. The roll of his hips against Gary’s is unintentional. Mostly. What else can be expected of him when Gary talks like that? 

“Now that I’ve properly broken you, I think it’s time we lie down. Perhaps you can call Madilyn.” Ghost attempts to get out from between Gary’s legs, only for Gary to tighten his grasp. Ghost laughs, feeling much like Gary’s trying to wrestle him rather than seduce him. 

“You’re right,” Gary admits, his eyes glued to Ghost’s mouth. His hands grab onto Ghost’s collar suddenly, pulling him down so their lips meet passionately. Gary kisses Ghost hotly, working his tongue against Ghost’s in a manner that doesn’t say _inexperienced_. Ghost growls into the kiss, but allows Gary to keep control, and he allows Gary to break it. 

“Inexperienced, huh?” 

“I haven’t kissed someone in ten years so shut up,” Gary blushes. His eyes stay on Ghost’s mouth, pressing the pad of his thumb to Ghost’s wet bottom lip. “Consider me a fast learner.” 

“You’re dangerous,” Ghost growls, pressing another quick kiss to Gary’s lips. A kiss that Gary responds to beautifully, back curling off the mattress, and chasing Ghost’s lips when he pulls away. 

“Call your sister,” Ghost orders, crawling out from Gary’s legs. He throws himself on the open side of his bed, while Gary occupies the other. 

“You’re infuriating,” Gary grumbles, but he listens to his lieutenant. He swings his legs over the side of the bed, kicking off his shoes towards the door as he goes. He pads over to the small table in Ghost’s quarters, picking up his phone and quickly checking the time difference to make sure it’s not too early back home. 

Ghost studies Gary in this moment of vulnerability. Studies the way Gary smiles as he looks at his phone, probably reading text messages he got from his family since he got back. He stands with his hips cocked to one side, nibbling on his bottom lip as he types something back. He’s gorgeous, with his unending kindness, fierce love, and a stubbornness to rival Ghost’s own. 

Ghost’s chest swells with warmth as he grows overwhelmingly content. He’s happy. Happy to have Gary back, happy to have Gary in the way he’s wanted him for so long. 

Gary’s eyes lift from his phone, catching Ghost in the act of staring. 

“Stop looking so cozy,” Gary demands petulantly as he walks over to Ghost’s bed. He takes the free spot Ghost left him before he happily cuddles up to Ghost. He swings one leg over Ghost’s waist as he nuzzles in close, nearly hiding himself in Ghost’s broad chest. 

Gary was already in Ghost’s heart, but having him so close causes that warmth to course through Ghost’s chest again. He’s not sure what to call it yet, but neither of them are in a rush to figure it out. So, for now, Ghost slings a hand over Gary’s waist to tug him even closer while Gary dials Madilyn’s number. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff... fluff... and more fluff. I've tried writing angst. The original chapters were going to be so much more angsty (keep in mind I've been writing this fic for over three years now and only just posted it last year), but I just can't bring myself to add angst right now. 
> 
> And that nameless feeling these two idiots have been feeling these last too chapters... that's love, right? 
> 
> Thank you ALL for reading and bearing with me as I get this story sorted out. 
> 
> By the way... I may be working on a prequel to this story now - all about the early, angsty, flirty, clueless Ghost/Roach before he was forced on this vacation. Would you guys be interested in reading a prequel? It'll be agonizing pre-slash since all of the romance happens here... but the longing will be wonderful. Tell me what you think!
> 
> I'm a sucker for fluff and I hope you are too!


	20. Drifting and Dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! No real warnings for this chapter other than some NSFW stuff happening!

Gary calls Madilyn, glad to hear her chipper voice through the receiver. 

_“Morning!”_ Madilyn greets, sounding out of breath. _“I knew you’d call me first.”_

“How did you know I called you first?” Gary laughs, his brows knitting together in confusion. 

_“I didn’t, but now you confirmed it. I am your favorite, I knew it.”_

Gary laughs, pressing his forehead to Simon’s collarbone. 

_“Damn, Gar. You know I’m a sap but I already miss you. I’m out here in the orchard and it’s lonely.”_

Gary plays with the hem of Simon’s sleeve as he listens, and Simon’s hand rests comfortably on his waist. The gentle touches are enough to drive Gary mad. It feels so good, Simon’s hand is warm and firm, and Gary’s never felt so comfortable yet on edge. Simon’s thumb ghosts under Gary’s t-shirt, gliding against Gary’s skin sweetly, and Gary’s about to ask for more until he remembers the phone call he’s on. 

“I miss you too,” Gary sighs. “But Grant and Graham are out there somewhere. Go bug them.” 

_“You’re way more fun to annoy,”_ Madilyn grumbles into the phone. There’s a few heavy thumps in the background. Gary can picture Madilyn hoisting up bushels of apples, stuffing them into the bed of the truck. Considering her rough treatment, Gary would assume those apples are for hunters to use for deer. 

“I think what you mean to say is that Graham and Grant annoy you more than you annoy them.” 

_“Exactly,”_ Madilyn agrees. 

Gary laughs again, trailing his arms down the tattoo Simon has on the back of his arm. Simon watches him intently, eyes dark. Gary meets Simon’s gaze, eyes wide and curious, the light to Simon’s dark. He takes in the way that Simon stares at him hungrily, thrilled that Simon looks at him like _that_. 

_“You sound distracted, you busy?”_

“No,” Gary blinks through the fog, watching Simon smirk. Simon, like Gary, seems pleased with the reaction he can get out of him. “Just laying down. It’s late over here.” 

_“Ah,”_ Madilyn acknowledges. _“So how was your reunion with Simon? As fantastical and romantic as I’m picturing? I saw him pick you up like the beautiful little creature you are.”_

“Madilyn,” Gary complains, properly hiding himself in Simon’s chest now. It doesn’t help that Simon’s holding back laughter, his chest moving with his silent chuckles. Gary pinches his side, but that does nothing to help his case. 

_“Come on, us ladies are alone now. You can tell me all about how you wanted to jump him. Or maybe you did jump him and you joined the mile high club-”_

“Madilyn, knock it off,” Gary’s face flushes deep red, even in his safe hiding spot of Simon’s chest. 

_“When will you stop being so shy? I’m your sister!”_ Madilyn giggles in her own sweet and devious way before a gasp tears from her throat. _“Unless you’re_ not _alone.”_  
  


Gary rolls away from Simon, turning around so his back is to his lieutenant. He’s trying to escape, but Simon wraps his arms around his waist and pulls Gary right back to his chest. Gary doesn’t stand a chance fighting both Madilyn and Simon at the same time. 

_“What are you doing talking to me when you’re “laying down” with your hottie? Damn, Gary, I know family is important and all but so is getting laid-”_

“I’m disowning you immediately. And I can’t see you but I could still hear the air quotes, which I don't appreciate. I’m going _now_ . And I will be _sleeping_ so you can tell the rest of our annoying brothers and sisters that I’ll call them tomorrow.” 

Madilyn’s laugh, louder this time. She loves chaos and somehow Gary gets stuck in the middle of it. He puts a hand over his face, feeling the heat of his cheeks under his palm. 

And then Ghost starts to press kiss after kiss, languid with each, to the back of Gary’s neck. 

_“I can do that, Gar. Have fun “sleeping.””_

“I love you,” Gary sighs with the exasperation that only a sibling can sigh with. 

_“Love you too. Talk to you later,”_ Madilyn’s smile remains in her voice, softening it, making her words saccharine. 

Gary pulls the phone back, ends the call, and then waits in silence. It takes a full thirty seconds before Simon finally cracks and laughs into Gary’s hair. 

“You’re right,” Gary pouts, “We can never let Madilyn and Soap meet.” 

Simon’s laugh is warm and deep and all Gary can do is bury himself further into Simon’s chest to hide the blush on his cheeks. He groans into Simon, looking for solace in the very person that’s part of his suffering. 

“Madilyn knows how to embarrass me even when she’s thousands of miles away,” Gary grumbles, focusing on the way that Simon’s fingers trail down his spine. 

“That sounds suspiciously like what a sister does…” Ghost teases, his hand so low that his fingers slip under the waistband of Gary’s jeans. His hand stops there, fingers splayed against the crest of Gary’s ass, a tender touch and possessive in a way that has Gary’s heart beating harder in his chest. 

Gary’s own hand slides down Ghost’s sides, down his lieutenant’s ribs, until he reaches Ghost’s hips. He squeezes, taking a fistful of Ghost’s trousers to tug him forward. Their groins meet, hot and flush against each other. Ghost’s lips part at the friction, so Gary takes his chance to throw a leg back over Ghost’s waist . 

“I’m not so tired anymore,” Gary says just as a yawn overtakes him. 

Ghost smiles at him, his eyes as tender as the way his fingertips glide through Gary’s hair. “Yes you are. We’ve got plenty of time.” 

Ghost plants a feather-light kiss to Gary’s lips, pulling back to stare into Gary’s eyes. The silent eye contact causes Ghost to lunge forward, capturing Gary’s mouth passionately. Gary laughs into Ghost’s mouth, only to let out a moan when Ghost’s tongue slips past his lips. 

Gary’s fingers card through Ghost’s thick hair, tugging Ghost further into him. Gary falls onto his back, leg still curled around Ghost’s waist. He pulls Ghost on top of him with the grip that he has in Ghost’s hair, a smug smile curling at the edges of his mouth. 

Ghost breaks the kiss, his hands resting on Gary’s ribs. 

“You’re dangerous,” Ghost growls, eyes glued to Gary’s mouth. 

Gary’s lips fall open, gasping offendedly. “You kissed me!”

“So quick to point fingers,” Ghost bites onto his bottom lip, sharp canines pressing into plush pink flesh. 

“You’re doing this to torture me, aren’t you?” Gary grumbles, putting a hand on Ghost’s forehead to push his lieutenant away. Ghost falls to the side with a laugh, but he makes sure to grab Gary’s thigh as he goes so Gary’s leg remains wrapped around him. 

“I could never,” Ghost breathes. He places a hand behind his head, arm bent and muscle bulging in a way that has Gary’s eyes going distant. Ghost turns his head in Gary’s direction, watching Gary tear his eyes away from Ghost’s alluring muscles so that he can glower at Ghost.

“Fine,” Gary exhales as he turns away from Ghost. He slides off the bed before Ghost has a chance to catch him, taking two quick steps away from the bed when Ghost attempts to snatch him up in his arms. 

Gary smirks as Ghost settles back on his elbows. He watches Gary with a quirked brow, waiting to see what Gary’s planning. 

“I’m not sleeping in jeans,” Gary rolls his eyes at the thought, shrugging casually out of his jacket. 

“Roach…” Ghost warns, his eyes locked on Gary’s as the jacket falls to the ground. 

“Ghost…” Gary repeats in a matching tone and accent. He’s gotten good at imitating his lieutenant after years and years of teasing each other. Gary quirks a brow at him, the corner of his mouth lifted up in a crooked, smug smile. It’s rare for Gary to look so cocky, and fuck if he doesn’t look good. So Ghost watches, even though he’s going to want to _do_ something about Gary’s cocky attitude and he can’t… or he won’t. One of the two. 

Gary reaches for the front of his jeans, laughing lightly when Ghost’s eyes follow his hands. Gary’s giggles overtake him, lifting a hand to cover his mouth. Ghost can’t help but smile with him, his eyes lifting to watch Gary’s face. His sergeant is blushing and his eyes twinkle playfully. Ghost has missed him too much… 

“I couldn’t,” Gary explains as he reaches down and quickly flicks the button loose. He unzips his jeans just as quickly and then steps out of them unceremoniously. He stands in his boxers and a t-shirt, lifting his arms up and behind his head to stretch his back. “I can’t be sexy.” Gary laughs through his stretch. 

“I disagree,” Ghost says as his face shifts into confusion. 

Gary laughs at his expression, coming over so he can climb into Ghost’s bed. Ghost’s face softens as Gary leans in, brushing their noses gently together. 

“You better hold me tight,” Gary faux-grumbles as he gets himself under the comforter. Ghost lies flat on his back, taking his trousers off as Gary makes himself comfortable. “I’m cold already.” 

“You’re always cold,” Ghost sighs fondly, leaning over Gary to toss his pants to the ground. With his new position, chests pressed together, Ghost can kiss Gary languidly. Gary moans happily into Ghost’s mouth, cupping his hands around Ghost’s neck. His cold fingertips reminds Ghost of Gary’s previous statement. 

“Okay, you are cold,” Ghost agrees as he shuffles under the blanket. He slides a hand over Gary’s waist, fingers skating under Gary’s shirt, before he pulls Gary into him firmly. 

“Yes, I am,” Gary tucks himself comfortably against Ghost, leg over Ghost’s waist and his hands pressed to Ghost’s chest. “I just spent six months in hot North Carolina. I’m acclimating.” 

Ghost rests his chin on the top of Gary’s head, his smile soft and his heart warm with Gary in his arms. They fall into silence, warm and comfortable and tired after a long day… after a few long months. But Ghost has Gary in his arms, his breathing evened out and nearly asleep… and Ghost hasn’t felt this content in years. If ever… 

“Goodnight, Gary.” Ghost tells Gary when he feels his sergeant relax into his arms. He presses a kiss to the top of Gary’s head before he follows Gary to sleep. 

  
  
  
  


_2 months later_

Gary’s sleep-addled brain begins to realize that his phone has been ringing non-stop for the last five minutes, so his first reaction is _panic_. He immediately assumes that something is wrong back home; maybe his parents are ill, or maybe one of his siblings are hurt, or what if that asshole Lincoln is causing trouble…

Gary pushes up onto his elbow, reaching over to scoop his phone off of the bedside table. 

_Madilyn’s calling…_

Gary hits the green button, too panic-stricken to think about much else. He lays back onto the bed, blinking against the harsh light of his cellphone. He notes that Ghost is right behind him, his chest bare and hot against Gary’s back. Sometime during the night they started spooning, a favorite position of Gary’s. He doesn’t think as he settles back into Ghost’s arms, his mind preoccupied with why his siblings are calling him so early.

“Guys…” Gary rasps out, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. “What’s wrong?” 

_“Ha! I told you he’d pick up for me!”_ Madilyn sounds smug. She’s probably smiling smugly too if Gary’s eyes would just focus…

_“Or maybe it’s because he got sick of his phone ringing for five minutes straight.”_ Grant challenges. And while Gary’s eyes are still adjusting, he just _knows_ that Madilyn’s rolling her eyes. 

“Guys,” Gary bites out, irritation starting to win over his patience. “What do you need? Is everyone okay?” 

_“Of course we’re okay!”_ Becca shouts too loudly, her words slurring together. _“Why wouldn’t we be?”_

Gary scrubs a hand at his face, exhaling loudly. “Because you’re calling me at four in the morning.” 

_“Oh shit,”_ Emma hisses with a grimace in her tone. Gary should probably turn his brightness down so that he can actually see them but he’s _tired_ , besides, his brain isn’t exactly working at its best performance right now. _“How come no one did the time conversion? I’m blaming you all for that.”_

“Are you guys day drinking?” Gary inquires, with a grumble in his voice. 

_“It’s late afternoon drinking, Gar. Don’t be so judgemental.”_ Graham clicks his tongue as if he’s chastising his younger brother. 

“Okay, I’m going back to bed now-” Gary announces, only to be interrupted by a harsh, ragged gasp. He pauses, concern coursing through his veins once more. 

_“Maddie, do you see that?”_ Becca’s voice is low but weighted with amusement.

Gary blinks, trying to get his eyes to focus, but he’s starting to think it’s a lost cause. It’s too early… 

There’s a pause, and then an equally as harsh gasp from Madilyn before Madilyn speaks up, _“Em, look.”_

“Guys-” Gary tries to end the call again, shifting his hips and switching his phone to his other hand since his current one is falling asleep. 

_“Gary!”_ Emma shouts so suddenly that Gary jumps. He hurries to turn down the volume as her voice comes through at a wild speed. _“Who is that? Wow, that is a huge bicep.”_

Gary is completely lost while his sisters all start to talk over one another. 

_“Holy shit,”_ Madilyn seems to agree. _“That is some muscle.”_

_“I always knew Gary would be the little spoon.”_ Becca sighs all too knowingly. 

Ghost’s arm moves just slightly, bringing Gary harshly back to the reality of their current position. Ghost has his arm around Gary’s middle, tucked up under Gary’s arm so his hand rests between Gary’s breasts, curled up and comfortable. Feeling Gary’s heartbeat against the inside of his palm.

“Bye.” Gary bites out before he hangs up and throws the phone down to the mattress. He lets out a heavy sigh into the darkness of Ghost’s bedroom only to feel the press of Ghost’s lips on his bare shoulder. 

Gary freezes before he lets his eyes flutter shut. He likes that… too much. 

“Sorry for waking you up.” Gary keeps his voice low, careful not to break the new peaceful silence that has fallen. 

Ghost’s lips leave Gary’s skin, filling Gary with disappointment at their absence. He can feel Ghost shifting back a few inches while he pulls the blanket up, but Gary’s so terrified that Ghost is going to roll away from him that he grabs Ghost’s wrist to stop him. 

“Where are you going?” Gary asks, hating how nervous he sounds. He just doesn’t want Ghost to leave… it’ll hurt too much if Ghost rolls away from him. 

“Nowhere-” Ghost answers just as Gary shuffles back into his chest - only for Ghost’s hands to snap to Gary’s waist. He stops him from moving any further back, pressing his fingers firmly into Gary’s skin. “ _Gary._ ” Ghost stresses, his jaw tense. 

“What?” Gary whines, trying to pry Ghost’s hands off his waist so he can finally press flat against Ghost. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad-” 

“I’m not mad,” Ghost exhales, his fingers digging into Gary’s hips bruisingly harsh. “Stop moving. Give me a second.” 

“A second for what?” Gary grumbles, relaxing into Ghost’s hands. “I liked how we were before-” 

“I did too,” Ghost sighs irritatedly, as if that should be obvious to Gary. 

“Good,” Gary reaches down, pulling at Ghost’s wrist just when his guard is down. He pulls Ghost’s arm around his waist, sliding back so he can put himself where he belongs. Pressed against Ghost while wrapped in his arms. Gary’s hips roll back just as Ghost stiffens, and that’s when Gary realizes what Ghost’s freak-out is about. 

Gary’s lips part, a smirk mixed in with his surprise. 

“That’s why you were panicking?” Gary asks, biting down on his lower lip to fight off his grin. 

Ghost groans, long and suffering, while he hides in the back of Gary’s neck. 

“That’s so hot,” Gary breathes out as he rolls his hips back into Ghost’s groin. Ghost groans throatily, pressing forward to meet Gary’s ass with his hips. 

“I want this, Simon,” Gary’s voice is growing higher with desperation, hardening quickly in his boxers as Simon continues to grind against him. “I know we agreed to take it slow but-” Gary pushes back firmly, back arching when Ghost’s teeth bite down on his shoulder. “I’m not asking you to fuck me tonight. Just - please - let me touch you.” 

“Fuck, Gary,” Simon pants into the back of Gary’s neck, his nose pressed into Gary’s hair. His breath hitches when Gary takes hold of his wrist, pressing his palm to Gary’s cock. Simon knows what Gary’s asking, so he applies pressure, longer fingers wrapping around Gary’s member through the fabric of Gary’s boxers.

Gary gasps before that melts into a moan, his hips rolling into Simon’s hand and then back against Simon’s dick. 

“Do you want this too?” Gary pants, gliding his hand down Simon’s forearm, down Simon’s wrist, until he can lay his hand over Simon’s, moving Simon’s hand away so they can have a moment of clarity. “I only want this if you do too,” Gary clarifies, lifting his head so he can peer at Simon over his shoulder. 

“Yes,” Simon rasps out, leaning over to capture Gary’s mouth in a wet, desperate kiss. “Yes, Gary. I’ve _wanted_ this. You have no idea how long...” 

Gary rolls over, his thoughts shutting off as he tries to get _more_ of Simon. More of his mouth, more of his touch-

Simon presses up onto his arms, kissing Gary sloppily as he places himself between Gary’s legs, between Gary’s thighs. Simon’s got his hands pressed into his mattress, placed on either side of Gary’s head, his head swirling with the fact that his is as far as they’ve gone… they’ve made out most nights since Gary got back, groped each other a bit, but not like this. Simon hadn’t even touched Gary’s dick before and now-

Gary reaches down, fingers gliding down Simon’s sides, down to the waistband of Simon’s boxers. Simon thinks, for a brief second, that Gary’s going to try and undress him, but then Gary’s hands continue over the fabric of Simon’s boxers until he finds the curve of Simon’s buttocks. Gary squeezes, greedy and needy as he pulls Simon’s hips into his own. 

Gary’s head tilts back, moaning throatily at the press of Simon’s cock to his groin. 

Simon watches, rolling his hips forward experimentally, just to hear that noise again. This time Gary whines, but Simon’s far from disappointed. He’s filled with a desperate hunger for everything Gary, so he dips his head down, pressing his lips to Gary’s collarbone, teeth to Gary’s throat, tongue to Gary’s earlobe. 

“Si-” Gary gasps, eyes scrunching tightly shut. One of Gary’s hand remains on Simon’s ass but the other reaches up to grip the back of Simon’s neck, fingers gliding through the hair at the base of Simon’s neck. Gary grasps, rolling his hips up with a particularly needy whine. 

Simon pulls back, although Gary tries to keep Simon hidden in his neck with the grip he has in Simon’s hair. Simon grins, knowing that Gary is stubborn, and confident in the right situations, but as of now he’s blushing, and his eyes are shining, and Simon’s never been so overwhelmed by how fucking lucky he is. 

Simon’s jaw unhinges, his lips part, taking in a shaky breath as he rolls his hips purposefully against Gary’s. He can tell by the shallow breaths and gasps Gary takes that he’s close and Simon has barely touched him. Simon’s skin is on fire, his brain consumed with Gary. Making this perfect for Gary.

“Simon,” Gary whimpers, his eyes opening and locking onto Simon’s. Simon’s never felt so fucking wrecked as he does with Gary looking at him. Gary’s green eyes are soft, desperate, shining in the low light of Simon’s room. His brows are tented up in the center and his mouth hangs open, lips red from Gary biting them. 

Simon leans forward, pressing his forehead to Gary’s as he rolls his hips more purposefully, more forcefully. 

“Kiss me,” Gary begs, angling his face for Simon. And Simon wants to give Gary everything so he kisses him. Hot and open-mouthed until Gary can’t even function enough to kiss back. Gary breathes into Simon’s mouth, his fingers tightening in Simon’s hair and on Simon’s waist. Simon watches it all, watches the climax, the way that Gary’s eyes screw shut, listening to the choked whine that comes out of Gary’s parted lips. 

Simon’s hips slow down as Gary melts into the mattress. Gary breathes through his orgasm, blinking his eyes open tiredly. HIs green eyes land on Simon’s, and Gary smiles so softly, so sweetly, that Simon’s breath catches in his throat. 

“I-” Gary begins, only to shake his head with a languid smirk. He cups Simon’s face, lifting off the bed to press a ginger kiss to his lieutenants lips. Simon thinks he knows what Gary’s saying, so Simon says it back by pressing Gary down into the bed, placing his arm under Gary as he works his tongue past Gary’s lips. 

“You too,” Gary breathes when Simon has kissed him senseless. Simon’s confused, that is until he feels Gary’s hand sneak between their bodies, fingers sliding past the waistband of Simon’s boxers. 

“Gary, you don’t have to-” Simon begins, only for Gary to kiss him, or bite him, Simon’s not sure what it started as. Gary’s hand is in his boxers, fingers around his cock, and it’s dry at first until Gary’s palm swipes across the head of Simon’s cock. Simon can tell Gary’s still figuring out the angles, probably working out what he likes doing on himself so he can do it to Simon. And _fuck_ , Simon lets out a choked noise when Gary strokes down his shaft. 

Simon presses his forehead to Gary’s collar bone, hips rolling into Gary’s fist as he jerks him off. It’s over quick, Simon spilling into his underwear, all over Gary’s knuckles. 

Gary tilts his head, pressing slow, lazy kisses to the side of Simon’s head as Simon breathes through his orgasm. Minutes pass until Gary pulls his hand out of Simon’s boxers, and then Simon collapses to the side, next to Gary, one leg thrown over Gary’s. 

“We should sleep,” Gary says with a smile, sliding his boxers carefully down his thighs. Simon watches, already half asleep as Gary wipes himself off with his boxers, and then wipes his hand off with his boxers before he tosses those off the side of the bed. 

Simon hums a noise of agreement, his body lax in a way he hasn’t experienced in years. Gary and his hand sated Simon, prepared him for a good few hours of sleep. He lies on his back, far less graceful than Gary. He cleans himself off with the fabric before tossing his boxers in the direction of Gary’s. Those can be dealt with in the morning, as well as a much needed shower after they wake up. 

Gary pulls Simon into him needily, pulling a tired laugh out of his lieutenant. 

“Sleep,” Gary states, kissing Simon’s chin. 

“Yes,” Simon agrees, gliding his fingers through Gary’s shaggy blonde hair. He kisses Gary’s nose before he situates their pillows and pulls the blanket back around their bodies. 

“Goodnight, love,” Simon’s gravelly voice says into the dark. 

“Good… night…” Gary says, his breathing evening out quickly. 

Simon, as tired as he may be, lays awake for an hour, his fingers dragging lazily through Gary’s hair. All he can think about is what Gary was going to say. _I love you_ , he thinks. And Simon would have said it back without a thought. He loves Gary. He’s in love with Gary, and he has been for a long time. 

Simon knows that he can’t die without making sure that Gary knows that. 

  
  
  
  


_3 months later_

Gary, after receiving multiple texts from Madilyn a week ago about how she had big news, worked out a time with MacTavish to chat with his sister. They were in the middle of a long mission, already a month in, and it wasn’t easy to find down time, but Madilyn promised to make it quick and MacTavish said he could use their satellite laptop. 

Gary had maybe ten minutes. MacTavish came up to him, shoved the laptop into his chest, told him to make it quick, and then jogged off to make himself useful. 

So Gary sits down in front of the clunky satellite laptop as his soldiers move around him, cleaning up the room, organizing their stock, getting ready for when they move out soon. Gary had been helping before Soap shoved the laptop in his face, but Gary knew that his time was short so he logs in using Soap’s credentials - and isn’t surprised to see that Madilyn’s contact is already there. And she’s already online. 

Gary starts the call, and it takes four rings before Madilyn picks up. 

The resolution is blurry and choppy, but it’s satellite and it’s Gary’s only choice. So he and Madilyn will make do. 

_“Gary?”_ Madilyn’s voice comes through the laptop, and a few of Gary’s soldiers peer over curiously before they get back to work. 

“Hey, can you see me?” Gary asks, leaning closer to the webcam. 

_“There he is!”_

That’s Gary’s mom’s voice… he hadn’t expected her to be around. 

_“Gary!”_ comes his dad’s voice. _“Son, move closer.”_

_“Dad, stop yelling, he can hear you,”_ Becca says placatingly. 

Gary laughs, his brows furrowing as he stares intently at the screen. “Is everyone there? What’s going on?” 

_“Gar-bear!”_ Grant yells, interrupting Gary’s last few words. 

_“Grant, shut up, he’s talking.”_ Emma chastises. 

It’s safe to say the call is all over the place despite having just started so Gary’s head is spinning a little. The video is lagging behind, and then he can hear his family all shout that the video went dark on their end. Gary might be panicking a little. He’s overwhelmed. 

“Uh…” Gary’s eyes narrow as he tries to focus on the screen. “Hold on, guys.” 

And then, like a knight in shining armor, Ghost arrives. He stands over Gary’s shoulder while Gary’s family starts to squabble on the other end of the call. 

“What’s going on?” Ghost asks, leaning down to look at the screen. He’s wise enough to remember not to show his masked face on screen. That would definitely raise a few questions from the Sandersons. 

“It’s a trainwreck,” Gary comments absentmindedly, trying to work out the technical difficulties. “But that’s also just my family.” 

_“Hey!”_ is shouted collectively from the other end of the call, and that makes Ghost laugh, a beautifully surprised and genuine sound. Gary looks sheepish although his family can’t see him.

Ghost crowds in behind Gary, his chest pressed to the back of Gary’s head as he leans over to work on the computer. Gary simply watches Ghost’s hands work against the keyboard, flitting back up to the screen every now and then to see if the call has gotten any better. 

There’s a pause from the Sanderson end of the line before Grant’s cautious voice comes through the computer. 

_“Gary, I don’t know if you know this… but there’s a man behind you.”_ Graham says, making their family laugh. 

_“Graham, shut it,”_ their mother warns, and a slap echoes shortly after. The Sanderson siblings all laugh at their brother’s misfortune and Graham can even be heard giving a small ‘ow.’ 

“He’s my lieutenant,” Gary explains as his eyes track the cursor on the screen. He watches intently, taking this opportunity to learn, while Ghost fixes his problem. He’s a little distracted, so some information falls past his lips without much thought. “And he’s helping so be patient.” 

_“Wait, is that Simon?”_ Madilyn asks. Gary can see her blurry human form move to the camera as she tries to get a better view. _“Where’s Simon? I want to say hi.”_

Gary feels Ghost’s laughter against the back of his head, where Ghost’s chest is pressed against him. Gary grins, a small, crooked smile, happy knowing that Ghost would be tugged into his family one way or another. 

“Hello, Madilyn.” Ghost says in a low, calm voice. It’s obvious he’s amused, maybe even fond, and that makes Gary feel warm and content. Even Gary feels relaxed at the sound of Ghost’s voice - and it’s even better feeling the vibrations of his lieutenant’s voice against him. 

_“Whoa!”_ Grant and Graham exclaim in unison, shocked either by the timber or the accent. Perhaps both. 

_“Gary, you didn’t tell us you worked with a Bond villain.”_ Grant says as Graham tries to mimic Ghost’s tone and accent. 

Gary shakes his head tiredly, “Guys, please stop being nerds for five seconds.” 

“There,” Ghost says. Ghost’s hands move to the mouse pad on the computer, and with one click he has the resolution looking better than Gary could have even imagined. 

_“There’s my son!”_ Gary’s dad exclaims, looking down at the computer with his glasses perched on the edge of his nose. 

Madilyn is center screen, with her father on one side and Jasmine on her other side. Madilyn’s holding Jasmine’s hand, and Jasmine’s other hand is held by their mother’s. His mother stands just behind Jasmine, playing with Jasmine’s hair with her free hand. His parents are super close to the screen, so once Gary’s siblings tell them to move back, Gary can actually see the rest of his family. 

_“Hi Gary!”_ Emma waves happily from the back, pulling Becca into her side so the two sisters can wave excitedly. 

“Hi, guys.” Gary’s relief can be heard through the sigh he releases as he waves back. 

_“It looks busy there,”_ Gary’s dad adds, looking curious as he sticks his face close to the screen to get a better look. Despite Gary’s dad being the oldest person on the call, his behavior is quite adorable.

_“When was the last time you showered?”_ Grant doesn’t give Gary any time to respond to his father, instead taking the opportunity to tease his little brother. 

“You don’t want to know,” Gary smirks. His attention is captured when Ghost starts to move away. He turns in his chair, and Ghost looks down at him. “Will you stay here? Just in case I have issues.” 

Ghost’s eyes are cautious behind his glasses, but Madilyn’s butting in. 

_“Simon, stay! Our news is important.”_ Madilyn requests kindly. She’s ever the wing man… but Gary knows it’s deeper than that. Although Gary has never outright told her, she knows how important Simon is to him. She’s making an effort to include him.

Ghost moves so he can stand beside Gary, and Gary’s smile turns sweet now that he’s gotten his way. Gary knows Ghost is smiling behind his mask, most likely an uncontrollable smile that he’d deny since it’s hidden behind the skull printed balaclava. His lieutenant must be thinking about Gary’s smile too, since Ghost pokes a finger in Gary’s cheek, and turns his head back in the direction of the camera. Ghost’s finger falls, like it was never there. 

“Alright,” Gary laughs now that he’s got his attention fully on his family. “Tell me the news! I have to leave soon.” Gary’s interested to know what it is. He’s been thinking about it since he got Madilyn’s text. 

_“We’re getting married!”_ Madilyn announces, turning to share a beaming smile with Jasmine. 

Gary’s lips fall apart in surprise, and then the rest of his face catches up. His eyes grow wide and he’s beaming with the couple. 

“Congratulations!” Gary exclaims as the rest of the family clap and cheer on the other end of the call. Gary feels happy. He’s truly overjoyed to hear this, and he can see how excited Jasmine and Madilyn are, through the video call alone. 

_“I want you to be my maid of honor!”_ Madilyn says next. _“The wedding is in three months and I need you here, Gary! Please!”_

Gary looks up at Ghost, searching for _something._ All it takes is for Ghost to give him a nod and Gary’s filled with confidence and determination.

“I’ll be there,” Gary promises, looking at the camera firmly. “Send me the date, okay? I’ll submit the paperwork immediately.”

_“We can’t wait to see you, Gary!”_ Jasmine tells him. 

“Can’t wait to see you guys too,” Gary smiles softly. 

Soap’s loud commanding voice interrupts the call briefly as he says, “We’re moving out! Let’s go! Everyone on the plane!” 

Gary opens his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by the sound of jets flying by overhead. Low enough that the whole hangar shakes, Gary’s camera included. 

“Ghost! Roach! Let’s wrap it up!” Soap calls. 

“Okay, guys. Love you! You’ll hear from me soon.” Gary tells them, standing up from his chair. His weapon’s in view, so Gary moves it to rest on his hip. 

_“Bye Gary!”_

_“Love you, Gar-bear!”_

_“Stay safe, honey!”_

_“Gary, bring me back a souvenir!”_

Gary laughs, giving one last quick wave at the camera before he ends the call. Ghost helps him pack up the laptop, finding the armored case beside the desk. They put the laptop in, and the mouse, and unplugs the USB that helps them connect to satellite. That goes into a safely cushioned pouch. 

Ghost lets the case fall shut, and then flicks the clasps smoothly. He picks it up, carrying it for Gary. 

Soap moves over to the two of them, wrapping his arms around both of their shoulders. The trio walk side by side, out to the waiting cargo plane. 

“Did Roach have you meet the parents?” Soap teases, flashing Ghost a sharp smile. 

“Yeah,” Ghost says dryly. “They loved the mask.” 

Soap’s smile falls as he turns to Gary. “I don’t know about you, but sometimes I forget that the mask is weird. I’m so used to it.” 

Gary laughs at that but nods in agreement. 

“He didn’t _exactly_ meet the parents.” Gary corrects. Then with a wicked smile in Ghost’s direction, Gary says, “Yet.” 

“Oi, real funny, Roach.” Ghost returns. “I’m not meet-the-parents material.” 

Soap looks over at Ghost, and then back to Roach. Gary can tell gears are turning in his captain’s mind… Gary’s just not sure what Soap’s planning. 

“So what was the news?” Soap asks as the three find a seat on the plane. They don’t bother buckling up. 

Gary grins as he situates his weapon in between his legs. He settles back against the seat, feeling _happy_.

“My sister is getting married.” 

“No shit!” Soap exclaims, then reaches out to sling an arm over Gary’s shoulder. He pulls Gary into his side jostling the younger man excitedly. “I guess we better get some paperwork started for your leave, aye?” 

Gary’s smile doesn’t waver as he settles into Soap’s side. Soap doesn’t remove his arm, and, truthfully, Gary doesn’t mind. Some physical affection is welcomed every now and then, so Gary plops a hand down on Soap’s knee and squeezes. He looks up at his captain, and Soap smiles back. 

“We better,” Gary agrees. 

“Good. You’ll have to pass along my congratulations.” Soap settles back, getting comfortable for the long ride they have ahead of them. 

“I’m going to need a date. Want to come and tell her yourself?” 

Soap barks out a laugh, squeezing Gary’s shoulder. “Next time, mate.” 

“Are you two done flirting yet?” Ghost snips, no real heat behind his words. “We should all try and catch some sleep.” 

“Oh,” Soap coos as he reaches out with his other arm. He captures Ghost in a one armed hug and pulls him into his side. Soap squeezes both Ghost and Gary. “Stop being a jealous numpty.” 

Ghost scoffs but doesn’t deny it, and that makes Gary bite the inside of his cheek and hold back a roll of his eyes. Ghost, as much as he tries not to be, is possessive, and jealous, and it amuses Gary to no end and yet… Gary finds himself liking that side of Ghost. The way Ghost’s eyes narrow darkly when one of the their soldiers comes to Gary looking for some cuddles, or the way Ghost makes sure to always sit on Gary’s left when they’re in the mess hall, or how Ghost got all grumpy when Gary ended up sharing a sleeping bag with Archer a few nights ago. And part of Gary is coming to terms with the fact that Ghost has been like this for a while, even before they started… whatever it is that they have. He’s starting to believe Ghost when Ghost says he’s liked Gary for a while, and Gary can’t help but wonder _how_ long. He doesn’t ask though. Not yet.

“He’s right though,” Soap sighs, as if admitting Ghost is right is a hardship. “Let’s get some sleep while we can.” 

Gary laughs silently, his shoulders shaking. Soap grins, feeling Gary’s laughter against his side. Ghost starts to grumble at the two of them, but Soap just tugs Ghost back into his side. Soon Soap has his lieutenant and sergeant sleeping on his shoulders, so he allows himself to relax before he’s drifting off with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I've been getting a few questions lately about using these characters. As of right now, I'd really like to finish this story first. Thanks for understanding!


End file.
